If age is a number, what's size?
by Twi-girl09
Summary: Bella is in high school and is having a hard time dealing with everything she gets. She wants prince charming to save her, but what if her prince has always been there? Been done loads, but give this a chance? Please Read Review.
1. Prologue

**This is my first ever M story! **

**In this story, Bella is being bullied at school. I chose to write this story, because I wanted to finally put what I feel, my hurt and pain, into something creative. I am fifteen, almost sixteen and for years, I was bullied badly. It isn't anywhere near how bad it was before, but the wound still stings. So, this is like my own story, through the Twilight characters. I will try to give this story justice, I hope each and every one of you enjoy this, if not, I am sorry. I try my hardest with every story I write, and I will do the same with this one. **

**Thanks so much for giving this story a chance. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x **

**Age is just a number, so isn't size too?**

**Prologue.**

As you age, everything changes shape and size. Skin loses elasticity; it loses the life it had always had, the youth. Hair changes color and could fall out. Teeth discolor and get cavities. Your natural smell changes and you begin to smell like an old person. The musky smell isn't unpleasant, just different.

You go from being a young child to a teenager. You get boyfriends or girlfriends, sometimes both. You do stupid things, like get tattoos and piercings. You get drunk every night, until the thrill wears off. Then you start to try different drugs, and the vast majority gets hooked. They don't know when or how to stop and they regret it - until they get their next fix.

When you become an adult, you grow out of doing those stupid things. You battle through all of your problems until you are considered mature. But, maturity doesn't always happen. You could carry on with your addictions; go into debt trying to pay for them. You could get into trouble and die way too early to even be considered natural.

Eventually, a few survivors become old. They have children, and grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. They fall in love and get married; sometimes more than once. You lose family members and grieve, only to lose a friend and grieve some more. Until that day finally comes, and it's someone else's turn to grieve over you. Your life leaves you only to go to someone else.

They say age is just a number, but isn't size as well? My family has told me my entire life I am pretty, and kind and caring, smart and talented, but that doesn't matter in the real world. All that matters is what you look like and what size of clothes you wear; what your face looks like, or your hair and make-up.

Every day, I my mother tells me I am a beautiful young lady, then I go to school and I get yelled at. I am told how ugly I am, how fat I am. It isn't like I don't know, because I do. Whenever I see my reflection, I don't see some skinny pretty girl; I see what everyone else sees. I have tried to change it, believe me I have tried, but it's hard.

To know what people think about you is difficult. Well, it's not exactly difficult, but it hurts. It feels like someone is repeatedly stabbing you in the chest with a huge butcher's knife; thinking about it hurts. I try so hard not to show it, but I think my parents can see my pain. Renee, my mother, feels horrible about everything I get put through. She was, like me, big during her teen years and I just so happened to get that wonderful gene.

At school, I don't have many friends. Well, I have two friends, and honestly, I don't know why they are even my friends. They are both pretty and popular - Alice and Angela. Alice is who I would consider my closest friend. She has the sweetest boyfriend ever, well when he isn't with his friends, and is always there for me. Angela is my other friend. She's kind to me, but doesn't hang out with me much. She has a front to keep. They are both cheerleaders, of course, and are liked by everyone. When they are with me, people are careful about what they say about me. But, when I am alone, it all comes out.

It isn't just at school that I get yelled at, it's everywhere. If I go out shopping, or for a walk, people have to make comments about me. I have gotten used to taking my iPod touch with me everywhere, turning it up high so I don't hear their nasty comments.

My family, the Swans, doesn't have much money. I mean, we have enough to get by, but we can't always have the nice things that everyone else has. My father, Charlie, is the chief of police in our small town, Forks. My mother is a daycare helper. Money doesn't flow into our home like it does with everyone else in this town. But, we get by; we have no choice.

Any spare money we do get goes to my twin brother for football. He's on the Forks' team and everyone loves him. He's 'popular' and a total ladies' man. He, unlike me, takes after our father. Charlie was athletic and fit in his teens. Emmett got all the good genes.

We live in a small, three bedroom house. I try not to leave my room when I'm home. Charlie converted the loft for me, so Emmett could have his own room and a room for all of his gym equipment. I didn't mind giving up my room when I was ten, but now that I'm seventeen, I'm fed up with climbing up and down the stairs all the time. It's bad enough that I walk to school every day. With all the exercise I do, you would think I would lose weight. Nope, doesn't happen.

With a sigh, I start to climb the steps to my bedroom. Emmett has his friends coming over, so I have to stay in my bedroom. It's Saturday, and both Charlie and Renee are working overtime. Emmett's friends know I am his sister; they just don't accept it or like it.

The steps to my room are through Emmett's gym, so I can come and go as I please without getting in anyone's way. When Emmett's friends come around, they stay in the living room and kitchen, eating all of our food. I don't go down to the first floor when they are here; I refuse to be belittled in my own house. This house is my safe place.

Standing by my bed, I look into the mirror on my vanity table. Closing my eyes, I pull my baggy t-shirt off. I drop my jogging bottoms and step out of them, kicking them to the side. When I open my eyes, I try to hold down the bile that rises. I take my pointer finger and poke the bulge that sits on my hip. Going lower, I squeeze my thigh, not being able to feel the muscle under my skin. Moving my am to the side, I wave it and see all the fat wobble.

I squeeze my eyes shut and turn away from the mirror, silent tears running down my cheeks. I will never be pretty like the other girls in my school. I will never be thin enough to get a boyfriend. Nobody wants someone bigger that a size twelve. My chest contracts and I clutch at it with my hand. A sob leaves my lips and I sit on the bed, putting my clothes back on.

When I am fully dressed again, I walk to the vanity and pick up my hair brush, running it through my long brown hair. That is the only thing that could even be considered pretty about me. My hair is what I get compliments on when I am with family, besides the people I live with. They say I get it from Charlie, but I don't see that.

Putting the brush down, I get up and go over to the phone that is ringing on the bedside table. I answer it, my voice cheerful as always. The thing about me is I hide what I feel. I laugh about it, saving the tears for when I get home. I tell everyone it doesn't bother me, when all I feel is hurt and disgust towards myself.

The voice of my mother floats down the phone, asking me to start dinner for us. My blood runs cold at the thought of going down there, but I agree before saying goodbye and hanging up. I go down the steps and down the main stairs. I hear the chatter coming from the living room, but I ignore it, looking straight to my destination.

**Like it? Hate it? Do you want more?**

**This story may or may not be emotional for you. To me, this will be hard to write. I only aim to please my readers and I hope you all like this. I have Twitter, the link is on my profile so maybe follow me?**

**Thanks for reading. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	2. Chapter 1

**Thank you for all of your review, favorites and alerts. It means a lot.**

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a Fanfiction and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy!**

**Chapter one.**

I start dinner as quietly as I can. I don't think I could put up with any of them coming in here right now. As soon as it is in the oven, I can go back up to my room. There is no reason for me to be down here any longer than I have to. No-one is in the kitchen, a fact I rejoice in. I close the door quietly, resisting the urge to lock it.

I can hear all of them talking in the living room, laughter and jokes flowing around the room. I am probably the butt to all of their jokes. Emmett doesn't care what they say about me, to be honest. He doesn't say anything to me, but he laughs along. That is what hurts the most. My own flesh and blood finds my pain funny.

If I remember right, the only time he stuck up for me was when all of his friends beat up on me. And it wasn't the girls, either. At least ten guys charged me after gym in the girls' changing rooms. I always wait until everyone is finished before I change. They started by calling me names until someone took it too far and punched me. The rest joined in, laughing about how I couldn't feel it; how I was too fat to feel it.

Emmett and his closest friends, Edward and Jasper, came in when they heard everyone yelling at me. I was curled into a ball as everyone spat on me and kicked me. Emmett went nuts, telling everyone to leave. They did; and so did Emmett. He left me there, but I didn't mind. I would rather help myself anyway.

I would never forget that day because I genuinely believed my brother loved me. He asked me if I was okay at home and he helped me clean the cuts on my side. I didn't want to show him at first, but he demanded that I let him see them. I was a little scared, so I showed him. He didn't say anything as he bandaged the cuts and put ice on the bruises. The scars still run down my side and back as a reminder of what I am, and what I shouldn't be.

The door opens behind me and I yelp in surprise, turning around. I notice Emmett standing there, staring at me.

"Sorry, you scared me," I apologize, turning back to my task, with my face hot. I hear him going to the refrigerator and getting out another pack of beer. Charlie will not be happy. He doesn't say anything as he leaves and I sigh.

Being seventeen is supposed to be amazing. You're supposed to have boyfriends, fall in love, and get your heart broken, then fall in love again a week later. I thought I was in love once. I was fourteen and this guy was nice to me. He held my hand in the back of the class room and whispered to me how beautiful I was.

He made me feel special.

It didn't last long. Someone saw us holding hands and they told everyone. Before I knew it, he had turned on me and was one of them. He went from sweet words to nasty sneers, soft touches turned to leaving bruises. My heart broke; I truly thought he was different from the rest.

When he first changed, he would come to me and apologize for what he was doing. He told me they made him do it and I believed him. I was such a fool. I let him back in and I let him tell me those sweet things again. When he got a girlfriend, he still told me those things and held my hand when no-one was around.

During school, he was nasty again. It hurt, but I didn't believe it. I knew the real him and that this was just an act. The nice words would ring around my head, telling me that he still liked me. I couldn't let myself believe the horrible words. He was my one.

The nasty words began to come out when we were alone. The soft, secret touches turned to hard grips and it scared me. Our time together dwindled to nothing and his words got worse as time progressed.

We had a place. Nobody knew where it was, only us. We would go there and just talk, we would be ourselves. One time I went there and waited for an hour for him because he told me he would be there. When he finally showed up, he grabbed my arm and pulled me to him. He tried to kiss me but I stopped him. I wasn't ready for my first kiss, but he wouldn't give up.

He grew frustrated with me and threw me to the floor, kicking me in the side. He continued with more hits and kicks. I begged him to stop, but he wouldn't. He left me on the floor with a cruel smirk and evil in his eyes. I stayed on the floor crying for hours. My whole body hurt and my eyes began to sting. I wanted to run home and cry to my big brother, but I knew he would laugh at me and tell me it's my entire fault for following false hopes.

When I finally got home, my mom and dad were sitting in the living room, the phone next to them. I could see my mom crying and my dad had her hand in his. When they saw me, they ran over and held me in their arms. I winced and my mom noticed, looking me over. She didn't let me out of my room again until I was healed.

That was the only time my parents knew about the physical abuse. Everyone around town knows about the verbal and mental, but the physical stays on the down-low.

Richard, the guy who did that, moved away a few days later. His parents were divorced so he moved from his mother's house to his father's. Everyone blamed me, saying he was so repulsed by me that he had to leave. I know otherwise; it was the guilt. He felt guilty for what he did to me and seeing me every day made the guilt worse.

Emmett found out about what he did and wouldn't believe anything I said to him. He told me I was spiteful and jealous, and to get over myself. I wanted to cry with every little thing he said, but instead, I snapped. I told him how he made me feel, how it hurt to be spoken to that way. I told him I hated him.

I have never truly hated my brother. I couldn't even if I wanted to. I want to believe that he is still the same guy I grew up with, the one who would pick me up and take me to our mother every time I fell down and hurt myself. I want him to be the Emmett I know; the one who would play with me, even if his friends were asking him to play with them. The Emmett who would hold my hand when we went out just so I didn't get lost. I want my best friend back.

Still to this day, my heart hurts thinking about Richard. He was so nice to me, always there with a kind smile and a comforting hug when I needed one. I would never say we were boyfriend and girlfriend, but we had something. He was my best friend, besides my brother.

I finally put dinner into the over on low, meaning I don't have to come down and check on it. It should be ready when Renee gets home. I wipe away a few tears that have escaped my eyes and stand up straight, getting ready to go back up to my room. Looking back to see that everything is put away and the kitchen is clean; I go to the door and make sure no-one is there.

I scurry back to my room and slam the door shut behind me. I sigh in relief when I know I am safe again. It's completely stupid that I feel the need to be in my room to feel safe. This is my house, for goodness sakes. I should be able to walk around freely, and not worry about what people think or say. For an hour or so, I lay on my bed with my music flowing around the room. I let myself get lost in the soothing words and hum along with them.

Music has always been my outlet. Sure, I don't write it or even sing it, but it's there with me. The words that flow from the speakers are like they are written about me, about my life. It's like the writer of the tune or the lyrics have been through what I have, like they understand me.

But I know they haven't. Everyone you see in magazines or on the television are skinny, beautiful. They have never had to worry about what troubles life bring. They have had everything handed to them on a silver platter and they happily helped themselves. I would give my right arm to live a single day like them; to know how it feels to be liked, to be wanted for a change.

"Isabella!" I hear my mother yell from outside my bedroom door. I jump off the bed and turn the music off before going to the door and opening it.

"Hi." I smile at my mother. Her face softens and she rubs her hand over my hair.

"Hey, baby. Dinner's ready." I nod and follow her down the stairs.

My mother and I have a somewhat close relationship. She knows how I feel and what I have been through. She went through it, too. Of course, back then, it wasn't nearly as bad as it is now, but she still knows. The words still mean the same thing. The hurt is still the same.

I pale as we walk down the stairs to the first floor. The living room door has been left open and everyone in there can now see me. My size too big t-shirt suddenly feels too small for me. I pull at it, trying to get air into my lungs. I try not to look at any of them as I follow my mother into the kitchen.

Laughter fills the living room and my appetite suddenly disappears. I still sit at the small table opposite Emmett as he inhales his plate. Renee and Charlie eat slowly, looking at me closely. I just stare down at my plate, my stomach churning. I can feel every pound on my body. They're weighing me down like a ton.

"Isabella, eat your dinner," Renee pushes, nodding towards my untouched plate. My eyes flash up to hers before I sigh, picking up my fork. I push the food around my plate, not even trying to hide my disgust. I can see the calories in front of me, taunting me.

"Isabella," Charlie says softly. I know they are trying to help me, look out for me, but I can't bring myself to eat this.

"I'm not hungry," I mumble, pushing the plate away and standing up.

Emmett glances at me before taking my plate and scraping the food onto his own. He inhales the second plate as quick as he did the first. I leave the room as soon as my dishes are in the dishwasher and go straight upstairs, ignoring the laughter and whispers coming from the living room.

~/3~

I wake in the morning around six. Getting ready for school doesn't take me long, but I like to be up before everyone else. Well, Charlie leaves here at five-thirty every morning. Being the chief of police is definitely a full time job. I shower, dry and get dressed before going down to the kitchen.

I try to stay away from breakfast as much as I can, but I know I should eat it; brain food and all. To be honest, I know it's just more calories added to my daily intake. I decide just to grab a banana and a bottle of water. I am sitting at the table, eating my breakfast when Emmett comes down.

He ignores me, getting out a bowl and filling it with chocolate cereal. I grimace at the thought of eating that and take the remainder of my banana out of the peel. I eat it slowly, savoring the taste before taking a small sip of the water. When I finish, I stand up, scraping my chair noisily across the floor. Emmett looks up, glaring at me.

I choose to ignore his nasty look and put the peel in the bin. With my bottle of water in my hand, I go back up to my bedroom to finish getting ready and to grab my bag. Pulling my hair up in a messy ponytail, I put a coating of mascara on my lashes and stuff my bottle into my bag.

When I get back downstairs, bag in hand, Renee is in the kitchen. Sitting at the table, she sips her coffee and flips through a fashion magazine. She has always acted younger than she really is. Sometimes, she likes the child and I am the parent. Charlie keeps her grounded as much as he can, but she is so irresponsible sometimes.

"Isabella?" she asks. I sigh and walk around in front of her, waiting for what she has to say.

"Yeah?" I answer, somewhat impatiently. I'm not trying to be rude, but I really should be getting to school.

"Are you okay?" I nod at her words, not even needing to think them through. "Really?" I nod again, putting on a fake smile.

After we say our goodbyes, I leave and head off to school. Emmett has already left to pick up his friends. He refuses to drive me to school, not that I would want to go with him anyway. Renee and Charlie know there is something wrong with Emmett and me; they just don't know the extent of it.

They want to believe that he sticks up for me; that he helps me and tells off the people who say hurtful things. They don't know exactly _who_ is horrible to me. I think Charlie is catching on, but Renee is blissfully ignorant. I'd rather it be that way anyway. She would only fly off the handle and make Emmett hate me even more.

Walking towards the school, I ignore the stares that I get from the other pedestrians. Car horns beep at me and people yell out their windows. I resist the urge to flip them the bird and I just keep my head down, looking at the ground. Why give them the satisfaction that it is annoying me, hurting me.

I arrive at school and a shiver runs down my back. This whole thing may seem stupid and pathetic; but to me, this is hell. This school is hell. The teachers try to help, they really do, but they can't stop what goes on outside of the school. They can't help me in my own house.

They would stop anyone from saying anything, assuring me that they were wrong, but I know they aren't. After a while, I stopped going to the teachers, they can't do anything. The nurse stopped asking me questions when I limped into her room, bruises swelling up my face and blood trickling from my lip.

I breathe in deeply once and start to walk slowly towards the school. It takes everything in me to not turn around and run all the way home. Actually, maybe that would help. I wouldn't have to be in school and I could shed a few pounds. It's a win-win. I laugh internally at my own joke, but stop short when I realize it was just a silly thought. Like the whale could lose weight.

I go into the school, walking timidly through the halls. People look over at me and sneer, some spit on the floor by my feet. Every word and action cuts deeper than a knife. The nasty comments are swirling around my head, making me regret coming to school. I should have run home when I had the chance.

Laughter bounces off the walls of the hall, making me stop walking and stiffen. Just in front of me, they all stand there, whispering and looking right at me. I can see Angela, Ben, and Jasper standing at the back of the group, offering kind smiles. Alice, however, barges her way through them all and comes over to me. She wraps her small arms around my waist. Well, tries to anyway.

"Isabella!" she squeals. I hesitantly wrap my arms around her, letting myself get lost in the comfort of a single hug. That's all it can take sometimes to make me feel normal. A hug can make my whole day better. Renee hasn't hugged me in years, Charlie is always working and Emmett wouldn't touch me with a stick, let alone hug me.

"Alice, let go. You'll get lost in all her fat!" one of the guys shouts and I instantly let go of her, stepping back. She also lets go and turns to glare at whoever said that.

"How dare you say that?" she sneers, but I stop her by putting my hand on her small, fragile arm.

"Alice, please leave it. I have to get to English anyway." I give her a smile to let her think I am okay. I'm not.

"No, I will not le-" I cut her off.

"Alice," I simply say. She nods and stops talking, but she still glares at the big group of people. I see Ben and Angela looking anywhere but towards us. They don't agree with what the rest do, but they need them to get through school. I understand. Jasper, Alice's boyfriend and 'soul-mate' - her words, not mine - comes forward, taking Alice's hand. I smile shyly at him and he smiles back.

I turn around and go the other way, my locker looking less appealing. I don't even get a few steps away before the chanting starts.

"Boing! Boing! Boing!" they all cheer together. They started to sing that when I walked years ago. When I asked Alice why, she reluctantly said it was because my clothes bounce as I walk. I know it's because whole body bounces when I walk. She hates telling me what they say, but I want to know. Of course, she didn't say it like that, but I knew what she meant. It's bitter sweet. I hate the way it hurts, but I want more. I want to know all of my bad points so I can try and make them better, not that I ever could.

I sigh in relief when I arrive in English and the teacher is already there. I love English, it's my favorite subject. It used to be Math, but I just don't get it anymore. I scurry to my seat in the back, waiting for the class to begin. I choose to sit at the back, mainly because no-one can see me here without difficulty.

The lesson drags. Most of the students blatantly stare at me; laughing to the person they were sitting next to. Every time I am called on in class, someone has something to say. The teacher just smiles at me, silently letting me know it was all lies. Of course it isn't, but I don't let it get to me too much.

I get up out of my seat at the end of class and walk towards the door, waiting for everyone else to leave. The teacher asks me if I'm okay just as I'm about to leave. I smile, and reassure him that I am fine. I get into the hall and let out a surprised squeal when I fine myself pushed up against the lockers. My books fall out of my hands and scatter all over the floor.

I slowly shut my eyes, letting myself get ready for what's to come.

"Hey, fatty," a low feminine voice sneers. Tanya. "I was wondering; how many people did you have to eat to get this fat?" she asks. Before I can stop her, she punches my stomach and I lose my breath, my eyes snapping open and filling with tears.

"Tee, you almost lost your hand then," Rosalie declares loudly. Laughter echoes around the empty hall, bouncing off the walls. Tears build in my eyes and I look over Tanya's shoulder and see everyone here.

Emmett is standing with Edward, Rosalie, Alice, Angela, and Jasper. Tyler is in the background with Mike, Eric, Ben, Paul, Jared, and Sam. Jessica and Lauren, Rosalie's followers, are off to the side, gossiping and taking pictures of me being held to the wall by Tanya.

Alice is being held back by Rosalie as she tries to get over to me. Emmett, Jasper, and Ben are all looking at the floor and Angela is standing with Alice, tears building in her eyes. The rest, however, are telling Tanya what to do. They are telling her nasty things that she should do to me. I silently beg Alice to stop screaming at them. She's begging them to stop while Rosalie laughs.

"I expect to see you at lunch time, usual place," Tanya whispers and I swallow hard, knowing what she means. With one last hit to my stomach, they all leave, their laughter still echoing off the walls.

**Thanks for reading. **

**Reviewers will get a preview of the next chapter. **

**I hope to update this story every Monday. So that's when the next chapter will be up. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	3. Chapter 2

**Thank you all for your reviews, favorites and alerts. it means so much when i know people like what i write. **

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a Fanfiction and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**Last time: **

_I got up out of my seat at the end of the lesson and took towards the door, waiting for everyone else to leave. The teacher asked me if I was okay before I left, and I smiled, reassuring him that I was fine. I got into the halls and let out a surprised squeal when I was pushed against the lockers. My books, knocked out of my hands, scattered all over the floor. _

_I slowly shut my eyes, letting myself get ready for what's to come. _

"_Hey fatty." A low feminine voice sneered. Tanya. "I was wondering, how many people did you have to eat to get this fat?" She asks. Before I can stop her, she punches my stomach and I lose my breath, my eyes snapping open and filling with tears. Laughter echo's around the empty halls, bouncing of the walls. Tears build in my eyes and I look over Tanya's shoulder, seeing everyone here. Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, Tanya, Jasper, Tyler, Mike, Eric, Ben, Paul, Jared, Alice, Sam, Jessica and Lauren._

_Alice is being held back by Rosalie as she tried to get over to me. Emmett, Jasper and Ben are all looking at the floor and Angela is stood with Alice, tear building in her eyes. The rest however, are telling Tanya what to do. They are telling her nasty things that she should do to me. I silently beg Alice to stop screaming at them. She's begging them to stop while Rosalie laughs. _

"_I expect to see you at lunch time, usual place." Tanya whispers and I swallow hard, knowing what she means. With one last hit to my stomach, they all leave, their laughter still bouncing of the walls. _

**Chapter two. **

**Now:**

I spent the rest of the day with my head down, trying to avoid everyone. Lunch came around far too quickly and there was a permanent feeling of unease in my stomach. I wanted to go home, but they all know where I live, I even live with one of them.

Classes were boring, but then again, I couldn't find them interesting if I wanted to. Alice was in my lesson third and she came over to me, tears in her eyes. She hugged me and told me how sorry she was, that she wanted to get to me. It broke my heart seeing her so sad, to see her in so much pain. I assured her that I am fine, trying to laugh of my pain to make her smile again. Of course, she saw right through me, telling me that I shouldn't ignore it and I should tell someone.

I ignored her. Everyone snickered as I passed by, laughing in my face. The sense of regret was great and I regretted coming into school at all. I could have faked an illness, convinced Renee to let me stay home. She would have too. She would be at work and I could have stayed in my room, listening to my music.

The lesson before lunch I shared with Ben and Jasper. Both people I would consider my friends, but I don't know them enough to trust them fully. I know neither of them would intentionally hurt me, but I don't want to let anyone else in. I let my parents and Emmett in, and only my parents haven't hurt me.

Alice forced herself in, not giving up and proving that she would be there for me. I lashed out at her at first, but she yelled at me, telling me that she hates the rest of them. The only reason she still sits with them is because of her boyfriend Jasper and her loyalty to her school. Her cheerleading skills are sought after. And also the fact she is Edward's sister.

When lunch finally came round, I swallow hard and got out of my seat. I almost went to the library, to hide there until biology. But I know if I did, it would be so much worse. I left the math block and walked over to the food block. On the third floor there is an old bathroom there that no-one uses anymore. No-one but Rosalie and her 'crew'.

When I got to the door, I held my head up high and knock on the door. It opened almost instantly and Tanya stood there, a smirk on her pretty face.

"Nice of you to join us." Laughter floats out to me as Tanya steps out the way and I walk in, my head still held high.

~/3~

Sitting in front of my vanity mirror, I press the small bag of peas to my eye and wipe at the blood on my chin with a piece of tissue, wincing as I do. Today was worse than normal. Usually it's just nasty words and a few blows. They went all out today.

Hot, salty tears stream down my checks, going into the small cuts and making them all sting. The pain all over my body throbs, the blood licking behind every single bruise. The pain is good; it makes the stabbing in my heart stop for a while. Everything they said floats around my head, making me slightly dizzy. The rusty smell of blood doesn't help that either.

I left straight after lunch, not being able to stay in school any longer. The cold wind blew against me on the way home and it helped dull the pain. I know I will get in trouble for skipping the last part of school, but I can't find it in me to care anymore. Renee and Charlie can do what they like.

Moving away from the mirror, I get up and go out of my room, down to the living room. I sit on the settee with my knees to my chest and let my head rest on them with my back to the door. The pain killers I took start to kick in and I find myself drifting off into black.

_A young female with long brown hair runs around a garden as an equally as young brown-haired boy chases after her. The girl squeals and giggles and the young boy make's zooming noises, his arms stretched out as if he were a plane. Soon, the young boy catches up to the girl and taps her on the arm, yelling out that he caught her. The little girl sticks out her bottom lip, declaring that he isn't fair. _

_The little boy, taking in the young girls appearance, feels his resolve crumbling. He tells the little girl that she can have one more chance and a large smile dominates her face and she takes off again. He counts to five then thunders after her, making the same noises again. _

_A woman comes out of the house attached to the garden, a mixture of both the children in her. She's very beautiful, with creamy skin and deep brown hair. Her hazel eyes sparkle with pride and amazement as she watches the two children. _

_The little girl stops running and looks at the woman, a big, toothy grin on her face as she waves up at her. The woman waves back, letting her own smile widen. The young boy, excited due to his game, doesn't see that the young girl has stopped running and he barrels towards her. _

_Before it can be stopped, the young boy runs into the young girl, both of them falling to the floor with a thud. The boy, stunned at what had happened doesn't move to get of the much smaller girl. She, however, lets out a loud wail. She can smell blood and her young stomach churns. _

_The woman runs over to both children, fear clenching at her chest. She knows that no real damage has been done, but she still needs to make sure for herself that both children haven't been harmed to badly. Once she reaches the tangled children, she lifts the young boy off of the girl. After, she goes to the girl. _

_The young girl sniffles, trying to keep her tears at bay. She feels silly that she cried in the first place, but her knee throbs. The woman sits next to the young girl on the floor, pulling her onto her lap. She looks all over the young girl, inspecting her for any damage. When she sees the young girls knee, she sees a small scrape across it, but nothing to serious. _

"_It's just a small scrap baby." The woman coo's to the young girl. _

_The young boy, seeing the little girl so upset, feels really bad. His chest constricts and a few tears build in his own eyes. The girl sees his tears and puts her arms out, wanting the little boy to come and give her a hug. He does just that, falling into her little arms and embracing her back. _

"_I'm sorry Belly bear." He whispers timidly. _

"_Don't worry, Emmy. It doesn't hurt that bad." She smiles and he smiles back. _

_An older version of the little girl before stands in the middle of a kitchen. An older version of the boy stands in front of her. His face is red and he looks angry. The girl is watching him with tears streaming down her cheeks. Her face is painted with pain and she looks older than her years. She has grown in size, in weight as well as height. Broken sobs escape her as she looks into the boys face. _

"_Your evil. You know that? You drove one of my friends out of this town!" His voice has deepened and gotten louder. The girl whimpers. _

"_I didn't do anything! He tried to force me to kiss him and when I refused he beat me up Emmett!" She argues. He looks livid, ready to strike anything that gets in his way. _

"_Stop lying Isabella. It's all you seem to do anymore!" His face was contorted. He was beyond livid now. Her heart was hammering in her chest. She had never been more scared of her brother in her whole life. _

"_I'm not lying. Why wont you believe me?" Her voice was bordering hysterical. He could sense it too and his heart clenched. He doesn't want to feel this way. Feel the hate towards his sister. Some many people have told him stories about her that he knows aren't true. He cant help but begin to believe them. _

_His sweet innocent sister has change so much, right in front of his eyes. He has watched her grow and grow until she grew to much. He watched her eat her way through everything she could get too. He hated what she had done to herself, and in turn, what she had done to him. Everyone hated him because he was the 'fatty's' brother. Twin brother to be exact. He had to turn against his sister to protect his reputation. _

"_You know what? I am fed up with you being horrible to me, all the damn time! I have had it with the nasty comments and the horrible looks." Her raving began and she couldn't stop it. She needed to say this and it felt amazing to. "I know I'm fat. I know I am and I don't need you or you little friends to tell me, every fucking day._

"_You're my brother! Your suppose to protect me and look after me. Your suppose to beat the guy that breaks my heart, not beat me down with the nasty words you spit._

"_You know what? I hate you! I hate you so much that I hate myself for it. I shouldn't, but I do. I hate you Emmett." She screamed and ran out the room, leaving the boy alone with tears on his cheeks. _

I wake with a start, tears on my cheeks and sobs coming out of my throat. That wasn't a dream. When Emmett and I were younger, we would always play together. He would be my brother, my protector. He would always make me smile and laugh and make me feel better if I was having a horrible day.

That day that I told Emmett I hated him, was horrible. His face looked so pain when I screamed at him, but it felt god to let it all out. I felt lighter after I had told him all of that. The funny thing is, is his eyes gave away all of his pain, but his face stayed black. He was hiding everything behind the mask, like always.

"Dad's taken Mom out for the night. They said for you to order us pizza." A low voice sounds from the door way. I nod and wipe away my tears, biting my tongue to stop more from flowing. I swing my unsteady legs of the settee and stand up, pain flashing up my side. I put my hand to my rib, willing the pain to go away, just for a little while. I can cry in the shower later.

When I turn to leave the room, I see Emmett still stood there, his eyes roaming over my face. I look down, and stop walking, knowing I won't be able to fit past Emmett and the other side of the doorway.

"I'll order it in now. Do you want your normal?" I ask, my voice gruff from sleep and the tears I have just cried. He doesn't answer and I look up at him, wanting to see what could possibly be the matter with him.

His face looks pained and his bottom lip is between his teeth, a habit he picked up from me when we were children. His hazel eye, the same as our mothers, look lost, like he doesn't't know what to do. Like he's fighting a battle inside of himself. I drop my eyes again, not being able to watch Emmett like that any longer.

"What happened?" His voice is small, like when we were children. I shake my head, refusing to tell him. If I did, he might laugh; tell me it's my fault. He might join in with them next time.

"It doesn't matter." I shrug, still looking down, tears building.

"Yes it does!" He roars. I look up, shocked. "Isabella you need to tell me." He's still yelling and I sit on the settee, worried that he is going to take his anger out on me.

It goes silent for a few minutes, Emmett still fuming in the doorway and me playing with my hands in my lap. Why is he so upset about it all, all of a sudden? He has never cared about me, not for a long time anyway. Seeing this side of Emmett is horrible. It shows me that he does have a heart, but confuses me to no end. It shows me that he does care, but then I think back to everything that has happened to me a he has been part of it. All the nasty words and the horrible looks.

I wish we could all be like when we were kids. It didn't matter what you looked like or what your likes and Interests were. The only problem for anyone was what colour crayons they had. Nobody cared if their friends were going out or if they had brown hair instead of blonde.

I stand up again and walk over to Emmett, wincing the whole way. His eyes get wide and he looks apprehensive about what I am going to do.

"Excuse me." I whisper, looking him right in the eye. His eyes narrow and he stands his ground.

"Who did this to you?" His tone is cold. i got the feeling that he already knows, but just wants confirmation.

"No-one you know. Now please move." I don't let him reply and barge past him, going straight to my room.

It isn't until I get to the first step of the stairs that I register the pain. Barging past Emmett put pressure on all of my bruises, making them throb faster. A hiss leave my lips and I clutch the banister tightly, my head bowed. Taking in a deep breath, I lift my head again and take up the stair slowly, being careful of everything around me.

I sit on my bed slowly, making sure to keep everything where it is and so the pain doesn't lash out. I wonder if they broke anything. It wouldn't be the first time they broke a rib or two. When Emmett told them, in front of me i might add, they were surprised they could reach my ribs through all the fat. I can remember walking to the bathroom and breaking down. I missed that period, but I felt better after i had a cry.

While it was on my mind, I ordered Emmett's dinner. I didn't get anything, I would eat later. I was going to go down and tell Emmett I had ordered his dinner, but I couldn't be bothered. He would know when it showed up.

Getting of the bed, I walk to the bathroom and turn the shower on before locking the door. I strip off and open the cupboard, looking in the full length mirror Renee put in here. My whole right side is black and swollen. My left size is less bruised, but there is a few spots of a dark purple.

I ghost my fingers over each bruise, hardly touching my skin. It still hurts and tears spring to my eyes. I bite on my lip, trying to stop them, but I yelp when I bite the cut on my lip. I realise my lip and go into the shower. Slumping against the wall, I let the tears fall. the pain in my chest and all over my body is too much.

My heart feels like it has glass in it. It feels like someone is slowly removing the glass, only to put it back in again. More and more splinters off glass flare across my chest and I cant take it anymore. I don't want to be in pain anymore. Every word ever spoken from them to me runs through my head, taunting me of my problems and highlighting every wrong thing about me.

Falling onto the floor, I pull my legs up to my chest and just let the water roll over me. Dried blood from my cuts runs down the drain in a river of crimson, mixing with the water. I wish I could be like water. I could run away from all my problems, but then again, there wouldn't be any. Water is water. One drop of water is the same as another drop of water. It doesn't matter the size, at the end of the day, its just water.

**Thanks for reading. **

**Reviewers will get a preview of the next chapter. **

**Twi-girl09**

**X**


	4. Chapter 3

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. **

**I'm listening to '**_Paramore ~ The Only Exception__**'**_**. Check it out, amazing song :') **

**Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

_I ghost my fingers over each bruise, hardly touching my skin. It still hurts and tears spring to my eyes. I bite on my lip, trying to stop them, but I yelp when I bite the cut on my lip. I realise my lip and go into the shower. Slumping against the wall, I let the tears fall. The pain in my chest and all over my body is too much. _

_My heart feels like it has glass in it. It feels like someone is slowly removing the glass, only to put it back in again. More and more splinters off glass flare across my chest and I can't take it anymore. I don't want to be in pain anymore. Every word ever spoken from them to me runs through my head, taunting me of my problems and highlighting every wrong thing about me. _

_Falling onto the floor, I pull my legs up to my chest and just let the water roll over me. Dried blood from my cuts runs down the drain in a river of crimson, mixing with the water. I wish I could be like water. I could run away from all my problems, but then again, there wouldn't be any. Water is water. One drop of water is the same as another drop of water. It doesn't matter the size, at the end of the day, it's just water. _

**Chapter three. **

**Now:**

I didn't go to the school the next day, or the day after. My whole body screamed at me every time I moved, so I chose to just stay in bed. Renee didn't bother me and I stayed locked away, in my own safe place. I could hear Emmett and his friends in the house both days, but I stayed silent.

The bruising on my side is getting darker and darker as the days come. The swelling has also gotten worse. I worried something may be broken, but I will get over it. What can i do anyway? It isn't like I am thin enough for an x-ray. My fat will get in the way.

Today is Saturday. Emmett left hours ago and Charlie is fishing. I could hear Renee in the kitchen and her music blaring through the house, along with her really bad singing. I was going to go down and see her, but I couldn't be bothered. If she wanted to see me, she knows where I am. Where I always am.

Around three, the smell of freshly made bread fills the house. My stomach growls loudly, not being fed in a few days. I bury my head into my pillow, but I can still smell it. I huff and swing my legs off the bed, gasping and standing up fast. Band-Aid approach. I climbed down the stairs slowly and limp to the kitchen.

When Renee first saw me after my 'accident', she cried for hours. I held her and let a few tears fall myself. I didn't tell her what happened, but she knew straight away. She blamed herself. She even begged me for her forgiveness. I told her not to be so stupid and rolled my eyes, but I would never blame her for the way I am.

She warned me. She told me that if I ate snacks all the time, I would get fat. I didn't believe her. I laughed and had another chocolate bar, or packet of crisp. I kept snacking and snacking until I couldn't stop anymore. She cried and told me she should have stopped me snacking. She should have used less fat in foods and introduced us to fruit earlier. She cried that she should have given me water not fizzy drinks or juice.

Charlie wanted me to press charges; he said I shouldn't have to put up with that. He also wanted me to go the hospital, just to be checked. I nearly agreed until Emmett walked in the room. He glared at me and I quickly begged Charlie to let it go. He did and I scurried to my room. I haven't been out since.

When I got to the kitchen, I was gasping from the pain and I leaned against the table, my palms flat on it. Renee's brows furrowed and she bit her lip. The tears built in her eyes and I felt so horrible, I should have stayed upstairs until she was in bed.

"I'll make you some food. Sit down and rest, you're hurt." She mumbles. I nod and flop onto a chair, closing my eyes. I hear her float around the kitchen, making food and getting a glass of water. I open my eyes and thank her when she puts the food in front of me.

I eat slowly, picking at the sandwich and drinking the glass of water. Renee watches me the whole time, eating her own sandwich. I finish and stand up, putting my dishes in the sink.

"I'm going back upstairs. Thanks for the food." She nods and I turn to go. I limp to the stair banister and grab on to it, holding my side and wincing, just by the front door when it opens. My eyes snap up and I see Emmett and all of his friends standing in the doorway.

Alice rushes forward and comes to my side, asking questions and demanding to know what happened to me.

"Yeah, Isabella. Who messed up your pretty little face?" Rosalie coo's. Everyone laughs and Emmett just looks from me to her in confusion. I ignore her comment and shrug Alice off, going up the stairs one step at a time. I bite my lip the whole time, keeping the tears away. I can feel them all watching still and I can hear there whispered laughs. I round the corner and break down.

My tears stream and I slip to the floor. I hold my side tightly and the pain flares. I clutch it tighter and tighter, trying to make their horrible words go away, trying to make the pain in my chest go away. I cry silently to myself, wanting nothing more than a hug, nothing more than a friend.

"Oh, Isabella." I look up and see Alice stood there, Angela by her side. I look away again, trying to wipe the tears away and to stop crying.

"What are you doing up here?" I ask after a minute. Emmett and everyone else are still downstairs, so why are they up here, with me?

"Who did this to you? You look a mess and I know you're in pain." I shake my head at her comment. I don't want anyone's pity.

"I'm fine Alice, really. I'm just being silly." I try to laugh, to make it more convincing, but it comes out strangled. Pained.

"Let's get you up." Before I can even refuse, they are both lifting me up off the floor. I yelp in pain, but get up anyway. I feel so sorry for the both of them, lifting the whale without a crane must be so hard for them.

Both of them apologize and I wave them off, telling them I'm going up to my room. After I thank them, I go up the stairs and stand in the middle of my room. It isn't a mess, but it isn't tidy either. I like to have my things organized, but not put away, if that makes any sense what so ever.

Hours passed and I just lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Alice came up a while ago, but she couldn't get in because I had locked my door. She begged me to let her in but I ignored it, putting in my head phones and turning my IPod up high, drowning in my tears and the loud beats of _Paramore_.

-/3-

Monday came too quickly for my liking. I could feel my heart in my throat and feel the damp on my palms. To say I was dreading going back would be an understatement. Plus, I still hurt.

I slowly made my way through my morning routine, thinking of ways to make the day speed up and get it over with, but also make it go slowly so I don't have to go for a long time. I washed my hair slowly and ate as little as possible in a small amount of time. Emmett got ready and went, leaving me to walk. I was going to wait till the last minute to leave, but Renee ushered me out the door, reminding me that I can't be late after having a few days off.

I grumbled at her and left. The sun was shining through the clouds and the heat felt nice on my exposed skin. I regretted wearing a long sleeved shirt and track pants now. Although, I would never wear anything less to school anyway. Less fat on show the better.

As per usual, cars honked and people yelled the whole way to school. It normally takes me a while to get to school, but today, it seemed that I arrived long before I normally would. It felt like I had just left my house and the school is just down the road, or right outside. Mocking me.

The lot was basically empty and the warning bell signaled just as I got in the school gates. I wanted to jump for joy, but I could feel eyes on me. Not wanting to make an even bigger fool of myself, I scurried to class, my head down and my arms wrapped around myself.

Lunch soon arrived and I was, thankfully, unharmed. For now. Alice spotted me in the halls as I was on my way to the lunch room and pulled me along with her, her chipper voice ringing in my ears. I smiled at her and nodded at what she was saying, but I could see all of her friends glaring at me. Their eyes bore into me, judging me, as normal.

"Alice. She hasn't had her lunch yet. She'll eat you!" Eric yelled and everyone in hearing range burst into hysterics. Alice glared at him, grabbing my hand and rubbing it in comfort. Well, I'm sure that's what she was trying to do. All I wanted was to go and find a hole big enough to crawl into.

"Shut the hell up, Eric. You're such a prick." Alice retorted.

"Alice. Please don't." I whisper and she looks over at me, her face angry but her eyes soft. I hate that she has to choose between me and her friends all the time. I just wish I could get rid of myself, or completely ignore her so she doesn't have to choose between me and everyone else. Why do I have to make everyone's lives so miserable? Why do I have to be me?

"No, Isabella. You don't deserve it. Nobody does, but especially not you." As she speaks, her face gets more and calmer.

"Come on Alice, you know that's not true." She tries to cut me off, but I continue. "I have somewhere to be anyway. Bye Alice." I take my hand from hers and walk away, hearing the familiar '_Boing, Boing, Boing._'

I arrive at the library and pull out my home made lunch. Renee always makes sure I have lunch, whereas Emmett buys his own. His friends don't think its '_cool_' to have a homemade lunch. We don't really have the money to have a school brought lunch, but Renee and Charlie pull together what they can for him. Their precious, little Emmett.

Don't get me wrong, I love my parents dearly. I think they are the only people I can truly trust with everything I have. Sure, we have our moments, but they are the best things in my life. I know they will never judge me because of the way I look.

Lunch finished and the end rest of the day went past in a blur. Alice caught me as I was leaving and asked me to go to Port Angeles with her this weekend. I agreed, not seeing why there would be a problem. Emmett and his guy friends are practicing for a football game Sunday and the girls all watch. Its Forks knowledge.

The walk home wasn't too bad. Most people just looked at me, but they didn't say anything. Even if they did, I didn't hear them because I had my headphones in, music up full blast.

I walk in the door to find the house empty. Both Renee and Charlie are working so I didn't expect anything less. Emmett would have gone out to get trashed, or whatever it is that him and his friends do. I don't see the point in getting drunk or high, or getting arrested. It's just something that makes you someone who you are not. Drugs make you freak out and alcohol makes you do things you regret.

But, sometimes, I just wish I could go out and get drunk, have a laugh with friends and feel like I belong. But, I know that will never happen.

Toeing off my shoes and taking off my coat, I go to the kitchen. After grabbing a glass of water and an apple, I sit in the living room, the television on some random program. Curling up on myself, I bite my tongue against the pain it causes. It's getting better and I am almost certain there are no brakes in my ribs. Well, I hope not anyway.

Renee comes home a little after six and starts dinner, telling me that Emmett rang and said he was staying at Edward Cullen's house tonight. I just nod and pretend to listen, but really, I wonder why Emmett is like he is. Is it because he friends with Edward and all of his friends? Is it because he hates me so much?

I just wish I could have my brother back. We have always been best friends, well we were anyway. Renee used to say that we would cry if the other was taken away as babies. They always made sure we were in the same room because we wouldn't stop crying otherwise.

Emmett used to laugh about it. He used to say he would still cry if I was taken away. Well, that was before he be-friended the wrong people. I was Emmett's shadow growing up. Where ever he went, I followed. It used to annoy Renee because Emmett would go out and I would go too without telling anyone. Of course, after a while, she knew where I was and didn't panic as much.

"What's up Isabella?" I look up to see my mother looking at me with concern.

"Nothing, Mom. I'm just thinking about the old days." I admit, shrugging it off like it's nothing, but really, it's not.

"Emmett still loves you, you know?" I shake my head because I know he doesn't. "He does, Isabella. He's just lost at the moment." I snort very unattractively at that comment.

"He doesn't Mom. Not anymore." I say the last part under my breath.

"Don't be so silly, of course he does. He's your brother and he has too." I roll my eyes at her. It makes her laugh and I smile along with her.

"If you say so." I say, trying to please her. I smile and she strokes my hair maternally.

"I do say so, and your mother knows best. Just give it time." I nod. She kisses my hair and goes back into the kitchen, singing loudly along with the low hum of the radio.

When I was a young child, Renee was always in the kitchen, baking cookies and singing loudly along with the radio. Sure, the cookies got burnt and her singing voice is far from good, but it's always been a part of my childhood.

When I asked her why she sings, she always said the same thing.

"_I sing, because I have something to sing about. Growing up, my life was dark and now I have a loving husband and two beautiful children. When you get married and have children, you'll have a reason to sing, even if the singing isn't that good." _

At seven, I didn't really understand her, I still don't, but I now have a better idea about what she means.

I guess I will have to wait until I get married and have children. As soon as the thought passes, I laugh out loud. Yeah, right. I, Isabella 'Fatty' Swan will never get married. If I want a husband, he will have to be blind and stupid.

Because I'm me. Because I'm unlovable.

**I have written the next few chapters already and if the reviews get to 26 (Random, even number :D) I will try and update sometime this week. If not, it's Monday. **

**Thanks for reading.**

**Reviewers will get a teaser of the next chapter. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	5. Chapter 4

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. **

**I want to send out a huge thank you to everyone for your reviews, favs and alerts. Also, an even bigger thank you to **FangMom **for her lovely (and long :D) review and her recommendation on **_**Twitter**_**. It means a lot to me when people tell me their own stories. It's truly an inspiration. Again, thank you to everyone. Enjoy!**

**Last time:**

_When I asked her why she sings, she always said the same thing._

"I sing, because I have something to sing about. Growing up, my life was dark and now I have a loving husband and two beautiful children. When you get married and have children, you'll have a reason to sing, even if the singing isn't that good."

_At seven, I didn't really understand her, I still don't, but I now have a better idea about what she means._

_I guess I will have to wait until I get married and have children. As soon as the thought passes, I laugh out loud. Yeah, right. I, Isabella 'Fatty' Swan will never get married. If I want a husband, he will have to be blind and stupid._

_Because I'm me. Because I'm unlovable._

**Chapter four.**

**Now:**

"So, what did you wanna do today?" I look away from the window and look towards Alice. She's smiling widely at me from her place on the bed. I shrug and look back out my window, watching the rain as it hit's the floor and bounces off again because of the force.

"What ever you want to do Alice." I sigh. I know what will come next. Shopping. Sure enough, she squeals and jump off the bed, running over to me and taking my hand.

"Lets go shopping! I found this really cute dress that will look perfect on you." I shake my head no, and turn to face her.

"No dresses, Mary." I state and she glares at me, hating her first name. If I'm being hones, I really like it. You don't know what you will get with a Mary. With Isabella, you expect a tan, skinny, beautiful Italian girl with legs that go on for miles. With a Mary, you could have a beautiful, young girl like Mary Alice or an older lady with greying hair and laughter lines. I wish I was a Mary. Life would be simple.

"Don't call me that." She huffs and drops my hand, making me smile a little.

"Sorry, Alice. but I mean it, no dresses." She rolls her eyes and grabs her bag, going out my bedroom. I follow after her, picking up my purse and phone and stuffing them in my pant pockets. I get down stairs and find Alice talking to Renee in the living room.

"Isabella, I don't want you home to late tonight, okay? We have to get up early tomorrow to see Emmett's game." Renee looks at me with a look that tells me not to argue. There's no point anyway. I know I am going to that game whether I like it or not.

"Okay mom." She smiles and kisses my cheek before Alice drags me out to her car. The ride there is full of Alice singing to the radio and playful banter going back and forth between the two of us. Her driving is mad. She just speeds and moves from lane to lane, taking over every car in front of her.

"Slow down Alice!" I beg, gripping on to the chair and biting my bottom lip. She just laughs and speeds up, making me yelp. She laughs some more, but slows down, making her driving a little more normal.

"Is this okay?" She coo's, a bright smile on her face. I nod and loosen my grip on the chair, flexing my fingers out. She chuckles some more

We drive for a little longer, before we pull into Port Angeles. The town is still a few minutes away, but at lest we made it here, alive. I can see Alice wanting to put her foot down, but I look over to her, begging her not to do it. She just sighs and carries on looking out the window.

"So, is there any guys you like?" I look over to her in shock. I think my jaw is sitting on top of my chest its open that wide. I just blink repeatedly at her in amazement. Is she serious? Is this some kind of joke? "Don't look at me like that Isabella. You can like guys." She rolls her eyes, but I don't change my facial expression.

"You can't be serious." I finally manage to stutter out. "No. No, there's no-one I like." She just shrugs and carries on driving. How can I like anyone? Even if I did, its not like they would me back.

I felt love with Richard. I know that no-one will believe me because we were still young, but I did love him. I don't think I was _in _love, but I loved him. He made me feel special when no-one else did. I know I meant nothing to him, nothing just like dirt on his shoe. Why pretend that he felt for me? If I believe he felt for me too, everything would be so much harder to deal with.

The only love I have ever seen is Renee and Charlie. They're jobs keep them away from each other for long hours, yet they still come home to each other every night, kiss each other on the cheek. If you talk to one of them about the other, their whole face lights up and you can see the love they have for each other.

I know Renee was big in her teen years and seeing her now makes me hope. Maybe I will be loved, like Charlie loves her, one day. Maybe I will get married and have children. Maybe I won't die a lonely virgin that does nothing but sit and stroke cats. Oh, who am I kidding?

I guess it will always just be me and my cats.

"We're here." I jump when I feel Alice put her hand on my arm. She takes it back and smiles sheepishly at me, making me feel bad.

"Okay. I'm sorry, I just wasn't expecting you to touch me." She nods and climbs out the car. I follow her lead and get out the car, shutting my door behind me.

"Where shall we go first then?" She asks, skipping over to me and putting her arm through mine.

"I don't know Mary Alice. You lead the way." She scowls at her name but drags me along anyway, surprising me. Who knew she was strong enough to pull me, the small car?

She drags me into the first shop she see's, throwing different items into a small basket I'm carrying for her. I watch with amusement as she wrestles with an older lady over a pink t-shirt. Its amazing to see Alice feel so strongly about something other than what people say to me.

I do love her for everything she does for me, but I wish she wouldn't put herself in my business so much. I wish I could stand up for myself and not let any of these people say spiteful things to me. I just want Mary Alice to be happy and although it hurts, I don't think she can be happy if she is friends with me.

She will always be judged when people look back at our school days. She will be known as the girl who befriended the fat girl out of pity. She will be thought of as a kind soul, but a stupid girl. Mary Alice is a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them. If I'm honest, she is the smartest person I know.

If I was a strong person, I would push Alice away, tell her that I don't like her. Sure, she will be hurt for a few days, but she will get over it. I'm sure she will be so much happier if she didn't have a burden like me following after her. If I was strong enough, I would leave this stupid town and give my family the life they deserve.

The only thing is, I'm not a strong person. I am a weak, selfish person. I keep around the people who show me a small kindness and I make them solve my problems for me. I'm selfish and I don't deserve any of the few nice things I get. If I had my own way, I would live in a small flat in the middle of nowhere, letting my parents believe that I am happy and healthy. I guess I'm just to weak to even do that.

"What's your size?" I look over at Alice as she browses through a rack of jeans.

"Pardon?" I choke out. Why does she want to know my size? Is she going to tell everyone and they will have some more evidence to tease me about?

"What's your size?" She asks again, her voice light and cheery.

"Why do you want to know?" I bite my bottom lip and wring my hands together, kicking an invisible rock with my shoe. I must look like a stupid, lost little girl. A _big_, little girl.

"I want to get you some jeans." She admits, pink colouring her cheeks.

"Why would you do that?" I stutter out. I never wear jeans. Jeans bulge out and show everyone the fat, only maximised by one-hundred. I am quiet content with my too big track pants and hoodie-jackets.

"Isabella." She starts, sighing my name softly. "If you dress better, people would know how truly beautiful you are and stop saying all these horrible things." My heart clenches painfully and tears pickle in my eyes. Is that what she really thinks? Does she want me to dress better so that she looks better? 'Look everyone, Alice made the fat girl look a little better, lets throw Alice a party'.

"If that's how you feel." I drop her basket on the floor and walk out the shop, feeling the tears now building in my eyes. I thought Alice liked me for who I was. I guess I was wrong. I truly though Alice was my friend because she wanted to be friends with me, not for how I dress.

I speed my walking up and go out the shopping centre, letting the cool air blow around my flushed face. I never thought I could ever be hurt because of Alice. Everything everyone else has said to me pales in comparison to what Alice just said. Or what she meant when she said it.

To anyone else, it may not seem like much, but I'm comfortable in the way I dress. The way I dress is the only thing I have. That and my hair. I dress the way I want to dress because it makes me feel I have power over something. I have the choice over how I dress and the way I style my hair. Yeah, I don't look fashionable, ever, but I feel comfortable.

I round a corner and find a small park with a wooden bench just inside the gate. I breath deeply and go into the park. Looking around, I think of all the things I missed as a child.

I never had my independence. I followed my brother everywhere and he was my only friend. I didn't have people I could talk to, other than him. If he wanted to do something, I would do it without a moments hesitation. I thought I could always rely on him.

I bite my lower lip, tasting the salty tears on it. I don't bother to wipe away the tears, there's no point. Its not like anyone can see me. Why would someone in their right mind be in a small park on the twenty-first of December in Port Angeles? Everyone else would be at home with their families, or buying last minute gifts.

The rain is beginning and the wind is cold. I have never been more thankful for my extra weight than right now. I'm naturally hotter than anyone else and I think I need the heat in this stupid weather.

Drop after drop of cool liquid lands on my flushed face, mixing with the tears. I have never really liked rain much, but right now, I thinks it's my favourite thing. The rain is hiding my tears. God, everyone must think I'm such a whiney little girl. They all must think I'm pathetic. I am. I know I am.

Sitting on the bench, I pull my huge legs to my chest and wrap my arms around them, crying into my knees. Why do I have to hurt so much? Why can't people except me for the way I look? Am I really that terrible to look at? What am I asking, of course I am.

I am a ugly person, inside and out. I am selfish, disgusting, unlovable.

"Excuse me, Miss? Are you okay?" I freeze when I hear that voice. Sure it sounds bored and there is a slight edge to it, but I would know that voice anywhere. Why is he here? Is he going to laugh about how pathetic I am with all his friends tomorrow? I'm sure Mary Alice will enjoy the laugh. After all, she dotes on her brother like I did on mine.

"I'm fine, please leave me alone." I whisper out, but I know he can hear me. He sighs and then sits on the bench next to me. I stiffen even more, but he doesn't do anything. Maybe he doesn't know it's me. Of course he does, it's not hard to miss all the fat. Only I could be this big.

"It doesn't look like your okay." He mutters and cigarette smoke surrounds me. Maybe he doesn't know its me. I slowly lift my head, trying to peak up at him with out giving myself away. He's looking just in front of him, his eyes intense as he glares at the swing set this bench faces.

I swallow hard looking at his profile. I can see why he's worshiped at school. He is beautiful, just like his friends. I flinch when he lifts the cigarette up to his lips and takes a deep pull of it, running his free hand through this wild hair. Even in the rain, he looks like he has just walked out a fashion magazine. The corner of his mouth lifts up as he exhales the smoke.

"See something you like?" He smirks cockily and I look away, blushing deeply. Great, something else for him to tease me about. I can see it now. Everyone will think I'm crushing on him when I'm far from it. I wipe my nose on the back of my hand, resting my forehead on my knees again.

"My sister is really upset you know. She didn't mean to hurt you." I snap my head up, looking at the side of his face again.

"So you do know who I am." I stutter quietly, from shock and from the fact he is talking to me like I am a normal human being.

"Of course I do. You're Emmett's little sister." His spits and his eyes meet mine as I quickly look away, over my other shoulder so he can't see my blush. Why am I even blushing? I shouldn't be embarrassed. If anything, I should be thankful to God. If anyone should be embarrassed, it should be him. Anyone could come past and see him sitting next to me on a bench. What would his friends think?

"It sure is cold out here tonight." I can hear his shiver as he speaks. I must have been sat here for about an hour now and the cold is finally seeping through all the extra weight. I nod in agreement, not sure if he can even see it. "Don't you have a jacket?" He asks, his voice bored again. I shake my head, still not sure if he can see. I didn't think I would need a jacket when I left this morning and just settled on my green hoodie. I thought I would be shopping all day with Alice and didn't think that we would be going outside for long periods of time.

More tears fall at the thought of Alice. Why am I so stupid? Of course she didn't mean any of the things she said to be hurtful. She is the only person who tries to make me feel like an equal and I just left her like she meant nothing to me. I'm so horrible.

A sob escapes as I run my hands over the top of my head, gripping my ponytail and pulling on it hard. The pain from my hair is nothing in comparison to everything else.

"Don't pull your hair like that." He scolds angrily and pulls my hands away from my hair by gripping my wrists. A jolt of electric runs from where he touched all round my body, warming my insides. I pull away the same time he does and he looks down at his hands in shock.

"Baby, who are you talking to?" I cringe at the whiney voice and try and hide my face again. "Oh." No such luck.

"Tanya." He greets her.

"Why are you sat next to her? She might eat you, or worse, squish you." She laughs. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut, begging the tears to not fall. I can cry later. Come on, Isabella. You can hold on for a while longer. His smooth chuckle is enough to make the tears fall. Of course, why would he want to talk to me? I'm nothing but a joke to him.

"Don't worry, Tee. I'm coming." He stands and I can see his shoes as he turns, now facing me. "I'll see you around." He whispers, too low for Tanya to hear. I nod and secretly wipe my face with the back of my hand.

"Come _on,_ Edward." She whines and he sighs. I hear their footsteps as they leave that park.

Well, that was confusing.

**I am sorry for any mistakes or miss spelt words in this. I don't have a BETA and I don't always have the time to read over everything. As i reached the review goal I asked for, this chapter is early. There WILL be another update on Monday, so keep watch. I also have Twitter. will you follow me if you do, too? The link is on my profile :) **

**Bella may seem super 'emo' in this chapter, but she has been through a lot. Give her time, you never know. **

**Reviewers will get a preview of the next chapter.**

**Can we try and get to at least 35 reviews by Monday?**

**Thank you all for reading and please review. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	6. Chapter 5

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a Fanfiction and there will be fiction in the story. **

**Last time:**

_"Why are you sat next to her? She might eat you, or worse, squish you." She laughs. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut, begging the tears to not fall. I can cry later. Come on, Isabella. You can hold on for a while longer. His smooth chuckle is enough to make the tears fall. Of course, why would he want to talk to me? I'm nothing but a joke to him. _

_"Don't worry, Tee. I'm coming." He stands and I can see his shoes as he turns, now facing me. "I'll see you around." He whispers, too low for Tanya to hear. I nod and secretly wipe my face with the back of my hand. _

_"Come on, Edward." She whines and he sighs. I hear their footsteps as they leave that park. _

_Well, that was confusing. _

**Chapter five.**

**Now:**

The rain begins to fall too hard and I call Renee, not sure if Alice would even be in Port Angeles still or if she would give me a ride. I had been horrible to her. I wouldn't be surprised if she never spoke to me again. To be honest, I wouldn't blame her.

Renee doesn't ask what happened when I climb into the car, my face blotchy and my clothes completely drenched through. She does, however, tell me that she is always here if I need someone to talk to. I nod to let her know I hear her and continue shivering, turning the heat up full blast.

We get home around seven in the evening. Emmett is already in the living room, sleeping on the couch. I am both surprised and shocked to see him there. Usually, his Saturday nights are spent with his friends, getting drunk. But then again, Edward and Tanya were in the park with me a little over an hour ago.

"Come, sweetheart, I'll get you some food and you need to get out of these wet clothes." I nod and follow after her, letting her lead me up the stairs and into the bathroom. She tells me to take a warm shower and she will meet me in the kitchen with a hot tea and something to eat. With a kiss to my forehead, she leaves me in the bathroom.

After stripping my sopping clothes off and climbing into the shower, it all truly hits me. _The_ Edward Cullen spent his time with me, for no reason. Although he wasn't friendly, he wasn't horrible either. What was up with him? I can't help but feel this is all some kind of sick joke him and his friends have put together, that they are trying to lull me into a false sense of security just to hurt me more.

The thing is, would I let them do that to me? It nice to have someone to talk to, nice to have someone say nice things to you. It's only human to want people to like you. But I don't want to be liked. Well, I don't think I do, anyway. I have always been happy in my little bubble; the only person able to hurt you is yourself.

When Alice barged her way into my life, my bubble popped. Things people said started to affect me in a way they shouldn't. I started to listen to what people were saying, and I took it all to heart. Every single thing affected me in ways I hadn't before.

I know that I shouldn't listen to anything anyone says. The good old saying of sticks and stones and all, but the words do hurt. They tear away at you every day. Things people have said to me years ago, still float around my head, making it spin. The looks, the words. I would take a beating any day, just to stop the words.

Bruises and cuts on the skin heal. Sure, scars get left, but they are nothing compared to the scars and bruises on my heart, on my soul. You can cover a bruise, a little make-up, or a piece of clothing. But the scars inside, you can't get away from.

You hear on the news about people taking their own lives because things get to be too much for them. See pictures everywhere about a young person, another name added to the grave stones. You see people crying into the camera, begging for a reason as to why they have died. Most of the time, the reason is themselves.

Groups of teenagers push and push someone until they snap. And when they do snap, those people ask why it happened, when it was their doing all along. They say how great the person was and how they will miss them. When really, it's just their guilt eating away at them.

I have thought about taking my life before. It was a fleeting thought, but it scared the crap out of me. I know I would never be able to do, nor want to do it, no matter how bad my life is, but I did have the thought.

The first thing I did was call Alice. I told her about my stupid, stupid thought and cried down the phone to her. She cried with me, telling me lies about how beautiful I am and how she couldn't live without me. The next time I saw her in person, she grabbed me and refused to leave me side until I convinced her that I wasn't going to do anything stupid.

The water finally starts to get cold and I get out, towelling off and put on a big hoodie and some big track pants. I throw my hair up, not bothering with what I look like. I go down the stairs and, as promised, Renee is waiting for me with sweet tea and some toast.

I take it gratefully and sip the tea, nibbling on the toast in between sips. Renee watchs me closely, probably wondering what happened. It has calmed down a lot, but when she pulled up, my face was red and blotchy from crying and my eyes were swollen to twice their size.

"Sweetie, you will tell me if there is anything serious going on with you. Right?" I drag my eyes away from my now empty cup and look at Renee. Her hair is up in a simple bun and her big, brown eyes are glassy. Her bottom lip is in between her teeth, a habit she picked up from me. I nod and smile at her, hoping to stop her worrying.

"I'm fine, mom. Really." I hoped to sound cheery, but my voice breaks on my lie. Tears fall out of her eyes and tumbled down her cheeks, making me feel bad.

"I feel like I've failed with you.,"she wails and I stand, pulling her in for a hug. She grips me back fiercely and I bury my head in her shoulder, smiling slightly at warmth the hug offers. She cries on my shoulder, begging me to tell her what happened. I just whisper soothing words in her ear, hoping to calm her down.

After a few minutes, she pulls back and gives me a watery smile, looking so vulnerable.

"I love you. Okay? I love so much." I nod and give her my reply of 'I love you too'. When she is sure that I am, indeed, not going to tell what's wrong, she goes into the living room and wakes Emmett up, telling him to go to bed. I can hear some their muted conversation through the walls. He tells her he's going to work out for a while before bed and she agrees, telling him to pump up for the game tomorrow morning.

With a sigh, I push off from the wall where I am leaning and say goodnight to Renee. She gives her reply before putting on her television channel, getting engrossed in some vampire series. My mother sure is a teenage girl sometimes. I roll my eyes and go up the stairs, walking slowly.

I go to my bedroom and fall on to the bed, looking up at the white ceiling. Noticing the flashing of light on the ceiling, I look over to my bedside table and see my phone flashing with several texts and missed calls.

Looking through them, I notice they are all from Alice since I walked out of the shop. I read the text first - she is begging me to call her and says how sorry she is. My heart clenches. _Oh, Alice, you're better off without me_. When all the texts have been read, I call the voice mail on my phone.

"You have five new messages.," the robotic voice informs me.

"Isabella? Please call me back. I didn't mean anything I said and I am so sorry.," Alice's voice sobs through the phone at me. "Please?" The message cuts off with her last sob. I try to swallow the lump in my throat and delete the message, moving onto the next one.

All of the messages are basically the same, Alice begging me to call her and the sound of crying. By the end of them, I'm crying myself. _Why do I have to hurt everyone I love?_ I am such a horrible person.

I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I know, Renee's running her fingers through my hair, asking me to wake up. I frown at the clock when I see it's only nine in the morning, but then I remember today is Emmett's big game.

I get up slowly, taking my time to dress and do my hair. I decided not to shower, seeing as I had one last night. It's not like we are going anywhere important, anyway. After a small spray of perfume, I go down to the kitchen and see both Charlie and Renee eating breakfast and talking quietly.

"Good morning.," I mutter, walking to the fridge and taking out a bottle of water.

"Good morning, hon,." Renee replies, handing me an apple. Trust her to know I was going to skip breakfast. I take it with a roll of my eyes and bite into it, the juices running into my mouth.

"Did you sleep well?" Charlie asks around a bagel. I nod, knowing they are just waiting for me now to leave.

"Can we leave now?" Emmett asks, irritated, as he storms into the kitchen. Charlie and Renee nod and get up, clearing away the mess from breakfast. I eat my apple slowly, savoring the sweet taste. I can see Emmett glaring at me from the corner of my eye but I just ignore him, eating away.

Charlie and Emmett leave and I follow behind them, letting Renee lock up when she leaves. Charlie gets in the driver's side and Emmett slides into the back. I go to climb in shot-gun, but Charlie tells me to get in the back. With a sigh, I clamber in next to Emmett, thankful the middle seat is between us.

Renee slips in and grabs Charlie's hand after he has started the car. The ride to the football field isn't that long. They play every game at our school, so everyone knows where to go. Well, it's not like Forks is all that big, anyway.

When we arrive in the parking lot, it seems the whole of Forks is here to watch the big game. Today, the Spartans are against the Reservation's Wolves. Our team wins every time they play against each other, but the Wolves just don't give up.

We all file out the car and Emmett runs ahead to get ready. Renee and Charlie walk to the field hand-in-hand, stopping to talk to other couples along the way. I trail behind, my head down and one ear bud in. The loud tones of _Kings Of Leon _are almost soothing to me as I walk.

We take our seats as the cheerleaders start dancing in the middle of the field. I watch in disgust as they dance in little-to-nothing clothing. It isn't like I hate cheerleaders or anything; I just think these girls, yes girls, - not women, cheapen it by dancing like that. The way they're moving their bodies, it's like they should be at a club, not Fork's' only football field.

Finally, the game starts. Our team runs out onto the field and everyone erupts into cheers and whistles. I put my hood up and the other ear bud in, turning it up loud. The Wolves follow, looking intimidating, but also intimated when they look at our team.

It is a close game, but out team wins again with six more points than the other team. I can practically see the pride radiating off of Charlie and Renee as they hurry to meet Emmett on the field. I roll my eyes and stay seated, tapping my foot to the beat of the music in my ears. Closing my eyes, I lean back and just try and relax.

After about ten minutes, I feel something tapping me on my shoulder and I open my eyes, looking up to find Alice standing there with tears in her eyes. Her lips are moving and her brows are furrowed. A lump jumps to my throat, thinking about her messages last night and seeing her like this now.

I pull the buds from my ears and her eyes go to them, a confused look covering her face.

"Hey.," I whisper, putting my iPod away.

"Hey," she replies and sits down next to me, looking at the ground in front of us. "I thought you were ignoring me."

"What? Why?" I stutter out, following her lead and looking to the floor. The air around us is awkward, something I never thought could happen with Alice.

"Because I just stood there talking to you for ten minutes and you didn't respond.,"she whines, her voice shaky. I feel so bad right now. I want to take her in my arms and comfort her, but I don't think she would want me to do that. I really am a horrible, horrible, person.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you.," I admit, my voice thick.

"I know that." She pauses. "Now." The last word breaks on her lips and I see a tear slide down her cheek.

"I am so sorry, Mary Alice." I sigh, the prickle of tears in my eyes. "I over reacted and I shouldn't have. I just thought.…" She cuts me off before I have time to finish.

"No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so insensitive. God, I'm a horrible friend.," she cries and this time, I do take her in my arms. She clutches me back as she cries into my shoulder.

"You are not a horrible friend. You are the best friend anyone could ask for and I am lucky I had you as a friend.," I admit, a few tears falling down my cheeks.

"You still do,." she says, a tiny sniffle sound coming from her.

"Pardon?" She pulls away from me and wipes her face on a tissue she digs out her designer handbag. I thank her when she hands me one and I wipe my eyes.

"You still do have me as a friend, Isabella. I don't want us to fall out. You're the most beautiful, considerate, amazing and strong person I know and I want you to be my best friend again. So please, say you forgive me." Her voice is timid, yet strong at the same time.

"Alice, there is no reason for you too."

"Isabella. , say you forgive me,." she grits out. I want to laugh at her. She's like a puppy trying to be a lion. "Please. Please. Please. Please.," she whines. This time, I do laugh and she joins in with me.

"Okay, I forgive you. But, do you forgive me, too?" She nods and hugs me again. We both stand and she starts talking about everything and anything. I just nod and roll my eyes at her, smiling and laughing in all the right places. If it wasn't for the dry tears on both of our cheeks, nobody would have thought we ever fell out.

When we get to the field, Emmett is surrounded by all of his friends. They are all congratulating him on his amazing leading skills. I roll my eyes and keep walking.

"Hey, wait up!" We both turn and see Jasper running up to us, a smile on his face. He takes Alice into his arms and spins her around, placing kisses all over her face. She giggles and he lowers her to the ground again, finally kissing her lips. He's still in his football gear and covered in mud, but still manages to look like he walked out of a sports magazine.

"Hey, baby,." Alice coo's when they come up for air. I feel out of place, like I'm interrupting their moment. Maybe I should leave them to it.

"Hey, Isabella.," Jaspers calls, waving his hand in front of my face. I blink once and blush when he chuckles good heartedly.

"Hey. Great job on the game, by the way." He nods with a grin and puts his hand up for a hive-five. I roll my eyes but high-five him anyway.

"Oh, God. Jasper, don't touch it. You don't know what it's got,." Rosalie hisses, coming over with everyone following her. "Oh, wait! No-one would touch it for it to catch anything anyway." Everyone laughs, except Edward. I frown at him and he looks away, glaring at Rosalie and shaking his head.

"Rosalie, you're such a bitch.," he huffs and she nods, agreeing with him. Everyone looks at him like he has grown seven heads. To be honest, my face isn't much different from theirs.

"What's crawled up you ass, Dickward?" Yeah, what has gotten into him?

"Nothing.," he huffs and runs towards the changing room. Emmett and the rest of the guys follow him, chanting about showers and soap.

I can see Renee coming over her from the corner of my eye, and, apparently, so can Rosalie. She puts on a big smile and walks away, but not before glaring at me one last time.

After Alice and I say our goodbyes, I head back to the car with Renee. She tells me about how happy she is that Alice and I are talking again, and that she knew we would be good friends for a long time. I agree with her, knowing I won't be able to get rid of Alice for a long time now.

I get in the car and Charlie takes off. Emmett will be going to an after game party, as usual. Charlie talks about how amazing _his boy _was all the way home. How _his boy _stole the show and the only reason they won was because _his boy _is their captain. Renee does nothing but agree with him, saying how proud she is and how she has to cook _her son_ a big meal.

I try not to take notice and think back to what happened on the field. Why did Edward say that to her? Everyone knows it, but they never say anything to her. I know he's not scared of her, but still. Technically, by saying that, he was standing up for me. Why would he want to do that? It could damage his reputation.

Sure, he spoke to me last night; but that was because his sister was upset with me, wasn't it? Of course it was. Why would he want to talk to me? Why would anyone want to talk to me?

**Thank you all so much for your support with this story and all the lovely messages I get. Also, I now have a BETA. I want to thank them for doing this for me. So, thank you so much! **

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**Thanks for reading. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	7. Chapter 6

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. **

**Last time:**

_I get in the car and Charlie takes off. Emmett will be going to an after game party, as usual. Charlie talks about how amazing his boy was all the way home. How his boy stole the show and the only reason they won was because his boy is their captain. Renee does nothing but agree with him, saying how proud she is and how she has to cook her son a big meal. _

_I try not to take notice and think back to what happened on the field. Why did Edward say that to her? Everyone knows it, but they never say anything to her. I know he's not scared of her, but still. Technically, by saying that, he was standing up for me. Why would he want to do that? It could damage his reputation. _

_Sure, he spoke to me last night, but that was because his sister was upset with me. Wasn't it? Of course it was, why would he want to talk to me? Why would anyone want to talk to me? _

**Chapter six.**

**Now:**

"So, what are you doing today, Emmett honey?" Renee asks over a glass of orange juice. He shrugs and continues to shovel egg into his mouth. We're now on our Christmas break and I get the feeling Renee wants us out of the house so she can wrap our gifts.

"What about you, Isabella. Any plans?" I look up from my laptop and shake my head;, because truthfully, I was just going to stay in and do some drawing or something. "No plans with

Alice?" She nudges.

"No, Mom. I was just going to lock myself up in my room and do some more writing, maybe read a book or something." I sigh. She nods and sips her tea, looking between me and Emmett. Suddenly, Emmett's phone chimes and he opens it, reads the text and a smile spreads across his face.

"Mom, I'm going to Rose's in a bit. Edward's there and we're meeting the rest of the gang.," he states as he grabs his plate and dumps it in the sink.

"Okay, honey. Could you take Isabella with you? I want to do so things today, so I can't have you both here." My eyes widen and I can feel the blood leave my pale face. Even Emmett looks like someone just kicked his puppy. Luckily, I recover quickly.

"No, really, Mom. I can stay upstairs. He doesn't need me to be following him around, and you won't even know I'm here." I grab my things and pile them on top my laptop, about to take them with me upstairs.

"Yeah, she can stay here. I don't really want her to come with me, Mom." Renee gasps and glares at Emmett.

"I am sick of this." Renee's voice is loud and sharp and I jump at it. "Why can't you just get along? She used to follow you everywhere and you used to love every minute of it. What happen to that? You're twins,' for heaven's sake! Act like it." With that, she leaves the room, a sob leaving her throat.

I sigh and glance at Emmett, and see him looking at the table. Call it twin telepathy, but I can see the clogs turning in his head. He knows he's done something wrong and he's trying to see if he can please our mother again without having to talk to me. Good luck with that one, buddy.

I snort silently and leave the kitchen, heading for the stairs. Another day in my bedroom it is. I climb the first set of stairs and head to the second. I see that Emmett has left his gym room door open and I walk over to it, peering inside.

I haven't seen or been in this room since I offered for Emmett to have it. He wanted to get into football and, being the good sister I was, I offered my room to him in a heartbeat. He didn't want to take it, insisting that he could always catch the bus to Port Angeles and use their gym, since Forks is too small to even have a gym, but I wouldn't have it.

I cried for a full two hours until Emmett agreed to take my room. I miss it. I can remember the purple walls and the soft, cream carpet. It was my favourite place in the whole world. I wasn't as big back then, but I still got a few looks and nasty words. It didn't affect me back then because I had my brother to protect me, like he promised he always would.

I push the door open a little more and step into the room. The warm purple walls are gone, replaced by blinding white and the plush, cream carpet is now a dark wood. My furniture has been replaced by every workout machine known to man, including a bike and treadmill. Maybe I should spend some time in here, might help me lose all of this fat.

I sigh and turn around, leave the room, and shut the door behind me. Finally getting to my room, I sit on my bed and fire up my laptop again, open a new word document, and begin typing.

Writing has always been something of a passion of mine. Sure, no-one will _ever_ read what I write, but I do it anyway. It helps me release anything that has built up during the day, or week, or whatever. I don't have a certain time when I write, like every day, but I do write whenever I want to or when I have time.

I spent the whole day losing myself in the flowing words and the plot that would never happen in real life. When six rolls around, Renee comes up and tells me dinner is ready, so I eat with her then collapse into my bed, falling asleep almost instantly.

I wake to the sounds of loud music playing on the floor below me. Looking out the window, I can see that both Renee and Charlie have gone out, leaving me and Emmett in the house. I guess that's where the music is coming from.

I groan and roll over, facing the clock. Are you kidding me? It's only eight and it's not like we have school. I roll back onto my back and stare at the ceiling, looking at the patterns from the shadows. I can see some rays of sun shining through my closed curtains and I lay there for a while, thinking about the pros and cons of going for a walk.

With a sigh, I get up and walk to my wardrobe, grabbing my one and only tank top, that is actually the right size for me and a pair of leggings. I take them with me into the bathroom and strip off, climbing under the hot spray of our shower. I wash my hair and body quickly, shave everything, and then get out.

I towel off in the bathroom and get dressed in there, not willing to walk around the house in a towel. With a brother like Emmett, you never know who could be lurking about. When I'm done, I go back to my bedroom and dump my night clothes in there.

Deciding to leave my hair down to dry in the breeze, I grab a book and a blanket and go down to the back garden. Laying out the blanket, I sit on it and stare into the sky, watching the rare white, fluffy clouds drifting through the sky.

Usually, Forks is so dark and gloomy, highlighting my already bad life. However, about five days a year, we get a dry, sunny day. I love days like these, where I can just sit and feel the breeze flowing through my hair and the sun on my skin. It reminds me of when we went to Phoenix when I was younger. The whole holiday was amazing, and then we came back to Forks, back to reality.

Leaning back on my hands, I shut my eyes and shake my hair out behind me to blow in the wind. However, my eyes snap open when I hear someone clear their throat. My eyes snap over to the patio and my cheeks immediately go red. Oh my God. Why now? Why here when I'm dressed like this? I sit up straight and take the hair tie off my wrist, putting my hair up in a ponytail.

I feel very exposed right now. Instead of my normal two sizes too big clothes, I'm wearing clothes that hug my every curve; my every single roll of fat. I feel the prickle of tears building up in my eyes, begging to spill over. This is just great. He's going to call the rest of them out so they can snap a few pictures and blow them up. I can see it now, my picture all over the small town of Forks and littering the halls at school.

"I'm sorry to disturb you.," he starts. I blink a few times, trying to get the tears to go away. "I just wanted a smoke and I didn't want to smoke in your house." I look over again and sure enough, there's a lit cigarette in his hand. He brings it to his lips, taking a long pull. I have never wanted to be a cigarette so much in my life before.

My cheeks heat up again when I realise he just caught me staring at his lips. That and that thought I just had. Where did that come from? God, I am so stupid. Stupid and fat. I should be ashamed of myself, scaring and disgusting the poor boy. I am so revolting.

"It's okay. I shouldn't be out here anyway." I shrug. I don't know why I shouldn't, but for some reason, it feels like I'm intruding on _him. _

"Why not? It's your garden.," he states and I shrug again. An awkward silence fills the small, green garden and I feel the need to get away, yet at the same time, I don't want to. I want to be able to sit in my own garden and not feel uncomfortable. I want to be able to fall in love and feel loved back, if only for a second.

He continues to smoke his cigarette, then another one, and then another one after that. Chain smoking much? Why can't he just leave me alone? I don't think his eyes have left me since he came out here. What is he even looking at? I'm not that interesting. I huff out loud and look over to see him smirking at me.

"What?" I ask in a really small voice and curse myself for sounding so weak. He just shrugs in return and flicks his ash onto the floor, next to the butts from the other cigarettes he has already smoked.

"Just enjoying the sun. Is that a crime?" He chuckles and I frown.

"Why do you keep looking at me?" I finally ask. He just shrugs again. "Well, can you stop it? It's making me uncomfortable.," I mumble and his eyes go to his shoes. Breatheing a sigh of relief, I take the opportunity to wrap the blanket around myself.

"Ed, my man. Where the fuck are you?" Emmett booms and comes out. He stops when he sees Edward and me, in the same garden. "What's going on?" he asks, confusions laced all the way through this voice.

"I came out here for a smoke and Isabella was out here, so I smoked and she sat." Edward shrugs and I roll my eyes. What a stupid explanation.

"Oh. Sorry if she annoyed you, bro. She does that." I glared at him. I do that? What the hell. How would Emmett know? He doesn't even speak to me anymore.

"No, she was perfectly fine, actually. A real lady." I look to Edward in shock and he winks at me, making my face resemble the colour of a fire truck. What the hell? What have I done to deserve this torture?

"Are you sure? I can always make her go to her room, if you like.," Emmett presses, obviously trying to make me get the hint and leave. I roll my eyes.

"Oh, you can, can you?" I snort and Emmett turns to glare at me.

"I'm older than you, Isabella; and you will do as you're told!" he scolds and I sigh.

"Em, dude, calm the fuck down. I don't give a shit if she is here or not. It's her fucking house," Edward groans and storms into the house, flicking his cigarette on the floor before he leaves. Emmett trails behind him and the music in the house, which was turned off, goes back on again.

I exhale deeply and let the blanket down again, laying on it this time. The sun feels nice on my exposed skin and I smile up at the blue sky with my eyes shut. Everything seems so calm when you're on your own, enjoying the heat and the wind. I wish life was this simple. I wish I could always feel this calm and good all the time. Like they say, life's a bitch.

I must have fallen asleep because the sounds of laughter wakes me up. My skin breaks out in goose flesh, and my eyes snap open and over to the backdoor. Tears build in my eyes and spill over in a matter of seconds, making me feel like an idiot.

Everyone is standing there, laughing with their phones out and taking pictures. How long have they been stood there, watching me? I pull the blanket up and cover my body the best I can. Why here? Why now? A strange sense of déjà vu washes over me and I think back to when Edward had been the one standing there, silently smoking.

Why can't it just be him again? In fact, I bet he was the one who told them all I was out here. 'Hey everyone, let's go see a fatty roasting in the rare sun of Forks'. More tears spill as I get up, keeping the blanket around me. I keep my head lowered and just stand there, knowing I couldn't get past them all and into the house.

"You really shouldn't highlight your body like that." Rosalie starts, gesturing to my outfit. "It isn't…" She stops and looks like she is searching for the right word. "Flattering," she finishes and almost everyone agrees.

"Rosalie!" Alice hisses and comes forward, wrapping her arms around me. I just grip the blanket tighter, not moving my arms to hug her back. "Don't listen to her, she's a bitch. Come on," she pulls me into the house and I follow willingly.

"This one's going on _Facebook_!" Tanya giggles and people follow it with '_and this one'_, '_this one too' _or '_I got this one'_. My tears continue to fall as Alice drags me up both flights of stairs.

My head spins and I try not to fall over through my tears. Why can't I be beautiful? Why can't I be skinny like all the other girls in my school? Is it so bad to be slightly bigger than the rest of the people in my school? Okay, not slightly, but I'm not massive,; even I know that.

Alice sits me on my bed and I look at myself in the mirror. My ugly, brown eyes are filled with tears and red rimmed. My cheeks are flushed with my stupid blush and my hair is a mess because of the wind.

I drop the blanket and I can see all of my fat rolls because I'm sitting down. Poking one, my finger goes in slightly and my stomach churns. I poke it again and again, feeling everything on my stomach. It's like I'm seeing myself for the worthless, ugly creature I really am for the first time.

Alice watches me with tears streaming down her face and her hands over her mouth. Now she can really see how ugly and horrible I am. I wouldn't blame her if she moved away too, just like Richard did. He saw me for whom I really was and couldn't wait to get away from me. He got the first method of transport available out of here and didn't look back. I don't blame him; if I could, I run away from myself, too.

Before I can stop it, I'm hunched over my toilet, everything coming out of me. Alice rubs my back and holds my hair, just being here for me. A round of sobs rack my body and I slide to the floor, clutching my legs to me tightly.

"Don't let them get to you. You know they're lying, Isabella," Alice whispers soothingly and sits next to me on the floor. With that said, more tears spill out and my whole body shakes with the force of my sobs.

She's wrong. They aren't lying. Everything they have ever said is one hundred per cent true. I know it, and so does she. Oh, Mary Alice, why do you stick around? I wouldn't. You're just going to get hurt, I know you will. I can't let you get hurt. I won't let you.

**Thank you all for reading. I hope you have been enjoying this story so far, I have loved ~ and hated ~ writing it. I was wondering, would you like to see a different POV? I was originally going to keep this just a Bella POV story, but I'm interested in what you, my readers, want. So, leave a review with who you want to hear from and I will try and make it happen. **

**I'm sorry for the late update, but can we please try and get to 50 reviews? **

**Thanks to my BETA who makes this slightly readable LOL. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	8. Chapter 7

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. Not many people wanted to see a different POV, so I'm going to keep it a BPOV story, for now. I may change my mind, but I don't think I will. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

_Before I can stop it, I'm hunched over my toilet, everything coming out of me. Alice rubs my back and holds my hair, just being here for me. A round of sobs rack my body and I slide to the floor, clutching my legs to me tightly. _

"_Don't let them get to you. You know they're lying, Isabella," Alice whispers soothingly and sits next to me on the floor. With that said, more tears spill out and my whole body shakes with the force of my sobs. _

_She's wrong. They aren't lying. Everything they have ever said is one hundred per cent true. I know it, and so does she. Oh, Mary Alice, why do you stick around? I wouldn't. You're just going to get hurt, I know you will. I can't let you get hurt. I won't let you._

**Chapter seven.**

**Now:**

Walking down the stairs, I self consciously tug at my sleeves. Renee bought me this stupid dress and told me that I have to wear it. Why? I don't know. She knows I don't wear dresses, but she insisted any way.

Don't get me wrong, the dress really is beautiful; it's just not me. It falls to just above my knees and is midnight blue. It has long sleeves and a deep neckline, showing off more cleavage than I find comfortable. It hugs me, making me look bigger than I am, if that's even possible. I have paired it with dark tights and blue flats, which just about match the color of the dress.

I let go of my sleeves and I smooth out the dress. I take in a deep breath and go into the living room. Charlie is sitting on the recliner, a bottle of beer in one hand and a fishing book in the other. Renee is in the other chair, knitting away; knitting is her hobby of the week. Emmett is on the love seat, playing some stupid video game.

"Happy Christmas," Renee cheers when I get to the bottom of the stairs. Her whole face is alight with joy. She smiles when she sees me in the dress. "I knew that would look beautiful on you," she gushes. I blush.

"Merry Christmas, Mom."

She comes over and wraps her arms around me. I hug her back, letting myself feel the loving feeling a hug is supposed to offer. When she lets go, she kisses my cheek and sits back down. I move to sit on the floor by her feet, but Charlie grabs my hand before I can.

"You look beautiful," he grunts and I smile timidly. He isn't one for emotions; I was lucky to get that. I manage to sit down now and Renee strokes my head once before continuing with her knitting. I watch the screen and see Emmett killing a load of people.

What is it, exactly? How can anyone get enjoyment from making a tiny cartoon run around and kill people? If anyone asked me, I would say its sick; disgusting, even. People blame parents for the bad behavior of children, when they really should look at all the games the children play. If I even have children, they won't be playing a silly game like this.

I stop that thought there. What am I thinking? I'm never going to have children. I'm going to die a virgin. The fat beast is destined to live and die alone. I can't always live with my parents. Soon, I am going to have to go to college and get a degree, then move away and get a good job that pays well.

I will live in a small, one-bedroom flat with some cats, or maybe a dog. I could even get a fish. Of course, I will come back to Forks every few months, just to show my parents that I am still alive. I would stay with them for a few days and listen to them about how well Emmett did for himself. He, of course, would have become a football star and married Rosalie. They would have beautiful blonde children and live happily in England, or somewhere. Rosalie wouldn't want to stay in America. She would want to get away, enjoy her life to the fullest.

"Grandma Swan is coming over for dinner.," Charlie grunts, not looking up from his magazine. Ah, no wonder Renee made me wear a dress. I nod and continue to watch the screen.

"Let's do gifts!" My mother is practically bouncing as she goes to the tree and hands out gifts. I smile and open all the presents I'm given. Renee and Charlie bought me books, and I didn't get anything from Emmett, not that I expected to. I'm kind of glad he didn't get me anything this year, I already have the four other diet books he gave me the past few years and I don't have any more room for another one.

I give them all their gifts and Emmett is surprised when I hand him a gift. Renee gushes about how beautiful the top is that I gave her and Charlie looks happy with his fishing gear. I don't watch Emmett when he opens his gift, but I do hear the quiet 'thank you' when he pulls out his CD's. I know that he wanted those because every time the commercial for the CD's came on, he would hint to Renee and Charlie. Of course, it went over their heads, but I caught it.

We clear away the used wrapping paper and sit down again. I open one of the books Renee bought me and read the first few chapters, getting lost in it. This is the second in a series that I have gotten into. The books are really amazing and I can only hope to be able to write like this.

The door bell rings and I see Charlie look at me from the corner of his eyes. I guess I'm getting the door. I get up with a roll of my eyes and put on a smile, open the door, and look over my grandmother. The years haven't changed her much. Her dark hair is now striped with grey and her face has a few wrinkles, but she still looks younger than her years. Her dark eyes stare back at me, but they're colder than I remember.

"Hey, Grandma," I greet, holding open the door so she can get past.

"Hello, Isabella. You're bigger since I last saw you," she mutters, hanging her coat on the coat hook.

"We haven't seen you in a few years, I have gotten taller," I admit and shrug a little. My cheeks heat up and I look to her and see her eyes roaming over my body, no smile on her usually warm face.

"No, that's not it. You've gotten fat," she nods, proud of herself that she worked it out. My breath rushes out in shock and I look at her, wide eyed. Is she serious?

I swallow and close the door as she trots into the living room and plunks herself on the couch. The rest greet her and she is all smiles for them. The only person she is a little cold with is Renee, but there has always been some bitterness between the two of them.

I walk slowly into the living room and sit on the floor, just in front of my mother's feet, where I was before. I feel her hands running through my hair again and I smile.

"Isabella, will you help me with the dinner, please?" she whispers. I nod and stand, starting to follow Renee into the kitchen.

"Better make yours a salad." Grandma Swan smiles and pats my stomach as I walk past. I freeze, but then clear my throat and continue to the kitchen.

I help my mother by cutting vegetables and doing other things that she needs help with. Eventually, I set the table, putting myself opposite my grandmother. She and Renee don't get along, Emmett won't sit there, and Charlie is at the head of the table, so it leaves me.

Renee soon calls us all to dinner and I sit, sipping my water and smiling at my grandma as she watches me. All the amazing smells coming from the kitchen make my mouth water, and I dig in after Grandma has said grace and everyone has their dinner.

I try not to look up all through dinner, but I can feel the burn of my grandma's gaze as I eat.

"Why are you looking at her like that?" Renee hisses and I look up to see her staring at my Grandma. I glance at her and, sure enough, she looks disgusted.

"I told you, Charles," she mutters and sips her water.

"Yes, Mother." He sounds bored as he continues to eat, not even bothering to look up at her.

"You told him _what_?" The venom in my mother's voice is quite frightening, but I try not to think about it too much.

"That if he married you, he would have fat children. Just like our Isabella here." Her hand points to me and her voice leaves no room for arguing.

"Leave her alone, Marie. Isabella is fine," Renee hisses and Charlie finally looks up.

My appetite suddenly leaves me and I put my cutlery down. My own grandmother thinks that of me? I could deal with everyone at school thinking it, but not her. She's family. She isn't supposed to judge me and say hurtful things.

"It's your fault she's fat, Renee. I hope you know that. If she was my daughter, I would have had her on a diet years ago," Grandma states and Emmett snickers, still shoveling food into his mouth.

My heart sinks some more and I blink back tears. Oh, believe me, Grandma; I've tried every diet out there. They don't work.

"She would be skinny and beautiful and married to a young, rich man, if I had my way. You could come and live with me, Isabella, if you wanted to. We can shift some of this weight." She pats my hand over the table and I retract it like she burnt me.

"Excuse me." My voice is nothing but a squeak as I push away from the table and leave the room, my tears now falling. As soon as I know they can't see me anymore, I'm running. I run out of the house and down the street, not even sure of where I'm going.

I keep running, even though my breath is coming out in pants. The wind and the rain are making my ponytail swing and tangle, but I don't stop to sort it out. My heart and my head are pounding, but the wind feels refreshing on my flushed face.

Why do I always run away from my problems? I always do. I feel uncomfortable, even if only for a second and I run, like the coward I am. I run like the stupid, immature little girl everyone sees me as. I'm a runner, that's what I am.

A bitter laugh leaves my lips at the last thought. If I was a runner, I would be fit and healthy, not fat. Maybe I should take up running. Not outside, of course, I couldn't deal with people watching me run. I couldn't live with myself if everyone saw all of my fat bouncing around. But maybe, I could ask Emmett if I could use his treadmill. And if he doesn't let me use his, I could take the bus to Port Angeles three times a week. No-one I know would be there, so it would be safe.

I stop running and put my hands on my knees, taking in deep gulps of air. I _really _need to get fit. When I have somewhat caught my breath, I look up and groan when I realize where I am. Of course my body would bring me here. I stand up straight and walk towards the building.

Someone is inside, that much is clear; but who? The old building is dark with no lights except for a fire on the ground floor towards the back. The windows have long since gone and the grass in front of it has over grown and died. The inside is covered in dust and the whole scene gives of an eerie feeling.

I slowly walk towards the building, looking through the windows to see who could be inside. No-one sane goes to this place, as it is likely to fall down, ; but one group of people hang out here, Emmett and his friends. I know going in is completely moronic of me, but I don't care right now.

To be honest, I'm kind of hoping Rosalie and Tanya are in there. If they were to beat me up again, I could maybe pass out and forget about today, or feel the physical pain and not the emotional. I don't know, I just want something else to happen to me right now.

Thinking back, this is the place I used to come to meet Richard. Like I said, no-one sane would even think about coming here, so we knew we would have some privacy. Emmett and his friends found this place sometime last year and I couldn't face coming back here anyway.

I push the front door open and walk through the old hallways, taking everything in. If it wasn't for the dust and the obvious aging, this place would look like it's still being used. Old pictures still line the walls and the wooden flooring is still its dark mahogany under the dust.

"Hello?" A male voice slurs out and I look up to see Edward sitting there by the fire, with what looks like a joint between his lips and a bottle of beer on the floor by his feet.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't think anyone was here. I'll leave," I sniff out. I hadn't realized I was still crying until I taste the salty liquid on my tongue.

"Isabella? Is that you?" He stands up and sways over to me, taking the joint out of his lips. I can smell the foul scent of weed in the air, mixing with the smoke and the smell that is just plainly him.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'll leave," I repeat and turn to go.

"No, wait." I pause and turn slightly so I can see him out the corner of my eye. If he is going to attack, I want to see it happen, so I can prepare myself. "You can stay. If you like." As if to prove his point, he gestures for me to go over to the fire. I walk over and sit on one of the plastic crates that are lined up on the floor. He returns to where he was before, about three crates away from me.

We sit in silence for a while, but it isn't awkward. He continues to smoke and drink and I watch the flames, tears silently streaming down my cheeks. I don't wipe my tears away, not seeing why I should. Edward is so smashed he probably won't remember that I was even here.

I chance a glance over at him and he offers me the joint. I frown and shake my head, not seeing how drugs could possible help anything right now. If I were to take it, and he did remember, he would probably tell everyone I was a druggie. Right now, I couldn't care less. He can tell the world I have seventeen children and live in a crack house for all I care.

"What brings you out here?"

I look up from my lap and over into his red rimmed, emerald eyes. If I don't tell him, Emmett will. He will probably give all of them all the edited version, of course. I shrug and look away again, fiddling with my hands in my lap.

"Esme flipped out on me. She found my stash of weed. I snatched it back and ran away." He snorts and I finally wipe away the tears on my cheeks. It's pointless because they get replaced seconds later, but I know I did it. "I am burning the evidence as we speak." He laughs.

His laugh is amazing, like honey. I can feel it melting away all of my hurt and anger, making me feel normal again.

"My grandma told me how fat I was," I finally admit and his laughter stops. "I mean, it's not like I don't know. I see the same things that everyone else does. I look in the mirror everyday and feel nothing but disgust towards myself. I want to change, I really do, but I can't. I have tried everything legal, but nothing helps.

"I could jog everyday and nothing would change. I've starved myself and I thought I did well, but it didn't change the way I look. I have thought of everything, you know? I used to have dreams about cutting my stomach off and I wanted nothing more than to do just that. Get a knife and cut away all my problems. I wouldn't even go to the hospital; I would do it myself with a butcher's knife.

"I don't want to be like this. I don't want my grandma to be ashamed of me. I want to be like everyone else. I want to be beautiful, and I want guys to want me. I want to feel loved by someone other than my parents, and I want my brother to love me again."

I stop babbling and break down, tears coming out of my eyes in rivers and sobs leaving my lips. My whole body shakes and I clutch my face in my hands, wishing it would all end. My heart hurts, but it feels strangely good to let it all out to another person. Sure, I will regret it; but for right now, I feel better than I have in a long time.

I jump in shock and fall off the crate when I feel Edward's arm on my shoulder. My eyes look at him in fright, but he looks back at me, his face mirroring mine. Why would he be scared? He has nothing to be afraid of. Making sure I can still see him, he walks around the crate and sits next to me on the floor.

"I'm sorry, you know. I never wanted you to feel like this." He takes a swig out of his bottle and offers it to me. I surprise both him and myself when I take it and finish it in one go.

"Sorry." I blush, handing him back the empty bottle. He chuckles and shakes his head.

"It's okay. I have more." He points over to a box full of beer. I nod and he gets up, grabbing the box and bringing it back over to us. He hands me another one and I open it, thanking him before taking a swig.

My tears soon stop and I watch the fire, drinking the warm beer and enjoying the silence. Edward doesn't try and make conversation, but just watches the fire, much like myself.

"Merry Christmas, Isabella," he mutters, holding out his bottle. I clink my bottle with his.

"Merry Christmas, Edward."

**Thank you guys for my amazing reviews. They always make me smile, no matter my mood. **

**I have decided that I am changing my update day. Instead of Monday, I am just going to update when I can. I am sorry, but I don't always have a chapter ready by Mondays. **

**I have Twitter, the link is on my profile and I do follow backs. **

**Also, a huge thank you to my BETA, you are amazing. **

**Thanks for reading and please review?**

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	9. Chapter 8

Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a _Fanfiction _and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy!

Last time:

_**My tears soon stop and I watch the fire, drinking the warm beer and enjoying the silence. Edward doesn't try and make conversation, but just watches the fire, much like myself. **_

"_**Merry Christmas, Isabella," he mutters, holding out his bottle. I clink my bottle to his. **_

"_**Merry Christmas, Edward." **_

**Chapter eight.**

**Now:**

My feet feel unstable as I walk up the path towards my house. I giggle slightly and stop walking when I sway too far to one side. My head and chest feel light for the first time in a long time, and I'm really enjoying it.

The front door opens and I look up to see Emmett standing in the door way, looking at me in anger. I laugh lightly and stumble towards him. Curse my stupid clumsiness. I laugh loudly this time; I'm so funny sometimes.

Emmett cocks his brow when I stagger past him and into the house. Renee and Charlie are both standing behind Emmett with their arms crossed and angry looks on their faces. I chuckle at how alike they look right now.

"Where the hell have you been?" I roll my eyes and walk past them, trying to get to my bedroom. Renee grabs my arm and holds me in place. I grit my teeth and try not to breathe on her. If she smells the alcohol on my breath, she will kill me. Although, you have to be stupid to know I'm not drunk.

"Out," I mutter, not sure where this attitude has come from. Maybe the beers I had are making me go mad? I knew I shouldn't have drunk them, but they were there, and they tasted so good. Anyway, it's better than the joint he offered.

"Where's out, Isabella Marie Swan?" Charlie roars, coming over to me and Renee in the hallway. "You can't just run out whenever something gets tough."

"So, her calling me fat was perfectly fine?" I snap, getting out of Renee's hold and going into the kitchen.

"No, it wasn't. She's gone now because we told her to leave. We have been worried sick. It's after ten o'clock, for goodness sake," he continues, following me and watching intently as I grab a glass of water. I drain the glass quickly, then refill it and drink that too. The last thing I want right now is a hangover.

"Isabella, you haven't done anything you will regret, have you?" Renee whispers, coming over to stand next to me. I widen my eyes and try to look innocent, but I know I am completely failing right now.

"Like what, Mom? No-one would do anything with her anyway. She was probably just sitting down the road, crying like normal," Emmett huffs, sitting down at the kitchen table. Duh, stupid. I'm totally drunk. God, I'm a bitch when drunk.

"Emmett! How dare you talk about your sister like that? And she does have friends; that Alice girl is nice!" Renee snaps and I put my head in my hands. I wouldn't say I'm completely drunk, but I'm not that sober either. The room is spinning, but everyone still looks the same. I take my head from my hands and stumble out the kitchen, heading for the stairs.

"Have you been drinking?" Charlie's voice is higher than my mother's and I can imagine his face being a lovely purple colour.

"I only had a few beers. Breathe, Dad," I chuckle, turning to face three very shocked faces. Yeah, so I have never drank before, so what? I'm seventeen and I am perfectly capable of going out and having fun.

"Who got you the beer?" he fumes. I can practically see the anger radiating from him and I giggle a little. If he isn't careful, he will explode and I won't clean it up.

"I bumped into someone and he gave me some. Don't worry, he didn't take advantage," I tell both Charlie and Renee before turning to Emmett. "You know him well actually."

"Who?" Emmett growls, leaving no room for me not to tell him.

"Edward Cullen." I laugh and go to my bedroom.

Light streams through my open curtains and I groan, roll over, and bury my face in my pillow. Why did I leave my curtains open? Oh yeah, I was semi-drunk and forgot to shut them. My head pounds, but I know it could be worse than this. I'm thankful I remembered to drink water before I slept.

I can't actually believe I said all of that to Edward. Why did I even say it in the first place? I should have kept my mouth shut and left when I had the chance. I would be so grateful if he forgot everything I said to him. Emmett knows that I saw Edward last night, but I can't see him telling anyone about it.

I had fun last night, I realize with a smile. Sure, it wasn't a party or anything, but I did have fun. Edward made me forget about the nasty things Grandma Swan said, and I had a laugh. No wonder other teenagers like to go out with their friends.

I never thought I would experience something like that. Sure, it wasn't how I planned to spend my Christmas day, but it wasn't bad.

With a shaky huff, I roll out of bed and go to the bathroom. My reflection is the same as always- a too chubby face stares back at me; my some-what nice looking hair falling around my fat shoulders in messy waves of rich brown. My skin is slightly paler than normal, but that could be the alcohol I consumed.

I finish what I have to do in the bathroom and go back into my bedroom. I root through my dresser drawers, trying to find something to wear. Ok, so it's track pants, track pants, or track pants. With an eye roll, I pick up a pair of plain black track pants and a white vest top, along with a black hoodie.

I leave them on my bed and lock my bedroom door before going into the bathroom. I shower quickly and pile my hair on top of my head, tying it loosely with a band. I dress and unlock my bedroom door before going downstairs. The house is dead silent and when I get to the kitchen, only Renee is sitting in there, sipping coffee and reading the newspaper.

"Good morning," she greets me, her voice hard. I sigh and go over, wrapping my arms around her. I can feel her slowly melting and she puts her arms around me, hugging me back.

"I'm sorry, Mommy," I whisper. Her arms tighten around me.

"You really did worry us, Isabella. Then you come home drunk; I don't know what to think." I sigh again and pull away from her, looking her right in the eye.

"I am sorry. What she said hurt me. A lot. I should have dealt with it better and not left." She shakes her head.

"No, baby. You shouldn't have had to deal with that in your own home. I know you do everywhere else, but I want you to feel safe in this house." If only you knew, Mom.

I sit at the table and we both eat breakfast quietly, enjoying each other's company. It's times like this that make me realize that I really do need my mom. I love her with everything and I have and I don't know what I would do if I ever lost her.

Sure, I have Charlie and Emmett, but they don't understand what I'm going through. They don't even know what being a normal teenage girl is like, let alone one that goes through what I do on a daily basis. God, I hate being a girl sometimes.

Mom and I talk for a while about nothing really. For a long while now, we have both been too busy, or something has come up, and we haven't had the time to just sit and talk like this; I have missed this.

The front door slams and Emmett storms in, his face like thunder. I cringe at the sound and both Renee and I look up to see him coming this way. I turn back around and Renee smiles at me before standing up.

"Hey, honey. What's the matter?" she coos and Emmett shoots me a look. I'm shocked he's even acknowledging me.

"Nothing. I just went to see Edward." That explains the look. I wonder what Edward had to say to Emmett; or what Emmett had to say to Edward. I would have loved to see that conversation go down. Edward got innocent Isabella 'Fatty' Swan drunk. Emmett would not be very happy, even if he doesn't show it in front of me.

"What did he have to say for himself?" Renee growls. I look at her in shock. I know he gave me the beer, but I drank it. There is no reason for her to be that angry with him. God! Ever since he started talking to me, my life has been so much more complicated.

Why can't I still be the ugly, fat girl with one friend and a brother that hates me? Why can't I just go back to being the girl nobody notices? Why can't I be the girl that gets beaten up, but nobody asks me if I'm okay? Why can't I be the girl that takes every insult with a pinch of salt, like I used to? I want to be that girl again…

"Not much," he shrugs and takes out a beer. Renee glares at him, but he just smirks and takes it with him into the living room. Why can't I do that? If I had one of Charlie's beers, he would be furious!

Around two, the door bell rings. Emmett and Renee are in the living room watching television and I'm in the kitchen, reading the newspaper and drinking tea. I roll my eyes as I go to answer the door.

"Hel…" I stop instantly when I see Rosalie standing there, a glare on her pretty face.

"Don't talk to me," she sneers. "Where's Emmett?" I point to the living room and she barges past me, pushing me into the door. I gasp when the handle makes contact with my spine. Pain flares from the contact and I clutch it with my hand. I turn to see her smirk over her shoulder at me and disappear into the living room.

I shut the door and head back to the kitchen. Charlie isn't here today as he was called into work, but Renee is still home. I like it that she is still here, because then I'm not alone in the house with both Emmett and Rosalie.

I can hear them all talking and laughing in the living room as I return to the chair I just left. My back is still hurting and I frown as I touch the area that still hurts. It feels warm and when I pull my hand away, there are a few spots of blood. It doesn't feel too bad, just a scratch.

What the hell? She just comes in here and pushes me around? This is my home and she shouldn't be allowed to push me around like that.

Who am I kidding? I can't do anything about it. This is her world. This is the world of the skinny and the beautiful, and they get everything they want. The rich and the powerful get to rule over everything; people like me don't get to decide what happens to them.

**Sorry for this horrible, and short chapter. I have been having really bad migraines the last few days and I haven't been able to write. I have, however, have an EPOV outtake ready to be BETA'ed. I want to post it so you know what's going on in his head, but then again I don't. I might post it with an outtake title so you know not to read it if you don't want to, but I don't know yet. What do you think? **

**Anyways, sorry this took so long, like I said, migraine and slight writers block. **

**Thank you to my BETA, RuthPerk. **

**Thank you all for reading and please can we get to 70 reviews?**

**Twi-girl09**

**x **


	10. EPOV Outtake

**This is a one-shot I wrote to go with my story 'If age is a number, what's size?' It's EPOV of the Christmas Bella goes to Edward and get drunk. There will be lots and lots of swearing because, well, it's Edward. He may seem a little OOC, but I like to have my characters go against the norm. I hope you like this. Enjoy! **

**EPOV. **

Christmas day.

A day where families are supposed to sit around a fire in the living room and exchange gifts. Happy smiles should grace everyone's faces and Christmas music should be playing on the radio. Well, that's what's meant to happen.

Not in my fucking house. Nope. The Cullen house hold goes against tradition so much it's funny. We can't have an open fire because Carlisle boarded up the fireplace, fed up with me lighting my cigarettes from it. We don't smile, because really, what is there to smile about? Also, I smashed the radio, so Christmas music is out of the picture. Gotta love Christmas!

I could leave my bedroom, but I know what I will find. Alice will be in her bedroom, her music will be playing loudly, and she will be doing something with her stupid, shitty drawings. Carlisle works everyday for stupidly long fucking hours, so he won't be here, and Esme will be fucking crying, like always.

Lying back, I stare at the white ceiling with a cigarette between my lips. I can feel my body itching for a joint, or a pill, just to take the edge off of this shitty day, but I won't give in. Not yet anyway.

I'm in no way addicted to the drugs, but I like the feel they give my body. I like the feeling of being invincible and not having to worry about anything, other than coming down again.

If I was just to have a little something, it may take away the feeling of this stupid day. Why does everyone have to spend time with family on days like this? Why do shops have to shut so that people can 'spend time together'? If I had my way, I would be under Tanya right now. But no, she has to go out with her parents. Her mother likes my cock more than Tanya does.

I smirk at the thought and take another hit of my cigarette.

"Edward, can you come down stairs, please?" I hear Esme call out. I groan and put out my cigarette. What does she want?

I storm out of my bedroom and fly down the stairs, irritation written clearly on my face.

"What?" I snap, wanting nothing more than to go back up to my room. Esme and Alice stand in the kitchen. They both have a cup of tea in their hands and I can see another one on the counter, probably for me.

"I thought we could spend some time together," Esme mumbles, her eyes falling to the floor. I sigh and walk over, pick up the cup and sip from it. Both Alice's and Esme's eyes light up when I sit at the counter.

"What did you have planned?" I groan, knowing they have something up their sleeves.

"We're making dinner. I know that everyone isn't here, but we can still have fun, can't we?" Esme smiles, but I can still see the pain in her eyes.

"We sure can, Mom. What first?" Alice stands and floats around the kitchen. Esme tells us what to do and we follow her orders, working as a small team. Smiles grace both Esme's and Alice's faces and I can't help but like the fact they are happy. I can still remember when Christmas was a happy time in the Cullen mother-fucking household.

Carlisle would be home and refuse to work, and we would be the stereotypical family- giving gifts and just being a family. We would sing Christmas carols while I played the piano and it would be amazing, because we were a family. Then _**that **_happened and messed every-fucking-thing up.

"I just have to get something. I'll be right back." Alice and I nod as Esme scurries up the stairs.

"Thanks, Edward." Alice sighs, grating carrots. I cock an eye brow at her.

"What for?" I can hear the apprehension in my voice and she grins, looking over at me.

"For trying," she simply states and places a kiss on my cheek.

We carry on with our jobs and soon Esme joins us again. She stands in the doorway and we both turn to look at her. Her face is pale and she is looking at something in her hands. I look in her hand and my blood boils. Where the fuck did that come from?

"Where did you find that?" I growl, stalking towards her. She puts her hand behind her back and I glare at her.

"It was in your jeans pocket. What the hell are you doing with something like this?" she shrieks, her voice rising to stupid levels. I roll my eyes.

"It's just weed. Breathe." With this, her hand connects with my face, hard, and my head snaps to the side.

"How can you say that? Just weed? After everything that happened? Really, Edward?" she starts crying and my heart clenches. She's right;. I am a selfish prick. Her hand comes back in front of her and she holds it out in her hand. "Is this really worth it? Worth your family? Worth everything we have built up since," she pauses, clearing her throat, "then?." she finally finishes; her voice is calm again, but I can see how she really feels in her eyes. For fuck sakes!

I take the little bag out of her hand and push past her. She doesn't understand. Nobody does. I need to fucking forget; if only for a little while. I need to feel like a normal shitting person and not remember everything that happened.

I walk until I reach my destination. The whole way I had a spliff hanging from my lips, feeling the smoke work its magic through my body. I love this fucking stuff. I walk into the old house and head straight to our room.

Lighting the fire is easy and I sit on a crate, feeling the heat on my face, soaking through my clothes. Leaning down, I pull out the box of beer from the bottom of my crate and open one, drinking it quickly.

Soon, I hear the front door open and someone walking through the old hallways. I'm not sure if someone is really there or if this weed isn't what I normally buy, but I can hear footsteps. I look at the joint; it still smells and tastes the same. I don't fucking know.

"Hello?" I call out and I even I can hear my voice starting to slur. A girl looks up and I can faintly see her pale face and brown hair. Who the fuck is that? I put the joint back to my lips and take a hit, feeling it spread through my body.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't think anyone was here. I'll leave," the girl sniffs. She seems surprised. She is crying, but doesn't try to wipe the tears away.

"Isabella? Is that you?" I ask. My legs feel wobbly as I stand and I walk over to her, inspecting her closer. I take the joint away and hold it between my fingers.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'll leave." She turns to leave, but for some reason, I don't want her to.

"No, wait." I frown slightly. Why don't I want her to leave? I shouldn't want Isabella Fucking Swan to stay here with me. "You can you like," I finish, kind of surprised.

She turns and looks at me for a while, as if studying me. I wave my hand towards the crates in the centre of the room around the fire, silently telling her to sit the fuck down. I sway back to my crate, puffing on my spliff and swigging my beer.

I do truly love beer. No, I'm not a fucking alcoholic or a drug addict, but I am a prick. I know that. Not many people like beer, they just drink it because everyone else does; they follow the mother-fucking crowd. I however like beer. My ideal woman would like beer, too; but I have yet to meet a single girl that actually drinks the stuff and likes it.

Isabella is quiet, just staring into the fire. I can see her eyes flickering as tears flow down her cheeks. Why is she so upset? I hope it has nothing to do with anyone I know. Well, it can't be Tanya, she's on fucking holiday. Rosalie and Jasper don't leave the house Christmas day, and Emmett wouldn't say anything to her.

I see her look over at me and I immediately pull the spliff out for her. She shakes her head almost instantly and her eyes go hard. What is she thinking about? I shrug and take it to my own lips instead. I keep my eyes on her, trying to work her out. She looks down at her lap, tears still falling down her flushed cheeks.

"What brings you out here?" I ask, curious. How did she even find this place? Only a few people actually know this place exists. Sure, everyone knows we all have a 'place', but they don't know where it is.

She looks up from her lap and makes eye contact with me for the first time ever. I gasp. The amount of pain in her eyes is heart breaking. I can see all of her pain and suffering, and I swallow the lump in my throat. She finally shrugs and looks away, her hands moving around in her lap.

"Esme flipped out on me; she found my stash of weed. I snatched it back and ran away." I snort out a laugh. She wipes at her face, but it doesn't make a difference. I wish I had a tissue right now. "I am burning the evidence as we speak." I laugh again. I'm a funny guy.

She smiles slightly and my heart drops -in a good way, of course. I don't think I have ever seen her smile. Her face is always contorted whenever I speak to her. I think I like her smile, it lights up her whole face. I laugh out loud at my stupid thoughts. What the fuck am I thinking?

"My grandma told me how fat I was," she says and my laughter stops. What the hell? Is she shitting me? "I mean, it's not like I don't know. I see the same things that everyone else does. I look in the mirror everyday and feel nothing but disgust towards myself. I want to change, I really do, but I can't. I have tried everything legal, but nothing helps."

My head spins with what she is saying. How could she ever say something like that about herself? She shouldn't find herself disgusting, nobody should. But then again, that is all she has ever been told.

Every day I hear different people telling her how fat and ugly she is. I have myself once or twice. Usually, she laughs it off, like its nothing, but she has changed recently. She doesn't laugh anymore and she avoids everyone. Alice is upset most of the time because Isabella isn't talking to her.

Her grandmother sounds like a bitch. If she could really say that, she must be a mother-fucking whore! I can't actually believe she would say that Isabella is fat. Sure, she's bigger than most girls our age, but her family is supposed to love and support her, not bad mouth her. And to her face? God, what a cow. Even Emmett comforts her every day. I know he does, because he isn't someone to let his sister hurt.

"I could jog everyday and nothing would change. I've starved myself and I thought I did well, but it didn't change the way I look. I have thought of everything, you know? I used to have dreams about cutting my stomach off and I wanted nothing more than to do just that. Get a knife and cut away all my problems. I wouldn't even go to the hospital; I would do it myself with a butcher's knife."

My stomach rolls. What is she even saying? Her thoughts are seriously messed up. Cutting her own stomach off? Is she really that upset? That hurt and ashamed of herself? Does anyone else know of these thoughts? Question after question pops into my mind as I listen to her rant, but I just let her talk.

"I don't want to be like this. I don't want my grandma to be ashamed of me. I want to be like everyone else. I want to be beautiful, and I want guys to want me. I want to feel loved by someone other than my parents, and I want my brother to love me again."

What? Of course Emmett loves her! He may not show it at school, but he told me her goes home and comforts her. I know he does. If Alice was ever upset, I would be there for her without a second thought.

My mind drifts back to that day we found Isabella. We heard a girl screaming and loud male shouting coming from the girls' changing room, and we went in to see what was going on. Emmett went in first and blew up. When I got there, I realized why.

Isabella was on the floor, blood soaking the side of her shirt and all the skin visible turning an angry purple. She had her arms over her head as she curled up on her side, trying to protect herself. I saw how vulnerable she really was and I wanted to help her.

About ten different guys were all around her, spitting on her injured body and giving her a few kicks. She would cry out every time someone made contact, but I could see she was trying not to.

My heart truly went out to her on that day. Those guys weren't small, either. They were all on the football team and big built, like Emmett. Isabella sure took a beating.

All the guys left when Emmett exploded at them. He told Jasper and I to wait outside, so we left, thinking he would be a while. About a minute later, he was back with us and we came here and lit up a bong between the three of us.

He went home an hour later and we didn't see him for the rest of the day. I know he went home to look after his sister, so of course he loves her. She must just be confused and upset.

Her body shakes with sobs and she hides her face in her hands. Before I can stop myself, I wobble over to her and slide my arm around her shoulder. She flinches away in shock and lands on the floor. Her wide, frantic eyes meet mine. What did I just do? Why do I feel the need to look after her? I walk around the crate she was on and sit next to her, being careful not to touch her.

"I'm sorry, you know. I never wanted you to feel like this," I stutter and take a sip of the beer, trying to calm myself down. I offer it to her, and to my immense surprise, she takes it and finishes off the whole thing. She likes beer?

"Sorry." Her face turns bright red and I chuckle, shaking my head when she hands me back the empty bottle.

"It's okay. I have more." I point over to my crate where there is a box full of beer. I get up and see her nod. I pick up the box and bring it over, handing Isabella an open, full beer and take one out for myself. She thanks me quietly and takes a sip. Her face doesn't show disgust, but I don't know if she likes that taste or the fact it's alcohol.

She soon stops crying and I let her calm herself down. I can't help but think back to that day. The Isabella I see now is the same frightened little girl that was getting beat up. She needs support and friends around her, even if she doesn't know it herself.

"Merry Christmas, Isabella," I mutter, holding out my bottle for a toast. She puts the neck of her bottle to mine before taking a sip. I follow suit and down half of the beer.

"Merry Christmas, Edward," she replies, her face down and her voice quiet.

"What the fuck? You got my fucking sister drunk!" I flinch as a voice roars, officially waking me up. My head pounds and I gingerly lift my head off the pillow, trying to gauge how badly it will hurt. I hiss when the light hits my eyes and I bury my head back in the pillows.

"Oi! I'm fucking talking to you!" All of the air in my lungs leaves my body when I get punched in the back. I arch up and my head comes out of the cocoon I made, light hitting my raw eyes.

"What the fuck?" I wince, my head throbbing harder than before. I squint my eyes and look to see Emmett standing by my bed, his face red and his hands fisted.

"You got my mother-fucking sister drunk, man. What the hell?" He plops onto the side of my bed, making my stomach roll. Emmett, dude, I'm hung over. Stop with the loudness and the movement. I turn onto my back, thankful I didn't get naked last night.

"Dude, she turned up at the warehouse in a state, I wasn't just going to tell her to leave. I'm actually surprised she found out where the house was." I sigh, looking over at Emmett's bright red face.

"She just turned up at a place no-one knows about? I find that hard to believe," he scoffs. I sigh. How can I tell him this without him flipping out?

"I think she just stumbled upon it," I start slowly, my head spinning. "She walked in and I saw her, so I told her to stay. I didn't want her to be out walking the streets in the state she was in. You should have seen her, dude."

"I did see her. I was at the house before she left," he grunts.

"I told her to stay if she wanted, and she did. I can't remember much, but I do remember she told me how she feels. It was pretty deep, man." I chuckle, but it falls flat.

"I don't give a fuck; stay the hell away from her!" He stands and goes to the door before turning back. "You'd best see Newton and cancel what you started. You hadn't forgotten, had you?" I shake my head.

"No, I haven't forgotten." He nods and leaves the room, leaving me with my thoughts.

**Some of you wanted to see into Edward head, so here he is. I hope you enjoyed it because I doubt you will get to see it again for a long while. **

**Thank you again to my BETA, you are amazing. **

**Thank you all for reading and please review. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	11. Chapter 9

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. **

**Not many people reviewed the EPOV outtake, so I guess many people didn't read it. If you didn't, you didn't miss much. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

_What the hell? She just comes in here and pushes me around? This is my home and she shouldn't be allowed to push me around like that. _

_Who am I kidding? I can't do anything about it. This is her world. This is the world of the skinny and the beautiful, and they get everything they want. The rich and the powerful get to rule over everything; people like me don't get to decide what happens to them. _

**Chapter nine.**

**Now:**

I wonder what life would be like if I had friends, beauty, and the body of a supermodel. Would I be popular, or would I still be the same girl, lonely and afraid? No, I wouldn't be lonely. If I had looks, like Rosalie for example, people would follow me around. I know that. Popularity comes with beauty, and she has a lot of both.

I don't think I want to be popular; I just don't want to be me. I want to be somewhere in the middle. I want to be noticed for good reasons, not bad; and I want people to like me, not follow me around all the time.

If I was to leave, like leave the town and be gone forever, would anyone miss me, or know that I was even gone to begin with? What I want to hear is that, yes, they would miss me. People would ask each other where I went and people would cry because I was gone. But, in reality, I don't think anyone would miss me. I think they would even be grateful that I was gone. That way, I don't take up the whole hallway.

"Isabella. Why don't you join us?" I freeze as I hear my mother's voice call out to me. She wants me to go in there? With them? Right now? You have got to be kidding me! Why would I want to go and sit with Emmett and Rosalie? "Isabella?" I sigh and get up from the table.

I slowly walk to the living room and stand in the doorway. Rosalie and Emmett are cuddled up on the love seat and Renee is lying on the couch, leaving me with the recliner next to the happy couple. I sit hesitantly and Rosalie looks over to me, glaring slightly.

"So, baby. What are your plans for today?" Rosalie's acidic voice floats over to my ears, even though she whispers. I can feel her eyes on me even though she is talking to Emmett, and it sends a shiver down my spine.

"Edward said he would come over a bit later," Emmett grunts, his eyes still on the television.

"Yeah, what are we going to do?" she asks again, obviously getting bored of being so perfect.

"I dunno. What did you wanna do?" He sighs, finally looking away from the screen. I glance over to see Rosalie whispering in his ear and he smirks. "We can't. Edward will be here in a bit." I cringe at the thought of whatever she just said.

"But, baby. Please?" she whines and he finally nods. She smiles, showing off her brilliant, white teeth and stands. She takes his hand and they both practically run out the room and up the stairs. Renee doesn't even look in their direction. Although, I do think I hear her mutter 'teenagers' under her breath.

My eyes go to the screen and I watch some teenage girls shouting horrible things at another girl. The poor girl looks so scared and lonely, afraid of what is to come. My heart goes out to the poor girl. I know what it's like to be her, to be hated for no reason, to be afraid of everything when you should be enjoying life to the fullest.

The girls that were shouting chase after the poor, scared girl and they push her to the ground. She stays down covering her head and trying not to give up. She struggles to keep composed as the other girls kick and hit her. I can see that she wants to cry out, to beg them to stop but she doesn't. She takes it all.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see my mother look over at me. I just bite my lip and look down at my lap. Some people think that things like this just happens in films and books. Some people don't realize how real things like that are. They don't want to think it could ever happen to them.

"Isabella, are you okay?" I look up at my mother and put on a big smile, nodding.

"Sure. You okay?" She nods, but doesn't look convinced.

"Yeah. I'm going to start dinner." I smile at her as she leaves the room, her eyes still on me. As soon as she is gone, I let out a breath and look back to the television.

About ten minutes later, the doorbell rings. I listen to see if Renee is going to get it, but it doesn't sound that way. Her music is still playing loudly and her singing continues. I get up with a sigh and head to the door for the second time in the past hour. My back aches as I think about the contact it made with the door earlier.

I pull the door open and feel blood fill my face almost instantly. I stand as still as I can and wait for him to talk to me first.

"Is Emmett in?" His voice is scratchy and he has bags under his eyes. His copper hair is a mess, like always, and he just looks tired. I nod and stand back, letting him in. He looks at me and I step back a bit more. Wouldn't want to squish him now, would we?

He comes in and stands in the hall awkwardly. I shut the door and look down at my feet, waiting for him to move so I can get past him. When I realize he's waiting for me to say something, I blush.

"He's in his room with Rosalie," I stutter, silently cursing myself. He nods and cringes at the same time, making me want to laugh. I don't. "You could wait down here, if you like. I'll go upstairs so I don't bother you," I whisper.

My head goes back to last night and I wonder how much of it he can remember. Does he remember what I said to him? Does he remember the way I flinched back from him when he touched me? Do I want him to remember those things? If I'm being honest, I do want him to remember. I want him to know my hurt, even if it is just a little part of it. But, then again, I don't want him to know. He could use all of it against me and know where my weakness lies. He could tell everyone about my dark thoughts, and they would have yet more ammunition against me.

"You wouldn't bother me," he growls and I look up, flinching. His face is angry but when he sees my reaction, it softens slightly. "I mean, you don't have to go anywhere," he adds, shrugging. I nod. He goes into the living room and sits on the chair I was just in. I follow him silently and sit on the love seat, trying to put distance between us.

I sit with my back straight and I keep my eyes forward, not wanting to do anything to annoy him. My hands go into my lap and I wring them, trying to keep my mind straight. Why wouldn't he want me to go away? Anyone else would be happy if I left. If I disappeared, everyone would think all their Christmases had come at once.

"You suffering this morning?" I jump at his voice and keep looking forward, thinking Emmett or Rosalie must have come in and I didn't notice. He clears his throat and I still look forward, not wanting to be rude if he is talking to someone. "Isabella." I slowly look over to the floor at his feet, not wanting to look him the eye.

"No." I clear my throat, not liking how depressed I sound. "Are you?" I ask, knowing he could probably handle his alcohol better than I can.

"Yeah, I am. Your brother didn't help either." He chuckles and I stay silent, not knowing what to say to that. "You're really okay?" His voice sounds disbelieving and I nod. "Man. You can hold you liquor." He mutters the last part, but I still hear him.

I look forward again and bring my thumb to my mouth, chewing on the nail. I don't normally bite my nails, but I do in awkward or tense situations. It's something I picked up from Charlie, whereas the lip biting is from Renee. Everything else I do is purely me, I think. I don't know if any of my grandparents did weird little things and my parents don't have siblings, so it couldn't come from an aunt or uncle.

"Edward! Sorry, man. Rosie couldn't keep her hands off me," Emmett booms and I can faintly hear Renee tut. "How long you been here?"

"Not long," he replies.

"Okay, dude." He sits on a chair and pulls Rosalie onto his lap. "Isabella," he hisses and I look over. He makes a movement with his head meaning I should leave. Rosalie glares at me and I stand immediately, quickly walking out the room.

I shut the door behind me and head for the stairs, going to my room. On the way, I see Emmett's workout room again and I pause. He has friends over, would he know if I went in there? With an idea in mind, I go up to my room and get changed into a tracksuit, the only one I own that I could work out in. I grab my ipod and a bottle of water from my bedside table and I go down one floor, into Emmett's gym.

I look around at all of the equipment and my eyes land on the thing I came in here for, the treadmill. I put the buds into my ears, put my music on loud, and stand on the piece of equipment. Will it break under my weight? I know Emmett uses it, but he isn't as big as me and he is all muscle.

I put it on and start at a jog. After a while, I am running. The speed of the treadmill goes up and up, and my breath starts coming out in pants. My mind stops listening to the music and starts playing back everything everyone has ever said to me. Insult after insult surfaces and I push myself harder.

'Fat bitch'. 'Slag'. 'Whore'. 'No-one will ever love you'. 'Go die'.

Tears begin to stream down my cheeks, but I don't stop. I crank up the speed higher and smile at the sweat running all over my body. Sweat is good; if I sweat, I will lose weight. I could be pretty. I could be good enough for my brother to love me again. I could be good enough for Richard.

I need to be like everyone else. I need to be pretty and I need to be skinny. I need to be liked and I need to be normal. I need to be wanted and I need to keep running. I need to push myself or I won't get anywhere. I need to keep going, no matter how much I hurt. I need to be better. I need it.

I push and push until I can't breathe anymore. I pull the buds out of my ears and wipe the sweat from my forehead. Looking at the clock, I furrow my brows in confusion. I have been running for an hour and a half? It only felt like minutes. My body is alive with adrenaline and I guzzle the bottle of warm water, letting it slide down my throat.

I look towards the door, getting ready to leave when I see a flash of bronze. My whole body suddenly goes cold and a shiver runs down my spine. I quickly jog to the door and pull it open, looking out and down the stairs. I breathe a sigh of relief when I see no-one there.

Leaving the room, I shut the door behind me and go back to my bedroom. After grabbing a towel and some clean clothes, I go to the bathroom and start the hot water in the shower. I lock the door and peel off the sticky, sweaty clothes and take my hair out of the bun I put it in.

Under the water, I let my body relax and my tears come. My chest aches and my body aches. I want to sleep and I want to be better. I want to be enough for a guy and I want to feel pretty. I want the impossible.

The water soon turns cold and I get out and get dressed. My hair goes back into a bun and the loose bits go behind my ears. When I look somewhat okay, I go out the bathroom and downstairs. Emmett, Rosalie and Edward are still in the living room and Renee has now joined them.

"Isabella. You look flushed darling, come and sit down." I bite my lip and walking in, sitting on the floor by Renee's feet. She pats my head and I smile at her.

"This film is shit. Isn't there anything else on?" Emmett moans and Rosalie nods, agreeing with him. Renee tuts, but otherwise ignores him. "Mom, turn it over." he huffs and Renee glares at him.

"Emmett, shut up and stop showing off in front of your friends." She rolls her eyes and I hide a smile in my shoulder.

"Fuck off, Isabella. You don't even have friends!" His voice is raised and I flinch at the loud noise.

"Emmett, dude, don't be such a cock," Edward mutters. I just look down at the floor, trying not to take his words to heart.

"Who are you? You are not my son anymore. When you are yourself again, you can leave your room. For the time being, you're grounded!" Renee yells, standing up and towering over him.

"Don't be so dramatic, Mom," Emmett chuckles and Rosalie joins in.

"I am not, Emmett. Get to your room, you're grounded!" He huffs and stands up. Rosalie just sits there, not knowing what to do.

"Wait." Emmett stops and turns to glare at me. "It's okay, Mom. He's right. Please don't punish him. I'll go up to my room." I stand and leave the room before they can reply. I can hear Renee telling Emmett that he is still grounded.

I go up to my room and fall onto my bed. My ear buds go in and I close my eyes, listening to the music.

**Thank you for reading. It's not a very good or long chapter, but my life has been mad and I have nearly finished school, so I am having exams every week. **

**I hope you have all enjoyed this chapter and please review. **

**Thank you to my amazing Beta, RuthPerk. **

**Thanks for reading. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	12. Chapter 10

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

"_Emmett, shut up and stop showing off in front of your friends." She rolls her eyes and I hide a smile in my shoulder. _

"_Fuck off, Isabella. You don't even have friends!" His voice is raised and I flinch at the loud noise. _

"_Emmett, dude, don't be such a cock," Edward mutters. I just look down at the floor, trying not to take his words to heart. _

"_Who are you? You are not my son anymore. When you are yourself again, you can leave your room. For the time being, you're grounded!" Renee yells, standing up and towering over him. _

"_Don't be so dramatic, Mom," Emmett chuckles and Rosalie joins in. _

"_I am not, Emmett. Get to your room, you're grounded!" He huffs and stands up. Rosalie just sits there, not knowing what to do. _

"_Wait." Emmett stops and turns to glare at me. "It's okay, Mom. He's right. Please don't punish him. I'll go up to my room." I stand and leave the room before they can reply. I can hear Renee telling Emmett that he is still grounded. _

_I go up to my room and fall onto my bed. My ear buds go in and I close my eyes, listening to the music. _

**Chapter ten.**

**Now:**

After the Christmas holidays, going back to school was the last thing I wanted to do. I hadn't really spoken to or even seen Emmett since the day he was grounded last week. Renee won't let him leave his room, but I know he sneaks out and lets Rosalie in when Renee and Charlie have gone to bed.

Charlie has been working over-time, meaning we see him less than normal. Some big crime happened in Port Angeles and every member of the police force has been there to try and deal with it. I don't know much about it, but teenagers have been going missing or something. Like I said, I don't know.

I haven't used Emmett's treadmill since that day and I don't plan to use it again, either. The one thing Renee does let Emmett do is work out, and he is always in there, meaning I don't get a chance. Also, I don't like the way I felt afterwards. Knowing that I needed to work out and flashing back on everything I have ever heard said to me or of had done to me, I pushed it too hard and my whole body hurt.

Getting up the next day, my legs were like jelly and I wanted to cry because they hurt so badly. When I did get up, I went straight to the shower and used all the hot water to try and relax my muscles. I weighed myself, too, and I hadn't lost any weight. I did cry at that. After the hour plus work out, I didn't lose anything!

I know that today is going to suck; going back to school after any amount of time off does. Everyone will be excited to see their friends again and I will be sitting by myself, watching everyone else talk about their Christmas holidays. Sure, Alice will share her stories with me, but that's about it.

I get ready for school and start the long walk, listening to the music I put on my ipod. People look and beep their horns at me, but I ignore it. Today will be bad enough as it is, without others making me feel like crap. When I arrive at the school, I head straight to my first class, wanting to get the day over with.

Before I know it, it's lunch time and I am walking through the halls towards the library. People look over and stare at me, whispering to all their friends - the usual. I keep my head down and take long strides, trying to get there quicker.

I finally make it to the library and sit down in one of the uncomfortable seats. Taking out my book and pens, I start doing my English homework while eating an apple slowly. The whole place is quiet, no-one else but the librarian, Mrs Moore, is in here.

Mrs Moore is a nice lady. When I first got here and I wasn't coping well with everything, she let me know that I could talk to her if I needed to. I never took her up on the offer, too shy to even talk to anyone, but it still comforted me that the offer was there.

Just then, my phone vibrates in my pocket, making my leg shake with the force. Mrs Moore looks up when I get my phone out and I apologize with my eyes. She waves me off with a smile and I click the accept button after seeing 'Mom' flash on my screen.

"Hi, Mom," I sigh into the phone.

"Hey, Isabella. I'm not going to be home tonight. I just thought I should tell you." I groan into the phone and she chuckles slightly. "It's not that bad, honey." Yes, it really is, Mom.

"Okay."

"I need you to tell Emmett to call me; he isn't answering his phone." I drop my head back and stare at the ceiling, burning holes into it.

"Do I have to? Why can't you just text him?"

"Oh, Isabella. You know I can't do that texting thing yet, and you will be seeing Emmett soon anyway. Please, just tell him to call me as soon as you can. I have to go now, bye." Before I can reply, she hangs up.

"I love you, Mom." I whisper into the empty room. With another sigh, I get up and put everything back into my bag. What a waste of time coming here was!

I wander the halls until I get to the cafeteria. Emmett and his friends don't go in there; they just stand outside. Why, I don't know, but it's what they do and everyone knows it. Tanya sees me approach and hits Edward's arm, making him look over. Soon, all of them are staring at me as I get closer and closer to them.

I finally stop just in front of Emmett and I can see all of his friends glaring at me, trying to scare me away. I fight the urges to roll my eyes and run away all at the same time.

"Emmett, Mom said that she won't be home tonight and she needs you to call her." I look up to see him and all of his friends staring at me. "She told me to tell you," I get out feebly, wanting to just go home and fall onto my bed. So far, today has been horrible and I want to disappear, if only for a little while.

"And you chose now to do it? Why are you so fucking stupid, Isabella? Did the fat finally take over your stupid brain? Can't you see I'm with my friends? Friends are something you will never have." He asks each question while poking the side of my head with his finger and walking towards me. I back away, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"Did you finally eat yourself stupid like I knew you would? I don't know how the fuck we are related." All of his friends burst out laughing and I stare Emmett right in the eye, anger building up inside of me. "I don't know why the fuck you are even still in Forks. No-one wants you here; even Mom and Dad are getting annoyed with you. Go and curl up in a ball somewhere, Isabella. Lose weight while you're at it." He snickers.

My heart clenches and I look at him, unable to believe he actually said that. All of his friends are in hysterics now, almost sounding like wild animals. I look at the floor to try and stem my tears. It works somewhat, but the burning behind my eyes is still there.

"I'm sorry you hate me so much, Emmett. I'll try and stay out of your way."." I turn around and run down the halls towards the parking lot.

I don't stop until I get to the parking lot and I turn my running into sprinting. I can see and feel eyes on me, but I don't care. I want to go home. I keep running, remembering what it was like on the treadmill the other week and I keep going, knowing I can run faster than this.

"Hey! Isabella, wait up." I stop running and slow to a walk, waiting for him to catch up. "God you run fast fo…" He cuts off and I whirl around, glaring at him.

"What? For a fat girl?" I choke out, tears burning in the back of my eyes again. I don't need this right now. He had his chance moments ago to insult me; he should have done it then.

"No, I was just going to say you run fast for just a girl, in general. You should join the track team; they could use someone like you." Bitter laughter leaves my lips as my tears finally spill over. I don't care if everyone can see that I am crying right now. I just want a hug. I want someone to tell me that my parents do love me and that everything Emmett said was a lie.

But it wasn't. I know that everything he just said was true. I will never have friends; I never have had any. When we were little, Emmett didn't have many friends, but he was the kindest, sweetest person ever. If friends turn people nasty like they have Emmett, then I don't want friends. I want to be lonely for the rest of my life. I will be lonely for the rest of my life.

"What do you want Edward? Hmm? You got your show. The fat girl finally flipped." I sigh, wiping under my nose with the back of my hand. Attractive. "I just want to go home," I whisper, feeling like a little girl.

I see him nod and get his keys out of his pocket.

"Come on, I'll give you a ride home." I just nod, not having it in me to argue. He leads me over to his stupid, silver Volvo and climbs into the front seat. I follow and get in the passenger side.

He doesn't talk and I don't make conversation, either. Tears roll down my cheeks in steady rivers and I wipe under my nose, sniffing every now and then. Rain begins to hit the windows and I almost smile at the irony. Of course it would rain on a day like this.

We soon pull up at my house and I open the door and unbuckle the seat belt.

"Thanks for the ride." I mutter, my voice sounding strangled through my tears. After I'm out the car, I shut the door quietly behind me and make my way slowly to the door. The rain hitting me from all angles feels nice and I stop on the porch steps. I look up at the sky, sobs making my body shake.

Sitting on the top step, I put my head in my hands and sob. My own brother said _that_ to me. Sure, he has never been that nice to me, but that was just plain nasty. He knows I struggle with losing weight. He knows it! What happened to the Emmett that would hold my hand and tell me everything was going to be okay when I fell down? I want my big brother back.

My sobs get louder and louder, and I put my face into my hands. I never asked for this. I never asked to be the size of a small house. I never asked for the hand I was dealt, but I have to see how the game plays out.

I feel an arm on my shoulder, but I don't flinch away; I know who it is. Why is he always around to see me break down like this? Why do I have to be so weak and pathetic? Why do I have to be _me_? I hate feeling this pain and I want to be healthy and happy. I want to smile because I'm happy, not because I'm covering up my pain.

"Please don't hurt me," I whimper, looking up at him. He frowns, but shakes his head. His arm stays over my shoulders and I want to lean into him, to feel his warmth and his comfort. I want him to make me feel better about myself. I know he can't, no-one can.

"Of course I wouldn't." He sighs and I look down at the floor in front of me. "You should get inside, you're soaked." He stands and offers me his hand. I decline, but stand anyway and turn to the door.

Once it's unlocked and we are both inside, I shut the door and go into the living room.

"I should take off soon," Edward mutters, standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"Okay."

I wipe at my eyes, fed up already with showing my weakness in front of Edward, yet again. Why do I always cry in front of him? And I'm not even crying because of him.

"I could stay," he starts, and I look up to see him rubbing the back of his neck. "If you want," he finishes and I shrug.

"What I want is something you couldn't give me," I mutter darkly, but he hears me and comes over, sitting next to me on the love seat.

"And that is?"

"I want a hug," I admit, looking down at my lap and crying again. God! Why am I so pathetic?

Before I can refuse, his arms are around me and my head goes onto his shoulder. He strokes my hair with one hand and holds me to him with the other. I let him. I don't struggle; I just stay frozen, letting myself feel the comfort of a hug. It has been so long since I have felt a guy's arms around me; but this time, it feels better.

"_Isabella?" I look at myself in the mirror one more time and smooth my hair down quickly. He likes when I wear my hair down. I put the mirror back in my bag and a smile races across my face. _

"_I'm in here," I call out. I can see his shadow round the corner and my heart begins to race. He comes into view and my smile gets bigger. "Where have you been? You're an hour late,." I accuse, but I try to sound okay about it. I don't want to upset him. _

"_Well, I'm here now, aren't I?" He huffs and walks over to me. I sit on the couch and he sits next to me. My hand joins his and he rubs his thumb over my wrist. I can feel my face heat up and I smile shyly at him. He gives me back a tight lipped smile, but I brush it off. He's probably had a hard day at school. _

_He lets go of my hand and pulls me into his body. My arms go around his waist and his around my shoulders. He holds me like that for a while, his grip tight and his hands clutching at my top. My green top that I wore just because I know it's his favorite color and he said it looks good on me. Sure, it's a little big on me, but he likes it. I love it when he holds me like this. I love it because I know he feels the same way about me. _

"_Isabella?" I pull back and look up at him. His eyes are hard and I swallow nervously. "Kiss me." I shake my head and pull back. He knows I'm not ready for that yet. I do really like him, but I don't want to have my first kiss yet. I want to have all my firsts with the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with. _

"_No, Richard. You know I'm not ready yet," I whimper. He growls and I flinch away from him. _

"_Why, Isabella? Is it because you're so fat you can't kiss anyone? God, I don't know why I put up with you anymore." I let out a yelp when he pushes me onto the floor. "You sure you don't want to kiss me?" He hisses, his voice hard and snakelike. I don't say anything. Tears begin to build in my eyes. _

_He growls again and pulls his foot back….._

I frown, but I don't pull away from Edward's hug. I know he isn't like Richard. Richard was something else completely. He was cruel and harsh and downright nasty. He was nasty because he pretended to like me then turned it all around; he took it all away again. Edward has never showed me any kindness anyway, so I don't have anything to lose when he goes back to being his normal self.

I sit and let Edward hold me for a long while because I don't know when I will be comforted like this again. I let him hold me because, for some sick reason, I want him to pull away and hurt me. I want him to hurt me because right now, pain is everything I know.

**Not a great chapter, I am sorry. Can we get to 100 reviews?**

**A HUGE thank you to my BETA, RuthPerk. **

**Thank you all for reading and please review. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	13. Chapter 11

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a Fanfiction and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

_I frown, but I don't pull away for Edward's hug. I know he isn't like Richard. Richard was something else completely. He was cruel and harsh and downright nasty. He was nasty because he pretended to like me then turned it all around, he took it all away again. Edward has never showed any kindness in anyway, so I don't have anything to lose when he goes back to being his normal self. _

_I sit and let Edward hold me for a long while because I don't know when I will next be comforted like this again. I let him hold me because, for some sick reason, I want him to pull away and hurt me. I want him to hurt me because right now, the hurt is everything I know. _

**Chapter eleven.**

**Now:**

When I finally move out of Edward's arms, he doesn't try to talk to me. I want to thank him for the hug, but I know that it will just make things worse. I don't want to be this weak all the time; I want to be stronger and I want to stand up for myself.

I wish I wasn't so shy. Maybe if I grew a back bone, I could go out and make friends. If I had confidence, I could go out and prove to everyone that I'm not the horrible person they believe me to be. If I could go out there and show everyone the real me, the Isabella no-body knows. Hell, I may even surprise myself! I could show my brother and all of his friends that I am worthy of respect. I could show them that I am a real person, even if I have enough body fat for three.

Why must Emmett always hurt me? What have I actually done wrong to anyone? NOTHING! I hate him; I really do, I hate him so much. If the roles were reversed and he was the fat one, I would never, ever, turn my back on him like he has me. He's my brother and I love him, but I hate him. God, why is everything so confusing?

My heart hurts at the thought, but I do. I hate my own brother. I wish I didn't, believe me, I wish for nothing more but to love him, but I don't think I can anymore. Emmett is worshiped at school. All he has to do is tell everyone to leave me alone and they would. All he would have to say is to just ignore me and pretend I don't exist, and I could go back to having a quiet life. I could have an easy life again.

"You should get changed." I jump as I am pulled out of my thoughts and stare at the floor, my mind still racing.

"What?" I mumble, trying to stop my brain from racing.

"You're soaked. You should get changed before you catch a cold." I nod and stand up, going up the stairs and into my bedroom. I change, not bothering to shower or re-do my hair or anything else I know I should probably do. When I finish, I sit on my bed and stare at my reflection in the mirror.

Life would be so much easier if I was different. Even the simplest of changes would make people like me. If I was, maybe two sizes smaller, people would want to talk to me. I know that I'm not that big. A size fourteen is not all that big. Sure, if I was a size six, like everyone else at my school, everyone would like me, but I would be too small. I am not built to be tiny. I wish I was, but I'm not.

If I had blonde hair and bigger boobs, I could maybe get a few more friends. Sure, I would still be the same person, but I would look different. Looks are all that matters with everyone around me. People like Rosalie because she looks like a Goddess. People like Edward because he is unbelievably beautiful, even for a guy. People like Emmett because he is built like a house and could probably pick one up with his little finger.

People don't like me because I don't want to sleep with the male population at school. People don't like me because I don't stand up for myself. People don't like me because I look different and they don't like that. People don't like me because they are told not to.

A knock sounds on my door and I call out that he can come in, still not looking away from the mirror. Who else would it be in the house? He enters the room meekly and stands awkwardly in the doorway. It's almost funny to see Edward so unsure of himself. At school, he is as cool as a cucumber. But now? He looks like a puppy about to be scolded.

He watches me from the door as I look into the mirror. I can see him out of the corner of my eye, looking intently at my reflection.

"It's horrible, isn't it?" He frowns in confusion. "My reflection," I explain, laughing humorlessly. He shakes his head and comes closer to me, walking slowly as if approaching a dangerous animal.

"Why do you always think so fucking little of yourself?" Now, he's standing behind me, still looking at my reflection and I look down at my lap.

"I haven't been told anything different." I shrug, still looking down at my lap. My heart clenches as memory after memory assaults me. Different times and places all come back to haunt me. Words of hate and disgust mix together and take over my mind.

"Isabella, you shouldn't listen to other people. The majority of the time, they are all fucking lying," he huffs and folds his arms across his chest.

"They're not lying though, are they, Edward? You think the same as they do. Everyone thinks the same thing." I look up and meet his eyes in the mirror. I'm not crying, and I don't want to. I refuse to cry anymore. Crying means you are weak, and I don't want to be weak anymore.

"What do I fucking think then, Isabella? Hmm? What exactly am I thinking, if you know so much?" His voice is hard and I can tell I have annoyed him. I shrug, still looking at my lap. He thinks that I'm fat. He thinks that I will never be good enough for anyone. He thinks I should just curl up in a ball and die, because then everyone else will be happy. He hates me, just like my brother does. If I told him what I think he is really thinking, I don't think it would go down well.

"What do you really think then, Edward?" I ask, my voice quiet.

"I think you are far too shy and you don't know fuck about anything that isn't school work. I think you know to grow a pair of fucking balls and tell everyone where to shove it. I think that you need more friends, because Alice is a fucking nut case. I think you need to trust people more and take everything people say to you with a grain of salt. I think you should let other people in when they try, and I think you shouldn't change who you are because of what other people say."

What? What does he mean I shouldn't change myself? How could he possibly know that I am trying to change myself? He doesn't know how hard it is to change yourself, so how could he possibly say anything about it to me? He doesn't know anything. Suddenly, last week comes back to me and along with it - the flash of bronze.

"Did you see me?" I ask, my voice shaking. No. This is so bad. He can't have seen me. What if he tells Emmett and Emmett yells at me for using his stuff?

"I was going into the bathroom and I walked past. Don't worry so fucking much." I just shrug, knowing I am always going to worry about something.

"I'm sorry." I look up from under my eye lashes and look at him in the mirror.

"Stop saying you are fucking sorry." He throws his hands up in the air and I look back down at my lap. "Isabella, I'm sorry. It's just you are a nice person and you shouldn't have to feel this fucking bad about yourself.

I freeze. Did he just say I'm nice? Of course he didn't, stupid. You're fat and ugly and pathetic, you are not nice. He is right about something though. I am shy and I don't know anything other than school, that's all he did get right, though. Alice is not a nut case and I don't need any more friends. Friends only end up hurting you in the end. I don't need to trust people, because trust gets thrown back into your face; it gets broken.

"Alice isn't a nut job," I whisper, making him laugh. He full out laughs and I'm shocked. Why is he laughing? "How is that funny?" I growl, annoyed. He stops laughing, but starts again after a moment. Hearing him laugh is actually quite nice. His laugh isn't too manly or boisterous, it's just right. It fits him perfectly.

"I thought Alice was your friend. How do you not know she's mental? All she does is fucking shop and bounce around, and if she isn't shopping or bouncing, she's talking about it. God, I want to kill myself whenever she's in the same room as me. The chick is nuts!" A small smile graces my face at his explanation; she is kind of nuts when you think about it like that.

"I'm not nice." I look back up to the mirror and look him in the eyes as I say this, and I can see him sigh. "I'm not anything close to it actually. Nice is having more than one friend. Nice isn't fat and lonely and a horrible person. I'm an ugly person," I state, my voice not even sounding weak like it should. Maybe I am getting so of that confidence that I wanted.

"Whatever you say, Isabella." He comes around and sits on my bed, just next to me. I scoot away so that he isn't so close to me and I see his shoulders slump a little.

"Why are you still here, Edward? Isn't Tanya or someone waiting for you?" I ask. He shakes his head, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Tanya and I aren't dating. She isn't waiting anywhere for me, and I'm here because I want to be." I frown. Why would he want to be here and not with the supermodels he calls friends?

"Why do you want to be here Edward? Why do you want to be anywhere near me?"

"I want to be your friend. I want to protect you from the cocks at school. I want to be here, Isabella." I look at him in shock.

"You, Edward Cullen, want to be my friend?" I ask to clarify. He nods with a smile on his perfect face. "Why?" He rolls his eyes.

"You seem like a nice girl. Why wouldn't I want to be your friend?" I shake my head.

"I can't trust you, Edward. I don't trust anyone," I whisper. I can feel my hands shaking and my breathing is becoming shaky. He sighs and I look over at him, trying to see his face that he is hiding in his hands.

"I want you to trust me, and I will try to earn that trust. Just let me try. Please?" I shake my head, trying to clear it.

Why would I let him be my friend? Looking back at everything, he hasn't done anything to me. Sure, he used to stand there and laugh along, but I can't remember him ever calling me a name or hitting me in anyway. Why am I thinking of reasons to like him? He isn't the type of friend that I want. I don't want beautiful friends; I want boring, average friends because then I know they will never stab me in the back or hurt me in anyway. Richard was a good looking, well liked guy, and look what he did to me. He broke my heart.

"Can you leave please?" I whisper, my mind still racing.

"I will, but promise me you will think about it." I nod and hear him leave the room, then eventually the house. His car pulls out the drive with a honk of his horn, and I let out a deep breath, falling back onto the bed.

"Please, please, please, please! Edward has been really quiet since he came home last night. And, I know he was with you, so don't deny it," she whispers and I sigh, continuing to copy the notes off of the board. Alice has been hounding me for information all day and to be honest, I really don't want to talk about what happened last night.

"Nothing happened. He dropped me off home and he left. End of story." I shrug, leaving out the part she wants to know about.

"No, it isn't. Isabella!" she whines and I look over at her. Her bottom lip is pouted out and her eyes are glassy. Damn puppy dog face.

"I'll tell you, okay." I finally relent. "Just not here." She squeals and claps her hands before continuing with the work. I follow her lead and get on with the work on the board, trying my hardest not to think about last night. What right does he have to come into my house and stir me up like this? He should have just left when he had the chance to. He doesn't want to be my friend. This is all just some kind of sick joke to him. He saw me vulnerable and he took the opportunity to play with the fat girl's head. Well, well done Edward; you did it. I am officially going insane.

Lunch time comes all too quickly and before I can stop it, Alice is dragging me into the lunch room and over to an empty table.

"Spill!" is all she says and I slowly tell her about what happened; all of it. I tell her how Edward drove me home and comforted me when I needed it. I tell her about how he came into my bedroom. I tell her about what he said about me being nice and her being a nut-job. Surprisingly, she agrees with him and shrugs it off with a smile. Lastly, I tell her about him wanting to be my friends and me telling him to leave.

She sits there, staring at me with her mouth partly opened and her eyes wide. Waving a hand in front of her face, she seems to snap out of it and she glares over my shoulder. I don't need to turn around to know that Edward is across the room and she is glaring at him right now.

"So..." I prompt, wanting her views on the whole situation. Her eyes race back and forth, like she is trying to process everything I have just told her, again.

"I think my brother is a dick, and you need to stay away from him!" she just about yells and the whole room goes quiet, listening to our conversation. She looks around the room and her eyes again land on what I assume is her brother. I'm too afraid to turn around, so I look at Alice instead. She seems to be having some sort of silent conversation and I don't want to invade. I feel fear creeping up my spine and I know that the whole room must be looking at me.

It isn't until I hear footsteps behind me that I really begin to panic. It has to be Edward. He is going to be so angry at me for telling Alice about what happened. I bet he's going to come over and kick me or something. It's okay, I can handle it. The pain of a physical blow will be less than if I did allow him to be my friend and it was a joke. I don't think I could take the emotional pain of him doing that to me, not after Richard.

The footsteps behind me stop and I turn slightly. I breathe out in relief when I see it's Jasper. He sits down next to Alice with two trays and puts one in front of her. Her silent conversation must have ended because she smiles at Jasper and kisses him lightly before turning back to me.

"Sorry about that." She grins and opens a chocolate bar on her tray. I shrug and pull out my own lunch – an apple and a bottle of water. I didn't have time this morning to make anything and I don't really feel hungry anyway. Alice's face falls when she see's my lunch, but chooses not to say anything about it. I silently thank her and as if she can hear me, she smiles widely at me.

"Okay, so, we need to do something this weekend. I'll ask Angela to see if she's free and she can bring Ben. Maybe we could go into Port Angeles, or I'll get the house free and we could watch movies and eat popcorn, well not Ben because he is allergic, but we can get him something else. What do you guys think?" Alice finally takes a breath and I smile at her, telling her that anything would be good fun.

"As long as I'm with my two girls, I'm cool," Jasper drawls, kissing Alice's cheek then winking at me. I feel my face flush, making both of them laugh.

"Jasper, don't make the girl's face explode. Look how red she's gone." Alice giggles and I blush harder. Damn it! Why do I always have to blush at everything?

"Okay, let's change the subject," I mutter, biting into my apple and trying to hide behind it. I know I failed because, well, I'm probably bigger than the tree it was grown on.

"Isabella, are you not hungry?" Jasper suddenly asks, as if just seeing my lunch. I shake my head no and continue to eat my apple, ignoring the look they both share. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, this is fine." I try to end the discussion. They don't push it and conversation starts up about this weekend. I listen, but don't comment. Watching the couple together is both amazing and heart breaking. They are made for each other; anyone could see that. It's heartbreaking because I know I will never have that. No-one will ever look at me the way he looks at Alice. The love and warmth he has for her makes me want to smile and cry. I'm so happy for them both, I really am.

Eventually, the bell rings and we leave the lunch room, splitting off towards our lessons. They head to English and I go to Gym. Great. Kill me now?

**I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who has reviewed! I never thought this story would be popular, or liked in anyway, but it has already got 100 reviews! So thanks to everyone who has read/favourite/alerted this story and has reviewed it. It does mean so much to me that people like my stories and they want to read them :'D.**

**A big thanks to my BETA, RuthPerk.**

**Thank you all for reading and please review.**

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	14. Chapter 12

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. This chapter is mostly fiction. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

"_Isabella, are you not hungry?" Jasper suddenly asks, as if just seeing my lunch. I shake my head no and continue to eat my apple, ignoring the look they both share. "Are you sure?" _

"_Yeah, this is fine." I try to end the discussion. They don't push it and conversation starts up about this weekend. I listen, but don't comment. Watching the couple together is both amazing and heart breaking. They are made for each other; anyone could see that. It's heartbreaking because I know I will never have that. No-one will ever look at me the way he looks at Alice. The love and warmth he has for her makes me want to smile and cry. I'm so happy for them both, I really am. _

_Eventually, the bell rings and we leave the lunch room, splitting off towards our lessons. They head to English and I go to Gym. Great. Kill me now?_

**Chapter twelve.**

**Now:**

I just barely make it through the door to the changing room when I am pushed against the wall. My breath leaves my lungs with a whoosh, and I shut my eyes. I knew this would happen. I can't just walk away from them after what Emmett said. The rest of them hadn't had their turn and now they are going to. This is their time to tell me how truly disgusting and horrible I am. This will hurt, but I'm prepared for it. I always am.

I open my eyes and look straight at Rosalie. Tanya, Lauren and Jessica are standing just behind her and all the rest of the girls in the room quickly leave, pulling their tops down and their shorts up as they go. Rosalie glares at me and pushes me harder against the wall, making me wince a little.

"Hey, fatty. You need to stay the fuck away from my friends and my Emmett. He hates you, and the rest of the world hates you," Rosalie spits and I look down at her hands which are gripping me so hard I can feel her nails in my skin. I know that when she lets go there will be some angry red crescents there, most likely a little blood, too.

"Yeah, Swan." Jessica laughs at my name, like normal. "Maybe you should go jump of a cliff and die!" Lauren sniggers, but Tanya and Rosalie look at her in shock. I blink back my tears and will myself to be stronger.

"That was going too far, Jessica," Tanya whispers, but I still hear her. Jessica shrugs and smiles at Tanya, making her roll her eyes.

"Anyway, Lardy." Rosalie looks back at me, her eyes hard. "Emmett was telling me all about you the other day. About how you go home and cry every night, how you scream out in your sleep. How your mommy has to come in and hold you, just so you can get sleep again." I swallow hard and feel my whole body fill with hurt. How dare he!

"He told me what happened to you. He told me why you are so fat and pathetic." I clench my eyes shut, trying to make the memories go away. Just breathe. The stabbing feeling in my heart comes back and I just want to curl up and wait for the hurt to go away. "What's up, Isabella? You thinking about that night again? You feeling the fear and the pain of what happened to you? I hope you are, because then you know how I feel every damn time I see you."

Flashes of that night come back to me and the fear almost makes me fold myself in half. The fear makes me want to run away, back home into my mother's arms. I want my father to protect me like he did before. I want my brother to hold me all night long and promise me that nothing like that will happen again, that he promises not to run off and leave me alone in the dark again.

"What's up, chunky? Hmm? Do you want us to go away? Do you want us to leave you alone?" Tanya whispers in my ear, leaning over Rosalie to get to me. I nod pathetically, but I know they won't leave, no matter how much I beg. "Well, tough. If you want to be left alone, you shouldn't draw so much attention to yourself. You should try to blend in, not take up the whole school."

I squeeze my eyes closed tighter, but a tear still manages to sneak out and run down my cheek. I immediately cringe, knowing that they feed off of my weaknesses. They see something that they like and they act on it. I could fight back and yell at them, but they will keep pushing until I snap and then they will attack. They see a tear, and punch it off my face. They see blood and slap at it, making the blood spread further down my body. These girls are evil and everybody knows it.

"Open your fucking eyes, fatty!" Rosalie screams at me. I snap my eyes open, another tear falling at the action. "Do you know what I really love? I love seeing you so terrified. I love seeing the fear in your eyes every time you see us. I love the way your body tries to get smaller whenever you are in our presence - even though it's impossible.

"Everyone in this school wants you gone. Every guy in this school thinks about you when they are fucking their girlfriends, so they don't cum as quickly then. It either means they last longer, or they have to go to the bathroom and puke. How does that make you feel? Hmm? How does it feel to know that you disgust everyone that sees you? I mean, I will never know because I am every guy's dream girl. I'm beautiful, I have an amazing body and I can actually do math. Who wouldn't want me?" She smirks and flips her hair over her shoulder. My stomach rolls. Do they really think about me, just so they are no longer turned on? Surely not _every_ guy?

"This is going to be fun," Lauren giggles and I look at her, wondering what she could be talking about. Rosalie backs away from me and follows the rest of the girls out the room. My chest stings where Rosalie's nails were and I rub it with my hand, a few more tears falling from my eyes.

My heart is beating frantically against my ribs; my mind racing. Flashes of that night run through my mind making my stomach twist painfully. Why would Emmett tell her about that night? He knows how much it scares me and he knows she would use it against me. If I thought I hated him before, it is nothing compared to now. I want to rip his head off and feed it to Rosalie, just to rip her head off and feed it to a rabid dog.

What did Lauren mean when she said this was going to be fun? What's going to be fun? What sick game do they have planned now? Are they going to come back with knives? A gun maybe? If they kill me, it would put me out of my misery. I would rather take death than feel the pain I feel every day for the rest of my life. I would rather die and never have children, or a real life for that matter, than feel the hatred towards my brother.

The door opens again and I jump, turning to face it. I can feel all the colour leave my face when Tyler, Mike and Eric walk in and lock the door behind them. I back away slowly, as if they are dangerous animals. They all line up just in front of the door, evil smirks on each of their faces.

"Why, hello there, porky," Tyler spits, taking one step forward.

"You're looking very large today," Mike adds, also stepping forward. Eric follows suit and I take a step back, trying to put some distance between them and me. It doesn't really work out the way I planned, though, when my back hits the wall behind me. They keep walking forward and my heart rate speeds up. More and more flashes of the past come to me. Of course, Rosalie would have to bring that to the front of my mind, then this happens. They planned this and now there is nothing I can do about it.

"Leave me alone," I mumble, my eyes darting between the three boys. They all laugh and soon they are right in front of me, herding me into a corner. Maybe the girls were right and I should die. They sent these guys in here to finish me off. I let my eyes slowly close and make my body relax. I'll take whatever they give. I don't have it in me to fight anymore; I don't have it in me to care.

A rough hand goes to my hip, slowly going lower. I know it is Mike without opening my eyes by the gagging sound he makes.

"Eww, dude. You're feeling the heifer up," Tyler chuckles and another hand goes to my other hip. It was like this before. Tears slip past my closed eyes and down my cheeks, spilling onto my chest. Soon, six hands are on my body, and my body is stiff with fear. My breath is coming out in harsh pants and my stomach is knotted, bile rising slowly up my throat.

My eyes eventually snap open when a rough hand painfully grips my right breast. A deep moan leaves Eric's throat at the same time a scream leaves mine. They all jump and let go of me and I slip to the floor, curling into a ball. I go back to being a ten year old girl again, running away from the nasty man who tried to touch me in places that I didn't like.

I keep screaming and clutch my hair, slowly rocking backwards and forwards. I know I look crazy right now, but I don't care. I want all the feelings to leave me alone. I want to be happy and I want the memories to all go away.

"Dude, she's fucked up. Let's go," Mike mutters and they all leave. I keep screaming, not caring about who hears. I want my mom.

I don't know how long I am there on the floor, but I know that everyone laughs when they come in after gym, pointing at me and gossiping with their friends. Some girls even take pictures and send them to their friends. I know that they all eventually get changed and go to their next class, and I know that the third period bell sounds, and then the lunch bell.

The tears have been stopped for a while now, but I still rock backwards and forward, my hands in my hair.

"Isabella? There you are." I glance up to see Jasper, soon followed by Ben, run in. Ben stays by the door, glancing between me and the hall. Jasper, however, kneels down in front of me and takes my hands away from my hair. My hands ache when I uncurl them from a fist and my hair feels like it has all been ripped out.

"We have been worried sick about you. Are you okay?" Jasper whispers. I just look at him, searching his eyes for any hint of hatred or threat. When I see none, I look to the floor, my hands itching to go back into my hair. "Isabella, what happened?" he asks and I shake my head, tears welling.

Ben's phone goes off and he pulls it out of his pocket. I can see him looking at the screen and whatever is on it must shock him, because he gasps and his eyes meet mine.

"Oh, Isabella. I am so sorry." I shake my head and look down at the floor.

"What? What happened?" Jasper gets to his feet and goes over to Ben.

"It's a video," Ben states, and then clicks play. I can see him using the buttons on the side of the screen to turn the volume up. The screams get louder and louder out of the speaker and I know that it's the video of what happened to me.

"That is sick!" The venom in Jasper voice is shocking. I have never seen him like this before.

"Jas, dude. Cool off a bit, you're scaring her," Ben mutters, smiling sympathetically at me. I look away, not wanting pity or sympathy. If I wasn't so fat, I wouldn't draw attention to myself. I wouldn't have drawn the attention of that man back then, and I wouldn't have the troubles that I do now. If I wasn't so big, I would be loved and people would see me for who I really am. My life would be different. Well, as they say, what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. I just hope all of this does.

"Isabella?" I flash my eyes to Jasper's, then away again. "Did they hurt you? If they did, I will kill them." I quickly shake my head.

"No, they didn't hurt me. Please, can you just forget it? I'm not… I mean, it's not that important." I quickly recover, but I can see both boys narrow their eyes at me and I know they heard my slip up.

"You're worth it, Isabella. Please don't think otherwise." Ben tries to reassure me, but I shrug it off. No use believing lies.

"Ben, can you go and find Alice for me, please? I'm sure she's worried sick." Ben runs off after Jasper finishes his question.

"Thanks. Jasper, but you can go now," I whisper, pulling my legs close to my body and putting my arms around them. I don't want to take up any more of Jasper's time. He's a nice guy; 'one of the good ones', as Alice would say. She definitely did well with snatching Jasper up before someone like Tanya or Lauren did. I shudder to think what dating one of those girls could have done to him.

"I'm not going anywhere. By the looks of that video, you were terrified of those guys." His eyes turn soft as they search mine out. I don't look away this time and I don't see pity, I see concern. Been a while since I saw that, I think dryly. "Is there anything you want to talk about? My ears are open and my shoulder's free," he jokes and I manage a tiny smile. "I mean it, Iz, anytime." My eyes widen at that. Did he just call me Iz?

"What did you call me?" I have to check.

"I called you Iz," he drawls. "It's like a nickname. Do you not like it?" Even though the sentence should be said with worry, he is everything but. His voice is always so confident and sure, it makes me so jealous sometimes.

"It's just," I pause to think of the right word. "Different, I guess." He nods, but the smile never leaves his face.

"Okay, now we have that sorted out," he chuckles and I smile as well. I can't help it, Jasper just makes everyone want to smile. No wonder Alice loves him so much. "Let's get you off this floor." He straightens up and offers me his hand. I shake my head and get up myself. I don't want to break his back, Alice would kill me.

"Thanks, Jasper." He smiles wildly and before I can think about what's happening, he pulls me into his arms, hugging me to his body. I freeze and I think he notices, but he doesn't let go or back away.

"Hey, get off my man!" A small giggle comes from the doorway and Jasper laughs as he lets me go. As soon as I am out of his arms, I'm in Alice's. Her body is so small, but I hug her back anyway, feeling the familiarity and warmth of her hug.

"Oh, so you hug her back," Jasper laughs and another musical laugh joins in. I jump and my heart begins to race. I think Alice can feel it because she peaks up at me with a knowing grin. I shake my head slightly and frown as she lets go.

Looking over to the door, Jasper and Edward are standing there, sharing the same look of concern. Alice asks me what happened and I just tell her it was nothing, because at the end of the day, it was. I'm nothing and what happens to me is nothing. Everyone I know has taught me that.

Alice takes my hand and the guys lead the way out of the front of the school. Confusion over whelms me. Surely it's not the end of the day already? As if she can sense my question, Alice informs me that I can no longer stay in school and we are all going back to her house. I shrug and continue walking, my eyes on my feet. We all climb into cars; I'm with Alice, and Jasper rides with Edward.

We eventually arrive at the Cullen's' after a quiet, comfortable ride home. Alice had the radio on, but it didn't fill the car. It was nice. Alice parks the car and all but falls out of it and into Jasper's arms. I smile slightly and unbuckle the seat belt, climbing out the car and shutting the door silently. Esme must have seen us arrive because she comes out the house, a scowl on her immaculate face.

"What are you all doing here?" she huffs, taking in her children and Jasper. When her eyes meet mine, she smiles widely and comes forward, taking me into her arms. Her hugs have always been motherly to me and I love her as if she was my real mother. Esme and Carlisle grew up with Charlie and Renee, but they lost contact after Emmett, Alice, Edward and I were born. They started their families and they lost contact with each other. When Alice and I became friends, Renee and Esme started talking again and now they are as close and Alice and I are.

"Talk to me later," she whispers in my ear and I nod. Alice huffs and moans about Esme hogging me, making us both laugh. Alice eventually drags me up to her room to put on a DVD. On the way up, I couldn't help but notice that Edward and Jasper had disappeared.

**Thank you so much for reading. Every review/favourite/alert makes me so happy. My mum always asks me what my huge smile is about. Reading all of your amazing reviews and messages makes me fill with so much happiness. Okay, I need to stop talking/typing now. **

**Anyway, thank you so much to my amazing BETA, RuthPerk, and her ability to make my writing make sense :D. **

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**Thanks for reading. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	15. Chapter 13

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**Warning: This chapter has some very dark thoughts. It is an extract from my diary, with a few changes. If you do not like suicidal thoughts, I suggest you skip some of this chapter. I want to clear up that Isabella's past, never happened to me. I do know people who have had things happen to them, but it hasn't happened to me. Thank you for reading. **

**Last time:**

"_What are you all doing here?" she huffs, taking in her children and Jasper. When her eyes meet mine, she smiles widely and comes forward, taking me into her arms. Her hugs have always been motherly to me and I love her as if she was my real mother. Esme and Carlisle grew up with Charlie and Renee, but they lost contact after Emmett, Alice, Edward and I were born. They started their families and they lost contact with each other. When Alice and I became friends, Renee and Esme started talking again and now they are as close and Alice and I are._

"_Talk to me later," she whispers in my ear and I nod. Alice huffs and moans about Esme hogging me, making us both laugh. Alice eventually drags me up to her room to put on a DVD. On the way up, I couldn't help but notice that Edward and Jasper had disappeared. _

**Chapter thirteen.**

**Now:**

"Hey, Mary?" Alice looks up with a hum in response, not even yelling at me for calling her Mary. "Where did Jasper and Edward go?" She shrugs and continues to look through her CD's.

"Aaha! I found it!" she squeals and all but runs over to her CD player, putting in the CD. She presses a few buttons and soon she is jumping on the bed, the tunes of Justin Bieber coming from the stereo.

"And I was like baby, baby, baby, oh. Like baby, baby, baby no. Like baby, baby, baby, oh. I thought you'd always be mine, mine." I roll my eyes at Alice as she jumps on her bed, pointing at me and screaming the words at the top of her lungs. She notices and giggles, before plopping onto the bed next to me. Panting, she turns and smiles widely at me, making me laugh and shake my head. Alice always knows how to cheer me up, and that is one of the reasons I love her so much.

"Justin Bieber? Really, Alice?" She nods and looks at me like it's a sin to not like Justin Bieber. No offence, but Glee did it better.

"Yeah, he's awesome and super cute. Don't you just want to put him on a leash and take him for a walk?" she giggles and I burst out into loud laughter. I never really thought of that.

"Not really, no. I don't really want to take anyone for a walk, let alone Justin Bieber." She shrugs and tells me that it's 'my loss'. I beg to differ, but I don't tell her that.

For the next hour, Alice convinces me to allow her to play with my hair. It's soothing and I can feel myself drifting off.

"You did make a good point there, Isabella. Where did those guys go?" she muses, snapping me out of my sleepy state. I shrug one shoulder, humming along to her music. Thank goodness this CD isn't just Justin Bieber, or I might have to kill myself.

"There weren't outside when we came in. I thought they had maybe gone into Edward's room, but I haven't heard them since." She hums again and continues to braid my hair.

"Your hair is so beautiful. You should wear it down more often." She pauses, as if in thought. "In fact, I don't think I have ever seen you wear it down." She finishes my hair as she says the last word. I grab the end and finger just below the band. Following the braid, it finishes just behind my bangs, which are still tucked behind my ears.

"My hair is something that I love, and I know that if I wear it down, it's just something else for people to talk about." I twist it around my hand and Alice watches me with sad eyes.

"I wish I could take away your pain. You don't deserve anything you've had done to you," Alice whispers, but I can still hear her over the music. I look at her to find tears swimming in her eyes.

"Alice, I wish you wouldn't cry for me. I'm not worth it." At this, big, fat tears start to fall from her eyes and she launches herself at me, clinging to my body.

"You are worth it, Isabella. You are, you are!" she chants and I rub her back, trying to soothe her. She sits crying for a few minutes, trying to convince me that I am worth it. I don't agree, but then I don't disagree out loud either. When she finally calms down, she still doesn't let go of me.

I sit still, trying not to move. If I move, she could feel my fat. I don't think I could handle that right now. She could feel it and pull away in disgust. I can't say that hasn't happened before. As if Alice can hear my thoughts, she pulls away and wipes under her eyes. Even though she has been crying, her make-up is still immaculate.

"Alice, baby? Are you okay?" We both turn to see Jasper run through the door, coming straight for Alice and taking her into his arms and off of me. I exhale the breath I was holding, therefore, making my size the way it should be again. He holds her to his body and she snuggles into his shoulder. I have to look away from their embrace, jealousy starting to take me over.

I pick at my finger nails as Jasper quiets Alice. I jump when I feel another person sit down next to me. My intake of breath tells me it's Edward. His earthly scent surrounds me and I shiver involuntarily. What is going on with my body?

Edward doesn't say anything and neither do I. We both sit side by side, waiting for Alice and Jasper to join us again. When they do, all three eye me carefully.

"I'm not going to die. You can all stop watching me now,." I huff and cross my arms over my chest. They all look around the room, as if they weren't even looking at me in the first place.

"You're hair looks nice, Iz," Jasper drawls and I smile shyly at him.

"Thanks, Alice did it." He smiles when I meet his eyes, but I quickly look away again. I find it hard to look people in the eye. I don't know why, I just always have. I think it's because I believe that people's eyes are the windows to their souls. If someone sees into my soul, they could see something I don't want them to see. They could see who I really am - a scared little girl.

"So, what happened today, Isabella?" Edward asks, talking for the first time since he came into the room. I sigh and look down at my lap.

"If you don't tell us, we will ask around at school and you know we will get the full story," Jasper states, but his voice is soft, enchanting. I blink a few times, trying to decide if I should tell them or not. If I do, they will know all about my past and they will be disgusted. Alice might not want to be my friend anymore. But, if I don't, Rosalie or one of her friends could tell them an edited version, making everything worse that it is. God, why is everything so hard in my life?

"Emmett told Rosalie about something that had happened to me, and she thought it would be funny to re-enact it. So she did." I shrug.

"What happened to you?" Jasper asks.

"You've seen the video. Work it out." Their sharp intakes of breath tell me that they know exactly what I am talking about.

"Why doesn't anyone know?" Alice whispers and I can tell that she is crying again. I hate that. I hate that she feels the need to cry for me all the time. I want Alice to be happy and I want her to smile. She has such a beautiful smile and it's a shame when it gets replaced by tears.

"I was ten, Alice. Nobody believes a ten year old girl. Anyway, Charlie took care of it." Alice goes to say something, but I hold up my hand, cutting her off. "Please, can we not talk about it?" She nods, but I can see the determination to find out everything on her face.

"Thought any more about what I said?" I freeze and feel my face flush. His breath washes over my neck, making all my skin erupt in goose bumps. His voice is hushed, making it sound even more like honey. I can see Jasper and Alice watching, but I know by the confused looks on their faces that they didn't hear what he said.

"Not really, no," I murmur back, because honestly, I haven't.

"I need an answer," he chuckles quietly and yet more blood rushes to my face.

"I need to go home," I tell everyone and quickly stand, walking out the room. Alice runs out after me and tells me she will give me a ride home; I accept with a smile. When we go to leave, Esme pouts that we haven't had time to talk. I apologize and promise that I will be around again soon. That makes her smile and she lets me leaves with a final hug.

The ride back is awkward. I can see that Alice is tense and I feel bad because I know she feels like this because of what I said. I wish I hadn't said anything now. She now knows my secret; the one secret I didn't want to tell anyone. I guess she would have found out eventually, but I have kept it for seven years. I guess I thought I could keep it forever.

Emmett isn't home when I get back and neither is Renee. Charlie grunts his hello as I walk past him and up to my bedroom. I quickly use the bathroom, and then sit on my bed, looking around the open space. Suddenly, an idea comes to mind and I bend over to grab my diary from under my bed.

I quickly flip through it, trying to find the page I want. I haven't written in this diary for about a year now. When I started it, I was in a dark place. I had a form of depression left over from the incident when I was ten, and every little thing that has happened since then.

I find the page and start reading.

'_If I could change anything, I wouldn't keep anything the way it is. Sure, I would keep my eyes and hair, because you __can't__ really change that. I want smaller legs and a smaller stomach. I want bigger boobs, because then, guys might like me. I want to be prettier, because I am an ugly person. I want to be a nicer girl, because I'm a bitch. My friends are only my friends because they are __afraid __of me. I don't know why, because my bark is worse than my bite. I couldn't hurt a fly, and I am still a virgin, even though nobody thinks I am. As if someone would sleep with me__,__ anyway. I want to fit in with fashion and I want to look good __every day__. I don't like wearing make-up, but I do sometimes because it makes me feel like I fit in with people my age. Girls my age are all super skinny and beautiful and I want to be the same.__;__ I want to fit in. _

_I feel like I am a monster. I feel like I shouldn't eat anymore, because then maybe I could be better. I see beautiful girls everyday with their hair amazingly done and their make-up flawless. If I try and make myself look like that, it all falls flat within an hour, because I am a failure. _

_I sometimes sit in the lunch room and watch Emmett with all of his friends. They laugh and have fun. I will admit that I am jealous of my __brother;__everyone __likes him. Everyone wants to be his friend. Alice is great, but she is the only friend that I have. I wouldn't change her, but I feel like she's only my friend because she has to be. Someone has to be friends with the fat girl. Poor girl drew the short straw. _

_Watching Emmett, I see the way he interacts with everyone around him. I see the way his dimples come out when he smiles. I see the way that all his friends generally want to be around him. No-one wants to be around me. I don't even want to be around me. I'm a prisoner in my own body __-__my __huge, massive, fat body. _

_I eat because it makes me feel safe. He told me that I was such a pretty girl and it would be a shame if he missed the opportunity. If I'm ugly, nothing like that would ever happen again. Old men __won't__ touch me again and I __won't__ be pinned to walls while guys I don't know touch me. I __won't__ be attacked again. I am human__ -__ I still feel and I still bleed. I feel pain just like everybody does. I feel every blow like everyone else does, because, believe it or not, there is skin __over __my fat. Fat doesn't block out pain. _

_I see him around a lot__,__ Richard. Every time I do, he's with a different girl, smiling and laughing too loudly. Of course, the girls swoon and giggle obnoxiously, trying to get him to look at them for that extra second. I want to be__ one of__ those girls. I want more than anything for him to even glance my way. I would give up everything, even my own life, just to be looked at for a second, as if I'm not the ugly, weird girl. The fat girl. _

_I have thought about that before, giving up my own life. Would people miss me? Would people come to my funeral? Would it even be acknowledged? I know my family would be there, but they have to. It would seem suspicious if they didn't go to my funeral. I wouldn't want anyone to cry__,__ though. I wouldn't be worth anyone's tears. I'm not worth anything. _

_Self-harm is also something that has __flitted __through my mind. To feel a blade slice through my skin__;__would __it feel as __good as __eat__ing__ a chocolate bar? Would I feel the same buzz the sugar gives me? I could sit and watch the blood ooze from the wound, maybe taking some of the fat with it. I could watch as my life leaves me. I would be the one inflicting pain on myself for a change. And what a great change it would be. _

_I hate who I am. I hate who I have made myself__ into__. I want to change. __It's__ just harder than some people think. I know I don't have it as hard as some people do, but I don't have it easy__,__ either. People only see __me __for my appearance, not for who I am inside. People always point out what is wrong with me, when I look in the mirror and see it __every day__. I'm not oblivious. I'm not stupid.'_

I slam the diary shut, not wanting to read anymore. The words float around my head, but I don't cry. I cried when I wrote that. If you look hard enough, you can still see the tear marks on the page, smudging the words. I can still remember how I felt at the time.

I had come home after the incident with Emmett's friends. He had helped me clean my wounds and I had thought about cutting when I was in the shower. I didn't, but I can remember the urge to reach out for my razor. I can still feel my fingers itching to grab it and put it to my wrist.

I snap out of my thoughts and bury my head in the pillow, willing the pain to go away.

**Thank you so much for reading. I am sorry if I have upset anyone with my story, but this is like cleansing for me. Writing it down makes me feel better. **

**A HUGE thank you to my amazing BETA, RuthPerk. You are awesome! **

**I have Twitter! Follow me? The link is on my profile. **

**Thanks for reading. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	16. Chapter 14

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

_I slam the diary shut, not wanting to read anymore. The words float around my head, but I don't cry. I cried when I wrote that. If you look hard enough, you can still see the tear marks on the page, smudging the words. I can still remember how I felt at the time. _

_I had come home after the incident with Emmett's friends. He had helped me clean my wounds and I had thought about cutting when I was in the shower. I didn't, but I can remember the urge to reach out for my razor. I can still feel my fingers itching to grab it and put it to my wrist. _

_I snap out of my thoughts and bury my head in the pillow, willing the pain to go away. _

**Chapter fouteen.**

**Now:**

The rest of the week at school is somewhat uneventful. People still stare at me, but Alice, Angela, Ben, Jasper and even Edward don't let me out of their sight. Alice obviously told Angela and Ben what happened to me, because when I see them next Angela breaks down, sobbing about how sorry she is for me. I brush her off, telling her that it isn't her fault.

Although no-one has said anything too bad to my face, I can't help but see the glares Rosalie shoots me all the time. So do Alice and Edward; they both glare back at her and tell me to ignore her - easier said than done. Emmett has decided to pretend I don't exist, both at home and at school. Renee asked him to call me the other day - I heard it through the walls. He simply said 'Isabella who?' and Renee all but ripped his head off. It was kind of funny, if I'm honest. Jasper, Ben and Edward haven't spoken to Emmett either and I feel so bad. They shouldn't lose their friends because of me; I'm not worth it.

Edward. Hmm. He is so frustrating. Every chance he gets, he asks me if I have made my mind up yet. I want to yell at him to leave me alone, but I don't want to hurt his feelings in any way. My sense of trust is being stretched into several different directions right now. Everyone wants me to trust them, but I know that I can't. If you give out your trust, it will just get broken in the end; you get broken in the end.

I do want to trust Edward and I want to be able to trust Jasper and Ben, even Angela. They all have been amazing for the past few days and I couldn't ask for better people to be around me. But, I can't trust them, not yet anyway. Especially Edward.

Alice thinks that I should trust them. She thinks that I should let more people in. _'You let me in and I didn't hurt you'. _I can still see her pouting as she said it, her hands on her hips and her eyes matching that of a puppy. I rolled my eyes at her and told her I would think about it, which made her clap her hands and bounce around. She really is mental.

Eric, Mike, and Tyler haven't been in school lately. Maybe they think Charlie found out what happened and he is looking for them. He doesn't know, I haven't told anyone. I'm sure that Renee will find out sooner or later, but I haven't seen Charlie in person for days now. I hear him come home at night and leave in the mornings, but other than that, it's like he doesn't exist anymore.

Renee seems sad. When I get home, her eyes are puffy and red and she quickly goes to her room, muttering about washing and cleaning. I know that something is going on with her, but I can't figure it out. My mom and I are close, so if it is anything serious, I know she will come to me if she's in trouble. I just know she will.

I haven't looked in my diary again since then. I want to throw it away, just get rid of it. I nearly have a few times now, but every time I do, I realize that I could throw it in Emmett's face one day; show him exactly how I feel. There is some pretty dark stuff in there; maybe he could understand what I felt - what I still feel now.

"What the fuck?" A voice roars.

I jump up from my bed and run down the stairs as quickly as my body will let me. I run down the first flight of stairs but when I get to the second, leading down to the ground floor, I freeze. My eyes take everything in, but my mind can't comprehend it all.

Emmett lies on his back on the floor, clutching his nose as blood pours out of it. Glancing quickly to the door, I can see Edward being held back by Jasper. Both guys are seething and the anger in their eyes is scary. Jasper sees me first and he smirks at me before nudging Edward. He also looks up and the glint in his eyes tells me that he about to enjoy what he is going to do.

"What the hell is going on here?" I finally ask, my voice shaky. My mind is still trying to catch up with everything, but I think I know what is going to happen.

"Well, hello there, little lady," Jasper drawls with a wink and I blush, even in this strange situation. "We're here to teach this young man how to treat his sister, and others around him, properly." He finishes by kicking the bottom of Emmett's shoe. By this time, Emmett is sitting up and looking at Edward and Jasper like they have gone mad. Maybe they have, who knows?

"What are you going to do to him?" I whisper. They hear me and look at each other, big grins on their faces.

"You know, explain to him how to be a decent person and a good brother, show him a lesson," Edward answers brightly. What the hell? They surely can't be serious about all of this, can they? Renee and Charlie aren't home and I know that I won't be able to stop them both.

"Just don't get blood everywhere." I shrug and go down the rest of the stairs into the kitchen. Edward and Jasper burst out laughing and Emmett grabs my ankle as I walk past him. "Let me go," I hiss.

"You can't let them do this to me." I look down into the eyes of my brother. For him being such a big-built guy, he certainly looks scared. I want to laugh in his face and tell Edward and Jasper to leave all at the same time.

"Why can't I? You told Rosalie." Recognition comes to his eyes and he almost looks regretful.

"I tell Rosalie everything," he hisses, his anger coming out. His grip on my ankle tightens slightly, but not enough to cause pain.

"You didn't need to tell her that though, did you?" I kick his hand off of me and continue towards the kitchen, his pleas for them not to hurt him, follow me.

~/3~

"I can't believe you guys did that," Alice breathes and shakes her head, her eyes not leaving the screen. Jasper and Edward do some weird handshake thing from their seats. Jasper leans back on the couch again, putting his arms around Alice, and Edward sits up straight from his place next to me.

"I'm just pissed that I wasn't there to help!" I look over and am shocked to see Angela with a scowl on her face. I expected Ben to say something like that, but definitely not Angela. "What? He deserved it! No offence, Isabella!" she exclaims.

"None taken." I smile.

"If we'd have known you wanted to join in, we could have called you," Edward chuckles.

"Well, make sure you do next time," she huffs and Ben kisses her forehead, before pecking her lips. I smile and turn my attention to the screen.

"Your comment was classic, Iz." Jasper just about manages to get out through his laughter which makes Edward start laughing and I smile with them.

All of this was Alice's idea. We had already arranged for all of us to get together and watch movies and stuff, but her idea was to invite Edward along, too. She said it was so I didn't get bored when the couples started to do 'couple-y' things. I cringe just to think about it.

I don't exactly mind him being here after what he did for me, but it's still awkward. I know he's expecting an answer from me and I honestly haven't had the time to think about it properly. If I give him an answer now, I might regret it. I'm so confused!

"Hey, Ali. Mind if I smoke?" Edward gets his packet out of his pocket, leaning towards me in the process. I inhale deeply, my senses being filled by his amazing smell. His eyes meet mine and I can't look away. He must feel the same tug because his eyes don't move and if anything, he leans forward some more.

"No. Go outside, Edward. God!" And just like that, the spell is broken. I blink and move away from him, tucking my legs into my chest and wind my arms around them. He stands and goes over to Alice's balcony, just to the left of the television. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as he paces around the small space, a cigarette hanging from his lips. His hands find their way into his hair and he tugs on it, looking somewhat distressed. As if he can feel me watching him, he looks over and I look away immediately, blushing the colour of a fire truck.

I sneak a peek at him and he gestures with his head for me to join him. I can feel the blood leave my face and my eyes widen. He wants me to stand outside with him? Why? Is he being serious? He gestures again, but this time he uses his hand.

Slowly, I stand and walk over to the sliding doors. I can feel every pair of eyes in the room on me, but I don't care. I go outside and immediately shiver from the cold. Edward must have noticed because I have to stop him from taking his jacket off. I have the extra fat to keep me warm.

"If you want an answer, I don't have one for you yet," I mutter, hoping to stop the questions from starting. He exhales, smoke floating from his lips up into the darkening sky.

"That's fine," he mutters and takes a pull on his cigarette. He notices me looking and offers me one from his packet. I hesitate then shake my head no. Obesity will kill me; I don't need to add cancer on to that. "Do you think you will ever be able to trust me?" I take in a deep breath and lean against the railing, looking out into the forest surrounding the Cullen home.

"I don't know, Edward. The people I trust always end up hurting me. I don't think I can take anymore hurt." I look over at him and he takes a step forward so he is leaning on the railing next to me. Soon, I'm surrounded by his unique smell and cigarette smoke. It's strangely a good smell.

"I promise not to hurt you. Please, just give me a chance." Looking in his eyes, I see nothing but honesty. The wind picks up and I shiver, making me look away from his amazing emerald eyes. "We should go back in. It's getting colder." I nod and follow him back through the door.

~/3~

The rest of the night goes smoothly. We all end up falling asleep watching a movie and Esme calls all of our parents, telling them we will be staying with her for the night. Of course, our parents don't mind, so we stay.

When I called Renee an hour ago, she said she would be here in five minutes to pick me up.

I look out the window with a sigh. Where is she? As if God answers me, Renee pulls up in the driveway, and she doesn't make a move to come into the house. With a quick goodbye to everyone, I go out the house and climb into the car.

I can see Renee's swollen eyes and red cheeks. A few tears are still rolling down her cheeks and she sniffs loudly. Putting my hand gently on her arm, she pulls out the driveway and speeds towards home, sniffing and wiping at her tears the entire way.

When we arrive, she gets out the car and I follow her into the house. She heads straight into the kitchen and busies herself with different things. I sigh and sit at one of the chairs.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She stops what's she's doing and her shoulders slump, her whole body shaking with the force of her sobs. "Mom?" She turns and walks over to me, falling into my arms as I stand up.

"It's so awful!" she cries and I rub her back, my heart hammering in my chest. What the hell has gotten her into this state? Has something happened to her that I didn't know about?

"Mom, you're scaring me. What happened?" She pulls away and I hand her a tissue. She blows her nose and sits down, I follow suit, sitting down opposite her and taking her hands in mine.

"It's your dad and I." My blood goes cold and my heart picks up speed. "We're getting a divorce."

**Who saw that coming? Please don't hate me. I know its short and I am sorry. **

**Thanks to each and every one of you have reviewed and favourited and alerted and everything! I love you all so much :D **

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**Thanks for reading. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	17. Chapter 15

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

"_Do you want to talk about it?" She stops what's she's doing and her shoulders slump, her whole body shaking with the force of her sobs. "Mom?" She turns and walks over to me, falling into my arms as I stand up. _

"_It's so awful!" she cries and I rub her back, my heart hammering in my chest. What the hell has gotten her into this state? Has something happened to her that I didn't know about? _

"_Mom, you're scaring me. What happened?" She pulls away and I hand her a tissue. She blows her nose and sits down, I follow suit, sitting down opposite her and taking her hands in mine. _

"_It's your dad and I." My blood goes cold and my heart picks up speed. "We're getting a divorce." _

**Chapter fifteen. **

**Now:**

"What? No! This can't be happening!" I yell, tears springing to my eyes. I blink them away and push back from the table, starting to pace around the kitchen, trying to think of anything in the past few months that could signal them getting a divorce. I come up with nothing. My parents are perfect together. If you watch them from afar, it looks like they have gotten married recently, not been married for over a decade. They love each other, I know they do.

"Honey, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. Please calm down," Renee mumbles, wiping her eyes and standing in front of me, trying to stop my pacing. I just turn and walk out into the hallway and up the stairs. When I get there, I pause half way up and turn around, going back to the kitchen.

"Isabella, what are you doing?" she asks when I grab the phone and dial a familiar number. She tries to stop me, but I wave her off.

"Hello, Forks Police department. Chad speaking. What's your emergency?"

"I need Charlie Swan," I spit out and I hear shuffling before a small beep.

"Charlie Swan," his gruff voice says and I want to cry.

"Dad, you have to come home," I sigh, watching my mother out of the corner of my eye. My tone is off and he realizes that, too.

"Isabella, what's the matter? What's happened?" I can hear movement in the background and I know he's ready to come home if he's needed.

"You have to come home," I repeat and Renee sits at the table, her heads in her hands and her shoulders heaving.

"I'll be five minutes. Can you hang on till then?" I just let out a loud huff and the line goes dead. I put the phone back into the holder and fall onto one of the chairs. How long has this all been going on? I have been so self-absorbed, only worrying about my own problems. I could have at least tried to make everything okay with my parents. I am so God damn selfish!

Charlie finally arrives home and runs into the kitchen, panic written all over his face. When he sees us both, he grabs my hands and asks me what has happened. I look over at my mom who still has her face in her hands.

"Are you really getting a divorce?" I snap, angry that he is putting my mom through this much pain.

"Renee?" he asks and she looks up at him. Seeing my mom like this is heart breaking. I can see pain all over her face and in her eyes. Her heart is breaking right now, all because of my dad.

"I told her, Charlie." She wipes under her nose with a tissue and Charlie sighs, letting my hand go. I try to compose myself. "I had to. I can't keep it in anymore."

"Isabella, can you give your mother and I a moment?" he asks and I stand up from the table, and stalk out of the room. I go out the front door and sit on the top step of the porch, letting my face fall into my hands. What has happened that is so bad that they can't work through it? My parents' relationship has always been so strong. This can't be the end of them.

I sit outside for a few minutes before Charlie comes out and joins me. He sits on the step just to my right and we both look out at the cars going up and down the road. He doesn't start the conversation and neither do I. I want to ask him about it; I want to ask him what made him want a divorce. I want to ask him what I could have done to prevent it.

I feel him take my hand in his and I finally let a few tears fall. My family is falling apart around me and there is nothing I can do about it. I don't want to be one of those families that only see one parent every other weekend. I want everything to stay the same.

"Isabella," he starts then pauses. "I don't know what to tell you," he finally admits.

"The truth," I sniff, toying with his hand in mine. He reaches his other hand over and pats mine.

"Things just aren't the same for me, anymore." His voice is gruff and I know he's in pain, too.

"Is there someone else?" I have to ask. I know that Charlie isn't the type of guy that would cheat, but you never know when these things happen.

"What? No, of course not!" He sounds outraged at the idea of it.

"Then why aren't things the same?" I cry, wiping under my eyes with my free hand.

"Isabella, when you grow up and find someone that you love, you will understand how that love doesn't always last. We're having problems, I'm working too much for her and she's not working enough. All these different things," he sighs. "Your mom and I had a good run, but I just don't feel the same anymore." I throw his hand away from me and stand up.

"That is crap. When I fall in love, it will be because I am going to spend the rest of my life with him. We will work through our problems, unlike you. You're just scared because things are getting tough. I love you, daddy, but this is not the answer." He sits there with his mouth open as I run down the driveway and down the road.

I slow to a walk, my mind racing. There is no proper reason for them to be divorcing. What the hell has work go to do with a marriage? Yeah, Charlie is working a lot, but that won't last forever. Renee works for a few hours five days a week, but that's just because she is a teacher.

I keep walking, my mind in a different place. God, why is my life so complicated all the damn time? I wipe under my eyes with my shirt sleeve and then under my nose. For once it isn't raining, but I don't think that is a good thing right now. I want it to rain so that it hides my pain. I don't want to feel like this forever. I want to be normal, if only for a little while.

I round a corner and freeze. What am I doing here? I must have walked for a few miles to get here. The Cullens don't really live in Forks, but I suppose I need a friend right now and Alice lives here. She just so happens to be my only friend, so I guess that I need her shoulder to cry on for a while.

I wipe my eyes again and walk up their long driveway, getting myself ready to knock on the door. It's likely that Esme will answer and she will want to know what's going on. I don't know if I should tell her or not. Esme and Renee are friends and I'm sure Renee will tell Esme if she wants her to know what's going on.

I finally reach the door and I raise my hand, knocking it twice against the wood. I only wait a few seconds before the door swings open and I groan inwardly.

"Hey, Isabella. Are you okay?" I nod slightly.

"Hi, Edward. Is Alice here?" I stutter, dropping my eyes to the floor in front of me.

"No, she's out with Jasper. Do you want to come in?" I take in a deep, shuddering breath and shake my head.

"No, thank you. I'm sorry I bothered you." I turn around and walk away from the house.

Of course Alice wouldn't be in. She has a life and friends and people that want to be around her. She isn't like me; she doesn't get frowned upon for just leaving her house. I mean, my parents are divorcing so one of them won't have to be around us anymore. That's how much I'm wanted around here.

Alice has Jasper and they are in love. They're going to get married and have babies and ride off into the sunset. Alice deserves happiness and that's what she's getting.

"Isabella! Wait up!" I turn and see Edward jogging towards me in just a pair of sweat pants and a tank top. His muscles flex as he runs and his hair gets pushed around because of the wind. I didn't notice what he was wearing when he answered the door; but now that I see what he's wearing, I feel the blood fill my face and I look down at the floor, embarrassed.

"What's happened?" he breathes when he reaches me. I shake my head and try not to let him see me crying. "Isabella, please talk to me," he sighs and reaches his hand out. As if he thinks better of it, he draws it back and runs it through his hair and groans. I look up shocked, but he's looking at me and I know that he's seen the tears on my face. "Please?"

"My parents are getting divorced," I admit, a fresh wave of tears wash over me. Before I can stop it, he's taken me into his arms, holding me to his hard chest.

"I am so sorry, Isabella," he breaths into my hair, rubbing my back soothingly. I start to wrap my arms around him, but instead, I push him back. What if he felt my body? What is he felt everything I hide behind my clothes? What if he tells everyone about how thick I am? What if he tells everyone how fat and ugly I felt when he touched me? What if he tells Alice and she realizes how horrid I actually am?

"I'm sorry, I'll go." I turn around and start walking again, but he falls into step next to me.

"Why do you always run away?" His voice isn't nasty or taunting, just curious. I breathe out through my nose as I watch my feet and think about what to say. I can't tell him the truth; I'm sure he already knows about Richard. I mean, they ran in the same circles and they were best friends. I'm sure Richard told him all about me.

"I don't want to talk about it." I glance over at him and see him staring straight forward, watching where we're walking. He glances back and I look away.

"I know you don't, but you can trust me." He runs his hand through his hair again. I shrug and stop as we get to the road, looking both ways.

"I can't trust anyone anymore." I go to cross the street, but Edward grabs my arm and steers me down a side road. He doesn't say anything, just turns me down the road. I notice that he still hasn't let go of me, but I don't say anything. I don't want to upset him.

Just ahead of us is a small diner - one of Fork's four diners. Not many people use this diner, but it is known to be a hangout for some of the teenagers. I swallow hard at the thought of Tanya and Rosalie being in there, waiting for me. If Edward has set this up, I think I will actually break down.

We go in and sit in a dark corner. I'm glad that no-one other than an older man sitting at the counter seems to be here. A waitress asks us if we want anything and Edward asks for two teas. I smile at his choice of drink; I'm not a big coffee drinker and apparently, neither is he.

"Why not?" he blurts out, wrapping his big hands around his hot cup.

"Why not what?"

"Why can't you trust anyone anymore?" He pulls the cup to his lips and takes a sip.

"What do you think?" I peek at him over my cup and he stares back, questions swimming in his eyes.

"Is it because of Emmett?" I shrug. "Is it because of Richard?" I choke on my tea and look at him in shock. So he does know what happened.

"I don't want to talk about him," I stutter when I can finally breathe again. I know my face is bright red, and that fact makes me blush even harder.

"What did he do to you?" he inquires, leaning across the table slightly, his hands folded in between us.

"He broke my heart," I admit. Flashes of him come to my mind and I blink back tears. Edward doesn't say anything else and for that I am grateful.

This isn't how he should spend his night. He shouldn't be here with me; he should be at home with his supermodel friends, enjoying his life with people worthy of his time. I'm not and I never will be. People like Edward Cullen don't spend time with the Isabella Swans of the world.

Soon this evening will come to an end and I will have to go home to my now dysfunctional family. Charlie will yell at me for what I said earlier and Renee will cry on my shoulder some more, making me feel awful for even asking about it. If I hadn't said anything, they could have worked it out between themselves. They may have even gotten back together.

"Don't cry," Edward whispers and wipes a tissue under my eye. I nearly lean into his touch but I stop myself just in time. That would be so embarrassing. The silence buzzes around us and I want to fill it, but I don't know how.

"Aren't you cold?" I blurt, looking at his chest. He shrugs and takes another drink from his cup, leaning back against the seat.

"Aren't you?" He turns it around and I shake my head.

"I don't feel the cold much, something to do with my extra layers." I roll my eyes, trying to make a joke out of it, but Edward frowns, almost looking hurt by my insult to myself.

"Don't put yourself down. You're fine that way you are," He mutters, but I pretend not to hear him.

We sit in the diner for another twenty minutes, talking about lighter subjects. I even smile a few times at the stupid jokes he tells, even if they make no sense. We leave and he insists on walking me home. I blush at how much like a date this is, but I'm not stupid, I know it's not. No-one will ever want to date me.

We arrive at my front door and he grabs my hand just before I can go into my house.

"Isabella, can I please be your friend?" His eyes are glassy and innocent and I feel myself nodding before I can think it through properly. "Really?" His eyes light up and a wide smile crosses his face. I find myself smiling with him.

"Yeah, I guess so," I whisper. He pulls me in for a hug and I let him, putting my hands back around him awkwardly.

"Thank you." His voice washes over me like honey and I can feel gooseflesh erupt on my skin. "You should go in." I nod and pull back from him, breathing in one last breath of his scent. "I hope your parents work it out." I shrug. I had completely forgotten about that, to be honest.

"Bye, Edward." I turn and open the door, glancing back at him before I go in.

"Goodnight, Isabella."

**Thanks so much for reading. If I have any new readers, hello and welcome! **

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**Thanks again and please review. **

**Twi-girl09**

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	18. Chapter 16

_**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

_We arrive at my front door and he grabs my hand just before I can go into my house. _

"_Isabella, can I please be your friend?" His eyes are glassy and innocent and I feel myself nodding before I can think it through properly. "Really?" His eyes light up and a wide smile crosses his face. I find myself smiling with him. _

"_Yeah, I guess so," I whisper. He pulls me in for a hug and I let him, putting my hands back around him awkwardly. _

"_Thank you." His voice washes over me like honey and I can feel gooseflesh erupt on my skin. "You should go in." I nod and pull back from him, breathing in one last breath of his scent. "I hope your parents work it out." I shrug. I had completely forgotten about that, to be honest. _

"_Bye, Edward." I turn and open the door, glancing back at him before I go in. _

"_Goodnight, Isabella." _

**Chapter sixteen. **

**Now:**

"So, you and Edward are friends now?" Alice asks, sliding her tray on to the table as we sit down. I nod and throw my bag onto the chair next to me before digging out my bottle of water.

"Yeah. Well, I said we could try to be friends and he seemed okay with it." I shrug.

"But I thought you weren't interested in being his friend?" Alice pouts and I can tell she doesn't like it.

"I wasn't, but he was there and he was being sweet to me, Mary. It's not everyday people are nice to me," I admit, gently putting my hand on hers across the table. "I'm not like you, Mary. I have to grasp at the nice things in life." Like a leech, I add silently. A fat, ugly leech.

She just sighs and eats her lunch silently, occasionally glancing at me across the table. I eat my lunch, as well, keeping my eyes on the table. Today hasn't been all that great. I woke up and left before Renee was out of bed. I just couldn't deal with seeing her so sad again so soon.

When I got in last night, Charlie wasn't there, but Renee was curled up on the couch, tears running down her face as she slept. It hurt my whole being seeing her like that. I woke her up and told her to go up to bed. When she did, I cleaned up the mess in the living room and kitchen before going to bed myself.

I couldn't fall asleep quickly enough; my mind racing with everything that happened during the day. Waking up at the Cullen's', going home and having Renee tell me they are getting a divorce, running away after yelling at Charlie, Edward talking to me then taking me to the diner, me agreeing to be his friend after that amazing hug. In the space of twenty-four hours, my life has changed forever.

I know I should probably call home and see how Renee is doing. Her heart is breaking and there's nothing anyone can do about it. I want to comfort her, but I just don't know how to. I know she wants Charlie to say he doesn't want the divorce anymore and that he wants to work the marriage out, but I just can't see that happening. I wish it would happen, but I just know it won't.

I haven't told Alice that Charlie and Renee may be getting a divorce. She sees Charlie and Renee, as well as her own parents, as being that fairytale couple that stays together forever; just like I did. It would hurt her just like it hurts me. I know she would feel the pain that I always feel, and Alice is too good for that. She doesn't deserve that pain.

Something I have been thinking about is: who will move out the house if they do split? They each own half of it, so who would move out? Would they stay in Forks? Who would I live with? Would I have to go between the two houses like every other child with divorced parents?

I never thought I would have one of 'those' families.

"Room for two more?" I look up to see Edward and Jasper standing just behind Alice. She giggles and pulls out the chair next to her, letting Jasper sit down. I smile at them both and Edward takes the seat next to me after I move my bag to the floor by my feet.

"Is everything okay now?" Edward whispers to me and I look over, seeing the concern on his face. I shrug, but I don't say anything more.

"I think we should do another movie weekend soon! The last one was _so _fun and I had a really great time and I know everyone else did too! What do you think, Isabella?" Alice takes a deep breath and shows me her pearly whites. Edward and Jasper laugh and shake their heads at her.

"I don't know, Alice." And I don't; I can't really go anywhere if I'm needed at home and I know that Renee is going to be needing me a lot more now - especially now.

"What do you mean?" she pouts, her eyes going wide and glassy. I look away from her and out the window we are sitting next to.

"I have stuff going on. Give me a date and I'll let you know if I can come," I sigh, knowing I won't get out of this. If I don't go to her movie night, I know she will make me go shopping with her. It's like detention if you miss an 'Alice' event.

I don't like shopping, I never have really. We don't really have the money to buy nice clothing and shoes, and nothing I like fits me anyway. I see all the girls at school in fitting tops and skinny jeans and I'm always stuck in my tracksuit and baggy tops. I want to be fashionable to some degree, but I just can't

"Yeah, like she has 'stuff' to do!" comes a nasally voice from behind me. "She doesn't have life, fat bitch." I swallow hard and turn to see Lauren and Jessica standing there.

"What do you want?" Edward sneers at them both as he turns to look at them.

"We were just coming to see what you three are doing with the whale," Lauren states, eyeing me in distaste.

"She's not a fucking whale, you dicks!" Edward all but screams and stands up, glaring at them both. The room goes silent and I can see teachers creeping in from outside, surveying the room for any damage. "Why do you always have to put her down? Why does everyone always have to put her down?" He looks around the room and I can see people looking at the floor, avoiding Edward's accusing eyes. "Isabella is the most genuinely nice person in this whole fucking school and you all make her feel like shit!" he yells.

"Edward, please sit down," I whimper, trying to swallow the lump forming in my throat.

"No, I won't sit down!" He runs his hand through his hair and breathes out sharply through his nose. "Maybe you should all get to know someone before you judge them."

"Shut up, Edward! What the hell has happened to you recently?" A loud voice booms and I look over to see Emmett stand up from his table, glaring evilly at Edward. I haven't seen Emmett in a while and I gasp when I see him. His normally happy face is angry and his eyes are both black and swollen. There is a cut on his bottom lip going down towards his chin and a yellow bruise on his left cheek. I guess the guys really did a number on him.

"You shut up, dickhead!" Edward yells, pointing his finger at him. I see Emmett walk around the table and come towards us, his hands balled into fists and his whole body tense.

"You do realize that Isabella will never be skinny, right? If you're hoping for a quick fuck, she will probably eat you." He smirks and stops just in front of Edward. I try not to take what he says to heart, but it still hurts. I can see Edward shaking and I know he wants to add more damage to Emmett's face.

"You need to back off," Edward growls and I stand slowly.

"Edward, please leave it. I'm not worth it," I whisper the last part to myself, but both guys hear it.

"No, you're not worth it, Isabella. You're the reason Charlie is divorcing Mom. Did you know that?" Emmett spits out and two things happen at once.

Alice gasps from behind me and I can hear the pain in it. She's already hurting, just like I am right now. The second thing is the amount of pain that surges through my body at his declaration. A pained cry leaves my lips and I clutch my chest. It feels like someone is stabbing me in the heart over and over.

The pain spreads through my body and I feel like I need to sit down. I swallow hard and blink back the tears. Why would he say something like that? Surely, it's not my fault. How can it be my fault? I haven't done anything to make them fall out of love. At least, I don't think I have.

"Yeah, Isabella. Charlie doesn't want your fat ass anymore, so he's leaving Mom. He's sick of the sight of you, just like everyone else." I clench my eyes tightly shut when Edward starts yelling at Emmett. I try not to listen, and everything seems to go fuzzy.

Maybe Emmett is right - I'm a waste of space. I take up room that someone else could have. I eat food that people all over the world needs. It's not like I have many friends; Alice, Jasper, and now, Edward. If I went away, they would get over it. They wouldn't miss me too much. I'm just an inconvenience; a _huge _inconvenience.

I push past Edward and Emmett and head for the doors, not stopping when Alice's pained voice calls my name. It's entirely my fault. Of course, Charlie wouldn't want to be stuck with me anymore. He wanted a son to play football with and his wife to be there when he got home, and he got me with them both. He didn't want a daughter to protect. He didn't want me.

I slowly walk home through the woods. No-one will see me here from the roads, but I can see the roads in case I need to run away from a murderer or something. Yeah, a murderer in Forks. I nearly roll my eyes at the thought. Nothing ever happens in Forks.

I get home eventually and go straight to my room, not even bothering to see if Renee is in. She is supposed to be at work, but I don't know if she would be going in anytime soon. A broken heart is all it takes to mess up a whole life. People all over the world know that. Everyone has their heart broken at least once in a life time.

I lay under my covers for a few hours, my mind blank. I refuse to think about anything. I don't want to think about all the hurt and disgust I cause people. I don't want to think about anything that hurts because I have had enough.

A tap on my window makes fear shoot through my whole body. What is that? I sit up slowly, my eyes glued to the window. I'm nearly three stories of the ground, what could possibly be tapping my window? The tap sounds again and I swing my legs off the bed and shakily make my way to the window.

Throwing the curtains open, I look out into the darkness, but I can't see anything.

"Isabella?" I jump when someone whispers my name and I look into the tree to see Edward sitting there, a backpack over his shoulder and a cigarette in his hand.

"What the hell are you doing?" I hiss, looking down and seeing the drop from the tree. When I look back up, he shrugs at me and takes the backpack off his shoulder.

"Here." He tosses it to me and I just catch it. Next, he throws his cigarette butt onto the ground in front of the tree and tries to climb in the window. My heart speeds up and I start to panic. What if he falls? How would I explain all of this to Renee if she finds out?

My worries stop when he is safely in my room, standing in front of me and smiling widely. I take in a deep breath and try to calm my hammering heart.

"What on earth are you doing here?" I whisper. Even I can hear the slight fright in my voice.

"Alice was annoying me, so…" he trails off.

"So you thought you would come and annoy me?" I ask, my voice louder than it probably should be.

"Yeah." He smirks and walks over to his bag that I have put on my bed. He sits on the bed next to it and opens it up.

"What is in that bag?" I walk over and stand just close enough so I can see.

"My cigarettes, my wallet, my keys, an extra pair of pants and some more socks. Umm, there's a tooth brush in there, too, and some other stuff." He shrugs and closes the bag back up.

"Why do you have it?"

"Just in case I need it." He shrugs. I nod and look down at the floor.

What is Edward Cullen doing in my bedroom? I don't think he has ever been in here before. A thought comes to mind and I quickly scan the room, hoping I don't see anything embarrassing anywhere. When I don't, I relax slightly. A chuckle brings me out of my scan and I look to see Edward watching me, a wide smile on his face.

"Are you going to sit down?" He moves his bag to the floor and pats the space next to him. I however, go over to my desk and sit on the chair there, pulling at my shirt sleeves.

"Why are you really here, Edward?" I whisper, worried that someone could hear us if we are too loud.

"I wanted to come and see if you were okay. Alice said you weren't answering your cell." He tries to make me meet his eyes, but I refuse to. "Are you okay?" I shrug. No, I'm not. "Don't worry about Emmett, he's a lying prick."

"He's my brother, Edward," I sigh and pull at my ponytail. "No matter what he does to me or anyone else, I love him. I hate him, but I love him." I groan and try to think of a good way to put it. "You wouldn't understand," I finally state and look up at him.

"I do understand," he says sympathetically. "If Alice killed someone, I would still love her."

"Not that she ever would. She would be too worried about getting blood on her outfit." I smile and he throws his head back, a loud laugh spilling from his lips. I jump up and run over to him, putting my hand over his mouth. He stops laughing and I freeze. Slowly, I back away from him, my eyes wide.

Neither of us says anything, but I can't hear anything from downstairs, so I know he hasn't been heard. I want to breathe out in relief, but I don't. I can't believe I just did that. Why did I have to touch Edward?

"Sorry," I squeak. "It's just, you were loud and Renee and Charlie and..." He holds his hand up and I stop talking. I can feel the blood in my face, making me light up like a Christmas tree.

"It's okay, Isabella." He smiles and pats the space next to him again. I slowly walk over and sit, leaving as much room between us as possible. "Isabella?" I shiver as my name rolls off of his tongue.

"Yeah?" I look down at my lap, playing with my fingers.

"Can I call you by a nickname?" I laugh quietly at the randomness of his question.

"What?" I choke out, taking in a deep breath.

"You know, a nickname. Jasper gets to call you 'Iz' and I want to call you something." He shrugs, but I can hear something in his voice.

"Sure, as long as it isn't 'fat-ass' or something," I try to joke, but he just glares at the floor.

"How about, Bella?" His eyes meet mine and I think about it.

"No," I huff. He looks confused and hurt by my rejection. "It means beautiful in Italian," I explain, hoping he will catch on.

"Bella it is, then." He smirks and I roll my eyes.

**Thank you all for reading. **

**I can not believe the amount of reviews this story already has. I never, ever, thought this story would get that many reviews because this was just something that I felt I needed to do. Thank you, each and every one of you. It means so much to me to read your comments and thought about this story. **

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**Thanks for reading. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	19. Chapter 17

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

_It's okay, Isabella." He smiles and pats the space next to him again. I slowly walk over and sit, leaving as much room between us as possible. _

_"Isabella?" I shiver as my name rolls off of his tongue._

_"Yeah?" I look down at my lap, playing with my fingers._

"_Can I call you by a nickname?" I laugh quietly at the randomness of his question. _

"_What?" I choke out, taking in a deep breath. _

"_You know, a nickname. Jasper gets to call you 'Iz' and I want to call you something." He shrugs, but I can hear something in his voice. _

"_Sure, as long as it isn't 'fat-ass' or something," I try to joke, but he just glares at the floor. _

"_How about, Bella?" His eyes meet mine and I think about it. _

"_No," I huff. He looks confused and hurt by my rejection. "It means beautiful in Italian," I explain, hoping he will catch on. _

"_Bella it is, then." He smirks and I roll my eyes. _

**Chapter seventeen. **

**Now:**

"Bella?" I look over at Edward. He's lying back on my bed, flipping through the book that was on my bedside table. He looks back at me and I ask him what he wants. "Are you okay now? You know, with this whole fucked up divorce thing." I shrug.

"I have to be. My mom needs me to be okay." He shakes his head with a small smile on his lips.

"You're one of a fucking kind, Bella. One of a kind." This time I shake my head at him. He looks back to the book, silently mouthing the words he is reading.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" I ask. Even I can hear the hurt in my voice. His eyes flash to mine and I can see he didn't mean for me to take that that the way I did.

"I didn't mean it in a bad way, Bella. I just meant that you are so different from anyone I have met before. You're kind and thoughtful and such a good fucking person." I fight back a small smile at his words. I know what he is saying is completely wrong, but it's still nice to hear something like that.

"Stop fucking thinking it isn't true, right now." I look at him in shock. Is he a mind reader now?

"Sorry, Dad." I smirk slightly and he laughs quietly, shaking his head.

He sets the book down on the bedside table next to him and sits on the edge of the bed, looking right at me. I nervously push a strand of hair behind my ear while biting my lip. What is he looking at? I try to sit up a little straighter to stop my stomach from scrunching up, but it doesn't work very well.

His eyes catch the mirror behind me on the vanity and he runs his fingers through his hair, trying to flatten it, but it just makes it worse. He smirks at his reflection, studying every detail of his face, an almost sad look on his face. I watch him, wondering what he is doing and why he is doing it. He knows he's good looking; he doesn't have to look at himself like that all the time.

"What do you see when you look in the mirror?" he asks, his eyes finally leaving his reflection and looking at me. I swallow hard and shrug, turning around to look at myself in the mirror.

_I see a fat girl who wishes she was someone else._ I don't say it out loud, but I can't stop myself from thinking it.

"I don't want to talk about it." I shake my head and stand up, moving away from the mirror.

"Do you want to know what I see?" he asks, but doesn't give me time to answer. He is already up and sitting in the chair in front of the vanity. "I see an average looking guy with hair that just doesn't do anything. I see green eyes, that I wish were blue and I see a scruffy face, that definitely needs a shave. I see a body that could use some work, but it's okay I suppose. I think that I am too tall and I think that I need to shave my hair off," he finishes with a laugh and I scowl at him.

"You have beautiful eyes." I slap my hand over my mouth as soon as I say it. He raises an eye brow and I want to hit myself. What did I have to say that for? Why am I so stupid? God, I need to think things through before I speak.

"Why, thank you Bella," he smirks and my face seems to get hotter and hotter.

"Don't you think it is time for you to leave?" I ask, sounding a bit rude, but I don't care right now. It's late and I'm getting tired.

"Oh, okay. I guess I'll see you at school." He shrugs and climbs out of the window after grabbing his bag. I feel awful, but when I get to the window, he is already gone.

I shut the window and fall onto my bed, my mind racing with thoughts of Edward.

Waking up, I groan when I realize I have to go to school again. I don't want to go, but I know that I have to apologize to Edward for being so rude last night. I don't know what got into me, but I was so embarrassed at what I said. Who the hell would say something like that? I am so stupid!

I shower and dress quickly before going into the kitchen and grabbing something for lunch. I decide on fruit and water again, and throw them into my bag. I put my cell phone in the front pocket and grab a banana to eat on the way. Going into the hall, I pull on my raincoat and my shoes before opening the door.

I freeze when I turn around from closing the door. Alice is standing by a silver Volvo, a big grin on her face.

"Isabella, come on. Get in." She smiles and gets back into the car, waving me over through her open window. I slowly walk over and open the back door. Jasper is sitting on the other side, a big smile on his face.

"Mornin' Iz." He smirks as I sit down and put on the seatbelt.

"Hey Jasper, Alice, and Edward." I blush when I see Edward looking back at me through the rear-view mirror.

"Bella." He smiles and nods his head in greeting.

"Bella? Oh great, he has a nickname for you, too,." Alice huffs and sticks out her bottom lip, making all of us laugh. Alice joins in the laughter as Edward pulls back onto the road and starts the drive to school. The ride is full of Alice singing along to the radio and me looking out the window.

After pulling into a parking spot at the school, Edward turns off the car and Alice all but falls out of the car. I shake my head at her and grab my bag. As I go to open the door, Edward is already there, waiting with a wide smile on his face. I blush and climb out, thanking him in the process.

We stand around the car, waiting for the bell to ring. My face hasn't returned to its normal colour since I got out of the car because I can feel everyone's eyes on me. I can hear their whispers as they walk past us.

'_Why is she standing with the Cullens?'_

'_Is she Alice's charity case now or something? There is no other reason for her to be friends with Swan.'_

'_Maybe she's gotten so fat she can't even walk to school now.'_

I know that Edward can hear them, as well, by the looks he gives to everyone that walks past, but it doesn't stop their stares. I'm not surprised they are shocked I am with them, and they gave me a ride to school. I'm pretty surprised myself.

"I'm sorry I kicked you out last night, Edward," I whisper so that no-one hears. He shrugs and looks down at the floor, his fingers running through his hair. I can tell that I have upset him and my heart clenches painfully. "I never meant to upset you; I was just so embarrassed that I said that. I'll understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore." He looks up at me and he shakes his head.

"Of course I want to be your friend, Bella," he sighs, his voice sounding tired.

"Why are you so stressed then?" I press, wanting to know why he seems so…sad.

"I'm fed up with what these people are saying. They don't even know you." He gestures to the people walking past us and I nod understandingly.

"If you want to be my friend, you better get used to it." I try to joke, but he doesn't seem to find it funny.

"Isabella, are you free this Saturday?" Alice chimes in, skipping over to me from her place next to Jasper. Edward walks away over to a nearby forest and Jasper goes with him. My eyes stay on Edward's back, wondering where he's going.

"Um, I don't know, Alice. Where are they going?" I ask, my voice on edge. Alice follows the direction I'm looking and shrugs.

"That's where Edward goes to smoke. Maybe they are doing that. Anyway, I was thinking about doing the movie night again." She bounces right back to what she wants to do, Edward and Jasper forgotten.

"I'll ask Renee." I shrug, finally looking at Alice. When I do, I see her sad face when I say Renee's name.

"I can't believe they are getting a divorce." She groans, her voice sad.

"I know, neither can I." I admit.

"How are you feeling about it?" she asks in a small voice. I tell her that I honestly don't know. "Mom said that Renee has been calling her and asking for advice. Mom - who we both know knows everything - doesn't even know what to say to her. Do you think Renee will be okay?" Alice asks and I shrug just as the bell rings. We both say goodbye to each other and head off in opposite directions towards the school.

**Hey everyone. I am so sorry about the long wait, this chapter just didn't want to be written for some reason. That is also the reason why this chapter is so short and so bad. I am sorry. **

**I can't believe the amount of reviews I got for the last chapter. It was more than double my record. Thank you all so much! You guys rock (:**

**Anyway, I want to thank my BETA, Ruth Perk. Awesome woman. Thank you so much! **

**Please leave me a review, even if it is just to tell me how bad this is. I like constructive criticism.**

**I have Twitter! So maybe follow me? The link is on my profile. **

**Thanks for reading. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	20. Chapter 18

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

"_Um, I don't know, Alice. Where are they going?" I ask, my voice on edge. Alice follows the direction I'm looking and shrugs. _

"_That's where Edward goes to smoke. Maybe they are doing that. Anyway, I was thinking about doing the movie night again." She bounces right back to what she wants to do, Edward and Jasper forgotten. _

"_I'll ask Renee." I shrug, finally looking at Alice. When I do, I see her sad face when I say Renee's name._

"_I can't believe they are getting a divorce." She groans, her voice sad. _

"_I know, neither can I." I admit._

"_How are you feeling about it?" she asks in a small voice. I tell her that I honestly don't know. "Mom said that Renee has been calling her and asking for advice. Mom - who we both know knows everything - doesn't even know what to say to her. Do you think Renee will be okay?" Alice asks and I shrug just as the bell rings. We both say goodbye to each other and head off in opposite directions towards the school. _

**Chapter eighteen. **

**Now:**

"Hey, Alice. Do you know where Edward is?" I ask, sitting down opposite her at the table. Edward had missed last period and he has yet to make an appearance.

"Umm, no. Sorry, Isabella. Here comes Jasper, ask him."

"Ask me what?" He bites into a chocolate bar and sits down on the chair backwards, making Alice roll her eyes.

"Do you know where my brother is?" she asks after giving him a small kiss on his cheek.

"Um, no, sorry. I'm sure he'll turn up." He tries to assure us. I nod and open my juice, taking a small sip. Alice and Jasper keep the conversation flowing with little input from me. I can't stop wondering where Edward could be. He never said that he wouldn't be coming to lunch. In fact, he asked us to save him a seat.

When I saw him second period, he seemed okay and was smiling widely at everyone. He never said he was going anywhere for lunch. He could have told someone where he was going. It's so irresponsible for him to not tell anyone where he was going.

I pause in my train of thought with wide eyes. Why am I worried about where he is? Unlike me, he doesn't only have three friends. He could be with Tyler, or Eric, or even Emmett. I swallow hard at that thought. Maybe all of this was a set-up? Maybe Emmett was in this from the beginning? I wouldn't put it past him. I hardly know Edward; how do I know that this whole 'friendship' thing is legit?

"Iz, don't worry. I'm sure Edward is fine," Jasper drawls. I nod and bite my bottom lip, almost drawing blood.

"Isabella, Edward always does this. He will turn up." Alice puts her hand over mine and I nod again, thinking everything over. I don't have many friends, so I need to make sure that the ones I do have are okay. What if Edward has been mugged and is in an alley somewhere? What would I do if he has run away and I never see him again? I have so few friends, and I need them to be okay. He has to be okay.

"Do you think we should look for him?" I can hear the blood pounding behind my ears as the panic builds up within me.

"Isabella," Alice sighs. "He's fine." I nod and sit back in my chair, my eyes fixed on the door. He doesn't show up. The bell rings and I head to Biology, the one class where Edward sits next to me. I hope he turns up for this lesson and if he doesn't, I am going to look for him.

I walk out of the lunch room with Alice and Jasper trailing behind me. I can see the looks people are shooting at me as I push past them all, just trying to get to class. Please, Edward. Please be there.

I get to the class room and my heart sinks when I don't see him anywhere. Why am I so worried about him? I don't understand why, but I just need to know that he is okay. I need to see his face and know that nothing has happened to him. I have been worried about Edward and Jasper since they beat up Emmett. What if he wants revenge? What if he wants to hurt them like they hurt him?

I sit in my seat with a sigh and get slowly my book out, whispers sounding all around me. I know I probably look like a mess right now - worry written all over my face and my eyes frantic. I pull on my ponytail and bite my lip, praying to God that Edward walks through that door.

God must have heard me because Edward comes stumbling in not one minute later. His hair is wildly out of control and his eyes are red rimmed. He sways as he walks over to our table; his face lighting up when he sees me.

"Hey, Bells." Edward smirks and sits down next to me. I immediately pinch my nose and glare at him in disbelief and disgust. So, that's where he has been!

"What the hell, Edward?" I hiss out, my voice sounding nasally because of the hold on my nose.

"What?" He smirks at me.

"It's…" I check the clock "…just after two and you are in school. What do you think you are doing?" I finally let go of my nose, but the smell still hits me.

"Your point?" he huffs, looking towards the front of the room.

"You're stoned!" I whisper-yell, hoping the teacher doesn't hear and kicks Edward out. Edward smirks again and shrugs, leaning back in his chair.

"Well done. Ten points to Bella." He laughs; throwing his head back and making everyone look over in our direction.

"We need to get out of here," I hiss, trying to think of a way to get Edward home.

"No, we don't. I'm fine, Bella. Jesus." He shakes his head in disbelief. I shake my head as well and then shrug. If he doesn't want to leave, I can't make him do anything. I open my book and grab my pen, writing down everything that is on the board. Mr. Banner talks about something to do with the reproductive system, but my mind is elsewhere.

What has Edward taken? I can smell the weed on him, but has he taken something else with that? Who gave it to him? Why does he feel the need to take drugs? Has someone said something to him? Is it me? Does he need to be high to be around me now? Does he finally realize that I'm not someone he wants to be associated with?

"You have pretty hair," he whispers under his breath, laughing to himself softly. His hand comes out and grabs my long ponytail, twirling it around his fingers. I lean away from him, taking my hair out of his grasp and I put it over my shoulder so he can't reach it.

"Why did you do that?" he asks, almost sounding hurt. I choose to ignore him. I can't believe he would take drugs and then come to class! How irresponsible is he? I knew that he did drugs, but I haven't seen him stoned other than Christmas; but I got drunk with him, so I don't really remember all of it.

"Bella,"he whispers, leaning on the table and trying to see my face. "Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella," he repeats, folding his arms on the table and leaning his head on them so he can still see me. He keeps saying my name and I finally look at him, not even trying to hide my disgust with him.

"What, Edward?" My voice is hard as I finally meet his eyes. The emerald green is now mossy and red rimmed. They are glazed over and I can see questions swimming behind them.

"I'm so fucking sorry," he slurs, his eyes burning into mine.

"What for?" My voice is hard and he realizes this, too.

"For this." He gestures to himself and I shrug. "Don't act like you don't care because I know you do," he groans and buries his face in his folded arms, shielding his face from me. I sigh and put my hand up, hoping to catch Mr. Banner's attention. He sees me and asks what I want.

"Can I go to the nurse, please? I don't feel too good." He raises his eye brow but nods anyway, looking from me to Edward.

"Take him with you. He looks like he needs something, too." Edward grabs his bag and walks out the room, not looking at me. I sigh and pack away my things, trailing behind Edward. I can hear what everyone is saying in the room as I leave, but I ignore it all.

Closing the door as I leave, I see Edward leaning up against the wall next to the door, one leg bent, supporting him and his arms crossed. He looks like the ultimate bad boy standing there like that, all gruff with this morning's stubble. All he needs is a leather jacket over his shoulder and a cigarette hanging out of him mouth to complete the picture.

"Please fucking talk to me, Bella. Shit!" he groans and pushes off of the wall as I walk past him. His hand grabs mine and he turns me around to face him.

"What do you want me to say, Edward? Hmm? That it's okay for you to get stoned and that I will support you with your habit? Because I won't, I won't watch you kill yourself!" I growl and pull my hand out of his grasp. I stomp down the hall and I can hear his footsteps behind me.

"Why are you so angry with me?" He jogs so that he is in front of me and walks backwards, his eyes trying to meet mine. I look to the floor, not wanting to look at him.

"Can we not talk about this?" I sigh.

"No, Bella. Fucking talk to me." He puts his hands on my shoulders, stopping me from moving forward.

"You really want to know?" I ask and he nods. "I think that if you have a nice life, why ruin it with drugs and other things that can kill you. I have been worried sick about you all day because you didn't tell anyone where you were going," I hiss, the anger almost seeping out of me. "I think that if you have a good body, like you do, why ruin it with things like drugs? I hate that you take drugs to make yourself feel better. You should live in my world for a day and realize how hard it is for someone who isn't worshipped," I finish and blow my bangs out of my face.

I look to see Edward smirking at me and I feel my face flush with anger. When he sees my reaction, he full out laughs; throwing his head back and putting his hands on his stomach.

"How is this funny? Hmm? Tell me how this is funny?" I hit him lightly on the chest, not being able to help myself.

"It's just….your face," he blurts out between fits of laughter. I huff and roll my eyes, trying to fight off the small smile creeping onto my face. I can't help it; seeing Edward so carefree and happy is nice. I wish I could laugh out loud like he is doing.

"It's not funny." I can't help the giggle that leaves my mouth and he smiles at me.

"Sorry, Bella." He laughs and I shake my head at him.

"Will you let me take you home now?" I blurt then blush when I realize what I said.

"I'll let you take me anywhere." He winks and I shake my head, going towards the front entrance of the school. He follows after me and towards his car.

We arrive at his car and I bite my lips, a frown forming on my face. How am I going to get him home? I mean, I can drive, but I haven't driven in a few months. Charlie used to let me drive his car every weekend, but that stopped a few months back - around the time that he stopped coming home for dinner and when Renee began to get sad. Sure, it wasn't as bad as it is now, but it was still horrible.

"Give me your keys." I hold my hand out and he raises his brow.

"You can't drive." He smirks and I just wiggle my fingers, motioning for the keys. He eyes me, but puts the keys in my hand anyway. I unlock the car and slide into the driver's seat. He gets in the passenger seat and watches me as I start the car and pull out of the parking lot.

The drive is quiet, mostly Edward humming and looking at me as I drive. I bite my lip and make sure I keep to the speed limits, not wanting to get in trouble, or damage Edward's car. I think he loves his Volvo more than he loves anything else. If I damaged it, I think our friendship would go out the window as quick as it started.

We arrive at the Cullens' and Edward arches a brow at me in question.

"What the fuck are we doing here?"

"This is where you live, Edward." I smirk, still looking out the windshield. I don't look over at him but I can see him shaking his head out of the corner of my eye.

"Yeah, but Esme is going to go fucking nuts." I scan the front of the house and glance over at him.

"There aren't any cars here and I can't see anyone in the house. I would say you're safe." I smile and park the car, taking out the keys and climbing out. He follows and sways up to the house after me. I unlock the door and hand him his keys, saying a quick 'goodbye'.

"Where the fuck are you going?" he asks as I turn to go down the porch steps.

"Home?" It comes out as a question when I look back at him.

"Come in for a bit. Please?" I nod and go into to the house. He closes the door after me. I stand awkwardly and he gestures for me to go into the living room. I go and sit on the love seat, waiting for him to sit down. He sways unsteadily before falling onto the seat next to me. I try to put as much space between us as possible, but it doesn't seem to work on the small loveseat.

He leans back and rests the side of his face on the back of the loveseat, looking at me. I also lean back and match his pose, looking at him.

"Why do you take drugs, Edward?" I'm almost afraid of his answer, but I can't help but ask it.

"Why do you think so little of yourself?" he shoots back. I smile slightly.

"Touché." He laughs lightly.

"You're a sweet girl, Bella. You should be more confident." He nods his head as he says it and I feel my face flush.

"Thank you, Edward."

"For what?" His eyes cloud with confusion and I put my hand on his hand that is resting on the seat between us.

"For being nice to me."

**Thank you all for reading, Favouriting and alerting this story (:**

**I have been nominated for 'The Sunflower Awards'! If like this story, maybe vote for it on there? The categories I have been nominated in are on my profile as well as the link to vote. Even if you don't want to vote for this story, check it out anyway and vote for someone else! **

**I want to thank my BETA, Ruth Perk, you rock! Thank you so much.**

**Please leave me a review?**

**I have Twitter! The link is on my profile so if you do to, maybe follow me? **

**Thanks for reading. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	21. Chapter 19

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

"_Why do you take drugs, Edward?" I'm almost afraid of his answer, but I can't help but ask it. _

"_Why do you think so little of yourself?" he shoots back. I smile slightly. _

"_Touché." He laughs lightly. _

"_You're a sweet girl, Bella. You should be more confident." He nods his head as he says it and I feel my face flush. _

"_Thank you, Edward."_

"_For what?" His eyes cloud with confusion and I put my hand on his hand that is resting on the seat between us. _

"_For being nice to me." _

**Chapter nineteen. **

**Now:**

We sit silently for a while, not talking. I look around the room, trying to decide if I should go back to school or make sure that Edward is okay before his parents get home. I know that if Esme saw him like this, she would flip out. I can still remember when he told me about how mad Esme was with him when she found his weed at Christmas. If she saw him like this, it would kill her.

I don't know why I want to stay and look after him. Maybe it's because he is so nice to me. I think he is a complete idiot for getting stoned. Why would anyone turn to drugs? I just don't understand. My life is bad, but I would never, ever, choose to do something like that to myself. All it does it make you feel like crap once the high wears off. I have read about drugs at school and on the internet; I know how easy it is to get hooked.

Maybe Edward already is. Maybe he needs drugs to feel normal and I just haven't noticed him like this before. Maybe he just took it too far and didn't stop once he got what he wanted. How do I know that he isn't addicted to the toxins that are currently in his body? Could I help him get off the drugs if he is addicted? Do I want to?

Well, of course I do. If I can't make my own life better, why not help make someone else's perfect? If I could just help end one person's suffering, I would feel better about myself. Maybe if I could help, I wouldn't be a useless waste of space anymore.

I smile at the thought and look over to see Edward sound asleep on the couch next to me, his mouth slightly open and soft snores coming from him. His eyelids flutter ever so slightly and a soft sigh leaves his lips. I smile wider at the sight of him. He looks so young and carefree as he sleeps, childlike. His hair is a mess and he has a slight pink tint to his cheeks.

I try to slowly stand up, trying not to move the loveseat too much. As soon as my hands go to the seat next to me to brace myself, his hand snakes out and grabs my wrist, making my eyes snap to his. They are slightly open, watching me as I slump back down onto the seat.

"Where the fuck, are you going?" he asks, his voice thick with sleep.

"You need to sleep this off, Edward," I tell him, slowly taking my wrist away from his grasp. It doesn't hurt; it's just making me uncomfortable.

"Where the fuck, are you going?" he repeats, daring me with his eyes to not tell him again.

"Back to school. Gym starts in ten minutes." I shrug.

"You can't go back to school today. Not without me being there," he tells me. What? Why can't I go to school if he isn't there?

"Why?"

"It doesn't matter. Just promise me you won't go back into school today." He sighs, yawning and sitting up.

"Edward, please tell me?" I ask and he shakes his head. "Has something happened to make you take drugs?" I whisper hesitantly, afraid of his answer.

"For fucks sake, Bella!" he explodes, standing up and pacing the length of the floor in front of me. "I ask you not to go into school today and you give me the fucking Spanish inquisition!" I bite my lip and look down at my hands, my chest constricting painfully. "Can't you do this one fucking favor for me, Bella? Just this one?"

I just want to help; I didn't mean to upset him. I can't have him angry at me, I just can't. I'll do anything that he asks me to, I just want to know what made him take drugs. It has to be something to do with me. If I can't go back to school and he has taken drugs in the same day, it surely has to be linked.

What am I saying? Everything isn't about me all the time. My parents are divorcing, Edward is taking drugs, I'm sure Alice is having a problem somewhere right about now. I need to help others and not worry about myself so much. Sure, I deal with some bad stuff, but doesn't everyone?

"Okay, Edward. I'm sorry," I mutter. He pauses in his pacing and I glance up to see him staring at me. He shakes his head and starts to pace again, his hands running violently through his hair.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have… God! Why does everything have to be so confusing with you around me? It's like I can't fucking think straight." He keeps pacing, his fingers twitching towards his jeans' pocket. What is in there? "I need a smoke." He pulls out the packet and I sigh in relief that it wasn't more drugs. He takes one out and lights it up, inhaling deeply.

"I should go soon." I glance at the clock, seeing that gym would be starting now. I should be there running around with all the girls of Forks High and hoping to lose a few pounds. Maybe I should take up a sport? Maybe Forks could start a girls' football team? I can't run, but I could be in the defense line. They wouldn't be able to tackle me, that's for sure.

"Why? Where you going?" he asks quickly, his voice panicked. He all but runs over to me and kneels in front of me, trying to look into my eyes. The whole thing happens so quickly I just stare at him with wide, surprised eyes. Is this what happens when he takes drugs?

"I should go. If Esme comes home early, you could just tell her you're not feeling well. I'll tell Renee the same thing." I watch him, waiting for his reaction.

"Can I come by later?" he asks, his voice almost sounding shy. "To your bedroom again, I mean," he clarifies. I feel my face flush, just imagining if someone walked in and heard what he just said. Anyone could have taken that the wrong way and assumed something. His reputation would be in worse shape than it is now.

"I think you should sleep this off, Edward. You need to get these drugs out of your system before you even think of driving. I'm seriously thinking about stealing your keys until tomorrow," I state, looking him dead in the eye. If he was to crash his car because of drugs, it would just kill Esme and Alice. Carlisle would also be devastated and, if I'm being honest with myself, it would hurt me as well.

He nods and I stand up again, waiting for him to stop me. He doesn't and after a quick goodbye, Edward shows me to the door, promising to sleep for the rest of the day. And to shower, because if Esme smells him, she will know exactly what he has been doing instead of being inschool.

The walk home is nice. The wind blows softly around me and isn't too harsh. There isn't anyone shouting out their windows at me, so that's an added bonus. Young children and their mothers walk down the sidewalk, having just finished their school day. A businessman rushes past me, his briefcase in one hand and his phone, being held to his ear, in the other. His tie hangs over his shoulder due to his running. He knocks his shoulder against mine, muttering a quiet apology, looking almost distressed that he has to leave and not see if I'm okay. I give him a smile and he keeps running. A mother smiles kindly at me as she passes, her small child skipping just in front of her.

Arriving home, I shut the door quietly behind me, listening for any signs of my mom. Hearing a loud sniffle coming from the kitchen, I put my bag on the floor and slowly walk in there. Her back is to the door as she madly whips whatever she has in her bowl. Cookies, cakes, muffins, every sweet snack I can think of are piled on plates all over the kitchen counters. I should have seen this coming. Ever since I can remember, whenever Renee is sad or angry, she bakes. This is one of the reasons I am as big as I am. After the incident when I was ten, she cooked nonstop for a week, only sleeping when she passed out and nearly set the kitchen on fire.

I sit quietly on a chair at the table and Renee looks over her shoulder at me quickly before returning to her baking. I watch her back as she moves; her shoulders are hunched over and her head is bent forward. Her hand comes up every so often, wiping at her eyes and nose with a wrinkled old tissue. The music that normally plays is off, making the kitchen almost deadly silent. It's sad to see Renee now compared to the old Renee - the one that would dance around, laughing loudly at the stupid lyrics that she would know by heart. I miss that Renee, the care-free, flighty Renee.

I stand up and walk over to her, wrapping my arms around her from behind and watch her pour the mixture onto trays. She offers me a small smile over her shoulder. I let go and lean on the counter, watching as she bends and puts the tray in the oven.

"I guess I should ask why you're home," she tries to joke, but it falls flat.

"I got a headache in Bio." I shrug, knowing she will believe me. She nods, her eyes scanning the counter tops.

"Have a cake. There are plenty, and it will help your headache." She has always said that something sweet will make everything better. That's why she bakes when she is sad, because it will make everything better.

"Thanks, Mom." I pick up a small fairy cake and nibble on it slowly. It's good, but then again, everything Renee bakes is good. All her recipes were Grandma Higgenbottom's, and Renee got her 'cake and cookies' recipe book when she died. Renee wipes her hands on the tea-towel resting on her shoulder and grabs a cake for herself, biting into it.

"Who could that be?" she mutters when the doorbell rings. She puts the tea-towel down and goes to get the door, leaving me in the kitchen. "Hello," she says, her voice sounding a little better. I lean around to see who it is and the color leaves my face. Why are they here?

"Hello, Renee, dear. How are you feeling today?" Her soft voice floats through to the kitchen and my heart fills with the motherly love she gives off unknowingly.

"I'm fine, thank you. Please come in." I hear them shuffle into the living room and the door shuts behind them. I slowly edge my way to the living room and peak around the door. "What's Edward doing out of school today?" Renee asks, her voice sounding so curious.

"He got a headache in Biology," Esme tells her, glancing at Edward out the corner of her eye. Renee's eyes snap to mine and she raises her eye brow at me, making blood rush to my face. What is she thinking? Does she think that Edward and I are doing things instead of going to school? Sure, I took him home today, but that was for a good reason. He promised he would go straight to bed when I left.

Both Esme and Edward look up at me, probably wondering what Renee is staring at. Esme smiles kindly at me and Edward smirks, making me want to hit him. What is he doing? He promised me he would go to bed. I frown at the floor, silently trying to let off some of my annoyance. He promised.

"Isabella, dear. What are you doing out of school today?" Esme asks kindly, looking between me and Renee with a smile on her face. I know that if Renee tells her that I also had a headache, Esme would jump to conclusions.

"I asked her to come home early. Today's a down day," Renee says, her eyes tearing up. Esme immediately jumps up, going to her side and holding her in her arms. She rubs her hair softly and coos at her, trying to stem her tears. I push off the doorway and go into the kitchen, grabbing the box of tissues Renee keeps in there. They are supposed to be for the living room, but Renee has to be different somehow.

I turn back around and gasp, dropping the tissues to the floor. I step back a pace and look up at Edward. His eyes are still red and slightly dilated, but they aren't half as bad as they were when I left him.

"Your mom said can you turn the oven off. The cakes should be ready?" he says it as a question and I nod, turning around and turning the oven off. I open the oven and pull the cakes out with an oven mitt, placing them on the cooling rack. I can feel his eyes on me the whole time and my hands start shaking. Anger begins to seep through me. He told me he would sleep this off!

"What are you doing here?" I ask, whirling around and glaring at him. He puts his hands up in mock surrender, a smirk on his face. "You said you would sleep it off," I hiss at him.

"Esme saw my car and came up to my room. What could I do?" His smirk turns into his own glare, burning straight through me. I swallow and look to the floor, the anger leaving.

"I forgot about that," I admit quietly, feeling like a right idiot. How could I have forgotten about his car? Edward always drives to and from school, so Esme knows he wouldn't leave it at home. Why didn't I park it in the garage or around the corner? I just don't think. Stupid, stupid Isabella.

"Yeah, you did." He glares harder at me when I chance a look up at him, making my eyes snap back to the floor. He huffs and storms out of the room, going back into the living room. Pain suddenly fills my chest and I feel tears prickle the backs of my eyes. Why is he being so mean to me today? I take in a deep breath, trying to get ahold of myself. I have no right to be hurt, I knew this would happen.

Swallowing hard, I bend down and pick up the tissues before following behind Edward, trying to make the hurt leave my face. I hand the box to Esme and she smiles, taking one out and dabbing Renee's cheeks. Sitting on the recliner, I pick at my nails, trying to look anywhere but at Edward.

Why does it hurt so much? He said a few nasty words to me, why does it feel like all these past years didn't exist? The pain from the years that I have been hit and spat on just floats away and new pain explodes in my chest because Edward glared at me and my stupidity. I knew that it would turn out like this. I knew Edward would end up being disgusted with me; I just didn't think it would be so soon. I thought that someone up there was giving me a break, if only for a little while, but they are already ripping it away from me. I guess I truly don't deserve happiness.

"Isabella, don't pick at your nails." Renee scolds, her voice thick. I look down and realize I have made the skin around my nail bleed. How did I not notice that? I put my thumb in my mouth and suck on it, feeling the sting come. A throat clearing comes from my right and I know that Edward is trying to get my attention. I ignore him. Why should I let him off so easily? He hurt me, sure not physically, but the emotional and mental pain is so much worse.

Not many people realize that. Being told the same thing every day for a year is enough to make someone believe it. If you have brown hair and someone tells you that you have blonde hair every day of the year, you may start thinking that your hair is blonde. Even if you know that it isn't, you may have the nagging feeling in the back of your mind that you could have blonde hair and just have not realized it. Yeah, bad logic.

He clears his throat again and both of our mothers look at him.

"Would you like a drink, Edward?" my mother asks, wiping under her nose.

"No, thank you," he replies kindly. Why is he being so nice to her? What good thing has she done for him that I haven't? Has she won over his kindness in a way I never could? I want to ask her what makes him like her. I want him to talk to me like that, I want him to smile his amazing crooked smile at me, and I want to feel the fluttering sensation in my stomach that I used to get around Richard. I want my heart to beat fast when he walks into the room. I know that Edward can give me that and I want it, I want it now.

My eyes widen and I bolt up from the chair, making everyone look at me. I mutter something under my breath and run up the stairs, heading for my bedroom. Slamming the door behind me, I sink to the floor and pull my knees up to my chest, my heart beating erratically against my ribs. What the hell?

Where did those thoughts come from? Was I just jealous of my own mother because Edward was being nice to her? Thinking back over the past few weeks, every time a girl would talk to him or touch him, I would feel anger flare inside me, I just wouldn't admit it. I feel tears fill my eyes as I hug my knees.

What is going on with me?

**Silly Bella. *Rolls eyes*. **

**Thank you all for reading. (:**

**I have been nominated for 'The Sunflower Awards'! If like this story, maybe vote for it on there? The categories I have been nominated in are on my profile as well as the link to vote. Even if you don't want to vote for this story, check it out anyway and vote for someone else! **

**I want to thank my BETA, Ruth Perk. Thank you so much.**

**Please leave me a review?**

**I have Twitter! The link is on my profile so if you do to, maybe follow me? **

**Thanks for reading. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	22. Chapter 20

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

_"No, thank you," he replies kindly. Why is he being so nice to her? What good thing has she done for him that I haven't? Has she won over his kindness in a way I never could? I want to ask her what makes him like her. I want him to talk to me like that, I want him to smile his amazing crooked smile at me, and I want to feel the fluttering sensation in my stomach that I used to get around Richard. I want my heart to beat fast when he walks into the room. I know that Edward can give me that and I want it, I want it now._

_My eyes widen and I bolt up from the chair, making everyone look at me. I mutter something under my breath and run up the stairs, heading for my bedroom. Slamming the door behind me, I sink to the floor and pull my knees up to my chest, my heart beating erratically against my ribs. What the hell?_

_Where did those thoughts come from? Was I just jealous of my own mother because Edward was being nice to her? Thinking back over the past few weeks, every time a girl would talk to him or touch him, I would feel anger flare inside me, I just wouldn't admit it. I feel tears fill my eyes as I hug my knees._

_What is going on with me?_

**Chapter twenty. **

**Now: **

What the hell is happening to me? I'm not normally a jealous person; well, I didn't think I was. Why am I jealous over Edward? He's just being nice to me; there isn't anything going on between the two of us. There never could be. He is perfect, and I am anything but.

He's seeing Tanya, anyway. I know he says he isn't, but whenever he is around her, he seems happier. I don't know if they are serious, but I shouldn't be feeling these feelings for him, even if it is just a fling between the two of them. Guilt fills me and even more tears spring to my eyes, spilling softly down my cheeks.

I am really confused andI hate it. I hate not knowing what to do or what is going to happen to me. I like to be in control of the things I can be, and I thought my feelings were something I could control. I guess I was wrong about that.

Sighing in frustration, I run my hands through my hair and pull out the tie, letting it hang loosely around my shoulders. Why am I feeling these things? Why does he even want to be my friend? I'm not a person someone like Edward wants as a friend. He wants to be associated with models and football players, beauty queens and mysterious hunks. He doesn't want to be around the fat girl in any way. He certainly doesn't want to be anything more than one of my friends, so why am I feeling this jealous?

Over the years, everything he and his friends have ever said has built and built until I finally cracked. I couldn't sit there and listen to everything they said, and I flipped. Sure, I didn't say anything, but I finally stood up for myself and left. I chose not to listen and I left the hurt and pain there.

I didn't expect him to follow me, not at all,. But I can't help but be happy he did. He came to me and asked for forgiveness. That's something my own twin brother didn't do. I was apprehensive about forgiving him, and I haven't completely yet, but I'm glad that he finally apologized.

A knock on my door makes me jump and I get off the floor quickly, staring at the door with wide eyes. I think I know who is on the other side of that door. The question is, do I want to answer it? He hasn't actually done anything to me, but I can't help but feel like this, especially after what I have just realized.

I slowly make my way to the door. Do I let him in? I know that if I don't, he could just keep knocking. As if to prove my point, he knocks again - harder this time. I grab the handle and turn it, opening the door slowly. I glare at him. I hate that I don't know what to feel and this is all his fault.

He stands there with a hurt and confused look on his face, making me feel so bad. I stop glaring at him and soften my expression. His hurt expression leaves and he walks into the room after I open the door more for him.

"What happened? Are you okay?" he asks.

"I'm fine," I reply, turning my back to him and wiping under my eyes.

"Then why did you leave so suddenly?" This time, I shrug and sit on my bed, looking into the mirror on the other side of the room. I take the hair-tie off my wrist and put my hair back up in a messy bun. Edward watches and laughs lightly when a few of the shorter pieces fall out in the front.

Before I can do anything about it, he comes forwards and tucks the loose bits behind my ears, smiling down at me. I blush and look back into the mirror in front of me. Why is Edward here? He said that he would go to bed. Why didn't he tell Esme he didn't want to come over with her? Why does he want to be friends with someone like me? He has friends like Rosalie and Tanya. Beautiful girls and he chooses to befriend the fat girl. Maybe he just feels sorry for me. I would too if I was him.

"Fucking stop it." He sighs and lifts my chin up, removing my bottom lip from between my teeth. I blush again and try to avoid eyes contact with him.

"Stop what?" I ask stupidly.

"Thinking shit that isn't true about yourself." I roll my eyes. Trust him to know what I was thinking.

"It _is_ true, though," I whisper, finally looking up at him, in the eyes. "Everyone knows it. I know it, you know it. Why are you even here, Edward?" He groans and sits next to me, taking my hands in his and angling my body towards his. I blush and look down at our joined hands, trying to avoid his eyes. My heart beats fast in my chest and everything I have been trying to put in the back of my mind springs forward.

Edward is nice to me, so why shouldn't I want to spend time with him? Maybe I'm jealous because I want his time and I don't want anyone else to have it. God, I sound so selfish. I can't have all of his time; he has other friends and family to see. Just because I have three friends, and I want to spend time with them, doesn't mean they want to spend their time with me.

"I'm here because I fucking want to be. You need a friend." I go to cut him off but he stops me. "I phrased that wrong. Shit!" He lets go of one of my hands and runs his free hand through his hair. I watch his hand intently, wishing I could be that hand. I bite my bottom lip again. Why am I jealous of his hand, for goodness sake? Great, now I'm jealous of something else. "You need a friend other than Alice. That fucking pixie is enough to drive anyone mad, even if they don't want to fucking admit it." I smile. He's right; although I love her dearly, she does drive me mad sometimes.

"That's your sister you're talking about." He snorts and shakes his head, making me laugh.

"You have a beautiful laugh." I quickly sober up and look at him in shock, my face practically glowing from my blush. Where is all of this coming from? I take my hand from his and fiddlee with my hands in my lap, not looking up to his face. He sighs and I look up to see his brows furrowed.

"Why do you always do that?" He groans.

"Do what?" I silently curse myself for my voice sounding so quiet and scared.

"Act like you have never been given a compliment before." I shrug and blush harder. "You have been given compliments before, haven't you?" I look at the floor again and shake my head slowly, shrugging slightly.

It's true. I can't honestly remember the last time someone said anything nice to me. Well, before Edward started talking to me anyway. I don't know how to deal with nice words and actions. I'm so used to being put down that when people say nice things, I want to run away and ignore it all.

"What the fuck?" I jump at his loud words then immediately tell him to be quiet. I'm not sure if our mothers know he's with me or if they think he is in the toilet. "You seriously haven't ever been complimented before? That's fucked up." I roll my eyes at him.

"It's not that important to be complimented, Edward. I've gotten used to it." I smile when he takes my hands back into his and I look up at him, a small smile on my lips. "Besides, not everyone can be perfect like you," I tease and he laughs, making the atmosphere around us less awkward again.

We sit on my bed for another hour, talking and laughing about things that sometimes make no sense. Every time his hand goes through his hair, or he scratches the stubble on his jaw, any little thing that makes him, him, I can't help but watch. Everything about him is mesmerizing. When he throws his head back to laugh, his Adam's apple moves in his throat and I just want to lick it.

As soon as the thought enters my mind, I blush and my eyes widen. Where did that come from? The room suddenly feels very hot and I swallow uncomfortably. What is wrong with me recently?

"What's the matter?" His eyes fall on me and his voice is curious as I shift on the bed, trying to get further away from him.

"Nothing." My voice shakes and I get up from the bed, dropping his hands. What's going on with me? A guy says something nice to me and my body starts acting all weird. I am so pathetic. My hands go to my hair and I pull at the loose bits, tugging hard and pacing the length of the room.

"Isabella, stop that." Before I can stop, he's in front of me, his hand taking mine away from my hair.

"I'm sorry." My voice is a whisper as I stare into his amazing green eyes. They bore into mine and a shiver runs down my spine. He is so beautiful; I wish I could be as beautiful as he is.

"There's nothing to be sorry for." His whisper is the same tone as mine. We stand like that for a few minutes, staring into each other's eyes, letting them do the talking. His sweet breath fans across my face as I breathe in.

I freeze, however, when his face starts to get closer to mine. My eyes widen and our noses touch. It all happens so quickly after that.

His lips touch mine and I gasp. My mouth closes quickly and he pulls away as a shocked noise comes out of him. His hand goes to his bottom lip and when he pulls it away, guilt consumes me.

"You bit me." My eyes widen when he confirms it.

"I'm so sorry." A small amount of crimson trickles down his chin from his bottom lip. "I just wasn't expecting someone like you to try and kiss me and I was shocked. I am really sorry. If you want to hit me, go for it. I won't stop you." Tears well up in my eyes.

How could I have been so stupid? I was just so shocked. Why would Edward Cullen want to kiss the fat girl? He's stoned, for goodness sake; he's not right at the moment. He's not in his right mind and now I've hurt him, physically. I'm such a stupid fat cow.

"What?" It sounds like he is choking on his own words. He grabs a tissue from the packet on my bedside table and dabs at the wound, wiping away the blood.

"Please forgive me, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing. I shouldn't have tried to kiss you." He sighs and sits on the bed, still dabbing the wound. "And no, I won't hit you. God damn it, why do you have to be so fucking damaged? Every time I try and do something nice for you, you immediately think it's some fucking game. Don't bother trying to deny it; I can see it in your eyes." The tears fall and I wipe them away quickly.

What the hell have I done? I never thought I could hurt another person the way I just have. This just makes me as bad as all the people in my school. I have hurt another person physically. I'm a monster. A fat, stupid monster.

"Isabella, please calm down." I look up into his emerald eyes as he stands and he guides me to sit down on the bed by holding my shoulders. I drop onto the bed and he sits back down next to me, still dabbing at his wound.

"I am really sorry," I whisper, begging him with his eyes to forgive me.

"There is nothing to be sorry for. Please stop crying," he begs and I take in a deep breath, trying to compose myself. What if he's like Richard? What if he hurts me now because I didn't kiss him back? I whimper silently at the thought. I don't think I could handle being hurt by a guy again.

I can still feel the hurt from everything that happened with Richard. I think that I always will. I thought he was my first love, and you don't get over that. I now know that he wasn't, but back then, I convinced myself to feel something for him. I was attracted to him the first time I saw him, but I made myself believe he liked me back. I made everything up in my head like the pathetic, fat girl I am.

"I should go back downstairs. I just said I was using the toilet," he admits, slowly standing up from the bed. I nod and stand up also, following him to the door. He opens it and goes out with me following. We're both silent as we walk down the stairs and into the living room.

"Edward, what took you so long?" Esme scolds. Her words stop when she sees Edward's new wound. She's on her feet and in front of her son before I can even blink. "What happened?" she asks, inspecting the cut.

"I walked into the bathroom door and Isabella helped me out." He shrugs, looking at me briefly out the corner of his eye. I blush and look to the floor, feeling three pairs of eyes on me.

"Oh, well, thank you dear." Esme smiles at me and I smile back before padding into the kitchen, looking for something to wet my suddenly dry throat. I grab a glass of water and sip it slowly. How could I have bit him? If that scars, I would have damaged his perfect face. If he was dreaming of becoming a model, that's just gone out the window.

I drain the cup and set it a side, making a mental note to wash it when Esme and Edward leave. When I go back into the living room, Edward is sitting back on the chair and I go back to the recliner, settling in like that past half an hour didn't happen. It appears that Edward's lip isn't bleeding anymore as he is no longer holding the tissue to his lip. Instead, he's picking at the edges of the now bloodied tissue, glancing at me every few seconds.

"So, how are things going with Charlie?" Esme asks my mother hesitantly. Renee shrugs and looks at me for a second before turning back to her friend.

"He told me that our daughter had something to say about it all." My face flushes yet again and Edward smirks. I told Alice about what I said to Charlie when Edward was with us and he found it highly amusing. Jasper did too, but Alice agreed with me, saying she would have said the same thing to Carlisle.

"Oh, yeah?" Esme sounds shocked and I want to hit myself. What I did was completely out of character for me and I shouldn't have done it. Charlie hasn't said a word to me since and just thinking about it makes my heart hurt. Why do I have to turn everyone against me?

"Yeah, but let's not get into that now." Renee smiles slightly when my eyes meet hers, telling me that she knows what I said and that I won't be punished for being rude to my father. I smile back.

"How is everything going anyway? You said that you and Charlie talked last night," Esme prompts. I like Esme; she isn't one for gossip, but she is willing to help her friends if they need it. She knows exactly what to say and when to say it.

"He said that he needs space. He's going to spend this weekend with Billy and he will be back Monday,." Renee tells her loudly so that I can hear clearly. She's saying it like this so she doesn't have to tell me later. Esme and I both nod and Renee goes on about how it looks like the divorce is, in fact, going ahead. We both cry a little when she admits this and I see Edward looking at me. I don't look back.

My life is a mess; he doesn't need me making his a mess too. By him being there for me now, when the next bad thing happens and he isn't there, I don't know how I will cope. I'll always have Alice. She told me that there isn't a chance in hell she is going to be leaving me any time soon. I laughed at that, thinking about how soon she will want to leave when she realizes how much of a drag I will be on her.

Esme and Renee both go into the kitchen, to get fresh drinks and cakes. I know that they are going to be talking about something Renee doesn't want me to hear. Edward shifts and stands up, stretching his back, and slowly walks over to me. He kneels in front of me and takes my hands. I meet his eyes and he smiles softly at me.

"Everything will be alright," he whispers and for some reason, I want to believe him.

**They kissed! Well, he kissed her and she bit him. This doesn't mean they are together, it just means that Edward kissed her. Don't jump to conclusions and/or hate me (:**

**I'm going to Ireland on Wednesday (Two days time) and I will be gone for nearly 5 weeks. I will be staying with my grandparents and they both have laptops so I should be able to update, but I doubt it will be once a week, like it is now, sort of. Sorry guys, but I promise to write when I can. **

**Thank you all for reading. **

**I have been nominated for 'The Sunflower Awards'! If like this story, maybe vote for it on there? The categories I have been nominated in are on my profile as well as the link to vote. Even if you don't want to vote for this story, check it out anyway and vote for someone else! **

**I want to thank my BETA, Ruth Perk. Great woman! **

**Please leave me a review?**

**I have Twitter! The link is on my profile so if you do to, maybe follow me? **

**Thanks for reading. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	23. Chapter 21

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

_"How is everything going anyway? You said that you and Charlie talked last night," Esme prompts. I like Esme; she isn't one for gossip, but she is willing to help her friends if they need it. She knows exactly what to say and when to say it._

_"He said that he needs space. He's going to spend this weekend with Billy and he will be back Monday,." Renee tells her loudly so that I can hear clearly. She's saying it like this so she doesn't have to tell me later. Esme and I both nod and Renee goes on about how it looks like the divorce is, in fact, going ahead. We both cry a little when she admits this and I see Edward looking at me. I don't look back._

_My life is a mess; he doesn't need me making his a mess too. By him being there for me now, when the next bad thing happens and he isn't there, I don't know how I will cope. I'll always have Alice. She told me that there isn't a chance in hell she is going to be leaving me any time soon. I laughed at that, thinking about how soon she will want to leave when she realizes how much of a drag I will be on her._

_Esme and Renee both go into the kitchen, to get fresh drinks and cakes. I know that they are going to be talking about something Renee doesn't want me to hear. Edward shifts and stands up, stretching his back, and slowly walks over to me. He kneels in front of me and takes my hands. I meet his eyes and he smiles softly at me._

_"Everything will be alright," he whispers and for some reason, I want to believe him._

**Chapter twenty-one. **

**Now: **

I sit silently, trying to hear what Renee and Esme are saying. I know I shouldn't be nosey, but this does involve me, too. It's my life they are talking about and I want to know what is going on with my parents. I can't help feeling I have the right to know everything about the divorce. Is that selfish of me? If it is, I don't really care at this moment in time.

Edward is still on the floor in front of me, my hands in his. He is rubbing his thumbs over the backs of my hands and my wrists; his eyes following his movements. I want to take my hands back and ask him why he tried to kiss me, but I know he is high. He wouldn't have tried to kiss me if he wasn't. I'm sure he will be disgusted when he sobers up. In fact, I know he will be.

His movements are so soft and seem so innocent, but they are making me feel weird. My heart rate has picked up and my stomach is flopping about too much. I can't be hungry, can I? I have eaten today, so that can't be it. But then again, maybe since I have eaten too much before, I am always hungry now? I really don't know.

I bite hard on my bottom lip, trying really hard to think past his caresses and on to something not as weird. I wonder where Alice is. The school day ended a while ago, and she hasn't called Esme to see where she and Edward are. Maybe Esme left her a note or she's gone to Jasper's for a little while. I dread to think what they could be doing.

I will probably never have that. I won't have to convince my parents to let me stay at a boyfriend's house, even if I am seventeen. I will never have a boyfriend to hang around with at his house. A sigh escapes me, and Edward looks up at me, his eyes wide. What's the matter with him? He clears his throat and then looks back down at our hands. I know he will want to let go as soon as possible; but he wouldn't want to hurt my feelings, so I save him the trouble and try to pull my hands back only to find him holding on tightly.

I raise my eyebrow at him when he looks at me and he just smirks at me slightly. His eyes are playful and it almost makes me smile. What is going through his mind right now? I ask him what he's doing and he's just about to reply when the living room door opens. He quickly drops my hands and jumps up as I sit there frozen, my face the color of a fire truck.

"What the hell is going on?" Emmett asks, but his voce tells us he really doesn't care.

"None of your business," I tell him as I stand up, making both guys look at me in surprise. What? It isn't any of his business what Edward and I are doing. We weren't doing anything, but he doesn't need to know that.

"What's the matter, Emz?" A voice asks as Rosalie steps in the room. I want to roll my eyes. Emz? Really? He isn't three anymore, or a rapper.

"Nothing, babe." Emmett keeps looking between Edward and me as he speaks. I roll my eyes at him and sit back down, waiting from him and Rosalie to leave. I can almost guarantee they will go up to his room in a moment and Renee won't tell them off for having sex in her house. If I was having sex in my room, she would flip out. That will never happen, and she knows it, so she's happy.

Esme and my mom come back into the living room and it suddenly feels very small in here. Esme and Renee sit on the love seat, sipping sweet tea, and Rosalie and Emmett share the recliner, kissing. When they come up for air, Rosalie turns to glare at me. Edward and I sit awkwardly on the couch, both at opposite ends, as far away from each other as possible.

"Edward, what happened to your mouth?" Rosalie asks, smiling sweetly at everyone but me.

"I walked into a door." Edward shrugs and I feel my face heat up. I didn't expect him to say what really happened, but that doesn't seem to be very realistic.

"I have walked into many doors, but I have never hurt my mouth." Emmett chuckles and I see the glance that Edward shoots me out the corner of his eye.

"I was coming out the bathroom and I hit him with it." I feel my face get even hotter at my lie. "It was my fault." I shrug.

"Everything is your fault," Emmett mutters, but I hear him. Rosalie lets out a shrill laugh and I cower away from them both. Of course, I had to sit on the end closest to them. The color quickly leaves my face and I pull my knees up to my chest, hugging them close to me.

Everyone starts up a conversation about the big game coming up this weekend and I listen silently, looking at the floor in front of the television. I probably won't go to this game. I went to the last one and Renee says I can go to every other one. It doesn't bother me either way, and I know Emmett prefers it if I'm not there. Like I said, it doesn't bother me either way.

I know that if I do go, I won't be watching Emmett anyway. If I go, I'll be watching Jasper and Edward running around the field, racking up points for our team. Emmett is a great player, there is no doubt about that, but he mainly stops the other teams from scoring, not scoring points himself. The rest of the guys on the team just stand around, checking out the cheerleaders. The only reason the coach still has them is because they need the numbers to make up the team. Everyone knows it. Jasper, Emmett, and Edward could easily win just by themselves. It would probably be a quicker game, too, without the rest of Forks' team getting in their way.

"Isabella won't be going," Renee says and I look up as she says my name.

"Why not?" Esme asks, smiling sweetly at me. I smile shyly back, not knowing what else to do.

"She went to the last one. Our Isabella isn't a fan of sports," Renee tells her and Esme just shrugs a little, putting her hand on my mother's.

"Evidently," Rosalie sneers and I snap my head down again, feeling the burn in my cheeks. I don't know if Renee heard her or not, but she just ignores Rosalie, and tells Esme about something she saw on the television.

"Shut up, Rosalie," Edward growls and both mothers hear that. Rosalie glares at him and he just glares right back, neither one blinking. I look over and see Edward's jaw tense and his hands clench into fists by his side.

"Edward, don't talk to her like that," Esme scolds and he just ignores her, glaring at Rosalie. "Edward, I am talking to you!" she barks, but Edward still ignores her. With a sigh, Esme stands up and thanks Renee for the tea and cakes. "We're going home. Come on, Edward." The glaring match between Rosalie and Edward continues until Esme stands in front of her son; her hands on her hips and her red lips pursed. Edward looks at his mother and shakes his head before standing.

"I'm watching you, Hale. So you better watch your back," he hisses and Esme just grabs Edward's arm, apologizing to both Renee and Rosalie before dragging him out the room.

"Don't fucking apologize to that bitch for me, Esme. If I had my way, she would be…" The door slams behind them and Edward's yells become muffled.

"What a rude young man," Renee says to herself, picking up the used plates and cups before going into the kitchen. I wait until she leaves before standing up. I move toward the door and a hand circles my wrist, making me stop walking. I know whose hand it is as sharp, claw-like nails dig into my skin, making me bite my bottom lip to stop from crying out in pain.

The nails just dig in deeper and I look down at my wrist to see the area turning an angry red. Harder and harder the nails press, until small drops of blood start to flow down my wrist, coloring her French manicured nails. I look at her face and see her smirking at me, her eyes hard. My eyes prickle from the pain and I look away from her, blinking back tears.

"Rosalie, let her go," Emmett says softly, kissing her neck. She nods and releases my hand after a hard squeeze. I clutch my wrist to my chest as I walk up the stairs to the bathroom. Once the door is locked behind me, I pull up my arm to see four bleeding crescent shaped marks on the inside of my wrist and one on the other side, obviously from her thumb. I dab at the wounds with a tissue, cleaning away the blood before disinfecting the cuts and putting Band-Aids on them.

Rosalie is gone when Renee calls me down for dinner.

"What have you done to your wrist?" Renee asks with a mouth full of food, pointing to it with her knife. Emmett clears his throat and I can feel both of their eyes on me.

"I caught it on the door." I shrug, looking down and avoiding her eyes.

"First Edward with the door, now you," she says with a small chuckle, rolling her eyes. This is the best I have seen her in weeks and it's good to see her so carefree again. "Maybe we should have teenager safety courses: This is how to open a door, and this is how to close it." She uses a stupid voice for the last bit before she lets out a laugh and I laugh a little with her.

After that, I don't eat much and go straight to to my room Iafter I wash and put away my plate and cutlery. My wrist aches, but I ignore it, doing some homework that I have left until the last minute again. I really need to start doing my homework the night it is set. It takes me about an hour to finish, and I fall asleep as soon as I put it in my bag and lay down.

I half expected Edward to come in through my window again, but there was no sign of him in the morning. I would have heard him if he had come in, and I didn't, so he obviously didn't want to see me. I shrug it off - maybe he was tired, too. I know I left the window open a little bit last night, so it isn't like he came but couldn't get in or couldn't wake me up.

I haven't seen him all day, and he wasn't at my house this morning. He told me he would be there, but I don't mind. It wasn't raining this morning and the walk was welcome. I like walking. I didn't walk to school yesterday because Edward and Alice picked me up, but the walk back from the Cullens' house yesterday was nice. When people don't yell at you as you walk past, you notice all the peaceful things about Forks.

Sitting at my normal table, I begin to eat silently and pull out a book, flipping half way through and finding the spot where I left it yesterday. I soon find myself lost in the wonderful world of fiction, not caring about any other student from Forks High that could be watching me as I read. I have learned to ignore the prickly feeling you get when people are watching you. I'm watched so often I don't really notice it anymore.

A tray slams onto the table next to me and I jump, my hand going to my chest and my book drops to the table. I look up slowly to see Edward grinning at me, his eyes dancing with something I can't understand.

"You scared the life out of me," I huff, my heart finally slowing back to normal. He continues to grin and sits down in the seat next to me.

"I told you, you would scare her. Asshole!" Alice glares at Edward but I can see she isn't really mad at her brother. "Hey, Isabella." She smiles at me and leans across the table, kissing my cheek lightly. Edward wolf whistlers, making my face go bright red and Alice laughs.

"Hi, Alice," I greet back, my face gradually getting cooler. Jasper strolls over to our table, sits down, and draws Alice into conversation. I look at Edward out the corner of my eye and see him looking at me, too.

"What did your mom do to you yesterday?" I ask quietly and he rolls his eyes before grabbing some chips and putting one in his mouth.

"She grounded me." He shrugs; his mouth full. I grimace at him and he just winks at me. This time I roll my eyes and pick my book up again, flipping back to where I was interrupted. "Am I that boring?" he asks, almost sounding hurt.

"Yeah, sorry. Would you rather I pretend to listen to you?" I ask, making my voice sound bored. Alice and Jasper both burst out laughing, obviously eavesdropping on our conversation and I join in their laughter. Still laughing, I bend down and pull my sandwich out of my bag. I set it on the table so I can roll up my sleeves slightly then pick it back up, slowly eating it while listening to Alice and Edward talk.

"Iz, what's that?" Jasper asks, his voice hesitant.

"What's what?" I ask, looking down to see if I had spilled anything on me. Alice and Edward stop talking and look over at me, making me feel completely uncomfortable. Before Jasper can reply, Edward has my hand in his own, quickly unwrapping the bandage I had put around my wrist this morning when I cleaned the small cuts.

I snatch my hand back from Edward, putting it under the table.

"It's nothing." I shrug, slowly unwrapping the gauze. I know they will want proof that it really is nothing and I have nothing to hide, so why not show them?

"It is what I think it is?" Alice asks and I see tears building in her eyes. What could she possibly think it is? I haven't don't anything so why does she look so sad? I quickly shake my head when the realization hits.

"No, Alice. No. It's nothing like that." I hold out my wrist and Alice takes it in her hand, turning my wrist around to see both sides.

"Who did this to you?" Jasper asks.

"It was Rosalie, wasn't it?" Edward stands from the table before I can reply. "I'm going to kill the fucking bitch!" he growls and storms out the room, leaving us all staring after him.

**Thank you all for reading. **

**I am now in Ireland! It could be a couple of weeks before the next update as my Nan has a bad back and the reason I am in Ireland is to help her with jobs around the house. **

**I have been nominated for 'The Sunflower Awards'! If you like this story, maybe vote for it on there? The categories I have been nominated in are on my profile as well as the link to vote. Even if you don't want to vote for this story, check it out anyway and vote for someone else! **

**I want to thank my BETA, Ruth Perk. Thank you! :D**

**Please leave me a review?**

**I have Twitter! The link is on my profile so if you do to****o****, maybe follow me? **

**Thanks for reading. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	24. Chapter 22

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

_I snatch my hand back from Edward, putting it under the table. _

"_It's nothing." I shrug, slowly unwrapping the gauze. I know they will want proof that it really is nothing and I have nothing to hide, so why not show them? _

"_It is what I think it is?" Alice asks and I see tears building in her eyes. What could she possibly think it is? I haven't don't anything so why does she look so sad? I quickly shake my head when the realization hits. _

"_No, Alice. No. It's nothing like that." I hold out my wrist and Alice takes it in her hand, turning my wrist around to see both sides. _

"_Who did this to you?" Jasper asks. _

"_It was Rosalie, wasn't it?" Edward stands from the table before I can reply. "I'm going to kill the fucking bitch!" he growls and storms out the room, leaving us all staring after him._

**Chapter twenty-two. **

**Now: **

"Guys, we have to stop him!" I shriek, my voice bordering on hysterical. Alice and Jasper just look at each other before turning back to me, blinking a few times as if trying to work out what has just happened. I want to yell at them to help me, but I don't. Instead, I let panic overwhelm me , thinking of ways to stop Edward from hurting Rosalie.

"Why do we need to stop him?" Jasper asks, his voice almost sounding bored. Do they not realize how serious this is? Rosalie could get hurt because of me!

"Because Edward could hurt Rosalie!" My voice raises a few octaves and they don't even seem that bothered by it.

"Was it Rosalie?" Alice asks. I look away from them both and back to my wrist as I quickly rewrap it in the bandage. "It was, wasn't it?" She nudges me and I nod slightly, concentrating on what I'm doing.

"Yeah," I finally croak out.

"Then why should we stop him?" Jasper asks as if it is the most obvious thing in the world.

"Because Edward shouldn't be horrible to Rosalie," I whisper, thinking of where Edward could have gone to find Rosalie.

"Rosalie is horrible to you," Jasper states and I shrug, suddenly realizing where Edward might be.

"I need to go." I stand up and grab my bag, leaving before they can try to stop me. I hear them yelling after me as I leave, but I block it out; my mind reeling as I think about where Rosalie would spend her lunch times. I know one place where she could be, but I don't know if I want to go there.

I decide to just walk past; if I don't hear anything, I will get away as fast as I can. I quickly leave the lunch room and walk across the yard to the class rooms. I enter and shiver in fear before charging up the stairs to the third floor. I see the bathroom as soon as I step off the top step and I walk towards it, fear creeping up my spine. I push it away. I'm not here for that.

I see that the door is open when I approach, and I see Edward standing in there with Rosalie pinned against the wall. He has his hands on her shoulders and she is clawing at his hands, trying to get him off of herself. I gasp and run into the room without thinking.

It seems as he has just arrived as everyone is still looking at Edward in confusion and Rosalie doesn't seem to know what to make of everything. She looks at Edward's hands on her shoulders then at Edward's face and smiles slightly.

"Very funny, Edward." She laughs and shakes her head. "You can get off me now." She puts a hand on his chest, but he doesn't move. She quirks an eyebrow at him, silently asking him what he is doing.

"Why the fuck did you do that to Bella's arm?" he growls. Realization dawns on Rosalie's perfect features and for the first time ever, I see her looking scared her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open. "I asked you a question." His voice is deadly and she blinks a few times. Does Edward know I'm here? He hasn't looked at me and I haven't really made my presence known. Sure, Jessica and Tanya are glaring at me right this second, but Rosalie and Edward seem to be in their own little bubble of hate and confusion.

"I dd-didn't do anything," she stutters, then a fire lights up her eyes. Here comes the old Rosalie. "Even if I did do something, what would you do? Hit me? I'll have you arrested." She smirks and Edward laughs, shaking his head.

"And what would good old Chief Swan think when I tell him you're the reason why Bella couldn't get out of bed for three days? He's been itching to arrest someone for a while now." I can hear the smugness in his voice and Rosalie just rolls her eyes, before reaching up and trying to push his hands off of her. It doesn't work out too well.

"Get the fuck off me, Edward." Her voice is low and hard, and Edward shakes his head.

"Apologize to Bella," he counters. I bite on my bottom lip and look down at the floor when Rosalie looks over at me, her face showing her disgust towards me. So Edward does know I'm here.

"Bella?" She laughs, her laugh dark and haunting. "Why the hell would I apologize to a whale?" she asks. Edward growls and pulls her body forward before slamming her back against the wall. I see Rosalie wince and my heart goes out to her. It's not nice to be pushed around.

"Edward, leave it. Please?" I put my hand on his shoulder and he shrugs me off, glancing at me in warning to leave them alone. I back off, standing a few feet away so I can stop him if I need to.

"Do as your little _Bella _says, Edward." Rosalie rolls her eyes, a laugh spilling out of her. Edward lets go of Rosalie and backs away from her his eyes not leaving her nasty face. When he gets to my side, he stops and just glares at Rosalie.

"Come on, Edward. We have Bio." I turn around to leave, but the door is shut before I can. Eric, Tyler, Mike and Paul are standing there, smiling at me. I swallow hard and blink back tears. What they did to me in the changing rooms comes back and I try to stop it from immobilizing me.

Edward turns around and yells at them to move out of the way when he sees them. They come forward and manage to grab ahold of Edward, getting him on the floor before I know what is happening.

This is all my fault. Poor Edward could possibly be in danger, all because of me. If I had not told him anything, he wouldn't be here and he wouldn't be in the position he's in. I know Edward is a muscular guy, but so are they and there are four of them. I also know that Edward can handle himself, but still, there are four of them.

"What are you doing? Let him go!" I rush over to get them off of Edward, but Rosalie grabs my hair before I can even take two steps to them. I gasp and my hands go towards where she is holding me, trying to get my hair out of her grasp. I bite my bottom lip to stop from crying out and she tugs harder, making my ear go to her mouth.

"Don't worry, he won't get hurt," she whispers in my ear and I stop panicking. As long as Edward is okay, I can deal with anything else. She lets go of my hair and I fall to the floor at her feet, my eyes on the floor. They are filled with tears and I don't want her to see them.

This is how it always happens. She gets me in here, messes with me for a bit before she, 'teaches me a lesson' or whatever else it is she can think of. The first part is always the worst. The words hurt more than any hit or kick she can give. The mental pain is so much worse than the physical.

"Stupid, fat cow. Edward doesn't want you. He doesn't care about you. He just wants something he can't have, and the only way he can get it is through you," she hisses and I shake my head, not believing her. What could Edward possible want that he can only get through me?

"You fucking liar! Don't listen to her, Bella!" Edward yells and I block him out. If he is getting hurt because he is my friend, I don't want to be his friend anymore. I don't want him hurt because of me. I couldn't take it if anything happened to him. He says he's my friend and friends look after their friends. I want to look after him and not being his friend is the only way I can think of to make sure he is okay. Edward is liked by everyone in the school, he won't miss my friendship. Alice and Jasper are popular enough, they probably won't notice if the fat girl stops talking to them.

The guys drag Edward out the room, kicking and screaming. As soon as they leave, Jessica steps forward and locks the door. I hear Edward slamming against the door on the other side, but it isn't any use. Please, Edward. I'm not worth it.

"I'm not lying, _Bella_. Remember that." She finishes her sentence with a kick to my ribs, making me bite my lip to stop the tears. I taste the familiar rusty flavor on my tongue and I know I have made my lip bleed. It wouldn't be the first time, and it won't be the last.

She continues to kick me and I try to ignore it. I listen to the sounds in the room instead of focusing on the pain. Relaxing my body always helps, so that's what I do.

"Look at the fat bitch! She can't even feel it." I wish I couldn't.

"Go harder, Rosalie. Show her who's the boss." I know. Believe me, I know.

"The head. Smash in her head." Please do, then the pain can stop.

I close my eyes and let go of my lips, trying to take my mind off the pain. I really do try, but it doesn't work. I can hear the room erupt in laughter and my heart throbs painfully along with all the bruises I know are forming on my body.

"Is she dead?" I wish I was.

"Roll over, tubby. I want to see your face," Rosalie hisses and I do as I'm told, figuring it will be over sooner if I do.

Rosalie puts her high-heeled clad foot on my stomach and presses down, making the air leave my lungs. Rosalie bends down so she is closer to me. I begin to feel everything she has done and the pain is almost too much. Everything hurts and I think this is the worst beating I have ever had. I bring my hands to my face, protecting the one area that hasn't been damaged yet.

I gasp as Rosalie's hand hits my stomach, just under my ribs on my right side. The area is where she first hit and I can image the dark blue color my skin already is. My hands go to the dull throb, putting pressure on it to stop the pain. As soon as my hands leave my face, she begins hitting that. My eyes, my nose, my mouth. Anything she can reach, she hits and punches, making me cry out in pain.

Why did I have to come after him? Why couldn't I have just said I did the cuts myself? None of this would have happened. Edward hurt Rosalie, a girl, and now she is hurting me. Fair is fair. I should have left as soon as I saw what Edward was doing. I should have gotten help and this wouldn't be happening right now.

"Stupid, fat bitch. Running to Edward as soon as things get tough. You make me sick!" Rosalie hisses and spits on me, standing up straight from her leaning position. I swallow the large lump in my throat, trying to not let her see me in pain. She knows she has won; I don't want to show her that she has.

Slowly raising my hand, I run it over my bottom lip and pull it away to see blood running along the length of my hand. Of course, I shouldn't have expected anything less. As soon as I see the blood, I feel a sharp pain in my back and I groan as it happens again and again. She kicking my back, obviously bored with my face and sides.

The bell signaling the end of the day rings, and I try not to think that this has been going on for over an hour. She eases up and then stops altogether.

"Make sure I'm gone before you sort this out." Rosalie gestures to me before she picks up her bag and leaves the room, her followers going after her as if nothing happened. I close my eyes and try to concentrate on breathing. My breaths are shallow and pant-like; my ribs protesting with every inhale, and my stomach crying out with every exhale. I know something is broken this time.

The pain is overwhelming and my head swirls. Everything sways as I open my eyes and the last thing I see is Tyler and Mike walking towards me as my world goes black.

**Like it? Hate it? **

**Sorry its short, but this is where it had to end. I know you are all going to hate me for this, but it is important to the story! Please stay with me. **

**I can't believe I have already reached 300 reviews! I actually cried when I woke up and seen I had 302 reviews. I actually literally cried. Thank you guys sooooo much. I love you all! :D **

**Thanks you for reading and please review. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	25. Chapter 23

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

"_Stupid, fat bitch. Running to Edward as soon as things get tough. You make me sick!" Rosalie hisses and spits on me, standing up straight from her leaning position. I swallow the large lump in my throat, trying to not let her see me in pain. She knows she has won; I don't want to show her that she has. _

_Slowly raising my hand, I run it over my bottom lip and pull it away to see blood running along the length of my hand. Of course, I shouldn't have expected anything less. As soon as I see the blood, I feel a sharp pain in my back and I groan as it happens again and again. She kicking my back, obviously bored with my face and sides. _

_The bell signaling the end of the day rings, and I try not to think that this has been going on for over an hour. She eases up and then stops altogether. _

"_Make sure I'm gone before you sort this out." Rosalie gestures to me before she picks up her bag and leaves the room, her followers going after her as if nothing happened. I close my eyes and try to concentrate on breathing. My breaths are shallow and pant-like; my ribs protesting with every inhale, and my stomach crying out with every exhale. I know something is broken this time. _

_The pain is overwhelming and my head swirls. Everything sways as I open my eyes and the last thing I see is Tyler and Mike walking towards me as my world goes black. _

**Chapter twenty-three. **

**Now: **

All I can feel is pain as soon as my mind begins to resurface. Everything throbs and a small whimper leaves my lips. My eyelids are heavy, but I slowly open them; blinking against the bright sun light that wasn't there before I fainted. I know that I should be staring at the grubby ceiling of the bathroom, not the rare bright blue sky and bright sun. If I wasn't in so much pain, I would take the time to relish in the feeling of the sun on my skin.

"Young female, seventeen, hit by a car in Forks high school parking lot." Oh no, who has been hit? Poor girl, I bet she is in so much pain right now. And I thought I had it bad.

"Multiple contusions and suspected head trauma. Name is Isabella Swan." Me? I wasn't hit by a car. "She is regaining consciousness; I need a doctor waiting for us when we arrive." An unfamiliar male voice says. Blinking a few times, I look around but can't see anything. With everything I have in me, I lift my head slightly and turn it to the side to see most of the students of Forks High being held back by police.

"Miss, I need you to lie still. We don't know if anything is broken yet." A female paramedic tells me and slowly turns me so I am lying flat on the ground. "Are you in any pain?" she asks softly. Of course I am, but do I tell her that?

"Yeah," I croake out, my voice hoarse with the tears I cried earlier.

"Do you know what has happened to you?" She asks, looking around before meeting my eyes again. Yeah, Rosalie Hale beat me up in the girls' toilet on the third floor.

"No," I say instead, knowing the truth won't get me anywhere. Tears build in my eyes and slowly leak over the sides, running into my hairline.

"You have been hit by a car and we need to get you to the hospital to assess you properly. I'm Nancy, by the way." She wipes the tears running down my face and smiles softly at me, assuring me that I will be fine.

"Edward?" I sob. I want to know that he is okay.

"What was that?" she asks, leaning in to hear me better.

"I want Edward," I sob louder and she looks up, obviously at someone else from the paramedics. She nods at the person and I hear feet running away from me, towards the crowd.

"Who is Edward?" The male voice from before yells out and I hear a 'me' called, before two sets of footsteps run over to me. I cry in relief when Edward kneels on the floor next to me and leans over so I can see him. He takes my hand and holds it tightly. His eyes are red-rimmed and dried tear marks run down his cheeks.

"I have been so worried about you!" he cries, fresh tears making their way down his face. I tell him not to cry and he just smiles at me, stroking my wrist with his thumb. "Are you okay?" I shake my head slightly, my throat closing over with tears and the pain I'm feeling.

Another ambulance arrives with the sirens blaring. The noise makes my head throb and everything becomes fuzzy again. I want to stay awake, so I focus on Edward. He's smoothing my hair away from my face and wiping at the tears slowly running down from my eyes. He's being so kind and caring and I don't deserve it.

I slowly raise my hand to his and push it away. He looks shocked and brings his hand back to my hair. I push it away again, this time with more force than the last time.

"Go away, Edward," I whimper, my head spinning. He shakes his head and tells me to stop being silly. "I want you to leave me alone," I whisper, as speaking puts too much pressure on my ribs.

"You have to leave now, sir. We have to get her to the hospital." Two male paramedics walk over to us and Edward nods with tears in his eyes. He stands and walks away to the crowd.

"Okay, Miss Swan. I need to look to the right for me without turning your head." I do as I'm asked and I see Edward standing with Alice and Jasper, all of them looking heart broken. Edward, however, looks like someone he loves is dying. My heart sinks and I feel sick. "Now to the left, please." I look over at the group of Forks High students. I can see Tyler and Mike standing around, talking to one of the paramedics. Mike's car is running and the doors are open, as if someone flew out of it in shock or surprise. There is also a dent in the front. Just under the car, there is a crowbar, but I know you wouldn't be able to see it if you weren't lying on the ground like I am.

Everything clicks. They think I was hit by a car and Mike's car has a dent put in the front. Rosalie must have had this all planned. Sure, I went to her, but she knew that if she asked me to go, I would. I have before, loads of times, so she knows I would again if I felt the need to. With Rosalie, she is evil and sadistic and she won't stop until she gets what she wants. It's easier to get it over and done with then wait for it to happen.

"Is your back hurting you? I am going to put this collar around your neck," Nancy says. White hot pain flares up from the small of my back. I cry out loudly and I know everyone can hear me. "Okay, don't move. We need to put you on a back board before we get you on a stretcher. First, I need to put this in your hand." She takes my hand and lays it flat then pulls out a needle, preparing me for an IV, I suppose.

She jabs the needle in and puts the cannula into the back of my hand. I wince slightly, but the pain is nothing to the rest of my body. She injects something into my hand and a numb feeling slowly makes its way up my arm. It spreads through my body and soon, I feel like I'm floating; the pain nearly non-existent.

"I just put in some morphine," she tells someone, but my head is swimming too much to take notice. A male voice answers her as a back board is put just to my left side. "Isabella, we are going to roll you onto your side to get the board under you. Okay? Tell me if you need us to stop." I give her a nod and then I am on my side, three pairs of hands holding me on my right side. I feel the plastic being put in behind me and I am laid back down, this time on the back board.

Several medical terms are used as the two males lift me onto the stretcher. They then lift the stretcher, making the wheels come out from the bottom. They run with me to the ambulance and I shut my eyes, the morphine making them feel heavy.

"You can sleep, Isabella." Nancy tells me, holding my hand tightly in hers. I nod and let my eyes flutter shut.

~/3~

I slowly open my eyes and can tell from the beeping coming from above me that I am in the hospital. The bright white lights in the ceiling make my head ache and my eyes water. Why does it have to be so bright in hospitals? Surely they know ill people can get headaches easier than anyone else, and this bright light doesn't help anyone.

I look down at my left hand to see an IV line attached to a drip; a clear liquid slowly running into the vein in the back of my hand. Morphine. My head feels light, like it isn't attached to my body, buy that's the morphine. I wonder how long I have been out. Surely, it can't be more than a couple of hours, but I have been wrong before.

"Oh, Isabella. Baby, you're awake." I turn my head to the right to see my mom, dad, and Emmett all sitting in hospital chairs, looking worried and teary eyed. Emmett? Teary eyed? What is wrong with him? Did Rosalie tell him what she did? That this is all because of her? I really don't know.

"Hey." My word is slurred, but she seems to understand it.

"We have been so worried. How are you feeling?" She sits on the bed next to my right hand and picks it up, putting it on her lap and rubbing it gently with both of her hands.

"Fine. Sore." Short and straight to the point. She nods and runs a hand through my hair, pushing it away from my eyes. I smile at her slightly then look over at my dad. His jaw in tense and he is grinding his teeth, hands in tight balls at his sides. He's no doubt thinking of ways to hurt Mike and Tyler for doing this, but they would be wrongly accused. Sure, they didn't do anything to stop Rosalie, but they didn't run me over either.

Next, I look at Emmett. He's looking down at his lap, fiddling with his fingers like I do. His bottom lip is between his teeth and his hair is a mess. When he glances up at me, I can see the dried tear marks on his cheeks and his eyes are red. Maybe, somewhere deep down, he does care about me. Highly unlikely, but you never know.

The door to my room opens and I look over to see Carlisle come in with a clipboard in his hand. His blonde hair is gelled back neatly and his blue eyes are shining with concern. He walks straight over to me and checks some of the screens placed around my bed before walking back into my line of sight.

"Hello, Isabella. How are you feeling?" he asks and I shrug. I can feel pain, but it also feels like I'm floating, like I'm not connected to my body. It feels weird.

"W-w-weird," I finally stutter, my cheeks heating with embarrassment.

"That's the pain meds. As soon as I feel it is ok, I will lower the dosage." I nod in acknowledgment, not knowing what to say to that. "Now, we x-rayed you while you were out and from the x-rays…" he pauses, walking over to a screen and putting up three black sheets. Turning on the light behind it, various parts of me come up. "I can see you have three broken ribs and a fractured wrist. The physical examination showed major bruising along your spine. Everything should heal nicely, but I need you to take it easy."

"Okay," I whisper. I knew something was broken, but three ribs?

"From these x-rays," he points to the one showing my ribs with a pen and runs the end of it along one of the ribs," I can see that they have been broken before, but there are no records to show that you have been treated for it. Is something going on we need to know about, Isabella?" he asks, looking at my parents and Emmett before looking back to me.

I look down at my lap and shift uncomfortably. I regret moving because as soon as I do it, pain shoots up my spine and around to my ribs.

"Isabella, please be careful," Carlisle scolds and I smile apologetically at him before looking back down at my lap. "You have been hit by a car, you shouldn't to be moving around so much while you are healing," he explains softly, as if letting me know I'm not in trouble, but I do need to be careful.

I wasn't hit by a car. I know I need to tell him, but what exactly do I say? 'Oh, by the way Carlisle, I wasn't hit by a car. I was beaten up by Rosalie Hale because I was trying to stop your son from killing her.' No, I don't think I could just come out and say that. They would probably tell me I'm delusional because of the pain meds.

"Isabella, is there something going on?" Charlie asks, obviously remembering what Carlisle asked before. I bite my lip and wince as I bite into a cut there. It feels like my head is about to explode. Do I tell them the truth? Will something happen if I do? What will Emmett think when he finds out it was Rosalie that did this? Does he already know? Was this his idea? Does he care?

"I wasn't hit by a car," I whisper, feeling instant relief as I admit it. I let out a breath and look at the stunned faces of my family.

"Yes, you were honey. You hit your head when you fell, you're not thinking straight," Renee tries to tell me, but I look at Carlisle over her shoulder. Tears fill my eyes as I try to silently tell him I wasn't hit by a car.

"Actually, Renee, when we were examining Isabella, we found several bruises that are the shape of a hand or foot print. A high-heeled shoe, at that." Renee gasps and looks at me, fresh tears now spilling down her face. "Do you know who did this to you, Isabella?"

I look back down, not knowing what I should do now. Should I say it was Rosalie? Should I just say that I can't remember and play it off as mild memory loss? Will I get in trouble if I lie? Will I get in trouble if I tell the truth? What will Rosalie and her friends do to me if I tell them it was her? What will Emmett do if I tell them it was her?

I shake my head, tears streaming down my face. My head hurts. I just want this all to go away and leave me alone. I want to tell them it was her, but I'm scared to do it. For years, I have been told that I am worthless and I don't deserve good things. Telling them about Rosalie and getting help would be seen as a good thing. I don't deserve good things.

"Isabella, calm down. You have to remember you have damaged your ribs," Renee scolds from next to me, reaching out to touch me. I don't want her to touch me. I move away from her as much as I can in the small space of the bed, my body crying at me, but I don't care. I don't want her to touch me.

"Isabella, stop being so silly," she scolds, putting her hand on my arm. I pull my arm away from her and she just looks at me before bursting into tears. Charlie walks forwards and wraps her in his arms, glaring at me slightly over the top of her head.

All these years, I have been beaten and abused and she has done nothing to stop it. Sure, she was there to help me while I was getting better, but she didn't go to the school and fight for what is right. She would cry about how it's all her fault and everyone would give her sympathy while I was confined to my bed, unable to move sometimes. Everything has to be about her and I am sick of it. For once, _I _want the sympathy. For once, _I _want to be treated like I matter without her selfishness getting in the way.

"Renee, Charlie, could you give us some time, please?" Carlisle asks but looks at me, not even giving them a glance. Charlie and Renee leave the room, but Emmett stays where he is, not even bother to say why he wants to stay. Carlisle and I choose to ignore him as he pulls out his phone and begins texting on it.

"Who did this to you, Isabella?" Carlisle sits on the side of my bed, looking at me right in the eye. I swallow and glance at Emmett to see him completely uninterested.

"I c-c-can't tell you," I stutter, feeling like an idiot.

"Why not?" he counters.

"Because I don't know what will happen if I do," I admit, looking at Emmett again. Carlisle follows my line of sight and looks at me in shock, obviously getting the wrong idea. "It wasn't Emmett!" I all but yell it, making Emmett look up at me.

"Then who was it, Isabella?" I shrug and he sighs. "Since you have admitted you weren't hit by a car, I will have to get the police involved." I snap my eyes up to him, about to protest. I do not need the police getting involved in this. "If you tell me who it was, we may be able to sort this out between ourselves." His voice is soft and calm, giving me a fatherly feel.

"You can't tell anyone," I whisper, trying to be quiet so that Emmett doesn't hear what I'm about to say. If he already knows who it was, and if he hears me tell Carlisle, he may flip out and tell Rosalie I told. He would hate me even more and I can't deal with that right now.

"I'm not allowed to, even if I wanted to. Patient confidentiality." He smiles and I nod, happy with that answer. I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly through my nose. If I don't tell Carlisle now, I know Edward will when he next sees him. Edward was there before he was taken out. It's obvious he knows I wasn't hit by a car.

"It was Rosalie Hale," I admit, but I wasn't quiet enough. I see Emmett's head snap up out of the corner of my eye, I can feel his glare penetrating my skin.

**Anyone still here with me?**

**OMFG you guys! I got 25 reviews on the last chapter. I cant actually believe it! You guys rock! I love you all so much for reviewing and sticking with this story. **

**Just because I have updated within 24 hours of the last chapter, I doubt it will happen again for a really long time. My nan is going in for surgery next week so I will be with her until I go home in a few weeks.  
**

**I know you all probably hate me right now, but please stick with me. Bella had to have this happen so that she admitted who it was. Hopefully you all won't give up on me and follow this story as it progresses. **

**Please leave me a review, even if it is just to yell at me for my crappy story line :D **

**Thanks for reading. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	26. Chapter 24

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

"_Because I don't know what will happen if I do," I admit, looking at Emmett again. Carlisle follows my line of sight and looks at me in shock, obviously getting the wrong idea. "It wasn't Emmett!" I all but yell it, making Emmett look up at me. _

"_Then who was it, Isabella?" I shrug and he sighs. "Since you have admitted you weren't hit by a car, I will have to get the police involved." I snap my eyes up to him, about to protest. I do not need the police getting involved in this. "If you tell me who it was, we may be able to sort this out between ourselves." His voice is soft and calm, giving me a fatherly feel. _

"_You can't tell anyone," I whisper, trying to be quiet so that Emmett doesn't hear what I'm about to say. If he already knows who it was, and if he hears me tell Carlisle, he may flip out and tell Rosalie I told. He would hate me even more and I can't deal with that right now. _

"_I'm not allowed to, even if I wanted to. Patient confidentiality." He smiles and I nod, happy with that answer. I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly through my nose. If I don't tell Carlisle now, I know Edward will when he next sees him. Edward was there before he was taken out. It's obvious he knows I wasn't hit by a car. _

"_It was Rosalie,." I admit, but I wasn't quiet enough. I see Emmett's head snap up out of the corner of my eye, I can feel his glare penetrating my skin. _

**Chapter twenty-four. **

**Now: **

"You fucking liar! Rosalie would never do something like this." Emmett's face is bright red as he charges towards me and towers over me, almost pushing Carlisle over on his way.

"Oh, yeah? Then why did she?" I scream back. He glares at me and I can see movement behind him, probably Carlisle.

"She wouldn't waste her time on someone like you, Isabella! Get it into your fat head that nobody cares about you!" A gasp sounds from behind Emmett and we both look to see Renee, Charlie, Carlisle, and two security guards standing at the door. Renee looks heartbroken and Charlie just looks plain mad.

The security guards step forward and ask Emmett to leave the room. He doesn't put up a fight, following them out the room silently. However, just before he gets out the room, Charlie grabs his arm.

"We will be having a word when we get home." His voice is deadly and it even sends a chill down my spine. Emmett nods and then leaves the room, closing the door loudly behind him. The room falls silent as Renee collapses into a chair, silently crying in Charlie's shoulder when he sits next to her. Carlisle doesn't try to talk to any of us; he just minds his own business and check the monitors that surround me.

I knew I shouldn't have said anything. Of course Emmett would freak out. His girlfriend did this to me; of course he is going to be upset. He must know that I wouldn't lie about something like this, though. Why would I say it was Rosalie when it wasn't? I could have named anyone else and he would have believed me; so why not believe his precious Rosalie would do something like this?

It will be very awkward when I get home. Emmett will be his normal self - angry and ignorant - and Renee will fuss over me, getting sympathy from all of her friends. She will accept their 'get-well' wishes and tell me all about how everyone is praying for me while soaking up the attention. Charlie is sure to be mad. He is going to punish Emmett, but will still let him go to his football games. He will try and see if he can get Rosalie arrested, and fail, then he will go through the school and they will give her detention or something. Everyone will give me sympathetic glances in the halls at school, then whisper about me when I have passed them by. I know what will happen, because it happens every time when this kind of thing happens to me.

"What day is it?" My eyes go to Carlisle as he looks down at his watch.

"It's Thursday, a little after two," he tells me then goes back to what he was doing. I thank him, thinking about how long it has been since I was attacked. It's been a whole day since I went to find Edward in the girls' bathroom. Twenty-four stinking hours since Rosalie decided to use me as her workout bag. Why was I out that long? Oh yeah, morphine.

Edward. I wonder how he's doing. I can't believe that I told him to go away when he was being so nice to me. I feel awful! I should have let him sit with me, let him look after me if that's what he wanted to do. I shouldn't have called him over just to be horrible to him like that. I feel so terrible about it.

A thought springs to mind and it makes my throat close over. Was Edward hurt, as well? I couldn't really see well enough earlier to make sure he was alright. I should have asked him before I told him to go away. I should have told him to tell me that he hadn't been hurt before I told him to leave. I am so selfish, I only think about me when someone else that I love might be hurt.

My stomach clenches at that thought. Why would I think about love when Edward and I are just friends? I mean, I do love him in a way, just like I love Alice and Jasper. They have all been so nice to me and they have got a place in my heart, and they always will have that space. Sure, Edward's is smaller than Alice's, but it will grow with time, I'm sure.

"Carlisle?" He turns his head and quickly signs something on the clipboard before walking over to me, standing by the bed with a polite smile on his handsome face. "Is Edward okay? I was awfully rude to him yesterday and I feel terrible." He rubs his chin before looking at me with kind eyes.

"Edward is fine; worried about you, of course. But other than that, he's good. Actually, he hasn't left the waiting room since you were brought in here," he finishes with a nod towards the door and my stomach flutters slightly at that information. Edward is here? He's so worried that he hasn't left?

"Edward's here?" I squeak out, making all three people in the room look at me. Carlisle nods and glances at my parents. "Can I see him? I want to apologize to him for being rude yesterday." Carlisle nods and Charlie stands, taking my mother's hand, and informs me that they are going to get coffee. I tell them to take their time before they follow Carlisle out of the room.

I can hear the beeping from above my head getting faster and I just wish that Carlisle would turn it off now. It obvious I am alive and I don't see why I need to still be hooked to all of these monitors and drips; although, the pain meds are more than welcome. I know as soon as they are taken away, I will be in agony. For now, they can stay.

I wonder when I can go home. Will they let me out today? Tomorrow? Never? Will I have to come back for a checkup in a few weeks? Will I have to go through physiotherapy because of my broken ribs? Will I be on pain meds when I go home? When I go back to school? Will everyone know what has happened when I get back to school? Will the teachers look at me with pity? Will the nurse have to feed me drugs when I'm at school so they don't get stolen out of my bag? Will Renee let me go back to school or will she home school me so all the other parents feel bad for her?

I'm snapped out of my musings when the door opens and Carlisle steps into the room, holding the door for Edward to follow. When Edward comes in, his eyes are on the floor, not meeting my gaze. They walk further into the room and Edward sits on the chair by the head of the bed and stares at his hands.

"Carlisle, could I lose the monitor?" I ask, referring to the monitor that is beeping loudly, almost twice the speed it was earlier. He nods and smiles knowingly before turning off the switch on the side and writing on the board by the bed that he turned it off and the time he did.

"Are you in any pain?" he asks, squeezing the drip bag. I feel the liquid rush into my veins, spreading the numb feeling all around my body. I shake my head, thanking him for his help. "Okay, I have another patient to annoy, so I will be back later." He leaves with a chuckle and I smile after him.

As soon as the door is shut, Edward looks at me and I gasp. His emerald green eyes are bloodshot and full of tears. His bottom lip is quivering slightly and his hair is more of a beautiful mess. He looks so tired, yet heartbroken at the same time. I want to reach out and take him into my arms and comfort him, and promise him that everything is going to be alright. Instead, I take his hand in mine and rub it softly.

"I am so fucking sorry, Bella." He shakes his head and buries his face in his free hand. Taking my hand back, I put both my hands on the bed and scoot so I am sitting up. The pain meds dull the throb that wildly spreads through my body; but not enough to stop the pained cry that leaves me as I finally get into my sitting position. Taking a few shallow breaths, I try to relax. I know that when I am relaxed, everything will stop hurting. Well, at least I hope it will.

"Don't move. Your ribs," Edward protests but it's already too late. I gasp for breath but every time I take one, my ribs stab at my lungs. "Do you need Carlisle?" I shake my head, concentrating on breathing. After a minute or two, I'm finally able to breathe again and I lean my head back against the pillow, closing my eyes before slowly opening them again and looking at Edward.

"How are you, Edward?" He barks out a humorless laugh and shakes his head.

"How am I? You're the one in fucking hospital!" He groans and runs his hands through his hair. "How are you, Bella?" he asks, looking at me through his fingers.

"Can't complain." I shrug and he moves his hands away from his face, smirking at me. I smile back and he leans forward, taking my hand without the IV in his, and then he rests his head on our joined hands. His hair tickles my wrist before I bring my other hand over and run it through his hair.

"I was so worried about you. This is all my fault." He sighs. I grip his hair lightly and pull his head back, making him look at me.

"How is this your fault? I came after you. I told you about the cuts. If anything, this is all my fault." He shakes his head, looking at me like I am crazy.

"I shouldn't have run off. I should have let you tell me about it before I jumped to conclusions. I shouldn't have left you in that room with Rosalie, and I should have fought harder to get you out safely." His voice is so pained it sends a pang to my heart.

"What did they do to you?" I ask, but I'm not sure I want to know.

"They took me into the woods and just threw me down. They didn't even touch me because they know I would kill them if they did. They wouldn't let me past them, so I couldn't get to you and when I did get away, the door was locked and I just couldn't get in. After a while, I went to find Jasper and Alice and the next thing I knew, an ambulance has arrived because you have been hit by a car.

"My head is so fucked right now. God, I don't know what to think anymore. Ever since you came into my life, I can't do anything and I can't think straight. Everything I do comes back to you. When I take a pill or smoke a joint, you come into my head, telling me not to do it. When I go to sleep, I imagine you there with me, running your hands through my hair or just laying with me. I want you to be with me all the time and I just…" He groans and looks up at me, finally meeting my eyes.

"I'm just so fucking confused," he finishes and my heart skips a beat.

Why did he just tell me that? What good does any of that do anyone? This just makes me more confused than ever. What does he want me to say now? Does he want to know that when he walks into a room, I don't have to look to know he's there? Does he want to know I can feel him when he is near me, even if I had no clue that he was nearby? Does he want to know that just thinking about him makes my heart race and my palms get sweaty? Does he want to know he gives me butterflies?

"I don't know what to say," I whisper, but he hears me. His eyes are still locked with mine and I can see questions swimming in his eyes. I have no doubt he can see the questions in mine. I want to look into his eyes forever, but a yawn interrupts my gazing, making me shut my eyes in pain. Yawning puts too much pressure on my ribs and I gasp out, hoping Edward doesn't notice. He does and he shakes his head, his eyes filling with tears again.

"Go to sleep. I promise I will be here when you wake up." I nod and lay back down slowly and carefully. He helps, fluffing my pillow and pulling the covers over me, tucking me in when I am comfortable. Sitting back in the seat, he takes my good hand and runs patterns across the soft skin with his finger tip.

Our breathing makes everything seem calm and he begins to hum softly, making my eyes flutter shut. I try to stay awake, but have my eyes closed, listening to him as he breathes and hums and feeling his soft finger run over my skin. Everything is so peaceful, and as his scent surrounds me, sleep takes me under.

**Do you guys still hate me? Thinks will start looking up for Bella now, well unless my mind takes me somewhere else than where I plan. **

**Leave me a review? Even if it is just a small comment about the chapter or a paragraph telling me how much you hate me. Whatever you choose :D **

**Thank you all again for the amount of reviews this story has gotten for the last few chapters. Your support takes my breath away :').**

**Thank you for reading. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	27. Chapter 25

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

_Why did he just tell me that? What good does any of that do anyone? This just makes me more confused than ever. What does he want me to say now? Does he want to know that when he walks into a room, I don't have to look to know he's there? Does he want to know I can feel him when he is near me, even if I had no clue that he was nearby? Does he want to know that just thinking about him makes my heart race and my palms get sweaty? Does he want to know he gives me butterflies? _

"_I don't know what to say," I whisper, but he hears me. His eyes are still locked with mine and I can see questions swimming in his eyes. I have no doubt he can see the questions in mine. I want to look into his eyes forever, but a yawn interrupts my gazing, making me shut my eyes in pain. Yawning puts too much pressure on my ribs and I gasp out, hoping Edward doesn't notice. He does and he shakes his head, his eyes filling with tears again. _

"_Go to sleep. I promise I will be here when you wake up." I nod and lay back down slowly and carefully. He helps, fluffing my pillow and pulling the covers over me, tucking me in when I am comfortable. Sitting back in the seat, he takes my good hand and runs patterns across the soft skin with his finger tip. _

_Our breathing makes everything seem calm and he begins to hum softly, making my eyes flutter shut. I try to stay awake, but have my eyes closed, listening to him as he breathes and hums and feeling his soft finger run over my skin. Everything is so peaceful, and as his scent surrounds me, sleep takes me under. _

**Chapter twenty-five. **

**Now: **

I wake slowly, the pain registering just as slowly. I try to stretch my arms above my head, groaning as the action pulls my broken ribs. I lower my arms again and blink a few times, trying to adjust my eyes to the bright light of the hospital room. Looking around, I see a bronze head of hair lying just by my right hand. His hand is holding mine, and I bring my left hand over and run my fingers through his hair, just like I did yesterday. Or was it earlier today?

I lean over slightly and look at the watch on Edward's wrist. It's apparently seven am and I wonder why Edward isn't at home, getting ready for school. Maybe Esme is coming to get him in a while and he dozed off? Do I wake him up? Do I let him sleep and Esme can wake him up when she arrives?

I decide to leave alone him for now; I don't know what time he went to sleep. I would hate to wake him and have him still be tired, especially when he has school today. That is, if he goes to school today. Knowing Edward, I doubt he will, but I'm sure Esme or Carlisle will be able to convince him to go.

Running the length of his hair through my fingers, I can't help but marvel at how soft it is. I must ask him what conditioner he uses, because I have to get some of it. If I had hair as soft as his, I would be running my fingers through it every day for the rest of my life. I guess that's why he does it when he's upset or angry or anything really. It must calm him like food calms me.

I scratch his scalp lightly as I run my hands through his hair. I can remember when my mom used to do that to me as a child. It would comfort me and send me back to sleep when I had nightmares. After the incident when I was younger, my mom would sit with me for hours and run her fingers through my hair, promising me that everything would be okay. I believed her, of course. I used to believe everything my parents said.

I look at Edward and realize how uncomfortable he must be. His head is on the bed, but his body is still in a sitting position. His head is slumped, leaving his neck at an uncomfortable angle. His back and neck are going be giving him trouble today. Maybe I should wake him, just to tell him to go home and get into a comfortable bed. My eyes are still on Edward and my hand pauses in his hair as he begins to stir.

"Hmm. Don't stop." He groans and I blush, quickly pulling my hand away. Sitting up slowly, he smirks at me sleepily before reaching his hands above his head making the bones in his back crack. He also rolls his head and his neck cracks before sitting forward again, taking my hand in his and caressing it softly.

"Good morning," I greet, smiling with my cheeks still warm.

"It is." He smiles back and I shake my head at him. "How are you feeling?" His voice turns soft.

"High," I joke and he laughs.

"Maybe I should persuade Carlisle to let me have some of that." My smile falls and I glare at him, pulling my hand out of his grasp and fiddling with my other hand in my lap. "Okay, that wasn't funny. I'm sorry," he says and scoots closer slightly, taking my hand in his again.

"How are you really feeling?" he asks again and I shrug.

"I'm okay. As good as can be expected, I suppose." He nods and glances at his watch before pulling out his phone and quickly typing on it with his free hand. He puts his phone away when he finishes, and then smiles his crooked smile at me. He tells me he was letting Esme know he's okay and that he won't be in school today. I roll my eyes at him, but I can't help but be happy he's not going into school. Is it selfish of me to want him with me for a little longer?

Edward and I talk for a little while, he tries to make me smile and I try to smile without hurting myself too much. He makes me laugh and the look on my face gives away my pain, so he stops trying to make me laugh and settles with smiles.

"Hello, Isabella, Edward." We both look up to see Carlisle enter the room, a big smile on his face and a clipboard in his hands.

"Hey, Dad." Edward greets at the same time I say, "Hi, Carlisle."

"I've come to see how you are this morning," Carlisle tells me and stands at the bottom of the bed, looking at our joined hands before smiling brightly at me.

"I'm fine, thanks."

"Any pain?"

"Just my ribs, really." I don't know why but I blush when I say this. Edward laughs at my reaction and Carlisle smiles at his son, his eyes shining.

"Okay, Isabella. I have called your parents and they are on their way to come a get you." I smile widely.

"I can go home?" I all but squeal and they both laugh at that.

"Yes, Isabella. I will give you some pain meds for your ribs and the bruising, but you should be just fine at home." I thank him and he leaves, promising to be back in an hour with my discharge papers and, hopefully, my parents.

Edward is quiet for a while after Carlisle leaves, obviously caught up in his own thoughts. I let him be; knowing that if it was something important he would tell me what was bothering him. Well, I hope he would. I would tell him if I thought he needed to know something.

Thinking back a few days, I can't help but wonder if Rosalie did have this planned out. It seems too coincidental with the car and everyone agreeing it was an accident to be just a spontaneous thought. Sure, the whole getting beat up thing must have been spontaneous, because she didn't know I would be there at that time. Maybe she thought she would get me to go to her again and beat me up then have people believe I was hit by a car at another time. Maybe my birthday? That would be a great gift, wouldn't it?

Just the other day, when Edward got high, he was gone for hours and when I finally caught up with him, he was high and obviously upset about something. Maybe he was with her and she was thinking her plan through? Maybe she was arranging dates and times with all her little friends? Maybe that's why Edward got high? Maybe she had planned it to happen that day and he got high, knowing I would take him home?

"_You can't go back to school today. Not without me being there."_

"_It doesn't matter. Just promise me you won't go back into school today"_

I gasp and Edward quickly jumps up, leaning over me and asking me what's wrong. I shake my head, looking at him in confusion.

"The other day. Why wouldn't you let me go back to school without you?" I ask, my voice shaking slightly. He runs his hands through his hair and relief crosses his face.

"I thought something was happening to you then. Don't fucking gasp when you are in a hospital bed." He groans and sits down. I frown at him, annoyed that he didn't answer my question.

"Edward, why wouldn't you let me go back to school on my own?" I ask again and he frowns at the floor before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his cigarette packet. He knows he can't smoke in here, right? I mean, he should. Carlisle is a doctor, for crying out loud.

"Do you really think Rosalie would come up with this all on her own? And so quickly?" I shake my head and roll my eyes. I'm not that stupid. "I was going out for a smoke the other day and I heard Rosalie and Tanya talking about something. I stopped and listened for a bit and they were talking about you. I stormed over there and told them not to touch you, but I could see Rosalie wanted to. I tried so hard to stop you from getting hurt and then this happens, which I had no idea about," he quickly assures me and I know he wouldn't. He would have told someone if he knew this was going to happen. "God! Why do you even want to be my friend?" I shrug at him and his face falls a little.

"Edward, I want to be your friend because you are a good guy under that tough exterior." He shakes his head and laughs bitterly.

"I am not a good guy. Trust me on that." I ask him what he means by that, but he tells me not to worry.

Sighing, I decide to let the conversation drop. He obviously knew they were planning to hurt me and that is why he didn't want me to go back to school without him. The thing is, he can't fight my battles for me. If I went back and he happened to be there to, he can't just step in and demand that they leave me alone. Things don't work like that. Rosalie wanted me to suffer, and she got what she wanted.

"Bella?" I look up at Edward and see that he is putting his packet of cigarettes away again.

"Yeah?" I reply, nervous about what he wants to ask for some reason.

"Why didn't you fight back? I mean, Rosalie walked away without a scratch on her and you ended up in the hospital." I bite my lip gently, not wanting to damage it anymore that it already is. I see Edward lean forward and he pulls my lip away from my teeth, making me glance up at his lip. It seems to be healing well, but I still feel so bad about what I did to him.

"I didn't want to fight back."

"Why not?" he asks, his tone hard.

"Because it would make me just as bad as she is!" I exclaim, throwing my hands in the air. "If I hit her back, I would feel what she feels every time she hits me and I would hate myself for it. I would feel powerful and I would think about how good I feel while she feels the pain she normally gives me. I wanted to get away, but I couldn't hurt her, Edward. I couldn't!" I cry and he stands from the chair, crawling onto the bed and taking me into his arms.

I cry against his chest for a while, letting my pain out with my tears. He just strokes my hair softly, telling me that he won't let her hurt me again. I want to believe him, but I know she will get back at me, one way or another. Telling people about Rosalie doesn't mean that it will stop her. She will just be more careful about where and how she does it.

After my crying fit, he toes off his shoes and says he will lay with me for a bit. I blush like mad when he says that, but he rolls his eyes and helps me make room for him on the small bed. There isn't much room for him, what with my size and everything, but he assures me he's comfortable where he is.

As his hands slowly weave through my hair, he tells me how beautiful it is and that I should wear it down more often. I shrug off his comment, not wanting to tell him why I don't wear it down. I don't want it cut off or ripped out. Having it up is easier, anyway; it doesn't get in my way.

When Renee, Carlisle, and Charlie come into the room, Edward is on the bed next to me. Our parents stop dead in their tracks and look at us wide-eyed, although Carlisle looks like he knew this would happen. How he knew it would happen is beyond me, but I don't really care right now. As I look at Charlie, I see his face slowly turning redder and redder. He is glaring straight at Edward and I worry that Charlie will have a heart attack. Well, if he does, at least he's in a hospital.

"What the hell are you doing, boy?" Charlie walks towards the bed and glares at Edward. I feel Edward swallow hard behind me and I bite back a laugh.

"N-n-nothing, sir," Edward stutters and slowly removes himself from the bed, making my side go cold.

"Are you corrupting my daughter, boy?" Charlie spits and I see Renee roll her eyes at the same time I do. However, Edward seems to have forgotten how to breathe as he glances at Carlisle for help.

"Dad, leave him alone. I asked Edward to lay with me." His face softens and he nods once. With one last hard look at Edward, he goes to stand next to my mother again. She smiles widely at me and I smile back. When I smile, I feel my lip pull. I grimace and bring my hand to my lip, feeling blood there. Great, just when I thought it was healing nicely! Before I can reach for a tissue, Edward is sitting on the side of the bed and leaning towards me, dabbing at my cut with a fresh tissue. I blush and thank him, but I don't move to take over.

"Now we match." He grins, obviously referring to my cut that now matches his scar.

"So we do," I reply but it comes out weird as Edward has my bottom lip trapped. He smiles. His eyes meet mine and he doesn't look away like he normally does. I don't make a move to look away either, making him smirk at me.

Charlie clears his throat from across the room before asking Carlisle what I have to sign to get out of here. Carlisle walks over to my left and slowly takes out the IV, smiling at me sympathetically when a tear rolls down my cheek. When he finishes, he goes to get the forms as Renee goes into the bathroom with a clean hoodie and some sweats. I am thankful there is nothing she brought that would hurt my bruises or my ribs.

Both she and Edward help me to swing my legs off the bed and slowly stand. I wince and stop, trying to get air into my lungs without hurting my ribs too badly. When I am ready, they walk me to the bathroom and Edward leaves us at the door. Renee, however, comes in with me, telling me I will definitely need help to get a t-shirt on. I thank her as she sits me on the toilet lid and starts to help me get dressed.

I blush the whole time. I feel so useless - I can't even bend down to get my sweats on. Renee, however, doesn't seem to mind. She even tells me it's nice to be able to look after me again since Emmett and I are very independent now, what with us both being seventeen. When I am dressed, I thank her and she helps me get back into the room and sit on one of the low chairs in the room.

"Okay, Isabella. I need you to sign here and I need your parents to sign here as you are under eighteen." Carlisle points out to us what we need to sign. Soon, I am in a wheelchair being pushed through the halls by Edward, medicine in hand and an order of bed rest for the next week or so.

Edward leaves us at our car, but I make him promise to come by later. He says he will and he leaves with a smile to all of us. Charlie and Renee get me in the car without too much difficulty, and we set off for home.

"I like that boy, Isabella," Renee tells me from her place next to me in the back seat. I smile at her and see Charlie glance at me front the rear-view mirror.

"I do too, Mom," I admit, my cheeks filling with that traitor blush.

**Thank you guys so much for the love and support you have all shown me with this story. Each and every review I get shows me that you guys appreciate what I do and it makes me feel so happy that I decided to continue with this story. So thank you all for being so supportive and I promise things will start looking up for Bella, for a while. **

**I don't know if I will be able to update for a few weeks, or at least until I get home in three weeks as my nan is having surgery on her back this week and I will probably be with her in Dublin for a week. When she gets out of hospital I will be helping her as she will be in bed recovering for 6 months.  
**

**Can we try and get to 400 reviews by the next chapter? Please? It would actually make my life :)  
**

**I have been asked a few times about how long this story is going to be. I would say it is going to be about 35-40 chapters, but if you think that is too long, let me know and I will try to sort it out. **

**A big thanks to my BETA RuthPerk, you're brilliant! **

**Thanks for reading and please leave a review. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	28. Chapter 26

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

_I blush the whole time. I feel so useless - I can't even bend down to get my sweats on. Renee, however, doesn't seem to mind. She even tells me it's nice to be able to look after me again since Emmett and I are very independent now, what with us both being seventeen. When I am dressed, I thank her and she helps me get back into the room and sit on one of the low chairs in the room. _

"_Okay, Isabella. I need you to sign here and I need your parents to sign here as you are under eighteen." Carlisle points out to us what we need to sign. Soon, I am in a wheelchair being pushed through the halls by Edward, medicine in hand and an order of bed rest for the next week or so. _

_Edward leaves us at our car, but I make him promise to come by later. He says he will and he leaves with a smile to all of us. Charlie and Renee get me in the car without too much difficulty, and we set off for home. _

"_I like that boy, Isabella," Renee tells me from her place next to me in the back seat. I smile at her and see Charlie glance at me front the rear-view mirror. _

"_I do too, Mom," I admit, my cheeks filling with that traitor blush. _

**Chapter twenty-six.**

**Now: **

As soon as we are through the door and sitting in the living room, Charlie turns into Chief Swan. He asks me time and time again who did this to me, but I won't tell him. Carlisle said we could sort this out between the two of us, and I don't want my dad to go around arresting people.

Renee sits next to me, holding my hand and reading the leaflets Carlisle gave her about how to properly handle my ribs so they will heal easy and quickly.

"Please, Isabella. Just tell me who it was," Charlie pleads from his place on the recliner. I sigh and look around the room. "Emmett told me you said it was Rosalie Hale. Is that true?" he asks and I silently curse for telling Carlisle who it was when Emmett was in the room.

If I don't tell Charlie, I know he will find out through his police buddies or through Carlisle. I know Carlisle said he wasn't allowed to say anything, but even the most trustworthy of people slip up sometimes.

"Yeah, Dad. It was." I sigh and he shakes his head before standing up and leaving the room. Renee sniffs and I look over to see tears slowly trickling down her face. When I ask her what's wrong, she tells me she's fine and quickly gets up, saying she will be back with a cup of hot tea.

Finally alone, I lean my head back and close my eyes. Everything in the past few days has been so confusing and chaotic. Why would Rosalie put me in the hospital? What made her want to do this to me? As far as I know, I haven't ever done anything to her. I know she was scared when Edward confronted her, but she didn't need to take it out on me. I know she said it was because I 'ran to Edward', but I didn't make him go to her.; I didn't force him to take things into his own hands.

When Emmett blew up at me and made Charlie mad at him, I knew he blamed me for it. It wouldn't be so bad if he was in control of his anger. He gets himself into these situations, and then blames everyone around him for his mistakes. If I was Emmett, I wouldn't let myself get so angry and I would hear all the facts before I blew up like that.

Charlie's and Renee's reactions to everything, and to each other, have to be the most confusing thing for me. I thought they were getting a divorce, and then Charlie has his arms around her and she's all over him, too. I would be more than happy if they are giving it another go, because they are my parents and I don't want them to split up, but I think I have the right to know what is going on in my household. The last I knew, Charlie was going away for a while. I guess that isn't going to happen now.

I wonder if they are getting back together for the sake of Emmett and me. Maybe they think that Emmett will calm down and I will go back to being who I used to if they stay together. Together, they can handle both us. If they split up for good, Renee will have to have one of us live with her and Charlie will have to have the other. Who would I want to live with if they separate?

Thinking back on who I was just a month ago, I can't help but notice the changes in me. I am more confident around my friends, all three of them. A month ago, I would have said my one and only friend was Alice; and Jasper sometimes when he's around. Now, I would say that I'm not afraid to stand up for myself against Emmett, and even Edward. If I want something done, Edward knows not to object. When he is around, I feel like I don't have to hide myself from everyone anymore because Edward will protect me if I need protecting. I would like to be able to think that I'm not as scared as I was back then; but I can't, because I am still afraid. When I walk into school, I feel the fear dance up and down my spine and I can feel my body tense. In the last month, the biggest change is that I have let someone in. I let Edward in, thinking he would hurt me, and I was surprisingly wrong.

With him being in my life, I can now see why people are always smiling and wanting to be at school to see their friends. I want to smile when he's around and I want to see him at school, even if it is just across the hall or in class. I want to be around him because I like the feelings he unknowingly gives me.

When Richard was still around, I never felt like this. Sure, at the beginning I went into school with a smile on my face, but after a while, he worked hard trying to remove it. The feelings he gave me are so different from the feelings I get from Edward, it's almost funny. Richard was good looking, I will admit that, but Edward is so much more handsome. Richard didn't want to be seen with me because he knew how good looking he was and he was ashamed of me. Edward will flaunt that fact we are friends in everyone's faces and make me feel beautiful.

If Edward and I weren't friends, I think I would be in much worse shape than I am now. If we weren't friends, I probably would willingly go to Rosalie and offer myself to her just to make the pain in my heart go away. Before, the pain in every heart beat took my breath away. I would want to cry constantly for days on end, and only stop because exhaustion took over. Crying was the only way I could let go of everything and _not _hurt myself. It relieved the ache in my heart and allowed me to _breathe_ again.

Now, I have Edward as a friend; he lets me get rid of everything I have building up. That is if he allows anything to get built up. Sure, Edward pushes my buttons from time to time, but he is also there to help me when I have been hurt. He picks me up and allows me to be me, if only for a while.

Take the last few days; he was there with me the whole time. He didn't leave until he knew I was okay and even then, he only left because he had no choice. I don't think Charlie would be up for him catching a lift back with us. I used to think Edward was a completely different person from who he really is, and I hate myself for what I used to think of him. He's such a sweet, kind, caring guy. The perfect guy.

"She's asleep, but you're more than welcome to come in." I hear my mom whisper. Soon, I hear footsteps, but I can't find it in me to open my eyes. The seat cushion next to me slowly sinks as someone sits down. They are obviously trying not to move the seats too much as they sit down very slowly.

"Her face looks like a mess." A male voice sighs and I fight the urge to roll my eyes. Yeah, you would too, buddy.

"Jazz, shut up." A female voice hisses back and I fight the urge to smile. Alice. The person next to me moves and I tense my body so that it doesn't jolt my ribs too much.

"I know you're awake, Bella," A smooth voice whispers softly to me and I slowly open one eye, peeping at the person next to me. I almost gasp when I see how close he is to me. The top half of his body is a breath away from my arm and his face is about an inch from mine. My other eye snaps open and they both widen. He smirks at me and backs away, leaning against the arm of the chair with his ankle resting on the other leg.

Blinking a few times, I scan the room and I spot Alice sitting in the recliner with Jasper sitting between her feet. Her hands are running through his hair as they both look at me with sympathetic faces. I look away. I don't want their sympathy. Esme is sitting with Renee on the couch and she smiles softly at me. I smile back and shift, feeling the jolt from my ribs. I moan quietly, but Edward still hears me.

"You okay?" His voice is so low that only I can hear it and I nod to let him know that I am, indeed, okay. Nobody talks for a while and the silence is awkward. Everyone seems to be shifting and looking at each other, avoiding me completely. I'm about to speak when Alice beats me to it.

"So, how are you feeling, Isabella?"

"I'm okay. A little pain, but you know." I shrug, regretting it completely. The pain must be evident on my face because Renee is up and in the kitchen before I can even blink. She returns with my pain killers and a glass of water, which I readily accept. I swallow a tiny white pill and the whole glass of water quickly. I blush when I hand back the glass, realizing that everyone had been watching.

"Esme, will you help me get some snacks for this lot?" Renee asks with a smile, but I know she just wants to give me some time with my friends. Esme nods and gets to her feet, following my mother into the kitchen. Nobody says anything until the kitchen door closes. As soon as it does, Alice is running across the room and throwing herself at my legs. She's gentle when she wraps her arms around my shins, but I still wince as she presses on a bruise.

"I was so worried about you! I can't believe how much of a bitch Rosalie is! I want to grab her stupid fake hair extensions and pull them out of her stupid head!" she all but yells against my knees and both Jasper and Edward shake their heads at her. I awkwardly pat her head and she backs away from me and lowers herself into the tiny space next to me. She grabs my hand lightly, offering her silent support. I smile at her in thanks, not knowing what else to say.

"She's right though, Iz. We were worried sick about you. We were going to come after you, but the bell rang and we just thought that you had gone to class." Jasper pauses and glances at Alice. "We went to physics and we were half way through the lesson when some students ran in yelling about an accident. Mr Morris told us to stay put, but Ali had a bad feeling. We followed him and there you were, lying on the ground in front of a car."

"I wanted to go to you, but the police were holding us all back. Rosalie ran over to us and asked what had happened. When I told her you had been hit by a car, she laughed and walked off, saying how you deserved it. I was going to go after her but Jazz held me back," Alice puts in, squeezing my hand lightly. "Edward found us and told us what Rosalie had done to you and then when he saw you, he…" Edward cuts her off.

"I called Carlisle." He glares at Alice and she smirks at him slightly. What is all that about?

"Yeah, _he called Carlisle_." She makes quote marks with her spare hand mockingly. She leans closer to me and puts her mouth near my ear. "He completely broke down, Isabella." she whispers and I don't think anyone else heard her. I turn to look at Edward and I can't help but notice how tired he looks. Sleeping in a chair in the hospital for a night mustn't have been comfortable enough for him to get a good night's sleep. Did he really break down when he thought I was hurt? Why was he so upset? Does he really care about me that much?

"I'm sorry I worried you all so much. I'm fine now," I mutter, looking down at the floor by my feet.

"We're glad you're okay now, Bella. But, it shouldn't have happened in the first place." Edward takes my other hand and turns his body so he is practically facing me full on.

"It was bound to happen. If I had only tried to fit in more…" He cuts me off.

"No, Bella. You don't need to fit in at all. Anyone can cover themselves in make-up and nice clothing to fit in. It your inner-beauty that makes you stand out. You're perfect the way you are, Bella." His eyes don't leave mine as he says this and I can see nothing but honesty in them. I blush as I realize what he just said. He thinks I'm perfect? He must be delusional; or high? Is he high? I narrow my eyes at him, but I can't see anything other than tiredness in his chiseled features.

"Aww! You two are so cute. When's the wedding?" Alice squeals and jumps up before charging at Jasper and sitting in his lap. We all chuckle at her silly assumptions.

"Next weekend, actually. Jazz, you'll be my best man, right? I would say you could bring Alice, but she isn't invited," Edward jokes and I flush a little more. Jasper nods and Alice sticks her tongue out at her brother before resting her head on Jasper's shoulder. They are so cute together. I have always thought that, and I think I always will.

We all stop joking around when Charlie walks into the room. His face is glum and I want to take his hand and comfort him. Unfortunately, he is too far out of my reach and I can't lean over to him without injuring myself further.

"Hey, Chief," Alice greets Charlie and Edward offers him a smile. Jasper also says hello, but then goes quiet. Why is it that guys always go quiet around my dad? I know he's a police officer, but it doesn't mean that he will arrest anyone for talking to him.

"I called the school about Rosalie," he states, turning to look at me. I look at my lap, seeing my hand in Edward's. He squeezes it, offering his support. "The principle is going to expel Rosalie." I breathe a sigh of relief. At least when I go back to school, she won't be there. "I also took a trip to her house with some of my buddies from the station." My blood runs cold. Why would he do that? What has he done?

"And?" Edward asks.

"She's at the station. I have charged her with assault. She turned eighteen a few weeks ago, so it will probably go to court. I can't personally take it further because I'm family of the victim." I look up at Charlie, shock evident on my features as he gestures to me. Why would he do that? Sure, Rosalie won't be at school, but all of her friends will. He's probably just made this ten times worse.

But then again, if she's gone, people may take pity on me. They may leave me alone to get on with my life, just like I have always wanted. Sure, I want justice for what she has done, but I don't want her to get hurt. I know what people do to pretty girls in prison. She's going to be someone's 'bitch'. I swallow hard at the thought.

"T-t-thanks, Dad," I stutter and he leaves the room.

"That's amazing! She's finally getting what she deserves!" Alice laughs and I smile slightly. When you put it like that, it does seem to make sense.

"She's going to be someone's bitch," Edward snorts and I look at him. Did he know I was thinking the same thing? He couldn't have.

Our conversation goes to slightly lighter subjects, all of us laughing softly. I can't really laugh, it hurts too much. They all seem to know this as they keep everything on the lighter side; meaning a smile is enough to some of the things they say. Edward will say something about Alice and Jasper under his breath and I will giggle lightly or blush like mad at what he says. Alice and Jasper pause to watch us sometimes with curious expressions on both of their faces.

That in itself makes me more embarrassed. Why does everyone have to watch me all the time, especially when I'm around Edward? Everything I do seems to be watched, almost as if they are waiting to see what I'm going to do next. I'm not going to eat him or anything.

The thought makes me roll my eyes at myself. I'm sure that if Edward could read minds, he would get a kick out of mine. Nothing seems to make sense up there anymore, since I agreed to be Edward's friend. Maybe he's some kind of voodoo witch, or something, and he's messing with my mind?

Yeah, the tablets are getting to me; either that, or years of living with Renee for a mother.

I shift into a more comfortable position, my head against the back of the couch, and I listen to Edward, Jasper, and Alice talk. Their voices lull me towards sleep, but I try to fight it. My eyelids are fluttering, trying to find sleep, but I fight back as hard as I can. Almost sensing my battle, Edward tugs on my hand a little, making me look at him.

"Night, Bella." He smirks and I smile back.

"I'm not tired," I slur, feeling stupid as soon as I speak. Alice giggles and Jasper snorts at me.

"Go to sleep." Edward moves over to me and puts his arm around my shoulders. Without thinking, I snuggle into his side; my head going to his shoulder. I'm surrounded by Edward and sleep quickly overtakes me.

**You guys are amazing. I can't believe how popular this story seems to be. I never thought this could happen. This story has also gotten the most reviews I have EVER had, so thank you all for your support :') **

**Thank you everyone who has been asking about my nan. The operation went better than expected and she is coming home today :D She's still sore, obviously, but she is walking well and going up and down stairs and everything. :)  
**

**A big THANK YOU to my BETA, RuthPerk. :D Thank you! **

**Thanks for reading. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	29. Chapter 27

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

_The thought makes me roll my eyes at myself. I'm sure that if Edward could read minds, he would get a kick out of mine. Nothing seems to make sense up there anymore, since I agreed to be Edward's friend. Maybe he's some kind of voodoo witch, or something, and he's messing with my mind? _

_Yeah, the tablets are getting to me; either that, or years of living with Renee for a mother. _

_I shift into a more comfortable position, my head against the back of the couch, and I listen to Edward, Jasper, and Alice talk. Their voices lull me towards sleep, but I try to fight it. My eyelids are fluttering, trying to find sleep, but I fight back as hard as I can. Almost sensing my battle, Edward tugs on my hand a little, making me look at him. _

"_Night, Bella." He smirks and I smile back. _

"_I'm not tired," I slur, feeling stupid as soon as I speak. Alice giggles and Jasper snorts at me. _

"_Go to sleep." Edward moves over to me and puts his arm around my shoulders. Without thinking, I snuggle into his side; my head going to his shoulder. I'm surrounded by Edward and sleep quickly overtakes me._

**Chapter twenty-seven.**

**Now: **

"Come on, Isabella, you'll be late for school." Renee sighs, running her hand through my hair gently. I want to tell her to go away and leave me alone, but I know I can't. If I do, she will go into 'strict mom' mode and demand that I get out of bed, 'or else'. I know she won't ever be able to physically get me out of the bed, but the threat is enough on most days. Today, however, I think I would rather have her threat than go to school.

"I hurt," I whine, burying my head deeper into the pillow. It has been a week since the incident with Rosalie, and I'm still in a lot of pain with my ribs. I know it won't be long until they heal, but I don't want to go back to school. Alice has already informed me that everyone knows what really happened and they all know I was never hit by a car. Just the thought of walking through the gate, with everyone's eyes on me, makes me want to throw up.

"I know you do. That's why you are going to have lots of lovely pain killers before you leave," she sings out and stands up from the bed, ripping the blanket off of me. I have never been more thankful I don't sleep naked. With a sigh, I slowly sit up in the bed and gingerly stretch my arms over my head before looking at the clock. I have just over an hour to get ready; I have plenty of time.

I shower and dress then put my wet hair up in a ponytail. It will probably still be wet at school, but a glance out the window tells me that it's raining, so it would get wet anyway. I meet Renee in the kitchen and she has a bowl of corn flakeson the table waiting for me. I smile and quickly eat, knowing I need to leave a little early to get to school on time. My ribs don't let me breathe very well still and I normally walk quite fast to school. So, I have to walk slower and take extra time getting there. I'll take an umbrella.

I thank my mother again for breakfast as I put the bowl in the sink, making her roll her eyes. She'll wash it up for me. I put on my boots and coat before opening the door, checking to see if the rain had stopped any. As soon as the door is open, I can see the silver car at the end of the driveway and the person sitting in the front seat. I smile to myself and call out a goodbye to Renee before walking to the car.

The door pops open from the inside and I smile at Edward as I climb in.

"Good morning." His smile is slightly crooked, and I feel blood heat my cheeks.

"Hi,." I greet back, putting on the seat belt as he pulls away from the curb. The ride to school is quiet; the patter of the rain and the soft hum of his radio are the only sounds. It isn't an uncomfortable silence, it's nice. I never thought I would get close enough to anyone where words aren't needed. I don't even have that kind of friendship with Alice and I never thought I would with Edward. I'm glad I do.

We pull up to the school; I can feel my palms getting sweaty and my heart speeding up. I don't want to be here. If I ask Edward, would he take me away from here? Just skip school for the day with me? I doubt it very much, but I could ask anyway…

As if sensing my hesitation, Edward turns off the car and takes the keys out of the ignition. Next, he takes my hand in the both of his and I just hope he can't feel how clammy they are. If he does feel it, he doesn't let on that he can. He captures my eyes with his and offers me a small smile. Somehow, it makes everything seem okay, if only for a second.

"Today is going to be fine. If you need anything, you come and find me. Okay?" I nod pathetically at him. "If anyone so much as looks at you the wrong way, I will sort it out."

"Promise?" I whisper. I can already feel eyes on Edward and me as we sit in the car.

"I promise." And his crooked smile makes me believe him even more. I nod slightly and he lets go of my hand before climbing out the car. I don't make a move, just sitting still, hoping I can stay here for the rest of the day. I'm at school, so it isn't like I'm skipping or anything.

The door opens and I turn my head to see Edward's hand extend out to me. With a deep breath, I take it and slowly get out the car. Everyone's eyes go to me and I whimper silently. I really wish I had said yes to Alice now when she offered her cover-up to me. I know my face is a display of cuts and colors right now, and everyone within seeing distance can clearly see it all. I want to go home.

"It will be okay. Just ignore them all," he whispers in my ear, his breath fanning across the skin of my neck. I shiver. Alice and Jasper walk over to us with big smiles on their faces. I greet them both and listen to the conversation they have with Edward, trying not to look at any of the people watching me.

All four of us freeze when a large Jeep pulls into the parking lot, loud music screaming out of the windows. My heart stops then picks up double time as the music stops and all of the doors open. Tanya, Jessica, Lauren, Emmett, and eventually, Rosalie, all get out the car. I can see them all scanning the lot and when Rosalie's eyes land on me, she narrows them, making her entourage follow her gaze to me.

"She can't do anything to you. Don't worry," Edward whispers, his hand slowly sliding into my mine. All four of the girls start to walk over to our small group, and it's like a really cheesy chick flick. I can just imagine them all walking in slow motion, flipping their hair over their shoulders as some girly song plays quietly in the background. I would roll my eyes if I wasn't so nervous. I hate not knowing what is going to happen.

They all eventually stand in front of us, Rosalie in the front with the others flanking her. Even Emmett stands in the background, looking between me and Rosalie, as if debating with himself. I want to laugh at him. It's a bit late to choose sides now, Emmett.

"First Edward, now daddy," Rosalie hisses at me, shaking her head in disgust. I frown in confusion, what is she talking about?

"What?" I breathe, completely confused.

"You. Running to people to stick up for you. You're pathetic." She laughs, shaking her head. The other three girls join in with her, laughing far too loudly and obnoxiously. I smirk to myself internally. Do they know they look completely stupid right now?

What would she do if she found out I wasn't that the one who told Charlie? What would she do if she found out that Emmett actually told Charlie, and I just confirmed it? She's fine with doing things when she wants, but she can't handle the consequences. I want to tell her it was actually Emmett who blew her in, but I don't know how she would react to that. On second thought, I think I will tell her; give her a taste of her own medicine. Emmett looks at the ground, a guilty expression on his face.

"Actually, Rosalie. I didn't tell Charlie," I tell her after she has stopped laughing and I'm quite surprised at the strength in my voice. She smirks at me disbelievingly. I see Emmett's head pop up and I look at him. His eyes are pleading with me not to tell her and I almost feel bad for my brother. Almost.

"Oh, yeah? Then who did?" She chuckles. I can now see the panic in Emmett's eyes as he shakes his head, begging silently still. Is Emmett afraid of Rosalie? What could she have possibly done to make him so frightened of her?

"Emmett," I say simply. I don't know where all of this confidence has come from all of a sudden and with a quick glance at Edward, Alice, and Jasper, they don't seem to know either. I would almost be proud of myself if I wasn't so nervous about Rosalie's reaction.

"Liar," she hisses. I shake my head.

"If you don't believe me, ask him yourself." I shrug and feel Edward's hand squeeze mine. I squeeze back, but don't take my eyes off of Rosalie. I don't want to be unprepared if she chooses to attack.

I look back at her to see a murderous look on her face. Only, it isn't pointed at me, it's pointed at my brother who is looking at the ground again, obviously giving himself away. Her hands are in fists by her sides and all of her friends have even taken a step away from her.

"Tell me she is lying," Rosalie whispers, but her voice is icy cold. Emmett doesn't say anything and she walks over to him, grabbing his shirt. "I said tell me she's fucking lying!" she yells and everyone that wasn't already watching this turns and looks over at the display.

Emmett shakes his head sadly and Rosalie screams out once in frustration. I can see the pain in Emmett's eyes as he looks at her, but I can't find it in me to care. I love my brother dearly. Well, I love the person my brother _used _to be. This person isn't the Emmett I know, and he hasn't been since that night. I shiver thinking back on it.

"I thought you loved me!" Rosalie cries and I look over to see hurt on her beautiful, ice cold face. Her eyes are filled with tears and my head swims with confusion? Why is she so upset by it? She hasn't done anything before that could put her in prison, if that's what she's worrying about.

"I do love you," Emmett says as a tear slides down his cheek. My heart clenches. I caused them both pain and they are both showing it right now. I can see that Emmett wants to hold Rosalie and comfort her as she begins to cry, her tears taking her mascara down her flawless face.

"Then why would you do this to me?" she hisses and lets go of his shirt before shoving him back by his chest. The anger coming from her is scary and I can't help but think back to when I was on the receiving end of it. "You are such a fuck-up, Emmett! Why would you do this? Why would you tell anyone I roughed up your fat sister a bit? You don't even talk to her! Do you know what your problem is? You can't handle me, and that frightens you," she hisses, her words like knives. Glancing at Emmett, I can see the anger slowly building up in him.

"If you really loved me, you would tell the chief of police that I wasn't responsible for what happened to _that_." She points in my direction and I feel Edward squeeze my hand again. Looking up at his face, I can see he is tensed, as if he would lash out if I wasn't with him. "You are a coward, Emmett and you can't handle a real woman." She shoves his chest again and I can't help but think how teachers don't see things like this. I mean, nearly all of Forks High is crowded around us and they haven't come out to see what is going on.

"I do love you, Rosalie, and before you say anything, I do know how to handle a real woman. What you have been doing to my sister is disgusting and I don't know why I still love you. You broke her fucking ribs, Rosalie. Who does that?" Emmett starts and Rosalie folds her hands over her chest. "You mean everything to me and you know that."

"Do I? Do I really, Emmett? Since..." She pauses, looking at the ground and takes a deep breath. "Since that happened, you have been distant and I hate it." Her eyes look up at him again, silently telling him something. He ignores her and carries on.

"Of course I've been distant from you, Rosalie. You killed my fucking baby!" he screams at her as her hand makes impact with his face. I freeze, the blood pounding in my ears. What? Rosalie was pregnant? Did she have an abortion? Why didn't Emmett tell us, or at least Mom and Dad, that he was going to be a dad? Did he know before the baby died that she was pregnant? When did this even happen? I was going to be an aunty? Tears fill my eyes and spill over.

"That was not my fault and you know it!" Both of them are red faced and screaming now, absolutely seething at each other. Although they are angry, they are both hurting. The pain, so raw on their faces, makes everything I have been through seem like a walk in the park.

"How was it not your fault? Did someone else force the drugs into your system? Hmm? Did they pin you down and make you watch as they injected the heroin into your body?" Rosalie lets out a sob and I can see that Emmett knows he went too far by the look on his face.

"I didn't think it would hurt it," she whispers, her hands going to her stomach as if she would feel the baby still in there. My heart goes out to her. She seems so lost and scared right now. Mascara is running down her face and her hair is going flat and frizzy from the rain. Everything about her right now is _broken. _She has never seemed so much like _me_ before. "My poor baby." Her hands caress her flat stomach as everyone around slowly leaves. They have obviously had enough and the bell should be ringing soon anyway.

"I know, Rosie," Emmett whispers and takes her into his arms. She lets him and they cry together for a minute before Emmett picks her up and takes her back to his Jeep. They get in and drive off, leaving us four all gob smacked.

Nobody says anything for a while, just silently standing in the rain. How is it that nobody knew she was pregnant? How did she allow herself to get pregnant? When did she find out she was pregnant anyway? When did she even lose the baby? She hasn't missed any school and hasn't been any more careful about herself. She has still been smoking and partying as far as I know, and Alice would have told me if she was skipping parties and things.

"Did you know about this, Bella?" Edward asks and I shake my head, slowly turning to look at them.

"No, none of it," I mutter, still in shock. I could have been an aunty. They all nod in acceptance and we make our way into the school, hearing the warning bell as we enter the halls. My morning goes by quickly, my mind still wrapped around what happened earlier. I don't even know where they went and if they are okay. I'm sure they are, Rosalie and Emmett have always seemed to have a great relationship. Well, I suppose something like this could damage that.

At lunch time, I am still quiet; shaken by it all as I sit with Edward and Jasper. Alice has some drama club rehearsal, so she won't be spending lunch with us today. They let me be and talk between themselves and I am grateful for it. I know that what has happened to Rosalie is no reason for her to be that horrible to me, but I can understand why she is so cold if she has had a miscarriage.

People everywhere know how good with kids Rosalie is. Even I know. They seem to warm her frozen heart and she turns into a different person. I saw her with a small child at the park once. I think it was her niece, and she was smiling and running after the small girl. She even smiled slightly at me as I passed with Alice. And from what I have heard from Alice, Edward, and Jasper, being a parent has always been her dream. To have her dream and then have it ripped away from her can't be easy for her to handle. I never thought I would, but I pity her.

"Has anyone bothered you today?" Edward asks me, taking my hand in his. I look down at our interlocked fingers and shake my head, offering a small smile. Nobody has said anything to me - no whispers, no looks, nothing. Today, I have felt like a normal teenager and I have loved it. Well, I would have if I hadn't been so caught up in my thoughts about Rosalie and what could have been my niece or nephew. I would have spoiled them. Well, if Rosalie and Emmett would have let me near the baby, that is. They could be worried about them catching my fat.

The rest of the day passes just as fast as the first half and I soon find myself outside my house, sitting in Edward's car. He has both of my hands in his and he is rubbing circles on my wrists. He has already said goodbye and I have said it back, but I haven't made a move to get out of the car and he hasn't let go of my hands for me to even be able to. I like sitting here with Edward. It's relaxing.

"Can I pick you up for school tomorrow?" he asks and I giggle slightly. "What?" I blush and smile at his cute confused face.

"Tomorrow is Saturday." He smiles back at me and rolls his eyes at himself.

"I knew that. I was just testing you," he teases and I laugh, which makes him join in. When he sobers up, he starts rubbing his circles again. "Then, can I see you tomorrow?" His voice is serious again as he asks. I bite my bottom lip and look down at our hands before looking back at him from under my lashes.

"I think I'd like that," I admit, feeling my cheeks tint pink. He sucks in a breath and then smiles widely.

"Thank you." His voice is just a breath as he leans over, his face really close to mine. I freeze, unsure of what he is going to do. As he sees the hesitation in my eyes, his lips go to my cheek and he leaves a lingering kiss there before letting go of my hands.

"Bye, Bella." He smirks and I just sit there, stunned at what just happened. I blindly reach for the door and open it.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow," I say as I shut the door behind me.

**Anyone expect that? Rosalie was pregnant? That wasn't going to be in the story originally, but what I was writing this chapter, it just kind of happened. Please don't hate me too much, but there had to be a reason for Rosalie to be such a bitch. **

**Thanks you RuthPerk for being awesome and BETA'ing this for me. You star :D **

**Leave me some love in a review? Or a nasty comment maybe? I don't mind either way. **

**Thank you all for reading. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	30. Chapter 28

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**Last time:**

The rest of the day passes just as fast as the first half and I soon find myself outside my house, sitting in Edward's car. He has both of my hands in his and he is rubbing circles on my wrists. He has already said goodbye and I have said it back, but I haven't made a move to get out of the car and he hasn't let go of my hands for me to even be able to. I like sitting here with Edward. It's relaxing.

"Can I pick you up for school tomorrow?" he asks and I giggle slightly. "What?" I blush and smile at his cute confused face.

"Tomorrow is Saturday." He smiles back at me and rolls his eyes at himself.

"I knew that. I was just testing you," he teases and I laugh, which makes him join in. When he sobers up, he starts rubbing his circles again. "Then, can I see you tomorrow?" His voice is serious again as he asks. I bite my bottom lip and look down at our hands before looking back at him from under my lashes.

"I think I'd like that," I admit, feeling my cheeks tint pink. He sucks in a breath and then smiles widely.

"Thank you." His voice is just a breath as he leans over, his face really close to mine. I freeze, unsure of what he is going to do. As he sees the hesitation in my eyes, his lips go to my cheek and he leaves a lingering kiss there before letting go of my hands.

"Bye, Bella." He smirks and I just sit there, stunned at what just happened. I blindly reach for the door and open it.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow," I say as I shut the door behind me.

**Chapter twenty-eight.**

**Now: **

"Any plans for today?" Charlie asks me from across the table as Renee hums softly to herself, making some sort of breakfast food.

"Nope," I tell him, biting into an apple. He nods and I smile softly at him. The one great thing about Charlie is that he doesn't hover. Unlike my mother, who is currently watching me; a spatula in her hand.

"Good. Alice will be here in ten minutes to pick you up." Renee smiles at me and then faces the stove again, turning what I think is bacon over in the pan. I feel my face fall and my heartbeat pick up. I don't want to go out. I haven't gone out since I got back from the hospital just over a week ago, other than for check-ups and school yesterday, and I don't plan on going out today.

"I'm not going," I simply state in reply, not wanting to argue with her.

"Yes, you are. Your ribs are better now and Carlisle said you should walk around some more, get active again." She leaves no room for discussion and I can't help but notice how Charlie doesn't say a word. He set me up. Thanks, Dad.

"Please don't make me," I whine and Charlie smirks behind his newspaper.

"Rosalie isn't even in Forks, so I don't know why you are so worried." Renee sighs, quickly glancing at her watch. After what happened in front of most of the school yesterday, Rosalie has gone to stay with her grandparents in Port Angeles for a while. Her court case is coming up and if she has to go to jail, which I very much doubt, or do community service of something, she will be doing it over in Port A. Emmett hasn't taken her leaving well. When he came home last night, he stormed around the place before he went and sulked in his room. He hasn't come out of his room since.

People have been texting each other since yesterday about Rosalie's drug addiction. I rolled my eyes when Alice called me to tell me. I know Rosalie is many things, but a drug addict isn't one of them. Alice agreed with me, but I can tell that she still thinks she could be. I don't really know Rosalie and Alice knows her better than I do.

"Yeah, but everyone else is," I groan and she shakes her head at me.

"You're going."

All too soon, I find myself sitting in the back of Alice's car as she speeds along the roads, trying to get to Seattle as quickly as possible. What Renee failed to tell me is that it wasn't just the two of us going shopping. I never knew that he would willing go shopping with Alice; but sure enough, Edward sits in the front seat, wincing when Alice makes a sharp turn or tries to pass someone.

We arrive at the mall and climb out the car. Alice drags us both towards the stores she wants to go in and we follow her silently, letting her do what she likes. We finally go in a store that I wanted to have a look into, and she goes straight to the jeans while I go to the back wall, towards the sweat pants and track suits. I quickly look through the racks then remember that Edward is with us. If I get something, he is bound to see what size I am and he will be disgusted. Even Alice doesn't know what size I am.

With a sigh, I put back a pair of sweat pants and go to find Edward and Alice again. As soon as I reach them, she has my hand in hers and practically skips over to the where I was just looking. She looks through the racks, claiming that she needs new sweat pants for gym. When she finds what she wants, we head to the registers when she stops dead in her tracks and looks at my empty hands.

"Isabella, aren't you getting anything?" Alice asks, her voice hinting that I need to get something before we leave. I shrug and slowly finger through the racks of sweat pants and hoodies. I find the black ones I was looking at before and pull out a pair in my size.

"You got the wrong size, Bella," Edward whispers as he comes up behind me and looks over my shoulder at what I am holding. I blush. I didn't want him to know what size I am, but I guess it's too late.

"Nope. This is right." I try to sound cheery, but it falls flat.

"Bella, you don't really think you are a sixteen do you?" His voice is strained and I gasp at the sorrow in it. I shrug and he shakes his head once before turning back to Alice, talking about a pair of jeans he saw in another shop. She says we will pay for our things here, and go with him while he picks them up. He glances at me once then tells us he will meet us over there.

Edward gets his jeans and I tell them that my ribs are beginning to ache. Since the incident with the sweat pants, Edward hasn't really spoken much. I feel so guilty, like it has something to do with me. He always seems to want to know how I see myself and I plan on telling him tonight.

On the drive back, Edward insists on driving, so Alice joins me in the back and talks about what she saw today and what she bought. Edward and I stay silent, letting her talk while we pretend to listen. They drop me off at my house and I whisper to Edward to come by later at nine. He says he will and I wish them both good night before going into the house.

No-one is home, so I go up to my room and drop off my bag, and then sit on my bed and take a deep breath. I feel hot from sitting in the car and shopping all day, so I decide to take a shower. I slowly stand up and make my way to the bathroom; a fresh towel draped over the crook of my arm. I lock the door as I wait for the water to heat up. As soon as it is at the right temperature, I climb in and lather my hair and body with soap before washing it all off again. I stay in longer than needed, basking in the feel of the hot water pelting against my skin.

When I get out, I wrap the towel around me and head to my bedroom. Pulling out my hair dryer, I dry my hair first. It falls in curls down my back and I smile. I really do love my hair. Next, I pull out a black bra and matching boy shorts. The silk robe Renee brought me for Christmas goes on over top and I sit on my bed, my eyes on my hands in my lap.

"Bella, are you okay?" I look over at Edward as he climbs in through the window and I nod, offering him a shy smile. I stand and turn back towards the full length mirror I brought in from Renee's room. I look down at the floor in front of it, taking several deep breaths. When I look back up, I see Edward through it. He's watching me with a curious smile.

"I'm fine, Edward." He nods and sits on my bed, eyeing me curiously.

"Why are you wearing that?" he asks, gesturing towards my robe. I close my eyes and slowly undo my robe, dropping it to the floor.

"Do you want to know what I see in the mirror now, Edward?" I ask. I open my eyes and look into his through the mirror. He swallows hard and nods, his eyes moving down my body. I want to pick my robe back up and cover myself, but I stop myself by clenching my fists and taking a scan of my body.

"When I look at myself in the mirror, I see what everyone else sees - a fat, ugly girl with no friends and no life. When I look in the mirror, I want to be sick. I see boring brown hair and dead brown eyes. I see years of hurt and fear written all over my face and I can see that I will never be good enough for anyone, especially the one guy I like." I pause and blush slightly, hoping he doesn't catch on that it's him. "I see the pain in my eyes and it scares me. All over my body, I see the scars of what has happened to me. I see the bruises still littering my skin, showing me of how weak I really am." I take a deep breath. "I see that my legs are nearly four times as big as they should be and I see the stretch marks on my hips and legs. I see big boobs that I don't like, and I can't see my feet, because of said boobs. My hips are too big and I don't really have a waist. I see a massive stomach that I just want to cut off." I swallow and blink back tears. "I'm huge, Edward." I sigh, looking into his eyes through the mirror.

"Do you wanna know what I see?" he asks, standing up from the bed stepping closer to me. I can feel the heat coming off of his body against my back and I shiver slightly.

"What do you see, Edward?" My voice is quiet and breathy, but I know he has heard it.

"I see an incredibly beautiful, sexy woman." I roll my eyes and let out a short laugh. "Please, let me finish." I nod hesitantly and he smiles slightly in thanks. "I see a brave woman that has had to go through far too much in her short life. I see amazing mahogany hair that I want to run my fingers through. I see beautiful chocolate brown eyes that I could get lost in; in fact I do almost on a daily basis." He smiles and I blush a light pink color. "I see an amazing blush that I know most of the guys at school love, even if they won't admit it to anyone, other than themselves." I look at him in shock and he nods his head at me in the mirror.

His hands are suddenly on my shoulders and the warmth of his hands makes me shiver again. He smirks but his eyes are on his hands. "I see smooth creamy skin that does things to me that I don't want to admit right now." The blush on my face turns bright red and my body freezes when his hands move from my shoulder, down my back to my waist. "I see womanly curves that also do things to me. I see perfect hips that lead to amazing legs." His hands follow his words and I can feel my body get hot and my heart start to race.

"I see a few stretch marks, yeah, but it just tells me that you're real. I see a tummy, but to be honest, I really like it." His fingers dance over the flabby skin at my stomach, almost as if he was playing the piano. "I see an amazing pair of breasts." My breathing stops when his hands graze the underside of my breasts, but he doesn't go farther than that. "You can't even begin to understand how hard it is for me not to…" he pauses and groans slightly before clearing his throat. "Anyway." He lets out a deep breath.

"You are so beautiful, Bella. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. You're kind and caring, and you are such a _good_ person. You are everything I could ever want in a woman and I want you so badly," he finishes and his hands fall back to my waist, his fingers massaging the skin there. I turn around slowly so that I am facing him. He doesn't move his hands away and I don't want him to.

"Do you really mean that?" I ask, tears building in my eyes. Everything he said was so beautiful and it made me _feel _beautiful. He said everything the opposite of how I really feel and I want him to say it again. The way his hands moved over my body, it was like he was worshipping me.

"I mean every word," he whispers, his promise surrounding us. My tears spill over and down my cheeks. "Please don't cry. I'm sorry if I upset you." I shake my head, a smile on my face.

"These are happy tears," I admit with a shrug. He smiles with me and I want him to kiss me. "Kiss me." The words leave my lips before I can stop them. He looks shocked that I asked and he looks my straight in the eyes.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to do something you don't want to."

"I want you to kiss me, Edward." I keep eye contact with him, trying to put across that I really do want him to kiss me. He nods slightly to himself, and then his eyes go to my lips. His head slowly leans towards me and his eyes flick between my eyes and my lips. I just want his lips on mine and I don't feel the fear that I thought I would.

A million questions run through my head, but I can't seem to stop them. What if I suck at kissing? What if I taste funny? What if he doesn't like it? What if this is a game to him and I get my heart broken? What if he tells everyone at school how much of a bad kisser I am and everyone makes fun of me?

"Don't over think it," he whispers and as he speaks, his lips graze mine. All questions leave my head and I gasp at the tingly feeling his lips give me, my eyes fluttering closed. He lips brush mine again and it's like my body takes over, telling me what to do and when to do it. Our kiss is simple, just slight brushes of lips, and I can feel him smile against me.

I gasp again when his tongue licks across my bottom lip almost shyly. My hands go up his arms slowly and find his neck, tangling into the hair at the nape of his neck. His hands on my waist pull me closer to him and his arms go around to my waist, pressing into the skin at the small of my back.

His lips slow against mine. Eventually, he pulls away and rests his forehead against mine, brushing his nose against my nose playfully. I smile and open my eyes, looking into his amazing emerald orbs.

"Wow," I breathe, still trying to get my breath back from that kiss.

"Yeah, wow." he pants along with me.

"That was some first kiss," I admit, my face heating up.

"It was better than the last time I tried to kiss you," he admits with a laugh and I raise my hand from his neck to his bottom lip, tracing the small scar there. I drop my hand and his eyes leave mine, tracing down my body. "Maybe you should get dressed." He swallows and I nod, moving away from him. I should have known that was what he wanted. All of those nice words just for that. I should have known that he was disgusted with me.

"Okay," I whisper and go over to my robe, picking it up and quickly put it on. I fall into the chair just to my right and grab a hair band, pulling my hair up into a ponytail. I can feel that my face has fallen; rejection creeps up on me, going around my heart and making the shattered feeling come back.

"Bella, I didn't mean it like that." He groans and comes over, sitting on his knees just in front of me. "I mean that if I have to see you in your underwear any longer, I might not be able to control myself." He wiggles his eye brows at me and I can't help the smile that breaks out on my face.

"Really?" I ask.

"Really." He stands and takes my hand, making me stand and pulling me to the bed. He lies down and pulls me with him, making me lay next to him.

He holds me in his arms for a while, kissing my forehead and lips gently and looking into my eyes. Everything is so intimate and I can't help but wish we could stay like this forever. I want to stay wrapped up in him with no drama from school or from the bullies, or even from Emmett and my parents.

"I wish we could stay like this forever," I admit, looking up at him from my place on his chest.

"Me, too." He pauses and I can see that he is thinking about something. I ask him to tell me what is bothering him and he looks up at the ceiling, contemplating, before looking back into my eyes. "Bella, I feel very strongly for you. I don't know what it is, but I know that it's powerful." I want to laugh, but I hold myself back. Where did he get that from? A book? Alice? "I'm not joking," he groans and I giggle.

"Sorry, it just sounded really cheesy." I admit, hoping he won't hate me.

"I know. I guess what I'm trying to say is, will you be my girlfriend?" I bite the inside of my cheek before kissing his lips once softly.

"Yeah, I will." His smile is radiant and his eyes are bright as he catches my lips with his.

**N'aww. I actually loved writing this chapter. I feel that Bella is finally moving on from her horrible past and she has Edward as an added bonus ;) **

**What did you guys think?**

**Please review this and tell me what you thought. **

**I want to thank my awesome BETA, RuthPerk, for making this story better. **

**Thanks for reading. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	31. Chapter 29

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a **_**Fanfiction **_**and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy! **

**This chapter will have the story of what happened to Bella when she was younger, so if it may offend you, skip this chapter and wait until the next. Thank you. **

**Last time:**

"_Really?" I ask. _

"_Really." He stands and takes my hand, making me stand and pulling me to the bed. He lies down and pulls me with him, making me lay next to him. _

_He holds me in his arms for a while, kissing my forehead and lips gently and looking into my eyes. Everything is so intimate and I can't help but wish we could stay like this forever. I want to stay wrapped up in him with no drama from school or from the bullies, or even from Emmett and my parents. _

"_I wish we could stay like this forever," I admit, looking up at him from my place on his chest. _

"_Me, too." He pauses and I can see that he is thinking about something. I ask him to tell me what is bothering him and he looks up at the ceiling, contemplating, before looking back into my eyes. "Bella, I feel very strongly for you. I don't know what it is, but I know that it's powerful." I want to laugh, but I hold myself back. Where did he get that from? A book? Alice? "I'm not joking," he groans and I giggle. _

"_Sorry, it just sounded really cheesy,." I admit, hoping he won't hate me. _

"_I know. I guess what I'm trying to say is, will you be my girlfriend?" I bite the inside of my cheek before kissing his lips once softly. _

"_Yeah, I will." His smile is radiant and his eyes are bright as he catches my lips with his. _

**Chapter twenty-nine.**

**Now: **

Opening my eyes, I can't help the smile that spreads across my face when I see Edward still lying on the bed next to me. His eyes are closed and his breathing is deep and even, telling me that he is still sleeping. His hair is a complete mess where I ran my fingers through it last night. I can see his eyes moving beneath his closed lids; he's dreaming.

His red lips are pouted and slightly open; his breath fans across my face. Even though he has been sleeping, his breath is still sweet, making me want to kiss him some more. I wonder if he would mind me kissing him some more today. I know I agreed to be his girlfriend, but I have never been anyone's girlfriend before.

Reaching up slightly, I lightly brush my lips against his. I don't want to wake him but as soon as our lips touch, his eyes open and he kisses me back. Our eyes and lips are locked and it's almost like I can see deep into his soul. I break the kiss and lay my head on his chest. His hand runs up and down my back and I can feel goose flesh erupt on my skin. I smile and kiss just above his heart before looking up at him, my chin resting on my hands on his chest.

"Good morning." I smile. "Sorry I woke you," I add, slightly sheepish.

"It is and I don't mind. You can wake me like that every morning if you like." I grin and peck his lips with mine slightly. We lay in a comfortable silence for a while, not having to worry about getting up for school. Every time I glance at him, I see a content smile on his lips. It makes me smile seeing how happy he seems to be.

"Baby?" I look up him, my eye brow raised. What was that? Baby? I think I like it. "What? Don't you like the new name?" I shake my head, a smile on my face.

"No, I think I like it. I'll have to get used to it." He grins lazily and I giggle. "What did you want anyway?" I ask. The smile leaves Edward's face and I begin to panic. Please, no. Not yet. Just give me a few more days before he begins to regret all this. If he doesn't want us to be together, he shouldn't have asked me to be his girl last night. Maybe he was hoping I would say no.

"I'm not breaking up with you," he quickly tells me, seeing my panic. I breathe out in relief and apologize to him. He just shrugs me off, telling me that it's okay.

"Do you trust me?" I look at him like he has two heads and nod.

"Of course I do, you know that," I scold and he shrugs sheepishly and smiles slightly at me.

"Then can I ask a question?" I nod and he takes in a deep breath. "What happened to you? I mean, when you were little," he asks and I freeze. I know what he wants to know but I haven't ever told anyone other than my parents, Emmett, and the police. I never thought I would have to tell someone what happened to me.

"You don't have to tell me, I'm just curious," he soothes, rubbing my hair and back softly when he hear my breathing increase. I take in a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. He's my boyfriend and I already know I feel more for him than friendship. I don't know if I love him, but I know I like him more than I should. He should hear my story if he really wants us to be together.

"I went with Emmett and some of his friends to the park. Renee and Charlie were at work, but Mom said it would be okay to go. We had been there for a few hours when they thought it would be funny to run away and leave me all alone in the park. It was dark and I can remember feeling so scared. I was only ten," I pause and look up at him. His face is full of concern and I offer a small smile. After a deep breath, I continue.

"Anyway, I ran out the park and tried to follow them, hoping to catch up. I was just wandering around on my own, crying out for Emmett to come back and save me. I can remember thinking 'this isn't my brother; he would never do something like this to me'. I was his most favorite person in the whole world." I shake my head - how times change.

"I went down this alleyway, thinking they could be hiding in there. I soon realized it was a dead end and I turned to leave again, but there was a man blocking the entrance. I asked him if he had seen three boys run past and he said he had. He looked scary and I didn't want to talk to him, but he said he knew where Emmett and his friends were and I just wanted to find them and go home.

"I asked him which way they went and he got really close to me." I stop, taking a deep breath.

"You don't have to tell me. I'm sorry for asking." He kisses my forehead and I shake my head.

"If you really want to be my boyfriend, you should know," I whisper and he nods for me to continue. "I, um, I just thought he was going to tell me where they were. I can remember feeling so scared. He started to touch me and tell me that I was beautiful. I asked him to just tell me when they went and he promised he would. I begged for him to tell me. When his hands grabbed at my chest and behind, I panicked and screamed. The sound startled him and he let go of me. I was so scared, I just ran away." I breathe out deeply and feel tears starting to run slowly down my cheeks.

"I wasn't paying attention to anything on the way to the park, so I was completely lost. I didn't know the way home and I didn't know anyone that was around. We were still in Forks, I knew that, but it was nearly half an hour walk from home. I was confused and it was dark. I hated Emmett so much then for just leaving me all alone when he knew I was scared of the dark.

"I just started running in one direction and, finally, I recognized where I was and I ran home from there. Emmett was already home and Renee and Charlie were yelling at him franticly, asking where I was. They didn't even realize I had come in, they were shouting that loud. Eventually, Renee spotted me and she cried, running over to me and begging me to tell her where I was and why I ran off. I was so confused and I told her I didn't run off and that Emmett did." I think back on the way Emmett looked when I told on him. Thinking back, his hatred for me must have started there.

"Charlie was so upset with Emmett; I thought he was going to hit him. Charlie came over to me and I flinched away from him. The hurt on his face still haunts me. I felt so bad. Renee asked me why I was being silly and I told her what happened in that alley. Charlie really exploded then. He got on the phone and told the police to search for the guy. I told them what I could remember him looking like and they searched for weeks. They never found him." Edward sucks in a breath and his eyes widen when I say that.

"When I went to bed, I had a nightmare and Emmett came in with tears in his eyes. He told me he was sorry and held me all night long. I couldn't sleep again. I was so scared that the man would come through my window and hurt me. Emmett didn't sleep either; he rubbed my hair and told me he was sorry over and over.

"The next day, Emmett and I weren't allowed to go to school. He thought it was cool and played ball in the yard. I, however, had the windows shut and locked, the curtains closed. The door was shut and I had put a chair up against it, hoping no-one would get in. I hid under my bed for nearly two days, not sleeping or eating. When Charlie and Renee came home from work, they wouldn't leave me alone again. Renee made cakes and cookies and brought plates of nice treats to me every day.

"I was already slightly bigger than normal. I thought that if I wasn't beautiful, the man wouldn't come back for me. I knew that fat wasn't beautiful. I ate and ate, and didn't get out of bed for days - I gained more and more weight. When Renee stopped feeding me fatty foods and said I needed to cut down, I would go down at night and just eat chunks of butter. Emmett got the blame for it, so Renee and Charlie didn't think anything of it. I wanted to be fat, I wanted to be ugly." I shake my head and look away from Edward, not wanting to see his face.

"Emmett caught me one night. I was just sitting on the kitchen floor with a stick of butter and a bag of sugar. He asked what I was doing and I told him I wanted to be ugly. He rolled his eyes and told me I was too beautiful to get ugly. I can remember crying that I couldn't be beautiful, that I didn't want to be. After I calmed down, he shrugged and joined me on the floor with a big spoon, digging into my snack." I chuckle slightly at the memory. Emmett was so sick the next day and I was fine. I think my body was used to my new diet.

"I'm so sorry, baby," Edward whispers and I look up to see tears in his eyes. I shrug.

"Don't cry. Everything is my own fault. If I hadn't gone with Emmett and his friends, I would have been fine. They didn't even want me to go, but both Emmett and Renee insisted. I wanted to stay home and play with my dolls. I should have." Edward tightens his grip on me, pulling me closer and holding me to his body.

After a while, the tears stop falling and I just lay there, tracing patterns onto Edward chest through his black shirt. His body is completely relaxed and I find myself relaxing more and more as I lay against him. This is nice, this is peaceful. I wish that we could stay like this forever, curled up in bed next to each other, wrapped in each other. As if he can read my mind, his arms tighten around me, pulling me in closer to him.

I chance a glance up at him and his eyes lock with mine. My cheeks heat up and his crooked smile graces his face, his hand coming up to rub his finger against my cheek bone.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers, his finger still caressing my cheek bone. I smile and reach up slightly to cup his face between my hands. Understanding what I want, he leans down and his lips meet mine softly. His silky lips brush over mine for a few seconds before the tip of his tongue glides over my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I part my lips slightly and his tongue begins to explore my mouth.

Both of my hands move from his face up into his hair, clutching it between my fingers and pulling him closer to me. He responds eagerly, putting one hand on my hip and the other in my hair, pulling me closer until there isn't any space between the two of us.

All too soon, he pulls away, leaving us both gasping for air. His lips never leave my skin, though, and travel down my cheek to my neck. I lay still and pant for a few moments as he lays his head on my chest, his cheek above my heart. I know he can feel it hammering far too quickly in my chest, but I can't find it in me to care. My hand on his back tells me that his heart is beating the same way as mine.

"We should get up sometime soon," Edward sighs and I nod in agreement, my hands finding their way to his silky hair.

"Is it selfish to want to keep you here with me all day?" I ask rather pathetically.

"If it is, we're both selfish," he admits, smiling crookedly at me again. He leans up and captures my lips again, making my heart speed up.

Maybe, just maybe, this could work out between us.

**I am so sorry it took me so long to get this out to you. I am now home and I have been for nearly a week now, but with unpacking and seeing all my friends and family, things have just been catching up with me. Plus, I had my prom a few nights ago, so I have been getting my dress and nails and hair and everything else ready for that. **

**My Nan is doing really well now, to those who was asking after her. She is still in a lot of pain because of the op, but she is on a high dose of morphine and is healing perfectly. Better than expected to be honest. **

**Anyway, enough about me. I am sorry I haven't updated in a while. I promise to try and get the next chapter to you quicker. I have the next three months off school and I hope to have this story finished before I go back so there won't be any long waits. Hopefully. **

**I would love if we got to 500 reviews by the next chapter and if we do, I might post another EPOV as well as a normal chapter. So, please can we try? **

**Thank you all for reading. **

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	32. Chapter 30

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a ****Fanfiction****and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy!**

**Last time:**

_I chance a glance up at him and his eyes lock with mine. My cheeks heat up and his crooked smile graces his face, his hand coming up to rub his finger against my cheek bone._

_"You're so beautiful," he whispers, his finger still caressing my cheek bone. I smile and reach up slightly to cup his face between my hands. Understanding what I want, he leans down and his lips meet mine softly. His silky lips brush over mine for a few seconds before the tip of his tongue glides over my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I part my lips slightly and his tongue begins to explore my mouth._

_Both of my hands move from his face up into his hair, clutching it between my fingers and pulling him closer to me. He responds eagerly, putting one hand on my hip and the other in my hair, pulling me closer until there isn't any space between the two of us._

_All too soon, he pulls away, leaving us both gasping for air. His lips never leave my skin, though, and travel down my cheek to my neck. I lay still and pant for a few moments as he lays his head on my chest, his cheek above my heart. I know he can feel it hammering far too quickly in my chest, but I can't find it in me to care. My hand on his back tells me that his heart is beating the same way as mine._

_"We should get up sometime soon," Edward sighs and I nod in agreement, my hands finding their way to his silky hair._

_"Is it selfish to want to keep you here with me all day?" I ask rather pathetically._

_"If it is, we're both selfish," he admits, smiling crookedly at me again. He leans up and captures my lips again, making my heart __speed up._

_Maybe, just maybe, this could work out between us._

**Chapter thirty. **

**Now:**

To say Edward is a great boyfriend, would be an understatement. He truly is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know that makes me sound incredibly dull and boring, but it's the truth. Without Edward, I think I would still be the scared, quiet girl that gets pushed around and bullied on a daily basis.

He left shortly after we woke yesterday morning, but promised he would be back. And he was - around dinner time, he came in through my window while I was doing my homework. Let's just say I didn't get to finish it. He insisted that we spend the rest of the day curled up on my bed, talking about what we both want from our new relationship. I admitted that I wanted to feel loved and wanted, and he told me he would try every to make me feel just that. I blushed and smiled pathetically at him after that.

Today is going to be the first day at school with us both being in our new relationship, with each other. When Edward brought that up yesterday, I panicked. Edward is known at school for being the hotshot guy that the girls fall over themselves for. People, especially the girls, aren't going to like the fact that Edward is now dating the fattest girl in our school. I know that people are going to say stuff to me; that i I can handle. But the thought of people being nasty and disowning Edward because of me, I can't bear.

When he brought it up, I told him that we don't have to tell anyone at school. He can still date others and pretend to be single, and I can watch him from afar until we are locked away in my room, just the two of us. Telling him that was not a good idea; he got angry, saying he wasn't going to hide me away like some mistress. He wants people to know that I am his, and he is mine, and that that fact isn't going to be changing for a long time.

The other thing we talked about was telling our families about our new relationship. Although we are in the very early stages, we both admitted to feeling something more than just simple attraction to each other. I couldn't believe it when he told me he was attracted to me. I mean, look at me. I'm not someone anyone could be attracted to; him I am someone people look at in disgust. We both said we would tell our parents as soon as we can get them all together. I know that both Renee and Esme would will be delighted with the news, but Carlisle and Charlie I'm not so sure about. When Edward realised he would have to tell the chief of police he was dating his little girl, his face was a picture. He then went on to say that we didn't actually need to tell our parents and we could run away together. I laughed and told him to stop being stupid.

"Bella, Edward's here," Renee calls from down the stairs and I tell her him that I'm coming before grabbing my bag and leaving my room, closing the door behind me. I kiss Renee goodbye and make my way to the door before she can ask me any questions about Edward.

Walking out the front door, I see my boyfriend sitting in his car, a huge smile on his lips and sunglasses sitting perfectly on his face. I swoon and walk over to the car, seeing him get out of the car and meet me half way. He takes my hand in his and kisses my knuckles. My face heats up as I look around nervously. If one of my neighbours sees us and tells someone we are in a relationship, before my dad knows, I'm sure Charlie won't be very happy.

"Good morning," he breathes, leaning in to place a chaste kiss on my lips. I freeze and he pulls back, smirking at me.

"H-h-hey," I stutter, utterly shocked at what he just did. "What if someone saw that, Edward? Our parents don't even know yet," I sigh and he laughs, shaking his head slightly.

"Relax, baby. So what if someone sees's? I'm not ashamed to be seen with you. Are you ashamed of me?" I shake my head, telling him not to be so stupid. "Well, then." He goes over to the car and opens the passenger side door for me. "Shall we?" I get in and thank him before he shuts the door and runs around to the driver's side.

He takes my hand in his and holds it the whole entire driveway to the school. We don't speak the whole way, but it isn't awkward. I love how comfortable Edward and I are together. There isn't a need to talk, but when we do, we know exactly what to say and when to say it.

Arriving at the school, I can feel the panic rising in me. People aren't looking over at us yet, but it feels like they are. It feels like people know what happened between Edward and I over the weekend. There is no way possible they do, but I can feel people watching us, waiting for confirmation.

"Relax." He leans over and kisses me softly before getting out the car and coming around to my side. Opening the door for me and taking my hand, he helps me out of the car. My feet feel shaky, as we both walk over to Alice and Jasper, out our hands and fingers still interlocked.

Alice and Jasper both look over at us in shock and surprise.

"What the hell? Are you guys dating?" Alice asks, looking at our hands. I blush and bite on my bottom lip.

"Yeah, we are. Is that okay with you?" Edward smirks and I look up to see him looking at me.

"Yeah, I guess." She sighs and Jasper comes over, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

"Congrats, you guys. I'm happy for you." He grins and high fives Edward.

"Yeah, me too." Alice smiles, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. Letting go of Edward's hand, I pull my best friends into a hug.

"What's up?" I whisper, not knowing why she isn't happy for me. Maybe she doesn't think him I'm right for her brother. Does she think he can do better? Hell, so do I! Everyone will when they find out about us being a couple. Maybe I should tell Edward I can't be his girl and let him go. Will that make Alice happy? Will it make Edward happy? Is this all a big joke to him?

"When you come over to my house now, it won't be to see me. It will be for Edward," she moans and I smile slightly.

"Don't be silly, Ali. You're my best friend and you always will be."

The bell for first period sounds and Alice and I walk turn and walk towards the school. Edward and Jasper trail behind us, talking quietly.

"This is so great. Now you, Edward, Jazz and I can double date!" Alice squeals, making a few people look over at us in shock. I grab her arm and hurry us along, trying to get to class without more people finding out.

Outside the class room, Edward and Jasper catch up to us.

"I'll see you next lesson." Edward smiles, leaning down and placing his lips against gasps sound around the hall and I pull away from him, going into the class room with my face red. Whispers followed me around the whole day. People would come up to me and ask what drug I gave Edward to make him think he's my boyfriend. I try to ignore them, I really do. But by lunch time, I have had enough.

I stalk into the lunch room and head straight to where Edward is sitting alone. When I slip into the seat next to him, he turns and his face drops when he sees my expression.

"What's up?" His voice is full of concern and I feel bad for making him worry, but if I have to have listen this for the rest of my school life, I don't think I could cope. Before, it would be about me, and only me, and that was okay. I could handle that. But when Edward is the one people are saying nasty things about, it's not okay.

"I don't think I can be your girlfriend, Edward," I sigh, looking down at the table. My eyes fill with tears and I blink them back. "The whole school knows and they are saying horrible things about you, and I can't listen to them talking about you like that. When it was just about me, that was fine. But it's not about me anymore, it's about you and you are so kind and caring and you don't deserve that." I look up at him, silently begging him to agree and to let us break up on good terms.

"Bella, I don't care what they think about us. I'm happy, you're happy, right?" I nod. "Then why should we listen to what other people think about us? We are both new to this relationship thing and it is going to take some getting used to. I'm willing to ride this out. Are you?"

"Of course. I'm sorry for being so silly."

"You're not being silly. You're being you and - caring about other people. That's one of the reasons I like you so much." I blush and he chuckles before leaning down and kissing me. I kiss him back for a few moments before we break apart and he takes me into his arms.

"So, it's true?" A dull voice asks from behind us and we both turn to see Tanya standing there, her face red and her hands balled into fists.

"Yep." Edward shrugs, not looking in the bit interested in her. I want to laugh but him I'm too worried about Tanya's reaction to do so.

"Well, I'm happy for you." She smiles and winks at Edward before walking off. I feel Edward tense up beside me.

"What's the matter?" I ask, feeling panicked. What if he realises he can have her and he's now stuck with me?

"Nothing." He shrugs and kisses my forehead before starting to eat his lunch. nothing else is said on the matter.

**I am ****sooooo**** sorry! ****I**** have wanted to write this for what feels like weeks, but my laptop is broken. ****I**** don't even know what is wrong with it, it just won't turn on. ****I'm****using**** my ****mother's**** crappy PC to write this. Again****,****I ****am sorry and ****I ****hope to update sooner next time. ****No**** promises though ****because****I ****don't know if ****I ****am able to get the laptop fixed. **

**Also, I am sorry this is so short and really bad. I have been so busy with majorette competitions. I came third and I have sprained my ankle in said competition. When I write the next chapter, I will try to make it better and longer. **

**A**** huge ****'****thank you****'**** to ****RuthPerk****, as she has had to do loads of work on this. No spell check on said crappy PC :)  
Thanks for reading and please leave a review. **

**Twi****-****girl09****  
x **


	33. Chapter 31

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a Fanfiction and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy!**

**Last time:**

_"Bella, I don't care what they think about us. I'm happy, you're happy, right?" I nod. "Then why should we listen to what other people think about us? We are both new to this relationship thing and it is going to take some getting used to. I'm willing to ride this out. Are you?"_

_"Of course. I'm sorry for being so silly."_

_"You're not being silly. You're being you and caring about other people. That's one of the reasons I like you so much." I blush and he chuckles before leaning down and kissing me. I kiss him back for a few moments before we break apart and he takes me into his arms._

_"So, it's true?" A dull voice asks from behind us and we both turn to see Tanya standing there, her face red and her hands balled into fists._

_"Yep." Edward shrugs, not looking in the bit interested in her. I want to laugh but him I'm too worried about Tanya's reaction to do so._

_"Well, I'm happy for you." She smiles and winks at Edward before walking off. I feel Edward tense up beside me._

_"What's the matter?" I ask, feeling panicked. What if he realizes he can have her and he's now stuck with me?_

_"Nothing." He shrugs and kisses my forehead before starting to eat his lunch. Nothing else is said on the matter._

**Chapter thirty-one.**

**Now:**

The second half of the school day passes in the same manner as the first. People stare and point, whispering to those around them. Luckily, I have Alice and Edward in my last few classes, so if anything too horrible was said, they would snap at the offender; therefore silencing them for the rest of the lesson. I wanted to laugh at one guy who started crying because Edward yelled at him.

Edward drives me home from school, holding my hand the whole way and singing along to the radio. I swoon when he looks over at me while singing a really cheesy love song. I can't believe how perfect Edward is, and I also can't believe he wants to be my boyfriend. When he looks at me, my heart speeds up and I get butterflies in my stomach. It's weird to have feelings like this because of another person, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

When we pull up at my house, I can see the curtain twitch in the living room - no doubt, my mother. I roll my eyes and Edward chuckles, obviously seeing it as well. He doesn't seem to mind as he leans over and kisses me sweetly before getting out the car and running around to open my door for me. I smile at him and say goodbye before walking up the house, waiting for my mother's comment.

I open the front door and I'm surprised to see Emmett sitting in the living room, flicking through the channels on the television. He glances up at me as I pass the open door, but doesn't say anything. I call out for Mom, but I don't get a reply. She must have gone upstairs. Shrugging, I grab a bottle of water and make my way to the living room, hoping Emmett will put something worth watching on for a change.

Since Emmett is sprawled across the couch, I fall into Charlie's recliner.

"So, it is true?" Emmett mutters and I look over to see him glaring at me.

"Is what true?" I sigh, seeing that Emmett isn't happy about something.

"That you have not only ruined my life, but now you have stolen my best friend," he hisses, sitting up straight on the couch and glaring at me. I can't help but feel hurt by this. How have I ruined his life? I have never done anything to Emmett to make him hate me. I love my brother.

"What?" I gasp out, tears building in my eyes.

"Edward. You've somehow managed to make him like you and now he doesn't anything to do with me." I choke back a sob, feeling anger slowly building in me.

"I didn't ask Edward to stop talking to you, if that's what you think!" I snap. How dare he think that about me? I would never tell Edward who he can and can't be friends with. I'm his girlfriend, not his mother.

"Of course you didn't." He laughs, but there isn't anything funny about this situation.

"What could I possible gain out of making Edward stop talking to you, Emmett? You two weren't talking before Edward and I got together. None of this is my fault."

"Yes, it is!" he roars and stands up. When he is right in front of me, he glares so fiercely that I expect lasers to shoot out of his eyes. "Everything is your fault. If you weren't here, Edward would still be my friend and I would have to worry about people at school hating me because I am related to you." I shakily stand up so that he isn't towering over me, but it isn't any use. Emmett is so tall that he towers over me even if I stand up.

"I'm sorry that you have such a horrible life, Emmett," I whimper, tears spilling over and rolling quickly down my cheeks. If only Emmett could live in my shoes for a day. He wouldn't complain about his life then. Emmett has everything he wants. He has the supermodel girlfriend, the friends, and the popularity. I have nothing compared to him. Three friends - that is all I have. I don't have the popularity; I don't have the choice of which party to go to on a Friday night. The one thing we do have in common is the supermodel partners.

"Yeah, you should be, Isabella. It's all your fault." A loud sob leaves my lips and my legs buckle from under me. Before I can hit the floor, Emmett grabs me and holds me to his chest. Fighting against him, I realize it isn't any use. He isn't going to let go of my anytime soon. He hates me, why is he hugging me?

"Why, Emmett? Why do you hate me so much?" I sob quietly, clutching the front of his shirt as he holds me to him. He doesn't say anything for what feels like forever. I feel like yelling and screaming at him. I want to know why he hates me, and I want to know now.

"I don't hate you," he cries, rubbing my back and hair softly. I whimper and bury my face more into his chest, searching for the comfort my brother used to give me when I was upset. I don't find it.

"Yes, you do!" I wail, trying to push away from him. He just holds onto me tighter.

"I am so sorry," he whispers and kisses the top of my head. I feel wetness fall onto my head and I know that Emmett is crying along with me.

"Why, Emmett? What happened to my Emmy-bear? I want him back, Emmett. I want him back," I admit loudly, my tears making my point even more real. He whispers soothing words to me and rocks us from side to side.

Eventually, I manage to calm down, but I don't let go of Emmett. For the first time in years, my brother is holding me in his arms and I don't want to lose it so soon. I breathe in Emmett's scent. When we were children, I used to sneak into Emmett's bedroom and take one of his pillows when he would stay at one of his friends' houses so that it felt like he was with me still. I can remember snuggling into bed with his pillow because he wasn't there to say goodnight to me. I hated when he went away for the night. He was my best friend.

"I don't hate you, Belly," he sighs into my hair. A new round of tears threatens to spill at the old nickname. "I loved it when you would hang out with me when we were growing up. I would beg Mom and Dad to let you come out with me, and I promised to always look after you. Then, my friends started acting weird with me when you would come out with us. They never told me why, but I guessed it had something to do with you." He pauses and I glance up to see him looking at the wall. His eyes aren't focused, it's like he's seeing something that isn't there.

"That night we went to the park, they thought it would be fun to leave you. I told them not to be so horrible, but they said I had to go with them or they wouldn't talk to me again. Growing up with just you as a friend was awesome, but they were cool guys and I wanted them to like me, so I went along with them. We watched you running around and crying from up a tree. After a while, we lost sight of you. They all said that you would have gone home and I ran away from them. I went home hoping to see you there.

"When I went in and saw you weren't there, I panicked. Mom and Dad asked where you were and I didn't know what to tell them. When you ran in, you looked so scared and you were crying and I just didn't know what to do. When you told them what happened, I wanted to go and rip my so called friends' heads off. If I hadn't gone off with them, that wouldn't have happened to you. I'm your big brother; I'm supposed to protect you." He sniffles and finally meets my eyes. Tears are slowly making their way down his cheeks and I want to comfort him, but I just don't know what to say.

"I thought that if I wasn't your friend any more, you wouldn't get hurt again. I had myself convinced that you would be better off without me. I withdrew myself from you, hoping I could save you. When I realized that that was stupid, I met Rosalie and the rest, as they say, is history." He smiles sadly and I reach up to wipe away his tears.

"That night wasn't your fault, Emmett. I ran down that alley-way. I should have just gone straight home or stayed where I was. Running away is always a stupid thing to do, and I know that now."

"It was my fault, Isabella. I'm a horrible brother. I'm supposed to protect you, not run away from you because my friends thought it would be funny."

"You were a child, Emmett, and I don't blame you. You shouldn't blame yourself either." I pat his cheek gently and get out of his hold. Laughing slightly, I wipe the tears away from my face as Emmett does the same. "Who would have thought we would actually touch each other, huh?" He laughs lightly with me.

"I'm sorry, Belly-bear." He sniffles and just like that, he's a child again; the same child that ran me over in our back yard when we were small children.

"Me too, Emmy." He smiles sadly before turning and lying back down on the couch as if nothing just happened. I roll my eyes and go into the kitchen, planning on cooking dinner for everyone tonight.

Getting out the ingredients for a lasagne, I get to work. Turning the radio on, I sway to the music and sing along, just like I have seen Renee do many times before.

"_I sing, because I have something to sing about. Growing up, my life was dark and now I have a loving husband and two beautiful children. When you get married and have children, you'll have a reason to sing, even if the singing isn't that good."_

I don't think Renee has ever said anything wiser than that. I know that I'm not married, nor do I have children, but now Edward is in my life, things already seem brighter. I know that Edward and I won't be together ten years from now, but he is my present and I love the way my life is going.

A shriek leaves my lips when I feel a warm body suddenly wrapped around me. Hands cover my eyes and I relax slightly when I breathe in his scent.

"Guess who," he whispers in my ear and I shiver when his breath makes contact with my neck.

"Oh, Billy. You've finally come home to me." I smirk, turning around to see Edward standing there with a pout on his beautiful face. "Oh, it's you," I deadpan, before bursting into a fit of giggles. He laughs along with me before kissing my lips chastely. "What are you doing here?" I breathe.

"Emmett let me in. Have you been crying?" he asks, his voice holding nothing but concern. His soft fingers run gently under my eyes and I know they are red and puffy from my hysterical crying fit just twenty minutes ago.

"Yeah, Emmett and I talked." I shrug, not knowing what to tell him. "We've sorted some stuff out," I finally admit.

"That's great, baby." He beams.

"So, why are you here?" I ask, my arms going around his neck.

"I thought that we could tell our parents today. Esme said she doesn't mind having some friends over tonight and I really want this to just be out in the open now. I don't want to have to hide my relationship with you from out parents." I nod.

"Okay. I guess I can leave the lasagne till tomorrow." I grab the already made lasagne and put it in the fridge before grabbing Edward's hand and pulling him with me upstairs. I know Esme and Carlisle very well, but tonight I won't be seeing them as Isabella Swan, I will be seeing them as Edward's new girlfriend and I want him to help me choose something to wear.

We reach my room and I go to my closet as Edward sits on my bed. I roll my eyes at him and he winks at me. Turning back to my clothes, I root through everything until I come across a black skirt and blue blouse. I don't know when I got this, but I think it will still fit me.

"Do you think this would be okay to wear?" I ask Edward, turning to show him while biting my lip. He nods with a smile and I put it on the desk chair ready to put on after a shower.

"Bella?" I turn around and smile at Edward as he lies across my bed, softly patting the spot next to him. I saunter over to him, putting my hair up in a messy bun as I walk. When I reach the bed, he grabs my hand and pulls me to him; his lips meeting mine eagerly as soon as they are in reach.

Without removing his lips from mine, he lays me on the bed and leans over my body slightly. His tongue softly nudges my bottom lip and I slightly part my lips, allowing him entrance. After a few moments, out kiss slows down and his lips leave mine, trailing along my jaw before putting a soft kiss at my pulse point. I feel him smirk against my skin when he feels how fast my heart is beating. It will always beat faster for him. Always.

"You okay, baby?" he asks and I can hear the grin in his voice. Putting one hand against his chest, I push his away from me so I can see his gorgeous face.

"Of course. You alright, Edward?" I breathe, feeling stupid for sounding so flustered. He nods and kisses my lips again chastely.

"I'm so fucking good, baby," he groans and I smirk before kissing him. Our kiss quickly becomes heated and I am soon leaning over him, chest to chest. His hands have taken out the hair band and are running though my long hair, tugging on it every so often. Breaking for air, I nibble on his jawline before kissing his neck, sucking lightly on his pulse point.

"God, I love you, Bella," he moans as I feel him shiver. My body freezes at the same time his does. Backing away slowly, I look him square in the eyes, confusion obvious on my face.

"What did you say?" I choke out, my eyes filling with tears.

"I didn't mean for it to come out like this." He runs his hands through his hair as one tear falls down my flushed cheek.

"What did you say, Edward?" I ask again. He looks me right in the eyes, one hand on my cheek wiping away my now falling tears and the other holding my hands in my lap.

"I love you, Bella." he breathes. My hand slowly comes up and covers the one on my cheek. More tears fall and he wipes them away the best he can with my hand covering his. "Don't cry, baby." His voice is barely audible, but I hear him. I lean forward and meet his lips with mine. The kiss is slow and sensual, both of us showing each other how much the other truly means to them. I can taste the salt from my tears, but I don't care.

Edward Cullen loves me? Am I dreaming? Am I going to wake up alone, in my room, having dreamed the past two months with Edward? If I do, I think this would kill me. The past two months have given me the most incredible of highs and the lowest of lows. If this all turned out to be fake, I don't know how I would cope. Everything I have felt has set my body alight with passion and desire; I have felt wanted, I have felt beautiful.

Edward's lips leave mine and he rests his forehead against mine. I look into his eyes and see the tears swimming in them. He's crying, too.

"Please say something," he croaks out. I can see the fear in his eyes. Fear of what? Rejection? I could never reject Edward. He is my everything.

"I love you, too," I choke out and his face lights up with the most beautiful smile.

"You can't begin to understand how happy I am," he breathes and his lips meet mine again.

When Renee and Charlie get home, they both agree to go to the Cullens' for dinner. Charlie is a little reluctant at first, not understanding why it is so important for us to go out on a Monday night. He agrees after Renee says that it was obviously important and if he doesn't go, she will not be happy with him.

Their relationship seems to have improved somewhat. They are both seeing where things go before they sign the divorce papers they have had drawn up. I don't think they will ever get signed; every chance they get, they innocently touch and share secret smiles with each other. They are acting like teenagers again and I love seeing them like this.

Pulling up outside the Cullens' home, Renee and Charlie climb out the car while I wait back for a moment. If our parents don't want us to be together, this whole relationship will fall apart. I love being with Edward and I don't want to have to stop seeing him. Shaking my head to clear those thoughts, I climb out and walk up to the door with my parents.

Emmett didn't want to come and said it would be easier on us if he wasn't there. Since he already knows what this is about, I didn't see it as important that he be there. When Renee walked in on us talking, she burst into tears, saying how happy she was that we weren't fighting any more. I didn't have the heart to tell her that Emmett and I have just started talking and are nowhere near the relationship we had before, but she seemed happy with the progress we had made today.

Charlie rings the doorbell and the door opens. Edward is standing in the doorway dressed in black slacks and a blue button down shirt. His hair is still the mess I made it earlier and I blush thinking back to our kiss before he told me he loved me. I look at his face to see his eyes taking me in as I had done earlier to him. I blush harder and he grins where he meets my eyes.

"Hey. Come on in." He stands to the side and lets my parents come in. I pause and when there is no-one in sight, I press my lips lightly to his.

"Hi." I smile and he takes my hand before walking into the living room and falling onto the couch, pulling me down next to him. We watch some drama program on television for a while until we are called into the dining room. Edward and I sit opposite of Renee and Esme, with our fathers at either end of the table.

Dinner is nice. We all talk about how our respective days were and other random things while we eat. After dessert, all four parents fall silent and look at Edward and I expectantly. Clearing his throat, Edward speaks.

"I asked for you all to come here tonight because we have some news. I know I should have asked your permission first, Mr. Swan. But, Isabella has agreed to be my girlfriend and we just wanted you all to know that we are in love." He exhales at the end. I look at each parent in turn and each face is blank.

Finally, Renee and Esme stand up and come around that table, kissing us both and telling us how amazing this is. Shocked, I smile, but I can't help but agree with them. This _is_ amazing. Charlie and Carlisle share a look before telling us they're happy that we're happy.

"You better not get her pregnant, boy," Charlie states, making Edward freeze and our mothers laugh. I blush a deep red, mortified that Charlie would say something like that.

"I-I-I promise not to," Edward stutters, blushing, his face matching the color of mine. Our parents laugh as both of our faces slowly return to their normal color.

The rest of the evening is spent in the family room. Edward and I curl up on a chair while our parents take the couches. Everyone seems happy with the news. As Edward kisses me softly, I realize that I should never have been worried about their reactions. Since we were born, they had hoped Edward, Emmett, Alice, and I would all get along and our relationship brings us all closer together.

"Are you happy, baby?" Edward whispers in my ear.

"I couldn't be happier."

**N'aww :') I am so happy for Bella. She finally admits what she really feels.**

**Hey everyone. I am soo sorry about the last chapter. I am aware that there was random 'him's placed in various places in the last chapter. I don't know why that happened, but I promise it won't be the same in the chapter. I think it's because I had to use several different writing tools on my mother's computer, none of which are very good.**

**The next few chapters will be a bit rough, so just a warning. Also, please dont hate me. :) **

**Thank you for sticking with me on this story. Also, RuthPerk, thank you :)**

**Thanks for reading and please leave a review.**

**Twi-girl09**

_**x**_


	34. Chapter 32

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a Fanfiction and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy!**

**Last time:**

_Dinner is nice. We all talk about how our respective days were and other random things while we eat. After dessert, all four parents fall silent and look at Edward and I expectantly. Clearing his throat, Edward speaks._

_"I asked for you all to come here tonight because we have some news. I know I should have asked your permission first, Mr. Swan. But, Isabella has agreed to be my girlfriend and we just wanted you all to know that we are in love." He exhales at the end. I look at each parent in turn and each face is blank._

_Finally, Renee and Esme stand up and come around the table, kissing us both and telling us how amazing this is. Shocked, I smile, but I can't help but agree with them. This is amazing. Charlie and Carlisle share a look before telling us they're happy that we're happy._

_"You better not get her pregnant, boy," Charlie states, making Edward freeze and our mothers laugh. I blush a deep red, mortified that Charlie would say something like that._

_"I-I-I promise not to," Edward stutters, blushing, his face matching the color of mine. Our parents laugh as both of our faces slowly return to their normal color._

_The rest of the evening is spent in the family room. Edward and I curl up on a chair while our parents take the couches. Everyone seems happy with the news. As Edward kisses me softly, I realize that I should never have been worried about their reactions. Since we were born, they had hoped Edward, Emmett, Alice, and I would all get along and our relationship brings us all closer together._

_"Are you happy, baby?" Edward whispers in my ear._

_"I couldn't be happier."_

**Chapter thirty-two.**

**Now:**

"You're so fucking beautiful. I can't keep my fucking hands off of you." I hear Edward groan in my ear and gooseflesh erupts on my skin.

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, Cullen?" I ask, my voice breathy.

"Only you, baby. Only you." A soft moan escapes my lips when he takes my bottom lip between his, massaging it with his tongue.

"Will you two please stop it?" I pull away from Edward and look over at Alice as she smiles widely from her place under Jaspers arm.

"You're just jealous." Edward smirks, taking a sip out of his coke can and throwing his arm around my shoulders.

"Believe me, I'm not. I'm just trying to eat and seeing you two practically fucking is putting me off," she huffs, chucking a bread roll on to her paper plate. I chuckle slightly and grab my small salad, picking at the lettuce and putting small pieces into my mouth. I wash it down with some water.

"I wish you would eat real food." I turn to look at Edward and his face has fallen. His eyes are slightly angry, but they look somewhat sad. I peck his lips with mine and pull away with a long sigh. Since the dinner at his parents' last week, I have decided to go on yet another diet. It will make me feel better about myself if I lose some weight and, hopefully, Edward will like me better if I'm thinner.

"I am eating real food, Edward. Just because you think a greasy burger is better than salad doesn't mean I do too." I prove my point by sticking a carrot stick into my mouth. His eyes follow my movement and I see him swallow hard. Internally, I smirk.

"You're fucking perfect the way you fucking are. Why do you have to do all these shitty diets?" he groans. My stomach drops at the thought of upsetting him, but I want to be better for him. I want him to be proud to be seen with me. I want him to point down the hallways at me and say 'that's my girl'. I need to be better for him.

"I agree with him, Bella. You're perfectly fine and if I was a lesbian, I would so do you." Alice winks across the table at me and I blush at all the compliments.

"Could I watch?" Jasper smirks, opening a bag of chips. Alice giggles and whispers something into his ear, making Jasper shift uncomfortably. Poor guy, he didn't stand a chance after that comment.

"Can we just drop it? I'm fine with salads, and if I lose a few pounds, that's just an added bonus." Edward rolls his eyes and kisses my cheek before biting into a burger. Ketchup dribbles down his chin and I smile before wiping it off with a napkin.

"Aww, look, guys. Isabella is trying to eat Edward now, just like she did Richard. Poor guy couldn't get away in time." I look up to see Tanya standing there, with an evil smirk on her face and a group of people behind her. They all laugh at her comment that makes little to no sense what so ever. How am I trying to eat Edward? I'm taking the sauce off of him, not putting it on. I want to roll my eyes, but I resist. Wait, last week she was happy for us and now she is making a scene? I will never understand teenage girls. Well, other teenage girls.

"Whatever, Tanya. Just walk away before you completely embarrass yourself," Edward sneers and I look down at the table. My face is hot and I can just imaging I look like a fire engine right now. I'm the right size for it.

"No, Edward. It's Valentine's Day and you just remember what you arranged with Mike at th…." He cuts her off before she can finish. His face is angry and he stands up quickly, making his chair hit the floor.

"Fuck off, you stupid bitch! What don't you fucking understand? Bella is my girlfriend, whether you like it or not." He is absolutely seething and they all back away, muttering to each other as they walk out the room.

I pull him to look at me and he does so before picking up his chair and sitting in it. He runs a hand through his hair before he turns, wrapping me in his arms and holding onto me tightly. I hold him back, putting my head into his neck. I breathe in his amazing scent, letting myself be comforted by him.

"Don't listen to them, baby. You're so fucking amazing, just fucking amazing," he whispers that last part and I nod, trying to make him calm down a little. He pulls away and puts my face into his hands, looking me right in the eyes. "Everything they say are all lies, everything. Do you believe me, baby? You have to believe me." His eyes are wild and I flinch. What is up with him?

"I believe you. Edward, please calm down, you're scaring me," I whisper, but I know Alice and Jasper can hear me. Edward glances over at them and seems to be having some kind of silent conversation with Jasper. I thought only women that did that.

"I'm sorry, baby." His lips meet mine softly and I can feel his anger slowly leaving his body. "You are so fucking perfect."

"You're just blind," I tease. He laughs quietly and just like that, the tension leaves the small bubble we have created.

"So, it's Valentine's Day." Alice giggles, looking pointedly at Jasper. He smirks at her, but doesn't say anything.

"Yeah, it is. And your point?" Edward asks, biting into the delicious looking burger. He sees me looking and holds it out but I shake my head, picking up an apple and biting into it.

"Are you guys doing anything?" she asks us, glancing at Jasper again. She has been talking non-stop all week about how Jasper forgot it was Valentine's Day and he hasn't planned anything with her. I bet that he has a plan, but he just doesn't want to tell her yet. In fact, I'm certain he has something planned. If he doesn't, Alice will make him beg for her forgiveness.

"I dunno, are we?" I look up at Edward and he shrugs, taking a sip from a can of something fizzy.

"I may have something planned." He winks at Jasper and I sigh, knowing that he probably has something big planned and won't tell me. Well, unless I make him tell me. I poke him just under his ribs; he flinches and looks down at me.

"So, do you have something planned?" He shrugs at me so I poke him again, making him laugh.

"You'll have to wait and find out," he whispers, placing a kiss against my forehead.

-x-

Flipping through the television channels, I glance out the window, waiting for Edward to show up. Renee and Charlie have gone out for the night. Charlie has arranged for them to go out to dinner in Port A. and they are staying in a motel for the night. Too much info, but at least I know they won't be home to ruin my evening with Edward. Emmett and Rosalie have also gone out for the night, staying at her house or something. I didn't really ask, to be honest.

Glancing out the window again, I see a mail truck pull up and put a load in our mail box. Charlie hates out mail being left out there for too long. He thinks that someone will come along and steal our identities. Why anyone would want to steal my identity is lost on me, but he's still paranoid. Sometimes, his being a cop is more of a burden than anything else.

I sigh and walk to the front door, unlock it, and walk to the mail box at the end of the driveway. Locking the door when I am home alone is a habit that I have always had. Getting the pile of mail out, I sort through it as I walk back to the house. Most of it is junk, but I stop when I come across a brown envelope with '_Isabella Swan' _written on it in red ink.

I put the rest of the mail under my arm and open the brown envelope. Inside is a disk and a note. I furrow my brow and pull the note out, leaving the disk where it is. Unfolding the note, I smile when I see Edward's name at the bottom of the note. It has been typed, but even the font looks incredible close to Edward's handwriting.

Going back into the house, I lock the door and put the rest of the mail on the table by the door and take mine with me up to my bedroom. Falling onto the bed, I hold the note just above me as I read it.

'_Isabella….._

_The last couple of months have been amazing. You have turned out to be someone I never thought I would ever meet. We connected instantly and I will never be more pleased. You mean everything to me now and I just wanted you to know._

_Today, as you know, is __V__alentine's __D__ay__. In this envelope, I have added a disk. I want you to watch it and I will be there later tonight to spend the __V__alentines __evening in with you. When you watch the video, I want you to know _everything _on there is 100% true. I love you._

_Forever yours,_

_Edward, xoxo.'_

I smile and jumping off the bed, I run to the DVD player and put the disk in. I sit back on the bed when the DVD is in the player and I press play. A black screen comes up and I frown. Where's the video?

The black screen shifts and a crowded room appears on the screen. I smile, glad it's working now. In the corner, the date and time shows it's just after ten on the Twentieth of December - the day before he started talking to me. The camera pans around the room, showing everyone getting drunk and smoking.

What looks like Rosalie and Tanya are bending over a table, snorting lines of cocaine through what look like tubes from a tampon. Emmett is under Rosalie - she's sitting on his lap - with a beer in his hand and a joint hanging from his lips.

I can already tell he is high or drunk, probably both. He's smiling, watching Rosalie with adoration. She straightens up again and makes another line of cocaine on the table. She says something to Emmett, but the music is too loud for me to hear. He nods and she gets up, allowing him to move.

Tears spring to my eyes when I see Emmett take that line and attach his mouth to Rosalie's, kissing her with passion. My stomach churns and I look away, until I hear the music get lower. I look back to see the camera go black again.

When it comes back on, the camera is in a different room. It's not as crowded, but I can hear everyone else in a different room. The time in the corner has skipped an hour and everyone looks more blazed. The camera pans the room, showing everyone. I see Alice in the corner on Jasper's lap, her head on his shoulder, looking the most sober out of everyone.

"So, Mike, it's your dare, dude," A guy says from behind the camera, obviously the one filming. It sounds like Tyler, but I can't be sure. Every one of his friends is sitting around in a circle, taking different things and drinking from brown glass bottles and beer cans.

"M'kay." The camera is on Mike as he scans the crowd, looking from face to face. His eyes stop just to his left and he grins.

"Edward," he slurs. The camera goes to Edward; my heart drops. His beautiful green eyes are red rimmed and he is taking some kind of tablet. His hair is a complete mess and he has Tanya hanging on him, biting all over his neck. Edward looks at Mike and tries to focus on him through his haze.

"Do your worst," he sneers playfully and everyone laughs. I even smile a little. Trust Edward to try and act tough, even at a game of dares.

"I dare you to…." Mike pauses and I can see him look at Emmett. Emmett seems to have passed out, snores loudly coming out of his open mouth. Rosalie, who is with Emmett, catches Mike's eyes and nods at him, telling him to continue. With one last glance at Emmett, Mike turns back to Edward.

"I dare you to take someone's virginity within the time limit I give you." I frown, but continue to watch

"What?" Edward chokes out, looking at Mike with disgust.

"You have to take someone's virginity before the day after Valentine's Day." Everyone laughs and my stomach churns. Why would someone want to take something so precious to someone for a dare?

"No way, man. I ain't no doing that." He laughs, but Mikes face stays serious.

"If you do, I'll give you my car." Mike looks smug and Rosalie whistles one long note, almost as if the car was too much for simply taking someone's virginity.

"Ah, man. You know I love your car," Edward whines and I smile a little. Seeing this fun side of Edward with his friends makes me feel like he doesn't pretend with me. Maybe I do know the real Edward.

Edwards looks around at everyone, almost as if he was at war with himself. Surely he can't be considering it? The car must mean something to Edward if he was willing to do this dare. Surely he wouldn't agree to it. Why would he want to take someone virginity?

"Who's?" he asks. Everyone has stopped talking and is now listening to the conversation taking place.

"Fatty Swan's." Mike smirks. Edward looks disgusted. My stomach churns. He wouldn't do that. Right? He didn't agree to it. Right? He would say no and tell Mike to shut up. I know Edward. He wouldn't do that.

"Okay, I'll do it."

**Yes, I know you all probably hate me, but just stick with me for a bit. I promise things will look up for our favorite girl.**

**Thanks, RuthPerk.**

**Thank you all for reading and please leave me a review, even if it is just to yell at me.**

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	35. Chapter 33

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a Fanfiction****and there will be fiction in the story.**

**I am only sixteen and I don't feel ****completely comfortable to write a lemon, but this chapter does contain fluff. This chapter is fiction. Enjoy!**

**Last time:**

_"If you do, I'll give you my car." Mike looks smug and Rosalie whistles one long note, almost as if the car was too much for simply taking someone's virginity._

_"Ah, man. You know I love your car," Edward whines and I smile a little. Seeing this fun side of Edward with his friends makes me feel like he doesn't pretend with me. Maybe I do know the real Edward._

_Edwards looks around at everyone, almost as if he was at war with himself. Surely he can't be considering it? The car must mean something to Edward if he was willing to do this dare. Surely he wouldn't agree to it. Why would he want to take someone virginity?_

_"Who's?" he asks. Everyone has stopped talking and is now listening to the conversation taking place._

_"Fatty Swan's." Mike smirks. Edward looks disgusted. My stomach churns. He wouldn't do that. Right? He didn't agree to it. Right? He would say no and tell Mike to shut up. I know Edward. He wouldn't do that._

_"Okay, I'll do it."_

**Chapter thrity-three.**

**Now:**

My eyes go wide and I let out a small sob as the camera shuts off.

Sob after sob leaves my heaving chest as I stare at the black screen. Is this why Edward has been my friend for the past few months? This was all a game to him? How could I have been so stupid? Of course it was a game. I'm Isabella Swan, dubbed 'fatty' to every know person in Forks. He's Edward Cullen, Forks High king.

I get up off my bed and run to the bathroom. I just make it, and empty my stomach into the porcelain bowl. Hysterical sobs leave me along with my stomach content. My hot, salty tears mix together and land in the bowl.

I'm so stupid.

I spend the next half an hour crying on the bathroom floor. I can't find the strength to get up or even flush the toilet. Eventually, I do. I wash my face and brush my teeth before getting into the shower. I wash everything, letting the tears fall. The warm water feels good on my skin, but I don't want to feel good. Turning the water to hot, I watch as it scalds me, turning my pale skin a fierce red.

By eight o'clock, I'm sitting on my bed, looking out the window into the dark night. I freeze when I hear Edward's motor bike as it comes down the road and cuts off. I hear him climb the tree by my window and I can hear him slide the window open and climb in.

He sees me waiting for him and smiles. I give him a small smile back, my heart hurting more than it has in a long time. He frowns and pauses, looking me over. This pain is worse than anything I have ever had before. I would rather get beaten up again, than feel like this. I hope he really likes his new car.

"Hey, what's up?" he asks, coming over to me after shutting the window. He opens his arms for me and I fall into them, letting a few tears fall. I snuggle into his chest, letting the familiar warmth take over for what might be the last time ever. I breathe in his manly scent, trying to embed it into my memory. I guess I'm a masochist.

"Nothing, I mutter into his neck, my hands in his beautiful hair. I clutch it and pull him to me. His arms go around my waist and he holds me. If we weren't so comfortable with each other, I may feel self-conscious. He can feel every curve like this. He can feel all of my fat and he's not trying to pull away. I will miss this.

"Please tell me." His words are a whisper into my hair before his kisses the spot he just spoke to. I swallow the lump in my throat and pull back enough to see his face. I look over every inch - his strong jaw line and his angular nose, his plump red lips and finally, his emerald eyes. I look between both eyes, feeling more tears burning the back of mine.

I smile faintly as I trace the small scar on his bottom lip with my finger tip. He smiles too, obviously remembering how it came to be there. If I could go back, I would have kissed him back. I wouldn't have acted so scared and stupidly.

"Please," he urges, catching my eyes with his. I shut my eyes tight before looking into his again and placing my lips to his. He kisses me back, moaning into the kiss when I tighten my grip in his hair. I let myself enjoy the kiss, for it could be our last. He lets me deepen the kiss and soon he is lying on top of me, our kisses getting out of control.

When he goes to pull back, I stop him. His eyes open and he look confused, finally getting out of my grip. His breath is coming out in pants, like mine, but he has never looked more beautiful to me.

"What are you doing?" he pants. I try to look seductive, but I probably just look desperate. I'm sure he will love telling this story to all his friends.

"I want you," I whisper huskily. He shakes his head no and tries to get off me, but I wrap my legs around his waist and grind up on him. Pleasure shoots through me and I moan. If I could just keep us in this moment forever, I would.

"You're killing me," he groans. I smirk slightly. Ah, Edward, you're killing me, too; a slow, painful death.

"But, what a way to go." I smile into his neck. He moans again before he starts rocking on top of me. Moan after moan leaves my lips before they mingle with Edward's. He kisses me with a passion he has never shown before and my body is on fire.

Our kisses get hotter and Edward's shirt hits the floor. I trail my hands over his chest and abs, feeling muscles bunch under my touch. I smile when Edward bites on my neck, marking me as his. I let him continue with his bites, the pain adding to the pleasure.

I do, however, freeze when Edward's hands try and lift my top. As if he can sense my nerves, he stops.

"If you don't want to do this, we don't have to," he breathes, kissing my cheek.

"I want to, I just…" I take a deep breath. "I'm disgusting, Edward. I'm fat and I will probably never be skinny." I can't stop myself before I say it. Well, I might as well give him a chance to get out of this. After all, he will have me on his body if we continue. He glares at me and kisses me hard.

"You're beautiful to me, baby. You're everything I will ever want, but I won't do this if you're not ready." Tears fall down my cheeks and I kiss Edward. This time, our kiss is slower, more sensual. He tries to take my top off and this time, I let him. He looks over my body and I try to cover up, but he stops me, taking my hands in one of his and pinning them above my head. He looks over my body once before meeting my eyes again and placing a kiss to my lips.

"Beautiful."

~/3~

I open my eyes slowly, seeing the dark room and feeling Edward's arms wrapped around my naked body. I smile, looking at the wall. Everything about last night was perfect. Every touch and every caress felt amazing. I felt alive, I felt loved. The funny thing is, I almost believed it.

Peeling Edward's arms off of me, I stand, wincing, and head towards the bathroom. I grab a change of clothes before turning on the shower and locking the bathroom door. I shower quickly and get dressed, putting my hair up in a bun on the top of my head. My neck is exposed and I bet the bites are visible, but I can't find it in me to care. I choose not to look at them yet, choosing to dress first.

There is a dull throb in the bottom of my stomach, but I try to ignore it. It doesn't hurt; it's just a little uncomfortable. After dressing, I look into the mirror. Sure enough, red and purple bruises litter my neck and collar bones, showing everyone exactly what Edward and I did last night.

My lips are still swollen, making me look like I had bad plastic surgery. My eyes are bright, but also sad. I can see the hurt and betrayal in them, also the disgust. I am disgusted with myself; I'm disgusted with him.

I just lost my virginity to someone because of their bet. It wasn't because it was my wedding night, like I promised myself I would wait for. Oh, who am I kidding? It's not likely I will ever get married. Who would want to marry a fat beast? Who would be interested in someone like me? An ugly, fat, unlovable person.

Tears come to my eyes as I run my fingers over the bites on my neck. _Love bites_? I mentally scoff. More like proof that he did it. He did _me_. I wonder if Emmett knows all about his little bet. I'm sure he does. He probably made sure Renee and Charlie went out so that Edward could get it over and done with. He probably told Edward to not take no for an answer.

I jump when a knock sounds on the bathroom door. I compose myself and wipe away the tears before answering the door.

Edward stands there, a lazy smile on his stupid, beautiful face. He leans in and brushes his lips against mine lightly.

"Good morning," he whispers against my lips. I give him a small kiss back before walking past him and pulling the sheets off the bed.

He watches me with an amused look from the doorway, wearing nothing but his boxer shorts. As soon as the bed is stripped I throw him his clothes and go downstairs into the kitchen, taking my bed sheets with me. I can hear him following me and I want to scream at him. Instead I bite my lip, letting the tears fall. Why hide them? He's just going to leave anyway.

"Baby, what is the matter with you?" he asks, grasping my right wrist and turning me to face him. I notice he hasn't gotten dressed yet and I look him in the eyes, glaring right through him. "I knew it was too soon for this," he mutters, shaking his head. I glare harder. "Don't blame me, I tried to stop you," he huffs, dropping my hand.

I take it back then push it forward, slapping his face with as much force as I could manage. He stumbles backwards and puts his hand to his face. I want to smile and beg for forgiveness at the same time. I want to apologize, and then do it again.

"_Baby_?" I mimic, shaking my head. Tears of hurt and frustration fall down my face at a faster pace. "I am **not** your baby." I stalk out the kitchen and into the living room, pacing in front of the couch. He follows and watches from a safe distance.

My mind is full of anger, but my heart is hurting. I want him to hold me; it hurts so much. It feels like I am being stabbed in the chest with every beat of my heart. I have never meant anything to him. I always had my suspicions, but I didn't want to believe it.

Now, it's in my face. I have the proof of it in my DVD player. The only reason he has spoken to me in the past few months is because of a dare. If it wasn't for that, he would still be calling me names, he would still be laughing along with everyone else and taunting me when I walk past him.

"You don't have to stay here. I understand. I'll even tell Mike you did it and you can get your precious car. I'll even show him the marks on my neck for proof." Realization dawns on him and he stumbles backwards, as if he has just been shot. I storm towards him, ready to give him a piece of my mind.

"Don't worry, I'll only tell Mike about this whole thing. That way you get the car you wanted and you get to keep your rep. Everyone else at the party was so smashed they probably won't remember your dare anyway. It'll be our little secret." I keep my voice calm and I try and stop the tears.

Edward looks heartbroken. His eyes are bloodshot and filling with tears. His whole posture has crumbled and he looks like a broken man. Not the strong, confident Edward I thought I knew. Why is he so hurt, so upset? Maybe he just realized what he has done? Maybe he is so disgusted with himself? Believe me, I would be too if I was him.

"Bella…" I cut him off, putting my hands up at him to stop him from coming towards me. He still advances towards me and I take a step back, but it's no use.

"Do not call me that!" I spit, my voice getting louder.

"Bella, hear me out," he tries again and I hit him again, right where I hit him before.

"I said don't call me that, damn it!" I scream at him. We both freeze and look towards the door when the lock turns and opens. Emmett and Rosalie walk in, but stop when they see the scene in front of them.

Emmett's face turns red as he takes in my tear stained face and Edward's lack of clothes. His eyes take in everything before they land on my neck. Rosalie smirks at the scene and she smiles at Edward before she looks at me. Her smile disappears and she looks shocked.

"What the hell is that on your neck?" Emmett roars coming forward to expect my neck. I push him away from me and sit on the couch, putting my face into my hands and letting more tears fall.

My whole life is a mess right now. Everything I thought was right and good about the world is being ripped away from me. Any feelings I thought Edward had for me were lies. I'll give him credit, he's a good actor. He had me fooled, he even had Alice fooled. That is not easy to do, but he managed it. I should applaud him, really. Maybe he should go to acting school instead of medical school.

Footsteps walk towards me and I know it's him. His scent surrounds me, making me feel even worse. I want everything to go away; the pain is too much to cope with. I hate it,. I hate him.

"Baby, you have to listen to me," he begs and I lift my head and give him a fake, watery smile. He smiles back. Well, until I punch him again, that is. Emmett and Rosalie watch from a distance. They're probably getting the evidence that I did it for Mike.

"I am not your fucking baby, Edward. I gave you what you wanted. I fucked you! Why don't you just leave? I'm sure Mike is waiting with your new car!" I scream and push him away, running upstairs. I fall onto my bed, my body shaking with the force of my sobs.

My heart is sinking and I feel sick. Why me? Why today? Everything has been amazing these last few weeks and I thought everything was going to be okay. Then something bad has to happen. I should have expected it; nice things don't happen to me.

Shouting comes from downstairs and I just know that Emmett and Edward are arguing. The thought makes my head hurt. I don't need Emmett to fight my battles for me. He hasn't for the last seven years, so why start now? I just want my mom to sit with me and comfort me. I need her to tell me everything is going to be okay.

A knock on my door makes me wipe at my tears and glare through the wood. Who could that be? Emmett and Edward are still yelling at each other, so it can't be one of them. Pure confusion is the only thing that makes me get off the bed and walk to the door, opening it slowly.

Rosalie is standing on the other side of the door and as soon as I see her, I close the door in her face. What does she want now? She can see I'm already upset; I don't need her making everything worse. What is she even doing here anyway? She's been living in Port A for the last few weeks, why would she come back? Maybe to see Emmett? I really don't know and I really don't care, either.

"Isabella, please let me in. I just want to talk," she calls through the door. I can just barely hear her over the shouting and my own cries. I shake my head, but then realize she won't be able to see it.

Do I let her in? Anything she has to say would take away this pain and replace it with her own spiteful words. Maybe she wants to repeat what happened last time. My ribs have just healed, so if she wanted to break them again, it would take the pain away from my heart, if only for a little while.

With a sigh, I open the door again and let her come into my room. Why, I don't know. She smiles a small, sad smile at me and sits on the chair in front of my dresser. I go to the bed, lying on it and crying softly. Why now? Everything was going so good, and now, I have nothing left. Edward was my everything. I love him so much.

She doesn't say anything, just looking around the room, her eyes occasionally landing on me.

"What do you want, Rosalie?" I whimper, sounding so pathetic. She sighs softly and walks over to the bed, sitting just by my feet. I flinch away from her and bury my face into my pillow.

"I wanted to apologize for everything I have done to you. You didn't deserve any of it." I lift my head and look up at her. I know I look a mess with my red cheeks and my hair down and in knots around my shoulders.

"Why now? Why apologize to me now?" I ask, sniffling through my tears.

"I'm a very jealous person, Isabella." I snort unattractively. What does she have to be jealous of? She's perfect. She doesn't say anything for a while and when she starts to talk again, I know she's uncomfortable.

"When I first met Emmett, all he would talk about was his Isabella. Without even knowing her, I hated her. When I met you, I instantly hated you. I wanted Emmett's attention but every time you called him, he would go running.

"I was selfish, I still am. I asked him to stop going to you all the time and he was upset at first. I told him lies about you. I told him that you would say awful things to me and his hate for you began to build up. I felt bad, but after a while, it was okay. I wanted his attention and with you gone, I got it. I'm so very sorry, Isabella."

"Go away," I whisper, turning over so my back is facing her and curling into a tight ball. She leaves and the door closes with a soft click.

Nobody bothers me for hours. I hear the front door open and close several times, but no-one comes near my room. I am thankful that I am not bothered; I'm in too much pain to talk to anyone right now. Every breath I take feels like my ribs are broken again and every wet thump of my heart is like a stab to the chest. I want it all to stop. My body is aching from last night and my head hurts from the force of my cries. Everything seems to be closing in on me, but running away at the same time. I'm so confused.

What is right and what is wrong? I thought Edward loved me. He told me he did. Was everything a game to him? Did he plan the attack with Rosalie? Did he help her come up with the idea to beat me up then claim I was run over by a car? Is that why he got high that day, to hide the guilt of his plans? Will he go and tell everyone what he did, then have sex with Tanya in the back seat of his new car? After he disinfects himself, of course.

The idea makes my stomach turn and I run to the bathroom, falling to my knees in front of the toilet. My sobs stop momentarily while my body heaves out everything in my stomach. My head spins as I sink to the floor, laying my flushed face against the cool tiles. I meant nothing to him. Nothing!

I don't know when and I don't know how, but I slowly cry myself into exhaustion.

**Please, just stick with me for a while.**

**I know you all probably hate me, again, but trust me. Okay?**

**Maybe review?**

**Thanks, RuthPerk.**

**Thank you all for ****reading.**

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	36. Chapter 34

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a Fanfiction and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy!**

**Last time:**

_"I was selfish, I still am. I asked him to stop going to you all the time and he was upset at first. I told him lies about you. I told him that you would say awful things to me and his hate for you began to build up. I felt bad, but after a while, it was okay. I wanted his attention and with you gone, I got it. I'm so very sorry, Isabella."_

_"Go away," I whisper, turning over so my back is facing her and curling into a tight ball. She leaves and the door closes with a soft click._

_Nobody bothers me for hours. I hear the front door open and close several times, but no-one comes near my room. I am thankful that I am not bothered; I'm in too much pain to talk to anyone right now. Every breath I take feels like my ribs are broken again and every wet thump of my heart is like a stab to the chest. I want it all to stop. My body is aching from last night and my head hurts from the force of my cries. Everything seems to be closing in on me, but running away at the same time. I'm so confused._

_What is right and what is wrong? I thought Edward loved me. He told me he did. Was everything a game to him? Did he plan the attack with Rosalie? Did he help her come up with the idea to beat me up then claim I was run over by a car? Is that why he got high that day, to hide the guilt of his plans? Will he go and tell everyone what he did, then have sex with Tanya in the back seat of his new car? After he disinfects himself, of course._

_The idea makes my stomach turn and I run to the bathroom, falling to my knees in front of the toilet. My sobs stop momentarily while my body heaves out everything in my stomach. My head spins as I sink to the floor, laying my flushed face against the cool tiles. I meant nothing to him. Nothing!_

_I don't know when and I don't know how, but I slowly cry myself into exhaustion._

**Chapter thirty-four.**

**Now:**

"Isabella, please come out of your room. You need to eat something." I glance towards the door and roll my eyes at my mother on the other side. I don't need to eat. That's what got me in this mess in the first place. If I was like all the other girls at school, I wouldn't have been the first person they thought of when making that dare; the same dare that has shattered my heart into a million pieces.

I know I was the one that gave myself to him, but they had it all planned out months before. They knew when it was going to happen, and who with. They knew before I did that I would give everything to him. God, I am so stupid.

I knew something was up when he started talking to me all of a sudden. Why would anyone want to be my friend and work so hard for it, let alone him? He called me names and ridiculed me for years and I let him in so easily. I know everything is my own fault. I forgave him too easily and quickly. Come to think of it, I deserve what I got.

Thinking back to Christmas, I remember that Grandma Swan offered for me to stay with her. She told me she could help me lose weight and find me a rich man. I doubt the second part would ever happen, but I would love to lose this weight. I know it probably won't ever happen. If it did though, I could come back here and show everyone what I had made of myself.

"Isabella." I sigh and climb off of my bed, going over and unlocking the door. When I open it, my mother sighs in relief. "I worried when you didn't answer me." I nod, looking at the floor.

When Renee and Charlie came home from their evening away, Emmett told them that Edward and I broke up. I don't know what he told them exactly, but I know they aren't aware that I lost my virginity. Renee came up and asked if I was okay, but I shrugged her off by saying it was just some silly thing and it didn't matter anymore.

"Oh, baby." She takes me in her arms and I just stand there. The last time someone touched me was when... I stop that thought. Thinking back on it hurts so badly. I will always remember it and I hate that. I hate how it will always be there in the back of my mind.

"I'm fine, Mom." I shrug out of her grasp and shut my door before going downstairs. In the kitchen, Emmett, Charlie, and Rosalie are sitting around the table, eating the food my mom prepared. I sit down and pull my too long sleeves up so I can get my hands free. Rosalie and Emmett glance at each other before looking at me and I want to tell them to take a picture. Why does it matter if I'm wearing a sweatshirt Edward left here? I hate him right now, but I don't want to let him go completely just yet.

I don't really eat; just move my food around my plate. My appetite has been practically non-existent this past week. Yes, it's been a full week. Every morning, I look out my window and see him sitting in his car at the end of my driveway. It isn't his new car; I have yet to see it. And every morning, I walk past his car like it isn't there. I hear him calling my name, but I turn up my music and walk faster. It hurts so much and I end up crying in the girls' bathroom before first period.

I just can't understand what he wants. He got what he needed to get the car he so desperately wanted. I gave him my heart, my body, my virginity. I don't have anything else left to give.

"That Cullen boy is sitting outside in his car," Charlie huffs and everyone looks at me. "Again," he finishes. I don't look up; I just watch my fork scraping across my plate.

"Isabella, your father is talking to you," Renee scolds and I look up at her. I know how pathetic I look.

"What do you want me to do?" I choke out, my voice being used for the first time all day. "He isn't my problem anymore." I swallow hard and put my fork down.

"I want to go to Grandma Swan's," I whisper and everyone stops eating to look at me.

"What? Why?" my mother gasps and I swallow the lump in my throat.

"She said she could help me and I want to go. I just..." I take a deep breath, blinking back tears. "I just can't be here anymore." It's deadly silent in the room until Charlie gets up, scraping his chair across the floor. I wince at the high pitched sound and watch as he leaves the room, and then the house.

Rosalie and Emmett are the next to leave. He takes her hand and they go up the stairs, to his bedroom I guess. Renee stands, but she doesn't leave the room. Instead, she starts collecting everyone's abandoned plates, taking them to the sink to wash.

If I had known it would upset everyone so much, I wouldn't have said I wanted to leave. I am so selfish. Charlie has just left and Emmett doesn't want to be in the same room as me. Renee is distracting herself so she doesn't have to talk to me, and I just sit here pathetically. They may seem like they don't want me to leave, but they would be so much happier without me here. They could get on with their lives without me here, mourning over something as stupid as my heart.

The front door bangs open and I jump, looking up at the noise. Charlie storms into the house; his face red and veins sticking out on his forehead. His hand is wrapped around Edward's collar as he drags him towards the kitchen. For the first time in what feels like forever, I see Edward.

His perfect hair is a complete mess, and not in its usual sexy way. His jaw is covered in heavy stubble, and his clothes are dirty. His cheeks are pale, and his green eyes are red rimmed and filled with tears. He looks awful.

Charlie throws him onto the floor just in front of me and I stand up, asking Charlie what his problem is.

"You tell me, boy! You tell me what you've done to make my girl want to leave!" Charlie yells and Edward looks up at me, complete sadness covering all of his features.

"You're leaving?" His voice is thick as tears spill down his cheeks. I don't answer him. I sit back down and play with my hands in my lap, letting my hair fall around my face so he can't see me.

"Charles Swan, what do you think you are doing?" my mother shrieks, as if just registering what is going on around her.

"I want to know what that boy did to make my daughter want to leave home!" He jabs a finger towards Edward, making him flinch. The room grows silent; no-one knows what to say to make this situation any better.

I want to run up to my room, away from him. My chest hurts, almost like I can't breathe. I know he's looking at me. I know he can finally see me for the fat, pathetic girl I really am. I'll bet he's regretting ever touching me right now. I hope he can see the hurt he's inflicted on me and I hope he's hurting because of it. He's probably not. He knew what he was doing when he agreed to the bet. My feelings mean nothing to him.

"Bella." I hear him whisper and I clench my eyes tight shut. Tears build up behind my lids, but I won't let them spill. I have cried far too much because of him and I won't do it anymore. My mom and dad slowly shuffle out of the room and I couldn't hate them more than this moment. Why are they leaving? Charlie dragged him in here, so he should have to deal with him. I don't want him anywhere near me.

I glance up at him and curse silently as my hair falls, showing him my face. I look at the floor by my feet and I can see him standing up. He doesn't move closer to me, but just stands awkwardly. I take a deep breath and look up at his face. What I see shatters any remaining pieces of my heart.

"Please, Bella. Let me talk to you." I see the tears swimming in his eyes and my stomach drops. I don't want to talk to him, but I know I have to if he is ever going to leave me alone again. I stand up from my seat with shaky legs and face him.

Why can't I just go back in time and not let him into my life? I was fine with growing old and being lonely until Edward started being nice to me. Like the stupid girl I am, I let him in without much thought and he hurt me. I would rather let Rosalie beat me all day every day than feel this pain. Even the mention of his name now is like a stab to my chest. My already wounded heart is nothing but dust now; I can't take it anymore.

"Why should I, Edward? After everything you have done to me, I forgave you and look what that did. I gave you everything I could and you threw it away for a car!" My voice breaks on the last few words and my legs give out, making me fall to the floor, sobbing into my hands. I gave him everything!

"I didn't want to hurt you. I never meant for it to end like this." I hear him walking closer and I look up, glaring at him. He stops suddenly and sits in a chair, resting his elbows on his knees.

"What did you expect, Edward? What did you think I would feel when I saw you driving around in your new car with your new girl? When you left me after I gave you the one thing I promised myself I would save?"

His face crumbles and his tears fall over the edge, running down his perfect cheeks. I long to reach out and wipe them away, but I stop myself. He can't just cry and everything will be okay. It doesn't work that way.

"I'm messed up, okay? I always have been and I always will be. I didn't think about your feelings at the time; I was high as a kite. I wanted his car so fucking bad. When I first started talking to you, yeah, it was for the bet. But he crashed his car the next week, and I still spoke to you. I got to know you and I wanted to be around you. I wanted to be your friend, Bella, because I care about you."

"Don't call me that," I hiss and he looks startled.

"What?" he chokes out, his voice getting thicker with his tears.

"Don't call me 'Bella'. You don't have the right to call me 'Bella' anymore." He lets out a sob from his throat then and I wipe under my eyes with my thumb.

Getting up from the floor, I grab a glass of water and lean against the counter, looking everywhere but him. I take deep breaths, willing myself to not cry. So, Mike crashed the car and Edward still carried on with the bet. What else did he offer him? I'll bet it was much better than a car. After all, he did spend a lot of time with me; time he could have been spending with Emmett, or Tanya.

"Who sent the DVD?" I ask, my voice gruff from crying.

"Tanya," he croaks out and I nod. Of course it was. Why wouldn't she ruin my whole life? "I am so sorry." I ignore him. "Will you ever forgive me?" I look away and shrug, because really, I don't know.

**Yep, lots of hurt in the chapter. I don't really like this chapter, so I'm sorry if you don't either. One chapter and an Epi left I'm afraid.**

**I have written the last chapter (the next one) and the Epi and I would really love it if we got to 650 reviews by the time this story is over. Yes, high expectations, but it would make my day if we could.**

**Thank you for reading and please review.**

**Thanks, RuthPerk.**

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	37. Chapter 35

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a Fanfiction and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy!**

**Last time:**

_"I'm messed up, okay? I always have been and I always will be. I didn't think about your feelings at the time; I was high as a kite. I wanted his car so fucking bad. When I first started talking to you, yeah, it was for the bet. But he crashed his car the next week, and I still spoke to you. I got to know you and I wanted to be around you. I wanted to be your friend, Bella, because I care about you."_

_"Don't call me that," I hiss and he looks startled._

_"What?" he chokes out, his voice getting thicker with his tears._

_"Don't call me 'Bella'. You don't have the right to call me 'Bella' anymore." He lets out a sob from his throat then and I wipe under my eyes with my thumb._

_Getting up from the floor, I grab a glass of water and lean against the counter, looking everywhere but him. I take deep breaths, willing myself to not cry. So, Mike crashed the car and Edward still carried on with the bet. What else did he offer him? I'll bet it was much better than a car. After all, he did spend a lot of time with me; time he could have been spending with Emmett, or Tanya._

_"Who sent the DVD?" I ask, my voice gruff from crying._

_"Tanya," he croaks out and I nod. Of course it was. Why wouldn't she ruin my whole life? "I am so sorry." I ignore him. "Will you ever forgive me?" I look away and shrug, because really, I don't know._

**Chapter thirty-five.**

**Now:**

"He does nothing but sit in his room, listening to music. Mom is starting to get really worried about him." Alice sighs, looking over towards Edward. He's sitting in the corner of the lunch room, listening to his iPod and picking at his food, looking sad and lonely. When he first walked into the room, all his friends waved him over, but he ignored them and sat on his own. Did I look that sad and lonely when I sat on my own, too?

"I don't know what you want from me, Alice. He did this to himself." I sigh and put my yogurt on the table, suddenly not hungry any more. Of course, Alice knows everything that went on between Edward and me. Being Edward's sister, she didn't want to know details; she just wanted to know why we weren't together any more. I told her that he was with me because of a bet and she went crazy. She literally went up to Edward and started screaming at him.

He took it like he deserved it, which he did. Hurting me means hurting Alice apparently, and she doesn't take getting hurt too well. When she had stopped yelling at him, he just apologized and walked off. I broke more and more with every step he took. His normally confident demeanor crumbled as he walked away with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders slouched over.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Alice says as she wraps her arms around me. I blink a few times and glance at my watch. It's the end of the day already? Where have I been since lunch?

"Yeah, bye." Alice lets go of me and skips over to Jasper, getting into his car. She refuses to ride with Edward as an act of protest. I told her she was being stupid, but she just told me she didn't want to be near her brother right now.

I leave the parking lot and, like always, a silver Volvo trails me the whole way home. I don't know whether to be creeped out or flattered that he wants to makes sure I get home safely. When I arrive at my house, I go up to the door and open it, not even looking back to see if he has left yet or not. I drop my bag in the hallway and go into the kitchen, grabbing a drink. I drain the glass and put it down just as a knock sounds on the door. I go to the door and open it. When I see who's on the other side, I try to shut it again, but he stops me.

"Just five minutes, please," he begs and I sigh. Yes, I want to know why he agreed to the bet, but I also don't want to know. What if he says he only agreed because he thought it would be funny to see me cry? What if his reason is completely horrible? But, what if this was all some stupid joke and he's here to rub it in some more? I can't help but feel that I need to know. So, I step back and open the door a little wider.

"Five minutes." He nods and follows me to the living room. Sitting on the couch next to me, he leaves a wide gap between us. He doesn't start talking right away and I look over to see him looking at the floor, his head in his hands.

"I am so very sorry. Everything is just a big misunderstanding." I shake my head in disbelief, but I don't say anything. How did I misunderstand that the only reason he was with me was for a car?

"I'm not who I used to be. I don't want to be who I am," he sobs, his eyes on the floor. "I never wanted to be like this, but after everything that happened…." he trails off. I furrow my brows.

"What happened?"

I can see him take in a deep breath and run both of his hands through his hair, gripping the longer strands at the back. He's hunched over, nearly falling off the chair, his head still in his hands. I want to go over there and hold him and make all of his pain go away, but I don't know if I could or not. He hurt me in ways I thought he never would.

"It was Christmas, about five years ago. Mom and Dad were still in bed and I was bored, so I called my friends and we all went out," he pauses. His eyes are far away, like he isn't really there. "We had only been out for an hour when one of them pulls out a joint. I was only twelve and I can remember yelling at them that they were too young to be smoking that. They laughed and told me to grow up. They were all fourteen and it was cool to smoke pot.

"They smoked it anyway. They even offered some to me; I declined. I can remember thinking 'why would anyone need drugs?' to myself. He chuckles, but it falls flat. "They smoked a few and I just sat off to the side. I didn't want to get in trouble. I was so relieved when Esme called me and asked me to come home. I told the guys I had to go home and they said they would come with me." He stops talking and runs his hands through his hair. My throat closes up at the anger and hatred on his face. Is that at himself? At the people he was friends with?

"I told them not to bother, but they came anyway. We arrived and I walked in to find Alice and Carlisle in the living room, watching a Christmas show on the TV. Esme was in the kitchen, baking like always." A ghost of a smile flits across his face before it goes again and is replaced by a scowl. He swallows hard and takes his hands away from his hair. He eyes meet mine and I gasp at the pain in them.

"At first we were all just chilling out, watching TV, and having a laugh. Then they all got the munchies. I told them I would get them food, but one of the guys wanted to get it. He went into the kitchen and came back out, Esme following him with a plate of freshly cooked cookies. They all dived for them and she smiled, handing them out." He lets out another sob and I take his hand in mine, wanting to offer him some form of comfort. Yeah, he's hurt me, but he's hurting too.

"They were fighting over the cookies, just messing around, until one of the guys took it too far and punched his friend. Esme stepped up and tried to break it up. She was knocked into one of the windows and it shattered as she went through it." I gasp, my stomach going into my throat and my heart sinking at the same time. Poor Esme. Why doesn't anyone know about all of this? Surely my parents would have told me if they knew.

"She landed on the glass and it punctured into her stomach and back. Carlisle went into doctor mode and the guys ran. They knew they would get in trouble, so they fled the scene. Alice called an ambulance and I just stood there. I had no clue what to do." I rub the back of his hand with my free one. He's lost in his memories, but I want to help him if he needs it.

"She had lost so much blood by the time the ambulance arrived. I can remember, it was like she was lying in a puddle. I know people aren't supposed to be able to smell blood, but I could; all salt and copper. It was so strong. I threw up; I ran to the bathroom and threw up while my mother was dying." He shakes his head, his eyes meeting mine briefly before he looks away again.

"She was in the hospital from nearly a month. She lost a lot of blood, but she also lost her baby." My free hand goes to my mouth. Esme was pregnant? When was she pregnant?

"I'm so sorry," I whisper and he turns to me, leaning forward and putting his head into the crook of my neck, nuzzling into me. I let him. What he must be going through is so much worse than my stupid problems.

"She was eight months along. They tried to save the baby, but they couldn't. They had to remove the baby and then her womb to stop the bleeding. It was her last chance to have a baby, and I stole it."

"No! That wasn't your fault!" I hiss, holding him tightly to me. He nods against me, and I want to tell him again, but I know he won't listen to me.

"When she got out of hospital, she was so sad. She had to take medication because she was depressed. She seemed to be getting better and then one day, I came home from school and found her in her bedroom. She tried to kill herself with her sleeping pills. I called Dad and he got her to the hospital.

"Alice and I went to see her when she woke up and she just sat there, glaring at me. I asked her what was wrong and she told me it was all my fault. She told me I had killed my little brother and she didn't want to live if she couldn't have him. She told me she didn't love me anymore because I took away the one thing she wanted most." He stops again and I can feel my shirt slowly get wetter and wetter. His whole body shakes against mine as he sobs into my neck.

"She didn't mean it, Edward. She loves you, you know that." He shakes his head, but I know he believes me, deep down.

"She's right, it's all my fault. If I hadn't brought them back home, none of it would have happened. I killed my baby brother." I let him cry, because he obviously needs it. If Renee told me she hated me, I don't know what I would do. My mom means everything to me, even if she does get on my nerves sometimes. It's obvious Esme had counseling after all of this happened, but did Edward?

"Have you ever spoken to anyone about this?" I ask.

"We went to family sessions, but it was so hard talking to someone about what I was feeling. I never went back after the first two sessions, but everyone else still went." I can hardly understand him because he is sobbing so hard, but I nod and run my fingers through his hair.

We sit like this for nearly an hour. His crying stops and he just sits, playing with the hem of my shirt. I don't move away or speak to him because I know he just needs to be alone with his thoughts for a while. Every once in a while, he sniffles and the sound melts my heart a little more.

Yes, he hurt me and, yes, I shouldn't forgive him so easily, and I'm not. But right now, he needs me to support him and not yell at him and kick him out. He has some serious issues with himself and Esme, and he needs to talk to someone and work through them. Whether that person is me or a therapist, he needs someone to talk to.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, pulling away so he can see my face.

"What are you sorry for?" I don't want to think he's sorry for what he did when really he's just sorry for crying.

"For everything; for just now and for what I did to you." I look away from him, but he grabs my chin and makes me face him again. My eyes meet his and I can't look away from them.

"When I took that bet, it was for a laugh." I shut my eyes and try to get out of his grip. "Please, just listen." I open my eyes again and nod hesitantly. "But after spending just an hour with you, I knew I didn't want anything to do with it any more. I know you probably don't believe it, but you are a special person, Bella." Even thought I don't like him right now, I can't help but blush.

"I told Mike I didn't want anything to do with the bet anymore and he was cool with it. The bet was cancelled before New Year's." I sniffle slightly and look into his eyes. I see nothing but honesty in them. Everything wasn't a joke to him? "Everything was real, Bella," he whispers.

Everything from New Year's has been real? It hasn't been some sick, cruel joke and there weren't any bets? Sure, this may have started off as a bet, but he told Mike he couldn't do it anymore. Is that why he seemed so shocked I knew, because the bet wasn't even on anymore? All this hurt and heartbreak happened for no reason.

"You really loved me?" I whimper, tears filling my eyes. He nods, a small smile on his lips. He leans forwards and brushes his lips gently against mine.

"I still do love you. I never stopped loving you," he admits, his smile getting bigger. "Why didn't you let me explain when you saw that stupid DVD?"

"Because it never made sense for you to love me." He shakes his head and pulls me to him, holding me close to him.

"I love you, Bella," he whispers.

"I love you, too," I admit, making him smile brightly. "If this is going to work between us, you need to talk to someone." His smile turns into a frown and he looks away. I grab his chin like he did to me and make him look at me. "I mean it. You are obviously feeling some hurt and anger and you need to have someone help you with it all." He nods, but he seems like he doesn't agree with me.

"Then you need to talk with someone, too. You need to understand that you aren't fat or ugly. You need to understand how beautiful you are."

**Two years later:**

Edward and I did attend therapy, together and separately. With help, of course, we became stronger as a couple and as individuals. My confidence grew and I realized that most things that were said about me were just horrible lies.

Edward is in medical school and I am attending the University of Washington to study writing. We're still together and I see him every day after school and on the weekends. Our relationship is stronger than it has ever been, and he is always quick to tell everyone I am his girlfriend.

I love Edward and I know he loves me, too. Everything could work out, but then again, it could all crumble around me. Being with Edward is worth the risk. He has quickly become everything to me, and deep down, I know we will make this will work.

Loving him, and having him love me in return, is everything I will ever need. Our love will see us through everything.

**:') I can't believe that was the last chapter. There is an Epilogue coming shortly. I hope you have all enjoyed this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Thank you all for you support and love. It means so very much to me.**

**Thank you all for reading and please review.**

**Thanks, RuthPerk, who has BETA'd this whole story for me.**

**Thanks again to everyone who has been here from the start, or who has found this story and thought 'hey, I'll give it a read'.**

**Twi-girl09**

**x**


	38. Epilogue

**Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a Fanfiction and there will be fiction in the story.**

**For the last time, Enjoy!**

First of all, I would just like to thank all of you for the amazing support you have all given me on this story. When I first started writing it, I never thought it would get the support it has gotten. Each and every one of you have given me the most amazing reviews that just make me feel like I am worth something in this world.

Like Bella, I have problems with the way I see myself and I know this. I am working towards seeing myself for who I really am, but it isn't as easy as it seems.

Some of you have shared your stories with me and I want to thank you because it's not easy to tell people about your problems and what you have been through. I bet you all think 'but you wrote a story about your problems'. Yes, I did, but I did it because I needed to get it all out. Having everything bottled up inside isn't good for you and this is like therapy to me.

Anyway, I want to send out big kisses and love to everyone reading and I hope you have gotten everything that you wanted out of this story.

**Last time:**

_"I still d__o love you. I never stopped loving you," he admits, his smile getting bigger._

_"Why didn't you let me explain when you saw that stupid DVD?"_

_"Because it never made sense for you to love me." He shakes his head and pulls me to him, holding me close to him._

_"I love you, Bella," he whispers._

_"I love you, too," I admit, making him smile brightly. "If this is going to work between us, you need to talk to someone." His smile turns into a frown and he looks away. I grab his chin like he did to me and make him look__ at me. "I mean it. You are obviously feeling some hurt and anger and you need to have someone help you with it all." He nods, but he seems like he doesn't agree with me._

_"Then you need to talk with someone, too. You need to understand that you aren't fat __or ugly. You need to understand how beautiful you are."_

**Two years later:**

_Edward and I did attend therapy, together and separately. With help, of course, we became stronger as a couple and as individuals. My confidence grew and I realized that most things t__hat were said about me were just horrible lies._

_Edward is in medical school and I am attending the University of Washington to study writing. We're still together and I see him every day after school and on the weekends. Our relationship is stronger than i__t has ever been, and he is always quick to tell everyone I am his girlfriend._

_I love Edward and I know he loves me, too. Everything could work out, but then again, it could all crumble around me. Being with Edward is worth the risk. He has quickly become e__verything to me, and deep down, I know we will make this will work._

_Loving him, and having him love me in return, is everything I will ever need. Our love will see us through everything._

**Epilogue.**

**Now:**

No-one said life was easy.

Things can be going great and then, boom, life throws you a curve ball and you have to work around it until life is running smoothly again. It isn't easy to get things back on track, but somehow you manage.

I never thought I would be this happy in life. At sixteen, I would have said I would be living alone with seventeen cats and no friends. I couldn't have been more wrong. Now, I live with my best friend in the whole world - Alice.

She was right when she said she was never going to leave my side. I haven't been able to lose her along the road of my life and I'm glad that she glued herself to my side. I know for a fact my life wouldn't be as fun, and sometimes scary, as it is now if it wasn't for her.

As I predicted, Emmett put a ring on Rosalie's finger and they moved to Europe just after their wedding. They're expecting their third child any time now. I have met both of their children and they are both gorgeous. Lilly and Rebecca were born nine months after their honeymoon. They both have Rosalie's hair and body with Emmett's dimples. I fell in love with them right away.

Things have become civil over the years between Rosalie, Emmett, and me. I have in no way forgiven them, and I probably never will, but I need to let things go and move on with my life. My therapist told me that I shouldn't resent or hate people from my past and allow them the chance to redeem themselves.

"Ms. Swan, there's someone special here to see you." I smile and thank Tami, my receptionist, before grabbing my bag and leaving my office. I say hello to everyone I see on my way down to the reception area and make small talk with a colleague in the elevator.

As soon as the doors open, two arms are thrown around my legs and I beam down at the brown head of hair. I move out of the way of the door awkwardly.

"Hey, baby," I coo, running my hand over his head. He looks up and smiles toothily at me, making my heart melt. Bending down, I pull the small boy into my arms and hold him tightly to me. "Are you being a good boy, Tyler?" He nods with another big grin.

Looking over his shoulder, I see Edward leaning against the wall by the door, one ankle crossed over the other and a big crooked grin on his face. When his green eyes meet mine, my heart skips a beat and my heart flutters in my chest, butterflies filling my stomach.

Even after all these years, my body still reacts strangely to him. I know we probably won't last forever, but it's going great for now. Whenever I tell Alice this, she just rolls her eyes and says she sees us being together forever. Then I roll my eyes back at her and say 'like you and Jazz'. She just beams brightly at that and chats away about her husband. That was a big surprise to everyone. One day, Alice and Jasper came by, grabbed Edward and myself, pulled us into the car and drove off. They wouldn't tell us where they were going. They ended up getting married in by a justice of the peace in Seattle. Esme wasn't too happy that she couldn't plan a wedding, but Alice told her she could plan mine and Edward's.

With Tyler still in my arms, I walk over to Edward and place a kiss on his lips, passing Tyler into his arms.

"Hey." He grins, shifting Tyler into a more comfortable position.

"Hey, yourself." Taking my hand in his, he pulls me towards the door. I wave over to Tami as I leave and she waves back, her eyes still on her computer screen. I roll my eyes. That girl never stops working.

Walking along the street, I relish in the sun shining on my face and the feel of Edward's hand in mine. I love the way Edward and I can be so comfortable and not need to speak for days, but still know what the other person is thinking. As if knowing what I'm thinking, he looks down and places a soft kiss on my forehead, a grin against my skin.

He stands up straight again and our hands swing between us as we walk.

"Mommy?" I look over to see Tyler peaking at me from Edward's shoulder; his little eyes alight with curiosity. I smile and run my free hand over his back.

"She's working, honey. You'll see her later." He looks appeased as he puts his head back on Edward's shoulder.

Tyler was the biggest shock ever. I can remember getting a tearful phone call from Alice at six in the morning. I had stayed at Edward's the night before. I grumbled all the way home, and what I found was not at all what I expected. She was sitting on the floor in her bathroom, three pregnancy tests lying on the ground in front of her. They were all positive.

She was upset because she was worried about what Jasper would think. Turns out, he was over the moon with the news. Edward, however, was not so thrilled. After talking to Edward about not killing Jasper, he accepted that his sister was having a baby.

Tyler was born a month early, but he was still healthy and happy. Jasper and I were in with her as she had him and she declared I was his Godmother. She didn't ask, she just told me I was going to be his Godmother. Of course I would have been if she asked, but it was a shock.

Edward and I have him every Saturday while Alice goes into the office to do whatever it is that she does there. I normally don't work on the weekends, but there was a problem with the sports section that needed sorting out. Of course, I was the only one free to go in.

After I left school, I got a job as a Seattle Times columnist. I love my job very much. I can do anything - from fashion, to books, to food. I'm writing my own book on the side, but this is the kind of writing I always saw myself doing. My hours work around Edward's so when he's called in to work, I can write or a while until he comes home. It's perfect for us.

We have only been living together for a year now. Jasper moved in with Alice and I after their wedding and I offered to move out, but they told me they didn't want me to. I wasn't going to move out for space, but so they could have their own little nest. The house we share has five bedrooms, and must have cost a fortune, but the Cullens took care of the money. I pay them rent every month, just because I would feel bad if I didn't.

When Edward moved in, things were weird at first. Sure, we would always be together before he moved in, but living together was so different. There was no more "walk of shame", or having to go to the other's house to pick up forgotten clothing.

I know everyone is now waiting for us to get engaged, but I can't see it happening any time soon. Edward and I are perfectly happy the way things are right now. If he was to propose, I would say yes in a heartbeat, but how we are now is fine for the time being.

"What has you thinking so hard?" Edward chuckles as he brings our joined hands up to his mouth and places a kiss on the back of mine.

"You." I smile and he shakes his head, a content smile on his face.

"Nothing bad, I hope." We finally reach the car and Edward helps Tyler into the booster seat. Once he's in safely, Edward presses me against the passenger side door. His arms go around my waist and I wrap mine around his neck. His lips meet mine and he kisses me gently for a while, pulling back only to breathe. His forehead rests against mine, Eskimo kissing my nose with his.

"I love you," he breathes, his hands ghosting up and down my sides. I shiver from his touch and his words.

"I love you more," I reply, my fingers playing with the hair on the nape of his neck.

"Not possible." And his lips meet mine once more.

And just like that, I realized that it doesn't matter what size or shape you are. Everyone gets their happy ending.

The end.

**:') Thanks to each and every one of you for sticking with me.**

**A huge thank you to RuthPerk, for BETA'ing this. You are actually amazing :D**

**Thanks for reading and for the last time, please review.**

**Twi-girl09**

**Xx**

**A note from RuthPerk: **One of the greatest pleasures of being a beta (besides getting to read an awesome story before everyone else!) is watching your author's writing style grow and mature. I want to thank all of you for reading and reviewing this story, and also for your support of Twi-girl09 by sharing your own personal stories and giving her your encouragement.

To Twi-girl09 - thank you for letting me share in this journey of yours! You truly are the amazing one!


	39. Outtake

**Hi everyone! **

**I was re-reading this story the other day and I just felt like it needed a little something more. Also, I love these characters so much I could just leave them without seeing them be happy. So I wrote this as sort of an outtake. I don't know if this is the only one I'll write for this story, but this is all I have planned for now. So, thank you for reading and enjoy. **

**Ten years on - An outtake. **

"I look like a whale." She moans, standing in front of the full length mirror in our bathroom. I shake my head softly and walk up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist, my hands softly stroking her stomach.

"You do not." She frowns as she looks at herself from head to toe. Softly, I turn her away from the mirror so she's facing me and take her face into my hands. "You are the most beautiful woman in the world. I love you, Mrs Cullen." She smiles and my heart skips a beat.

"I love you too. Now, let me finish getting ready." I smirk and let go of her, going back into our bedroom. I flop onto the bed and put my hands behind my head.

Ten years since we graduated high school and so much has happened. Bella and I both have jobs that we love, her a newspaper journalist and me a doctor. Sure, the hours and long, but she trusts me to come home to her every night and I feel the same about her. We've been through too much together to not be with each other at least once a day. I love her with everything I am and I know she feels the same way about me.

Three years ago, we got married. It was just a quiet wedding in my parent's back yard. Everyone we love was there and it was beautiful. Alice arranged the whole thing as Bella and I were busy with work and honestly, I don't think we'd have done a better job anyway. Alice is a wedding planner now and mine and Bella's wedding was her very first. She didn't go straight into the planning side of it; she worked with Jasper in his cake shop for a while. That was surprise, Jasper wanting to be a baker. Everyone thought that he'd be a historian or something equally as boring, but nope, cakes do it for him.

Emmett and Rosalie moved back to Forks about two years ago and since them, their relationship with Bella has been getting better and better. We all know that she may never forgive them, but she's working on it and I admire her every day for how strong she is.

Every now and again, I'll find her in the bathroom, crying. It still scares the crap out of me, but I know how to deal with it now. All she needs is a hug and some comfort and I'm more than happy to give her that. When she's ready to talk, she'll say it's because she can't fit into a pair of jeans she likes or because she has three biscuits with her tea instead of two. I laughed at that one and she didn't talk to me for the rest of the day. Of course, I made up for it that night, but still.

Her weight issues still affect the both of us. She still insecure about it, but she handles it better. She's learnt to love herself the way she is and she knows I'll always love her, no matter what size she is. Just before we got married, she found a woman's number on my phone that she didn't know and she broke down. She thought it's because of her weight and I was cheating on her. After I told her it was about our surprise honeymoon, she calmed down a bit. We laugh about it now, but at the time I thought I had lost her.

The bathroom door opens and I sit up to see my beautiful wife. My breath escapes me and I gasp aloud. Her face falls instantly and I jump to my feet, rushing over to her.

"You look…" I can't even describe the way she looks right now. "Amazing." I finally breathe, placing my lips onto hers. She kisses me back before pulling away.

"Really? I think I have a tent I can wear…" she trails off and bites her lip playfully. Yeah, she jokes about her weight now. It bugs the crap out of me, but I let her get away with it.

"I would change a thing. You're so beautiful. I'm a lucky man." I put my hands on her stomach.

"I'm the lucky one." She sighs, her eyes piercing into mine. A thumping against my palm makes us both smile. I rub the spot softly and the baby kicks again.

After work Christmas Eve, I came home to find dinner cooked, the house dim and Bella sitting on the loveseat, a huge smile on her face. I knew instantly what had happened. I dropped everything I had and ran to her, pulling her into my arms.

We had been trying for a baby ever since we got married and it just didn't happen for us. Of course, Bella blames herself, saying she was too heavy to conceive. But that's utter bullshit and I and her therapist told her that. We went to the doctors the next day and they did a sonogram to see how far along we were. At two months, both of our children looked healthy and perfectly normal. Yep, both of them. Bella being a twin meant that our children were just that. Twins. We didn't care. We'd been trying for three long years and if a football team came out of there, we'd be over the moon. We were now a proper family.

The whole family were ecstatic when we told them, and my mom brought everything she could find. When we found out the sexes of the baby, she brought more clothes and shoes and cribs and everything else. Pink and blue everything. Finding out we were having a boy and a girl made Bella panic a little. She was worried that their relationship would be like that of her's and her brothers. Like history repeating itself. After another therapy session, she realised that growing up around me and her, our children would be good hearted people that love each other.

"Shall we go?" her voice brings me back and I nod, taking her hand in mine as we go downstairs, out the door and into the car. As I pull out of the driveway, she turns on the radio and fiddles with the buttons, changing the station and biting her lip. Taking her hand into mine, I kiss her knuckles, making her sigh.

"Chill out, babe. There's really nothing to worry about." She nods, but she doesn't look convinced. I hold her hand for the rest of the short drive. When we got the letter two weeks ago for this, Bella said she wasn't going. I convinced her to go thought. I mean, this is the only high school reunion we may have and I want to show Bella off to all those horrible people we went to school with. I want to walk through the halls holding Bella's hand with our children growing inside of her. I want everyone to see how amazing she looks and I want them to be jealous of her now, because they should be.

Over the years, Bella lost weight. I mean lots of weight. She went from a size sixteen to a size eight and she looks fantastic. Of course, I loved her before she lost all the weight, but now she glows about how she looks. It makes her more beautiful somehow. She has gained weight since she got pregnant, but everyone does. She has been watching what she eats and has gone up to a fourteen. She hates that fact. I love it. It reminds me of the girl I fell in love with.

I stop the car and look up at the red brick building where it all began. If it wasn't for this place, I would have never found the girl of my dreams. I could have stayed high or drunk for the rest of my life. To be honest, if I kept on the way I was before I met Bella, I think I would be dead by now. She has really and truly saved my life, she just doesn't know it.

I climb out of the car and walk around to her side, helping her out. Her hands are shaking as I hold them and I pull her to me, feeling her relax into me. I just hold her for a while until she says she's cold. People all around us are walking into the school with their respective others. some people I recognise greet us as we walk we greet them back.

The gym where the reunion is being help is exactly the same as it was when we came here. Now, balloons and banners with our year and our logo litter the walls and the floor. It looks like someone has sprinkled the floor with glittery confetti. There are tables scattered all around and one by the door with name badges. Bella and I put our name badges on before venturing further into the hall. People smile and wave and I wave back, Bella smiling politely at them. She may seem rude; by I know it's just the nerves.

"Bella! Edward!" We both look to see Alice standing up by a table full of people. She waves us over and I don't think I've ever seen Bella walk so fast since she got pregnant. Following behind my wife, I greet my sister before helping my wife sit down in an empty seat, I sit next to her. Everyone at the table greets us and Bella seems to relax a little.

Emmett and Rosalie are sat at the end of the table, talking quietly. Jasper and Alice are sat opposite us, smiling and looking around the room. Angela and her husband Josh are sitting next to Alice and Jasper and there are a few empty seats next to me.

"How're you feeling Bella?" Alice asks, drawing in Bella's attention.

"My feet hurt and I've been having pain in my back, but other than that." She shrugs, smiling slightly.

"Why didn't you tell me you were in pain?" I ask. She never said anything about pain.

"It's nothing, Edward. If I was worried, I'd tell you. I promise." I nod. We'll have to keep an eye on that pain. With her being eight month pregnant with twins, we've been told to keep an eye out, just in case she goes into labour early.

Bella and Alice start a conversation about baby stuff so Jasper and i go to get drinks. Everyone around us talks to us about life and by the time we get to the bar, the room is crowded. We give the guy our orders and I look back at Bella. She's looking around and when she sees me, her worry seems to disappear and she smiles, mouthing that she loves me. I mouth it back and she blushes. I love her blush.

"Edward Cullen?" I cringe at the all too familiar voice and turn to see Tanya standing there, looking as slutty as always. Her Barbie pink dress clashes with her orange skin and she's dyed her hair black, making her look like a vampire.

"Hi, Tanya." She smiles and runs her hand over my arm, making me flinch away. I hear Jasper laugh behind me.

"So, are you seeing anyone at the moment? I have a hotel room down the street." My stomach churns painfully. I shake my head.

"Sorry Tanya but…" A voice interrupts me before I can finish.

"Baby, what's taking so long?" I see Bella walking up behind Tanya, holding her stomach protectively.

"Bella. You remember Tanya." I hold my hand out and Bella takes it, moulding into my side.

"Of course, how are you Tanya?" Tanya's eyes turn hard and she look Bella over. With a glare, Tanya turns away, completely ignoring Bella's question.

"Still lovely I see." Bella says sarcastically and I laugh lightly. We get our drinks and head back to the table. As Bella sits, she winces but waves it off, claiming she's having Braxton hicks again. She has been having them for the past few weeks and her OB/GYN said that it was nothing to worry about, just to keep an eye on them.

"This is our wedding song." Bella whispers and sure enough 'Celine Dion – Because you loved me' is playing over the speakers.

"Dance with me?" I hold out my hand and Bella gets to her feet, going onto the dance floor with me. We make our way towards the middle and sway to the music, Bella's bump stopping us from really dancing together. As we sway, people look at us and smile and I can tell Bella is uncomfortable with the attention.

I look at my beautiful wife and see tears in her eyes. "What is it?" I sound panicked. "Do you want to go sit down?" She shakes her head and winces.

"I think the twins are coming." She gasps and the blood drains from my face. Everyone at our table are looking at us and I wave them over. They all come immediately.

"Alice, can you drive us to the hospital." It dawns on her and she grins and nods, taking my keys. Jasper says he'll take our stuff home and get Bella's hospital bag. I thank him and help my wife to the car, getting her and myself into the backseat.

Bella's labour was long and hard. After fourty-nine hours Mason and Maisy Cullen were finally with us. I have never been so proud that Bella is my wife. She was strong throughout the whole thing, using nothing but the gas and air they offered. She wanted to be with it when she meets our children for the first time.

Watching her sleep with our children in my arms, I have never been happier. And it's all because of my Bella. She's my everything and I wouldn't change a single thing about her. She may hate the way she looks or anything else about her for that matter, but to me, that's what makes her beautiful. Without her in my life, I don't know where I would be and I know for a fact I wouldn't be this happy.

Her eyes slowly flutter open and she smiles softly at me.

"Thank you." I whisper and she smiles softly again before her eyes flutter shut. I look at her and then our children and I know, we have the perfect family.

**This hasn't been BETA'd so if there are any mistakes, I'm sorry. **

**Thank you for reading. **

**Twi-girl09**

**xxxx**


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